[Obdigore]

Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast, on 23 December 2011 - 12:24 PM, said:

I wish I could go home to find that my copy of swtor has arrived do I can continue playing. Kind of a double wish but answer as you will.

You go home and find your copy of sw:tor. Like it took me this morning, it takes you over 2 hours to actually put your serial code into the overloaded EA site, and then a power surge fries your computer, ruining the Mobo, CPU, HDD, and Power Supply.

I wish that I could drink as much as I wanted and never get drunk.

[Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast]

You drink and drink and drink and drink. And then your stomach explodes and alcohol seeps from your eyes.

I wish that the corruption of my previous wish wasn't the truth that it, no doubt, is.

This post has been edited by Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast: 23 December 2011 - 12:37 PM

[Tapper]

Your wish is granted. You can drink as many non-alcoholical beverages as you like without getting drunk or suffering from a hangover.

I wish it was 4 o clock.

------

your wish is granted. Instead, the cd-rom is scratched beyond redemption.

I still wish it was 4 o clock.

This post has been edited by Tapper: 23 December 2011 - 12:38 PM

[Abyss]

Tapper, on 23 December 2011 - 12:36 PM, said:

I wish it was 4 o clock.

...
I still wish it was 4 o clock.

Granted. It's 4 o'clock on the other side of the world, which does you no good whatsoever.

I wish sweat pants and a hoodie were considered acceptable wear in my workplace.

[HiddenOne]

Granted! Your stunning & comfy leisurewear fits right in at your prestigious job as a pimp down on 127th Street. Sadly, when rival gangstas gun you down, you're easily pansted by your vengeful ho's, exposing to the world the Scorching Herpes_TM infesting you.



I wish there was some activity on this forum. Bor-ring!

[Abyss]

HiddenOne, on 23 December 2011 - 03:43 PM, said:

...I wish there was some activity on this forum. Bor-ring!

Granted. The forum is infested by a viral form of boring beetles that are actively devouring all posts ever and spreading to your harddrive as you read this.

I wish that Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer stop-action animation thing featured more violence and bloodshed. Like when Rudolph charges the Bumble, he should totally fly up and antler it in the eyes...

[Tapper]

Rudolph the Bloody-Nosed Reindeer Real Life Gladiator Action kicks off, in the Colosseum, even. Sadly, you're his first opponent. Good luck with that spork, Abyss...

I wish people wouldn't do all their christmas shopping at the time I pop into the store just to buy tomorrow's breakfast and a few belgian beers.

[rhulad]

Granted, now everyone finishes their Christmas shopping ten minutes before you arrive at the store. Sadly there is nothing left for you to buy except a three week old danish and some frulis.

I wish the hipsters would stop.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Wish granted. They stop. Then start again. With a 58% increase in ineffable smugness and preening.

I wish that there was a way to control sweating with your mind.

[Dolmen 2.0]

wish granted, there is a way. The results are everything you dreamed of and more. stopping your sweat glands not only retains valuable water within your body it keeps your liver happily liquidated and hyper functional allowing you to imbibe more alcohol than you ever thought possible. sadly the way to such a god-like control of your extremities is attained only by a life of solitary focus with no sex. ever. not even the solo kind. I'm serious, all sweat reserves simultaneously combust at the mere thought of a thong. you thus are forced to live a very lonely unfulsexing life.

I wish thongs were like guns so people had to get a licence to use 'em.

[Tapper]

Wish granted. Thongs now are licensed and the licensing is done by the same board that rates video games and movies, making sure no-one under 50, with a figure to wear a thong is allowed to, only mormons and people who can wear them without corrupting the youth. AKA people on whom the thong increases ugliness and emphasizes overweight. Heidi Klum is banned from the States, as is that Mexican sports presenter who does NFL interviews, and nukes are unleashed on the Copa Cabana in Brazil because they're certain to come up with an alternative that's even more scandalous. All Vicotria's Secrets, Agent Provocateur and La Perla models are interred in Guantanamo Bay and force fed until they too meet the standards of the Board for Thongs.
Oh, and I'll hate you forever.

I wish all those hideous neon christmas decorations would spontaneously combust.

[Abyss]

Tapper, on 24 December 2011 - 10:21 AM, said:

I wish all those hideous neon christmas decorations would spontaneously combust.

Granted. They all combust, causing a resurgence of all those tacky, day-glo, sparkly, cheesy, so very saccharine they make your teeth ache christmas decorations of days gone by. Surfing on the resultant worldwide wave of hideous nostalgia, the Republicans win the US election, the Eurozone dissolves, Quebec separates from Canada, and Russia goes full commie. It's all your fault. Thanks for playing.

I wish i had some really good tacos and beer right now.

[Tapper]

Abyss, on 05 January 2012 - 03:41 PM, said:

Tapper, on 24 December 2011 - 10:21 AM, said:

I wish all those hideous neon christmas decorations would spontaneously combust.

Granted. They all combust, causing a resurgence of all those tacky, day-glo, sparkly, cheesy, so very saccharine they make your teeth ache christmas decorations of days gone by. Surfing on the resultant worldwide wave of hideous nostalgia, the Republicans win the US election, the Eurozone dissolves, Quebec separates from Canada, and Russia goes full commie. It's all your fault. Thanks for playing.

I wish i had some really good tacos and beer right now.

You have some really good tacos and beer, but your name is changed to Billy-Bob, you are married to your cousin who is also your sister (and you both share a few extra chromosomes which all encourage bodymass) and you live in an Arizona trailer park with your seventeen children (who are also your brothers and sisters). When you come home, you then learn that one of your younger brothers (who is also your son)has been sleeping with your wife.
So you take him out and shoot him, get arrested and when asked to draw your family tree at the police station, you get so confused that you need a straight jacket.

I wish I could adhere to a clean desk policy.

[Abyss]

Tapper, on 05 January 2012 - 03:51 PM, said:

I wish I could adhere to a clean desk policy.

Granted. A clean desk policy pamphlet is superglued to your face.

I wish i had enough time to enjoy tacos and beer on the way to my pm meeting.

[QuickTidal]

Abyss, on 05 January 2012 - 04:10 PM, said:

Tapper, on 05 January 2012 - 03:51 PM, said:

I wish I could adhere to a clean desk policy.

Granted. A clean desk policy pamphlet is superglued to your face.

I wish i had enough time to enjoy tacos and beer on the way to my pm meeting.

Granted. Tacos and Beer are now injected intravenously directly into your blood stream VIA a med pack on your back. They taste delicious and take mere seconds to consume. Sadly, the concentrated nature of said delivery system means that the gases you produce are that much more noxious and you accidentally kill the entire meeting room of people, then yourself, with your own farts.

I wish there was more time in a day to watch movies.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 05 January 2012 - 04:23 PM

[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 05 January 2012 - 04:22 PM, said:

I wish there was more time in a day to watch movies.

Granted. You're fired. Now you have 7.5 more hours a day to watch movies.

I wish that notwithstanding the above corrupted wishes, i could do something positive about this taco/beer craving.

[QuickTidal]

Abyss, on 05 January 2012 - 04:33 PM, said:

QuickTidal, on 05 January 2012 - 04:22 PM, said:

I wish there was more time in a day to watch movies.

Granted. You're fired. Now you have 7.5 more hours a day to watch movies.

I wish that notwithstanding the above corrupted wishes, i could do something positive about this taco/beer craving.

Granted. The part of your brain that craves tacos and beer is removed VIA magic....and all is well.


....



....


oh wait.

That part of your brain is also the part that concerns memory. Therefore you have forgotten the previous corrupted wishes about your taco-beer wish, and you've even forgotten this one.

You now only crave Locked-Bacon empires (DEf.: This is an empire where all bacon is locked up and cannot be touched)

I wish Season 4 Starbuck never existed and Season 3 Starbuck was the end.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. Unfortunately, the humans of Planet Earth decide that they cannot live without season 4, and decide to get rid of Starbuck wholesale. Xerxes style.

I wish that things were simpler.

[Tapper]

Ain, on 06 January 2012 - 06:45 AM, said:

Granted. Unfortunately, the humans of Planet Earth decide that they cannot live without season 4, and decide to get rid of Starbuck wholesale. Xerxes style.

I wish that things were simpler.

Wish granted. Things are now simpler. You discover that you didn't want things to be simpler, but that you wanted things to be as you wanted things to be. So you're still a sack of love-hurt and teenage angst, but now everyone just goes 'lol' with a complete and utter blank look when you want to talk about stuff.

I wish I had slept a lot better last night.

[Abyss]

Tapper, on 06 January 2012 - 09:23 AM, said:

I wish I had slept a lot better last night.

Granted... i just went back in time and clubbed you unconcious around 8pm last night. You awake this morning refreshed and well rested with a curious set of bruises on your headparts.


I wish it was already 5pm.