[Abyss]

Granted. But the perpetual herpes triggers my dormant metagene, healing me AND giving me superpowers. Then i join the aforementioned superteam and you have to watch our adventures on youtube and live with the constant reminder that i'm chowing down with Elvis, getting high as the moon with Jim, jamming with Jimi and drinking with Amy, in between saving the world and basically having the bestest time ever while you live your ordinary boring life.

I wish this yoghurt was bacon flavored.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Abyss, on 14 May 2013 - 12:38 PM, said:

Granted. But the perpetual herpes triggers my dormant metagene, healing me AND giving me superpowers. Then i join the aforementioned superteam and you have to watch our adventures on youtube and live with the constant reminder that i'm chowing down with Elvis, getting high as the moon with Jim, jamming with Jimi and drinking with Amy, in between saving the world and basically having the bestest time ever while you live your ordinary boring life.

I wish this yoghurt was bacon flavored.

Abracadabra, hocus pocus! suddenly the yoghurt is Bacon flavoured. Fresh Bacon flavoured. Real fresh in fact. Actually your yoghurt tastes like a pig sweaty behind, enjoy.

I wish I didn't see the How I Met Your Mother Season 8 spoiler. Now I know the Mum. and I'm only on Season 6!

[Abyss]

Dolmen+, on 14 May 2013 - 02:24 PM, said:

I wish I didn't see the How I Met Your Mother Season 8 spoiler. Now I know the Mum. and I'm only on Season 6!

Granted. Because everyone knows that was a fake spoiler deliberately planted to mislead people.

I wish Alyson Hannigan's character in How I Met coud do an entire episode as the vampire Willow and massacre the rest of the cast.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Abyss, on 14 May 2013 - 04:30 PM, said:

Dolmen+, on 14 May 2013 - 02:24 PM, said:

I wish I didn't see the How I Met Your Mother Season 8 spoiler. Now I know the Mum. and I'm only on Season 6!

Granted. Because everyone knows that was a fake spoiler deliberately planted to mislead people.

I wish Alyson Hannigan's character in How I Met coud do an entire episode as the vampire Willow and massacre the rest of the cast.

She does, only she's a pregnant vampire Willow and its Suit-up day. the constriction of movement slows her massacreing down to a very unproductive furious waddle.

I Wish the younger versions of Alyson Hannigan, Jessica Alba and Halle berry had a battle royal against Emilia Clarke in a muddy pool wearing cheerleader outfits for the sake of the world.

[masan's saddle]

Dolmen+, on 14 May 2013 - 07:04 PM, said:

I Wish the younger versions of Alyson Hannigan, Jessica Alba and Halle berry had a battle royal against Emilia Clarke in a muddy pool wearing cheerleader outfits for the sake of the world.

Granted, surprisingly Jessica Alba wins through and then proceeds to drink the world's entire supply of sake, it takes her a while but eventually she does it.

Older, muddier and heavier by at least 35 stone, a completely shitfaced Jessica Alba decides you are the one for her. You die shortly after from your injuries.



I wish Jessica Alba would lose some weight and lay off the booze.

[Abyss]

masan, on 15 May 2013 - 12:53 PM, said:

I wish Jessica Alba would lose some weight and lay off the booze.

Granted. She gives up booze entirely, hits the gym hardcore, gets into the bestest shape of her life, then hunts you down and beats you senseless for publicly voicing your stupid meaningless opinion about her body and lifestyle choices.

I wish my car had satellite radio.

[Spoilsport Stonny]

Granted. Now you listen to howard stern all day but tell people you listen to NPR.

I wish i were a penis bone.

[Abyss]

Spoilsport Stonny, on 04 June 2013 - 02:54 AM, said:

...

I wish i were a penis bone.

Granted. Now we can call you a dick to your face. or head or something.

I wish scotch.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. The scotch has the floaties of a thousand halitosis-infected alcoholics in it.

I wish that I had some coke. The drink.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Ain, on 04 June 2013 - 09:03 AM, said:

I wish that I had some coke. The drink.

Granted. You have 5 litres of flat, warm coke in your house, no lemons and the ice ran out. You can always use it as mouth wash.

I wish my tablet arrives today and works and straightaway makes my life more enjoyable. Well, the 5 hour commute every day part of my life anyways.

This post has been edited by Miss Savagely Wishy Washy : 11 June 2013 - 08:12 AM

[Abyss]

Miss Savagely Wishy Washy, on 11 June 2013 - 08:12 AM, said:

I wish my tablet arrives today and works and straightaway makes my life more enjoyable. Well, the 5 hour commute every day part of my life anyways.

Granted. But you are so engrossed in your new toy that you miss your stop are late to work and lose your job. Also, herpes.

I wish i was having breakfast on a scenic tropical beach somewhere semi civilized.

[Ukjent]

You got food poisoning.




I wish it was warmer and me and someone of the opposite sex had a six-pack while watching the sun fall and rise.

[Studlock]

Granted, you stay in the Sahara desert for days, watching as a person with a six-pack slowly eats one of your legs for substance, your only memory is the sun falling and rising above.

I wish I had a better job that I currently do.

[Azathmaster]

Studlock, on 12 June 2013 - 04:18 AM, said:

Granted, you stay in the Sahara desert for days, watching as a person with a six-pack slowly eats one of your legs for substance, your only memory is the sun falling and rising above.

I wish I had a better job that I currently do.

You do, but only by the barest, minute definition of better. Also to get that job you have to give up bacon. For ever.

I wish I wasn't so bored.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. You go on a month-long bender of thrills, spills and crazy hi-jinks, each one crazier than the last. Jet-skiing, mountain climbing, hang-gliding, paintballing-you do it all. Unfortunately all good things come to an end and when the month is over, you find yourself unable to cope with the resumption of the boredom and go mentally insane.

I wish I had bacon, sausages, hash browns and a steak sandwich next to me.

[Abyss]

Ain, on 15 June 2013 - 06:12 AM, said:

I wish I had bacon, sausages, hash browns and a steak sandwich next to me.

Granted. None of it is cooked tho'. Bon appetit.

I wish i could get to sleep.

[HiddenOne]

granted, you sleep soundly to awaken 1000 years later, when fungi have evolved to rule the planet. You are also the proud owner of the last living tissue on the planet that is not covered with mold and slowly being turned into quivering jelly. What's that fuzzy spot on your leg? It wasn't there a minute ago, you say? Hmmm


I wish that I could get paid $1000 an hour

[Abyss]

HiddenOne, on 15 June 2013 - 12:05 PM, said:

I wish that I could get paid $1000 an hour

Granted. In the sense that there are jobs that exist that would pay you such a princely sum, if only you could do the work necessary to meet the qualifications. Sadly, you're playing stupid corrupt a wish games on the internet instead of using your time so productively, and also you smell weird. Like alien weird. Alien rotting food weird in fact.

I wish i had time to go exercise outside today.

[Ukjent]

And so you have, you don't have a job.

I wish I got my bass guitar here.

[Abyss]

Graablick, on 16 June 2013 - 03:08 PM, said:

I wish I got my bass guitar here.

Granted, but then you left it somewhere else.

I wish it was socially acceptable to have a large whiskey at 9am in civilized Canada.