[HiddenOne]

Granted, all these arrive on the table, steam rising from the bacony tacos, beads of condensation moving down the side of the pitcher of frothy brew. Sadly, they arrive on my table instead of yours and all you can do is watch as I consume it all and belch like Sasquatch. However, you still get the check, so thanks.


I wish Abyss' lunch time wasn't so close to mine, because now I'm hungry

[Abyss]

HiddenOne, on 21 March 2013 - 03:17 PM, said:

I wish Abyss' lunch time wasn't so close to mine, because now I'm hungry

Granted. My lunch teleports from your table to mine. Now starve, you taco-thieving bastard.

I wish i hadn't started posting about tacos because now i'm really hungry.

[Spoilsport Stonny]

Abyss, on 21 March 2013 - 03:23 PM, said:

HiddenOne, on 21 March 2013 - 03:17 PM, said:

I wish Abyss' lunch time wasn't so close to mine, because now I'm hungry

Granted. My lunch teleports from your table to mine. Now starve, you taco-thieving bastard.

I wish i hadn't started posting about tacos because now i'm really hungry.

Granted. Your post subject has been changed to prolapsed anuses and the entire board, including yourself, has lost their appetites.

I wish whatever has been irritating my left eye would cut it out so I can stop struggling to see through these tears of relief.

[masan's saddle]

Fair enough, that little piece of poo from your prolapsed anus that you accidentally rubbed into your eye after an early morning bum wipe fail becomes sentient. It pulls out a flick knife and cuts out your eyes, now you can't see bugger all.

I wish nobheads from work would stop phoning me on my day off.

[Abyss]

masan, on 21 March 2013 - 05:52 PM, said:

I wish nobheads from work would stop phoning me on my day off.

Granted. As soon as you stop answering your phone on your day off.

I weish i knew wtf was going on.

[Abyss]

Miss Savagely Wishy Washy, on 22 March 2013 - 07:49 PM, said:

I wish I hadn't had this Thai deep fried bread for lunch that still gives me an upset stomach and I ordered it only because the waitress told me it was fluffy- and if something is fluffy I don't expect it to be deep fried.

Granted. Instead of the thai bread, the waitress brought you the roaches she was actually referring to as 'fluffy'. Hey, protein is better than carbs, right?

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 22 March 2013 - 07:51 PM, said:

Miss Savagely Wishy Washy, on 22 March 2013 - 07:49 PM, said:

I wish I hadn't had this Thai deep fried bread for lunch that still gives me an upset stomach and I ordered it only because the waitress told me it was fluffy- and if something is fluffy I don't expect it to be deep fried.

Granted. Instead of the thai bread, the waitress brought you the roaches she was actually referring to as 'fluffy'. Hey, protein is better than carbs, right?

I wish my all my possessions in my flat, mostly books and kitchen equipment, would pack themselves up in a tidy and orderly fashion in labelled boxes and then move themselves to wherever they need to be on the First of June.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. They move-to wherever they need to be. And they feel a compulsive, nay, deep-seated need to take themselves to the nearest bookshop and conceal themselves on different shelves, all around the shop.

I wish that there wasn't so much goddamned corporation law revision to do.

[Dolmen 2.0]

There isn't! Now its advanced corporation double law from hell! Every page is a horror slash adventure with a truck load of revised knowledge roundhouse kicking you in the face!

I wish I didn't have to mark 40 question sheets by monday afternoon.

[Abyss]

Dolmen+, on 12 May 2013 - 02:28 PM, said:

I wish I didn't have to mark 40 question sheets by monday afternoon.

Granted. You're fired.

I wish GAME OF THRONES season 3 had a twenty episode run instead of ten.

[masan's saddle]

Abyss, on 13 May 2013 - 03:18 PM, said:

I wish GAME OF THRONES season 3 had a twenty episode run instead of ten.

Granted, George Martin works really hard to make your wish come true. As a result he dies from an exhaustion induced heart attack leaving the entire project UNFINISHED.
You are universally loathed by everyone and die horribly in a bizarre accident involving a 14" statuette of Joffrey and a jar of peanut butter.


I really hope the money men decide to pick Hannibal up for a second season.

[Abyss]

masan, on 13 May 2013 - 04:57 PM, said:

I really hope the money men decide to pick Hannibal up for a second season.

Granted, but there is some confusion, and George Peppard's corpse doesn't take well to cyber-resurrection. The ensuing zombie assault on Hollywood ruins the 2013-2014 tv season.

[masan's saddle]

I wish Abyss would make a wish as his fail wish is making my wish fail.

[Abyss]

Abyss, on 13 May 2013 - 05:05 PM, said:

masan, on 13 May 2013 - 04:57 PM, said:

I really hope the money men decide to pick Hannibal up for a second season.

Granted, but there is some confusion, and George Peppard's corpse doesn't take well to cyber-resurrection. The ensuing zombie assault on Hollywood ruins the 2013-2014 tv season.

masan, on 13 May 2013 - 05:40 PM, said:

I wish Abyss would make a wish as his fail wish is making my wish fail.

Granted. I wish i had not forgotten to make a wish, acknowledging that by incorporating the corruptive response to your wish with my own omitted wish as a wish in this present post, I caused the thread to divide by zero and you headsploded.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 13 May 2013 - 06:13 PM, said:

Abyss, on 13 May 2013 - 05:05 PM, said:

masan, on 13 May 2013 - 04:57 PM, said:

I really hope the money men decide to pick Hannibal up for a second season.

Granted, but there is some confusion, and George Peppard's corpse doesn't take well to cyber-resurrection. The ensuing zombie assault on Hollywood ruins the 2013-2014 tv season.

masan, on 13 May 2013 - 05:40 PM, said:

I wish Abyss would make a wish as his fail wish is making my wish fail.

Granted. I wish i had not forgotten to make a wish, acknowledging that by incorporating the corruptive response to your wish with my own omitted wish as a wish in this present post, I caused the thread to divide by zero and you headsploded.

Granted. Or wished?

I wish Abyss would refrain from using complex mathematical operations, unless they involve imaginary numbers.

[Abyss]

Miss Savagely Wishy Washy, on 13 May 2013 - 06:58 PM, said:

Abyss, on 13 May 2013 - 06:13 PM, said:

Abyss, on 13 May 2013 - 05:05 PM, said:

masan, on 13 May 2013 - 04:57 PM, said:

I really hope the money men decide to pick Hannibal up for a second season.

Granted, but there is some confusion, and George Peppard's corpse doesn't take well to cyber-resurrection. The ensuing zombie assault on Hollywood ruins the 2013-2014 tv season.

masan, on 13 May 2013 - 05:40 PM, said:

I wish Abyss would make a wish as his fail wish is making my wish fail.

Granted. I wish i had not forgotten to make a wish, acknowledging that by incorporating the corruptive response to your wish with my own omitted wish as a wish in this present post, I caused the thread to divide by zero and you headsploded.

Granted. Or wished?

Yes.

Quote

I wish Abyss would refrain from using complex mathematical operations, unless they involve imaginary numbers.

Granted. I just divided your salary by eleventeen and mutiplied your taxe rate by kumquat squared. You owe the government twelventy-six thounsand half-hundreds, three cantalopes and your favorite kidney.

I wish all problems could be solved by random existantialism.

[masan's saddle]

Abyss, on 13 May 2013 - 07:29 PM, said:

I wish all problems could be solved by random existantialism.

They can and often are.

However due to the uniqueness and isolation of our own individual experiences in this often cruel and indifferent universe, our very existence is as unexplainable to you or I, as is the concept of string theory to a garden snail. As such in the end all we have are the choices we make and our responsibility to the consequences of our actions.

I have just hired a ninja who has a profound dislike of cats, he should be with you shortly.


I wish my boss had not just buggered off to Barbados for 2 weeks leaving me with a fuckload of work and responsibility that I really can't be arsed with.

[Baco Xtath]

Granted. He went to St. Lucia instead. And he loved it so much he's staying and you've got to take on his workload but your pay is the same. And, for some reason, it now burns when you pee and your eyes cross for twenty minutes every time you sneeze.

I wish I didn't have to hand dig the footings for my addition.

[Abyss]

Granted. Now you're homeless.

I wish Elvis was alive. Also Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Amy Winehouse. With superpowers.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Abyss, on 14 May 2013 - 03:54 AM, said:

I wish Elvis was alive. Also Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and Amy Winehouse. With superpowers.

This is an uncorruptable wish!

Now you have herpies.

I wish the herpies penalty on abyss never ends for wishing on something so awesome in a non effective wishing pool.