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Chapter 5: Gangstas vs. Disco
"Its a quorl! you great big ninny!" Laughs Raest.
"Not related to locusts, a well known pest."
Out the portal strides brood with his hammer
Recently released from the Guantanamo slammer
"Does my bum look big in this orange boiler suit?"
Rake chortles, Raest laughs, Disco gives Brood the boot.
Just to loose it in that enormous crack
Oh yeah', Raest wheezes, 'baby's got back!'
Brood falls forward, flat on his face
Too many shandies in that manky place
Disco is tense, eyeing brood up and down
Settles on the arse and begins to frown
Then from out of Brood's butt, rap music is heard
and Reast walks over, without saying a word
starts dancing like Hammer, his favorite rapper
"Cant touch this!" Raest is so bloody dapper
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
One line a day was no idle threat...mostly.
Epic Poetry - Lets get creative First Homer, Then Virgil, Followed by Milton and now...Malazanempire
#141
frookenhauer 
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Posted 29 December 2008 - 08:27 PM
souls are for wimps
#142
Terez
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Posted 29 December 2008 - 08:32 PM
Who decided on the old AABBCCDDEEFF.... rhyme scheme?
The President (2012) said:
Please proceed, Governor.
Chris Christie (2016) said:
There it is.
Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:
And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.
#143
frookenhauer
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Posted 29 December 2008 - 08:34 PM
I did it right at the beginning, its that iambic pentameter thingy that poets use 
, i.e. people that is not me. For one second I thought you were adding to the melange, don't be shy Terez
, i.e. people that is not me. For one second I thought you were adding to the melange, don't be shy Terez
souls are for wimps
#144
Terez
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Posted 29 December 2008 - 08:36 PM
Iambic pentameter is a meter and has nothing to do with rhyme scheme, and AABBCCDD... is the most juvenile rhyme scheme known to man. I'm not shy. Just a poetry snob. Just ask Macros. Oh, and most of those lines don't even give lip service to iambic pentameter...
The President (2012) said:
Please proceed, Governor.
Chris Christie (2016) said:
There it is.
Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:
And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.
#145
frookenhauer
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Posted 29 December 2008 - 08:39 PM
In that case...Must needs learn more, or not and carry on fudging it as per the norm
souls are for wimps
#146
Terez
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Posted 29 December 2008 - 08:48 PM
I tried to explain it to Macros once but he was drunk and I don't think he got it. Anyway, iambs are two-syllable bits with the stress on the second syllable. Iambic pentameter is a meter in which each line has 5 iambs, and therefore 10 syllables, with the stress on every second syllable, like this:
he LOVES to WASH his CAR on MONday NIGHTS
Not all that poetic, but it gets the point across. Some flubbing is allowed, but not too much.
I'm not really all that fond of iambic pentameter though....
he LOVES to WASH his CAR on MONday NIGHTS
Not all that poetic, but it gets the point across. Some flubbing is allowed, but not too much.
I'm not really all that fond of iambic pentameter though....
The President (2012) said:
Please proceed, Governor.
Chris Christie (2016) said:
There it is.
Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:
And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.
#147
frookenhauer
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Posted 29 December 2008 - 08:57 PM
Thats pretty much how I read it, but it is not always that easy to pull off and hence the lax attitude...anyway this is supposed to be fun, not difficult...So, you going to add your beans to the mix?
souls are for wimps
#148
Ain't_It_Just_
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Posted 30 December 2008 - 04:04 AM
Chapter 5: Gangstas vs. Disco
"Its a quorl! you great big ninny!" Laughs Raest.
"Not related to locusts, a well known pest."
Out the portal strides brood with his hammer
Recently released from the Guantanamo slammer
"Does my bum look big in this orange boiler suit?"
Rake chortles, Raest laughs, Disco gives Brood the boot.
Just to loose it in that enormous crack
Oh yeah', Raest wheezes, 'baby's got back!'
Brood falls forward, flat on his face
Too many shandies in that manky place
Disco is tense, eyeing brood up and down
Settles on the arse and begins to frown
Then from out of Brood's butt, rap music is heard
and Reast walks over, without saying a word
starts dancing like Hammer, his favorite rapper
"Cant touch this!" Raest is so bloody dapper
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car (I suggest we start anew)
"Its a quorl! you great big ninny!" Laughs Raest.
"Not related to locusts, a well known pest."
Out the portal strides brood with his hammer
Recently released from the Guantanamo slammer
"Does my bum look big in this orange boiler suit?"
Rake chortles, Raest laughs, Disco gives Brood the boot.
Just to loose it in that enormous crack
Oh yeah', Raest wheezes, 'baby's got back!'
Brood falls forward, flat on his face
Too many shandies in that manky place
Disco is tense, eyeing brood up and down
Settles on the arse and begins to frown
Then from out of Brood's butt, rap music is heard
and Reast walks over, without saying a word
starts dancing like Hammer, his favorite rapper
"Cant touch this!" Raest is so bloody dapper
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car (I suggest we start anew)
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
#149
Bent
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Posted 30 December 2008 - 05:48 PM
Chapter 5: Gangstas vs. Disco
"Its a quorl! you great big ninny!" Laughs Raest.
"Not related to locusts, a well known pest."
Out the portal strides brood with his hammer
Recently released from the Guantanamo slammer
"Does my bum look big in this orange boiler suit?"
Rake chortles, Raest laughs, Disco gives Brood the boot.
Just to loose it in that enormous crack
Oh yeah', Raest wheezes, 'baby's got back!'
Brood falls forward, flat on his face
Too many shandies in that manky place
Disco is tense, eyeing brood up and down
Settles on the arse and begins to frown
Then from out of Brood's butt, rap music is heard
and Reast walks over, without saying a word
starts dancing like Hammer, his favorite rapper
"Cant touch this!" Raest is so bloody dapper
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
~Is this okay?
"Its a quorl! you great big ninny!" Laughs Raest.
"Not related to locusts, a well known pest."
Out the portal strides brood with his hammer
Recently released from the Guantanamo slammer
"Does my bum look big in this orange boiler suit?"
Rake chortles, Raest laughs, Disco gives Brood the boot.
Just to loose it in that enormous crack
Oh yeah', Raest wheezes, 'baby's got back!'
Brood falls forward, flat on his face
Too many shandies in that manky place
Disco is tense, eyeing brood up and down
Settles on the arse and begins to frown
Then from out of Brood's butt, rap music is heard
and Reast walks over, without saying a word
starts dancing like Hammer, his favorite rapper
"Cant touch this!" Raest is so bloody dapper
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
~Is this okay?
THIS IS HOW I ROLL BITCHES!!!
#150
frookenhauer
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Posted 30 December 2008 - 08:50 PM
But of course 
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
souls are for wimps
#151
Sparkimus
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Posted 31 December 2008 - 12:14 AM
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
QUOTE (Stalker @ Jan 23 2009, 01:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So last night I was walking downtown for some pizza at like 1am with some friends of mine,
and someone said, "I'm so hungry I could eat a whole pizza."
I said, "I bet I could eat 100 pizzas," and no one understood me. I was sad.
and someone said, "I'm so hungry I could eat a whole pizza."
I said, "I bet I could eat 100 pizzas," and no one understood me. I was sad.
#152
Ain't_It_Just_
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- Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
- The AIJman cometh
Posted 31 December 2008 - 09:09 AM
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
#153
Bent
- Keep Rolling...
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- Group: High House Mafia
- Posts: 571
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- Interests:POOP!
Posted 31 December 2008 - 12:15 PM
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
THIS IS HOW I ROLL BITCHES!!!
#154
frookenhauer
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Interests:Women
Money
AI
Writing
Posted 31 December 2008 - 08:14 PM
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra! <-(I Know
)
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra! <-(I Know
)
This post has been edited by frookenhauer: 31 December 2008 - 08:14 PM
souls are for wimps
#155
Terez
- High Analyst of TQB
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- Group: Team Quick Ben
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- Interests:WWQBD?
- WoT Fangirl, Rank Traitor
Posted 31 December 2008 - 11:32 PM
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra! <-(I Know smile.gif )
"Proceed with the removal of the vermin!"
(see there? I used perfect iambic pentameter except for the extra syllable I added at the end to conform to the rhyme, and also changed your rhyme scheme to something more mature)
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra! <-(I Know smile.gif )
"Proceed with the removal of the vermin!"
(see there? I used perfect iambic pentameter except for the extra syllable I added at the end to conform to the rhyme, and also changed your rhyme scheme to something more mature)
This post has been edited by Terez: 31 December 2008 - 11:38 PM
The President (2012) said:
Please proceed, Governor.
Chris Christie (2016) said:
There it is.
Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:
And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.
#156
Ain't_It_Just_
- The Recidivist
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- Group: LHTEC
- Posts: 2,371
- Joined: 17-January 08
- Location:Oz
- Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
- The AIJman cometh
Posted 01 January 2009 - 10:30 AM
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra! <-(I Know smile.gif )
"Proceed with the removal of the vermin!"
Steve McQueen arrives, disguised as Tomad Sengar
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra! <-(I Know smile.gif )
"Proceed with the removal of the vermin!"
Steve McQueen arrives, disguised as Tomad Sengar
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
#157
frookenhauer
- Mortal Sword
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Interests:Women
Money
AI
Writing
Posted 01 January 2009 - 10:52 PM
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra!
"Proceed with the removal of the vermin!"
Steve McQueen arrives, disguised as Tomad Sengar
Parks his Harley on the roof of Broods car
Is one allowed an extra syllable in iambification, Terez?
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra!
"Proceed with the removal of the vermin!"
Steve McQueen arrives, disguised as Tomad Sengar
Parks his Harley on the roof of Broods car
Is one allowed an extra syllable in iambification, Terez?
souls are for wimps
#158
Ain't_It_Just_
- The Recidivist
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- Group: LHTEC
- Posts: 2,371
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- Location:Oz
- Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
- The AIJman cometh
Posted 02 January 2009 - 12:44 AM
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra!
"Proceed with the removal of the vermin!"
Steve McQueen arrives, disguised as Tomad Sengar
Parks his Harley on the roof of Broods car
Draws his ping pong paddle and proceeds to kick ass
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra!
"Proceed with the removal of the vermin!"
Steve McQueen arrives, disguised as Tomad Sengar
Parks his Harley on the roof of Broods car
Draws his ping pong paddle and proceeds to kick ass
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
#159
frookenhauer
- Mortal Sword
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- Group: Malaz Regular
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Interests:Women
Money
AI
Writing
Posted 02 January 2009 - 12:58 AM
[quote name='Ain't_It_Just_' date='Jan 2 2009, 12:44 AM' post='490951']
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra!
"Proceed with the removal of the vermin!"
Steve McQueen arrives, disguised as Tomad Sengar
Parks his Harley on the roof of Broods car
Draws his ping pong paddle and proceeds to kick ass
With ping pong paddles? Boy has he got class!
Chapter 6: A Miracle on Malazan Street
Sleigh bells ring are you listening, Burns awake...
Crippled God-Santa loathes marble cake
Prefers sticky toffee pudding instead
Better get some before he makes you dead
Brood is boozing, tries driving his car
Slams into a pole, in front of a bar
Lights up a cigar, soon all is ablaze
Onlookers don't help thinking he's there to amaze
Red Blades ride in to help, looking rather German
"Nazi Bastards!" screamed Brood, his guts had started squirmin'
"Links, rechts! Links, rechts!" Marching is wonderbra!
"Proceed with the removal of the vermin!"
Steve McQueen arrives, disguised as Tomad Sengar
Parks his Harley on the roof of Broods car
Draws his ping pong paddle and proceeds to kick ass
With ping pong paddles? Boy has he got class!
souls are for wimps
#160
Ain't_It_Just_
- The Recidivist
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- Group: LHTEC
- Posts: 2,371
- Joined: 17-January 08
- Location:Oz
- Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
- The AIJman cometh
Posted 02 January 2009 - 11:22 AM
New one?
Chapter 7: Pormqual's Poker Game
In K'rul's Bar, Draconus hold a straight flush
Chapter 7: Pormqual's Poker Game
In K'rul's Bar, Draconus hold a straight flush
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
