[QuickTidal]

Tiste Simeon, on 06 August 2025 - 06:07 PM, said:

Sounds like the ball in his court now QT. You owned up to your mistake and tried to make it good and he acted like a petulant child about it. I wouldn't try to go after him or further explain yourself now. That would just further solidify the awkwardness and not help the situation. Some people are like that. Fwiw while the original intent was likely genuine, and he possibly was a bit hurt by your reaction, the way he has dealt with it since kind of justifies how you dealt with it at the time.

I agree. I don't interact with him now other than for work, or saying hi in the hallways. But I was curious if anyone felt I missed anything that would result in him being like this half a year later.

thanks man.

[Tiste Simeon]

Yeah I don't think so. Admittedly your initial response was not great and I can understand someone getting a bit put out by it. But a normal grown up would get over it even without you then owning it, apologising and trying to make amends.

Some people like to be the victim is all I can think of.

[amphibian]

I don't know the dynamics of the workplace or the work friendship beyond that post, so keep that in mind as you read the following.

For three years or so, this guy was coming over and chatting with you, where you would respond and keep it genial - even with the occasional ick story or talk from him. Then he offers you his number and help when you move to the town he's in, which he knows because you've told him.

Your reaction of not wanting to do that was fine. The response of the weird joke took it from a blunt turn down to something stranger. The apology was fine - but did not come with a "sure, I will be friends with you outside work." I also consider that this guy is the guy who would say the ick stuff and so on.

The ice cold response after is probably the best this particular guy can do. And you do miss the genial talk side, otherwise the story would have been told differently.

Maybe there's room for the finding of an actual work friend who is also an outside friend - although it isn't going to be him for the ick stuff and so on - someday. Good luck.