[Maark Abbott]

amphibian, on 09 March 2023 - 01:37 PM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 11:27 AM, said:

Said it was due to not engaging with the children enough - which is a bit difficult at a SEN school after only five days of knowing them because each kid will take longer to get a feel for.

We're British working class, what is a 'financial cushion'? In seriousness we'll get by but it's another month of tins and bright yellow packaging.

She's looking into other stuff today but yeah this is pretty unpleasant news.

It might be worth exploring further and gently what's happening at the schools because fine tuning the initial approach can really help. Hesitancy is maybe not the whole story.

Special education schools are usually hungry for people to fill the spots, so I'm sure she'll have another bite at the apple. Good luck to you.

It might be a side effect of the antipsychotics because she is what I'd described as a bit subdued right now - she's not quite as vivacious as she was before the index incident. Add to that nerves, being less confident due to what happened and I think maybe education isn't the thing for her right now. She'll get there, it's just gonna be tight in the meantime, at least unless I can get a more stable income from streaming as well.

[Cause]

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 02:15 PM, said:

amphibian, on 09 March 2023 - 01:37 PM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 11:27 AM, said:

Said it was due to not engaging with the children enough - which is a bit difficult at a SEN school after only five days of knowing them because each kid will take longer to get a feel for.

We're British working class, what is a 'financial cushion'? In seriousness we'll get by but it's another month of tins and bright yellow packaging.

She's looking into other stuff today but yeah this is pretty unpleasant news.

It might be worth exploring further and gently what's happening at the schools because fine tuning the initial approach can really help. Hesitancy is maybe not the whole story.

Special education schools are usually hungry for people to fill the spots, so I'm sure she'll have another bite at the apple. Good luck to you.

It might be a side effect of the antipsychotics because she is what I'd described as a bit subdued right now - she's not quite as vivacious as she was before the index incident. Add to that nerves, being less confident due to what happened and I think maybe education isn't the thing for her right now. She'll get there, it's just gonna be tight in the meantime, at least unless I can get a more stable income from streaming as well.

Are there other agencies she can try. How are they describing your wife when they get her the gigs. If they are tarring your wife with a bad reputation from the get go it may explain why they are so fast to pass judgement. What kind of details do schools get about your wives past perfromance. A few recent cancelations may be priming people to be looking for problems right away.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Cause, on 09 March 2023 - 04:22 PM, said:

Are there other agencies she can try. How are they describing your wife when they get her the gigs. If they are tarring your wife with a bad reputation from the get go it may explain why they are so fast to pass judgement. What kind of details do schools get about your wives past perfromance. A few recent cancelations may be priming people to be looking for problems right away.

Wonder if they have access to her medical history, or other indicators of mental health issues... and whether discrimination on that basis is legal in the UK....

[Maark Abbott]

Cause, on 09 March 2023 - 04:22 PM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 02:15 PM, said:

amphibian, on 09 March 2023 - 01:37 PM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 11:27 AM, said:

Said it was due to not engaging with the children enough - which is a bit difficult at a SEN school after only five days of knowing them because each kid will take longer to get a feel for.

We're British working class, what is a 'financial cushion'? In seriousness we'll get by but it's another month of tins and bright yellow packaging.

She's looking into other stuff today but yeah this is pretty unpleasant news.

It might be worth exploring further and gently what's happening at the schools because fine tuning the initial approach can really help. Hesitancy is maybe not the whole story.

Special education schools are usually hungry for people to fill the spots, so I'm sure she'll have another bite at the apple. Good luck to you.

It might be a side effect of the antipsychotics because she is what I'd described as a bit subdued right now - she's not quite as vivacious as she was before the index incident. Add to that nerves, being less confident due to what happened and I think maybe education isn't the thing for her right now. She'll get there, it's just gonna be tight in the meantime, at least unless I can get a more stable income from streaming as well.

Are there other agencies she can try. How are they describing your wife when they get her the gigs. If they are tarring your wife with a bad reputation from the get go it may explain why they are so fast to pass judgement. What kind of details do schools get about your wives past perfromance. A few recent cancelations may be priming people to be looking for problems right away.

There's other agencies, but it's basically a case of the agency put her into the role. Until December she was working in residential care but due to physical health issues caused by that she can't go back to that sector. I dunno. She needs something that's just full time and stable, really.

Azath Vitr (D, on 09 March 2023 - 04:25 PM, said:

Cause, on 09 March 2023 - 04:22 PM, said:

Are there other agencies she can try. How are they describing your wife when they get her the gigs. If they are tarring your wife with a bad reputation from the get go it may explain why they are so fast to pass judgement. What kind of details do schools get about your wives past perfromance. A few recent cancelations may be priming people to be looking for problems right away.

Wonder if they have access to her medical history, or other indicators of mental health issues... and whether discrimination on that basis is legal in the UK....

It is not, and it would represent a gross breach of her personal data.

[Gothos]

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 11:27 AM, said:

We're British working class, what is a 'financial cushion'? In seriousness we'll get by but it's another month of tins and bright yellow packaging.

A financial cushion is what money you squirrel away when times are OK for whenever shit hits the fan, that kind of thing
Took a look at disposable income rankings and it looks like UK's not as far ahead of us as I thought, and you've got an economic downturn ahead of you that's actually a little scary. While I do feel sorry for you lot for being stuck with the brexiters in their terrible choices, some part of me kind of can't wait for hosting english immigrant waiters, construction workers, cooks, delivery guys, plumbers, electricians, and making jokes about how bad they speak the local language, then complain how they're coming to take our jobs and unemployment benefits

My petty revanchism aside, I wish you and your wife good luck.

[champ]

QuickTidal, on 09 March 2023 - 01:06 PM, said:

champ, on 09 March 2023 - 11:57 AM, said:

QuickTidal, on 07 March 2023 - 02:49 PM, said:

Close friend from my youth was diagnosed with a rare cancer and she was fighting it, but has now been placed in hospice care as the treatments were not working. Shit sucks. Fuck Cancer.

Lady I've worked with for the last 10 years at two different companies just found out she has breast cancer, finds out today at what stage. Cruel world sometimes...

Man, I'm sorry to hear that. Cancer really does fucking suck. Hope she's able to best it.

Sorry for your friend too, QT, a real sad situation.

amphibian, on 09 March 2023 - 01:34 PM, said:

champ, on 09 March 2023 - 11:57 AM, said:

QuickTidal, on 07 March 2023 - 02:49 PM, said:

Close friend from my youth was diagnosed with a rare cancer and she was fighting it, but has now been placed in hospice care as the treatments were not working. Shit sucks. Fuck Cancer.

Lady I've worked with for the last 10 years at two different companies just found out she has breast cancer, finds out today at what stage. Cruel world sometimes...

I'm sorry that she had to find out in different sessions and will have to deal with this.

Cheers guys, it's the best bad news I guess, grade 2 breast cancer so it is treatable and they have caught it in time. For the situation it is a relief...


I swear sometimes there is some fucker out there listening to human conversation thinking right, I'll give you some of that...


A few week ago before this situation happened, we were talking at work about life. She is married with two children, one has special needs who doesn't mentally develop and she was saying heaven forbid anything ever happens to her... her husband is a top guy but struggles with organisation and managing the kids and without her she has no idea what he would do or how he would cope, she is the bread winner etc... just something we were talking about for a while, one of those topics you know...


Then coming back to last week where she tells me about the cancer, first thing she said after was referring to the conversation we'd had... what a fucker...

[Mezla PigDog]

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 02:15 PM, said:

amphibian, on 09 March 2023 - 01:37 PM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 11:27 AM, said:

Said it was due to not engaging with the children enough - which is a bit difficult at a SEN school after only five days of knowing them because each kid will take longer to get a feel for.

We're British working class, what is a 'financial cushion'? In seriousness we'll get by but it's another month of tins and bright yellow packaging.

She's looking into other stuff today but yeah this is pretty unpleasant news.

It might be worth exploring further and gently what's happening at the schools because fine tuning the initial approach can really help. Hesitancy is maybe not the whole story.

Special education schools are usually hungry for people to fill the spots, so I'm sure she'll have another bite at the apple. Good luck to you.

It might be a side effect of the antipsychotics because she is what I'd described as a bit subdued right now - she's not quite as vivacious as she was before the index incident. Add to that nerves, being less confident due to what happened and I think maybe education isn't the thing for her right now. She'll get there, it's just gonna be tight in the meantime, at least unless I can get a more stable income from streaming as well.

I was going to say - being thrown into that after what has happened and being on new medication. She needs to cut herself some slack. She's doing great to even put herself out there. Agency work is really harsh when it isn't going well.

[Maark Abbott]

Gothos, on 09 March 2023 - 05:08 PM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 11:27 AM, said:

We're British working class, what is a 'financial cushion'? In seriousness we'll get by but it's another month of tins and bright yellow packaging.

A financial cushion is what money you squirrel away when times are OK for whenever shit hits the fan, that kind of thing
Took a look at disposable income rankings and it looks like UK's not as far ahead of us as I thought, and you've got an economic downturn ahead of you that's actually a little scary. While I do feel sorry for you lot for being stuck with the brexiters in their terrible choices, some part of me kind of can't wait for hosting english immigrant waiters, construction workers, cooks, delivery guys, plumbers, electricians, and making jokes about how bad they speak the local language, then complain how they're coming to take our jobs and unemployment benefits

My petty revanchism aside, I wish you and your wife good luck.

Honestly people think of the UK as being generally wealthy but it's only that way due to averages, we have an extreme poverty divide and I am firmly underneath that line. What we need to do basically is eat the rich, seize the means and THEN we get our sunlit uplands.

[Maark Abbott]

Mezla PigDog, on 09 March 2023 - 08:19 PM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 02:15 PM, said:

amphibian, on 09 March 2023 - 01:37 PM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 09 March 2023 - 11:27 AM, said:

Said it was due to not engaging with the children enough - which is a bit difficult at a SEN school after only five days of knowing them because each kid will take longer to get a feel for.

We're British working class, what is a 'financial cushion'? In seriousness we'll get by but it's another month of tins and bright yellow packaging.

She's looking into other stuff today but yeah this is pretty unpleasant news.

It might be worth exploring further and gently what's happening at the schools because fine tuning the initial approach can really help. Hesitancy is maybe not the whole story.

Special education schools are usually hungry for people to fill the spots, so I'm sure she'll have another bite at the apple. Good luck to you.

It might be a side effect of the antipsychotics because she is what I'd described as a bit subdued right now - she's not quite as vivacious as she was before the index incident. Add to that nerves, being less confident due to what happened and I think maybe education isn't the thing for her right now. She'll get there, it's just gonna be tight in the meantime, at least unless I can get a more stable income from streaming as well.

I was going to say - being thrown into that after what has happened and being on new medication. She needs to cut herself some slack. She's doing great to even put herself out there. Agency work is really harsh when it isn't going well.

She's got her chin up, spending today jobhunting so she's not taken it as badly as last time.

Oh and the snow can fuck off.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

champ, on 09 March 2023 - 08:12 PM, said:

Cheers guys, it's the best bad news I guess, grade 2 breast cancer so it is treatable and they have caught it in time. For the situation it is a relief...


I swear sometimes there is some fucker out there listening to human conversation thinking right, I'll give you some of that...


A few week ago before this situation happened, we were talking at work about life. She is married with two children, one has special needs who doesn't mentally develop and she was saying heaven forbid anything ever happens to her... her husband is a top guy but struggles with organisation and managing the kids and without her she has no idea what he would do or how he would cope, she is the bread winner etc... just something we were talking about for a while, one of those topics you know...


Then coming back to last week where she tells me about the cancer, first thing she said after was referring to the conversation we'd had... what a fucker...

Fingers crossed for successful treatment and a smooth recovery for your friend.

[QuickTidal]

champ, on 09 March 2023 - 08:12 PM, said:

Cheers guys, it's the best bad news I guess, grade 2 breast cancer so it is treatable and they have caught it in time. For the situation it is a relief...

Oh thank gods. Always good to see treatable. Here's hoping she kicks its ass!

[Maark Abbott]

Just when I thought things couldn't get much worse, car has absolutely fucked it on the MOT to the point she's not viable to salvage from it - so despite having two payments left to Halfords for the repairs she had done when I came off the road a few weeks back, we're gonna have to sorn and scrap her.

The prospect of being without a car really drives home that delicious poverty. I also now have no way to get to the office for work (I WFH but if I did need to go to the office it's about a 90 minute bus trek each way for someone with incredibly severe travel sickness, so totally unsuitable) which is likely to cause issues as well. Great.

[QuickTidal]

Maark Abbott, on 10 March 2023 - 12:31 PM, said:

Just when I thought things couldn't get much worse, car has absolutely fucked it on the MOT to the point she's not viable to salvage from it - so despite having two payments left to Halfords for the repairs she had done when I came off the road a few weeks back, we're gonna have to sorn and scrap her.

The prospect of being without a car really drives home that delicious poverty. I also now have no way to get to the office for work (I WFH but if I did need to go to the office it's about a 90 minute bus trek each way for someone with incredibly severe travel sickness, so totally unsuitable) which is likely to cause issues as well. Great.

Brutal. Sorry to hear it. RIP Noel.

Also, I feel you on the transit thing...our transit in Ontario is middling at best, and it takes me between 1hr15min to get to and from work every day, or on bad days 90min...I got used to it, but on the days when I get a psychopath bus driver I get off the bus feeling like I'm gonna yack.

[Gothos]

Maark Abbott, on 10 March 2023 - 08:58 AM, said:

Honestly people think of the UK as being generally wealthy but it's only that way due to averages, we have an extreme poverty divide and I am firmly underneath that line. What we need to do basically is eat the rich, seize the means and THEN we get our sunlit uplands.

The only thing you'll get doing that is everyone (except the new elite) being poorer that you are now
From my short time in the UK in the past, and from every visit to friends there since, it's always struck me just how affordable everything is compared to here, especially close to minimum wage, the exceptions being transportation and housing, which are actually comparable. Do you have many people working for less than minimum wage?

Edit: that said, the UK's been on a downturn for quite a while, and it's about to get much worse. And while I admit I may sound combative here, I just hope you can see the upside that there's much worse countries out there to be poor in. Just saying.

This post has been edited by Gothos: 10 March 2023 - 01:24 PM

[Maark Abbott]

Gothos, on 10 March 2023 - 01:21 PM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 10 March 2023 - 08:58 AM, said:

Honestly people think of the UK as being generally wealthy but it's only that way due to averages, we have an extreme poverty divide and I am firmly underneath that line. What we need to do basically is eat the rich, seize the means and THEN we get our sunlit uplands.

The only thing you'll get doing that is everyone (except the new elite) being poorer that you are now
From my short time in the UK in the past, and from every visit to friends there since, it's always struck me just how affordable everything is compared to here, especially close to minimum wage, the exceptions being transportation and housing, which are actually comparable. Do you have many people working for less than minimum wage?

Edit: that said, the UK's been on a downturn for quite a while, and it's about to get much worse. And while I admit I may sound combative here, I just hope you can see the upside that there's much worse countries out there to be poor in. Just saying.

It's more a case that the minimum wage isn't enough by far to do more but scrape by, and barely at that. Cos of utilities is sky-high, food has increased sharply recently. Minimum wage is not close to a living wage, and the government's idea on what a living wage should be is quite a ways off of the mark.

It's very much a country for the haves, and a hell for the have-nots. It's really no comfort to know there are other countries things would be worse in when I'm trying to run a house on 45% of our usual income and worrying about how we're going to last through the next month. There is no upside to this. None at all.

[Gothos]

Ok, gotcha

[Maark Abbott]

I'm quite uncomfortable that you find my being in poverty to be a smiling matter tbh.

[Morgoth]

Yeah, I don't really get what you're trying to achieve here, Gothos. You're acting needlessly dismissive and assholish towards Maark's difficult situation.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Gothos, on 10 March 2023 - 01:21 PM, said:

And while I admit I may sound combative here, I just hope you can see the upside that there's much worse countries out there to be poor in. Just saying.

Yes, you do sound combative. Needlessly so.

Everyone's hard is hard. Maark's in a difficult situation and there being worse places in the world for him to be in that difficult situation is a strange stance to take in response to him.

[Maark Abbott]

Thanks both.

We don't strictly -need- a car but wife's mum lives in Thurnscoe (a good way away), and lacks mobility, so we're generally able to ferry her to brother-in-law's care home, but without us having a car she can't get there.

The one plus is it's spurring wife to jobhunt harder, but this reduces our overall mobility and general ability to do / get stuff, and it also means that until it's sorted I am cut off from visiting family anywhere.