A friend made a seemingly harmless comment which for some reason didn't sit right with me. I sent them a message asking if everything was okay and got a whole lot of unexpected and concerning insight into their relationship.
I'm now in a situation where I don't know how concerned to be. It's one of those situations that isn't clearly abusive ie physically abusive, but it's also obviously not healthy either. But outwardly you wouldn't know there were any issues.
My friend kept making excuses and minimising their partner's actions and questioning if things were really as bad as they thought or if it was mostly in their head. The more we spoke the more it became clear that they had been told that they were overreacting/were confused/didn't hear/see what they thought they did etc so often that they had started questioning their own mind. I stated some things that they had mentioned that couldn't have been made up and showed them that things weren't in their head and that they were bad and that they shouldn't second guess themselves.
I did my best to give practical advice and suggestions for things to try and/or say whilst simultaneously reinforcing that the behaviour they were concerned about *isn't* normal or acceptable and that they had every right to be upset/concerned. I also mentioned that I felt they had become apathetic over time because I myself would have been downright furious about certain things.
Beyond making it clear I am there for them, I'm not sure what else to do. Plus, everything was told in confidence so I can't discuss it with friends/mutual friends. I'm not even sure if I should be posting about it here but it's been really weighing on me and stopping me from sleeping.
This post has been edited by Loki: 08 February 2017 - 04:57 PM
Wry, on 29 February 2012 - 10:50 AM, said:
And you're not complaining, you're criticizing. It's a side-effect of being better than everyone else, I get it sometimes too.
~TQB~