![:p](https://forum.malazanempire.com/public/style_emoticons/Malazan/wallbash.gif)
After much searching, I ended up finding a place that offered to replace my completely shattered screen with one of their "less broken" ones.
So instead of having a completely destroyed screen, I now have a single crack on my screen. And a free screen protector from a Samsung (because there's no BlackBerry ones, obv).
So I'm 50 bucks poorer for having a less broken screen, a screen protector, a more functional phone (now my eyes don't hurt trying to look at stuff on screen between the cracks), and potentially having made it a less attractive prospect to thieves. Yes, I'm trying hard to find some positives in this clusterfuck of terrible luck.