Day at work went pretty good; a lot quieter than yesterday, which went absolutely nuts after my first break at 1pm. However, we got a visit from top management this evening. And I mean like...my manager's boss's boss and HIS boss. It doesn't get much higher after that except "CEO". Normally you get graced with their presence for a brief moment and then they're gone, you just try not to stuff up too badly while they're there.
Well. This week I'm filling in for someone on annual leave (in fact, my new job is pretty much "do regular job until someone is away, then do their job!"). It's a full day, though the first couple of hours are basically dead time and mid-week even the busy time is fairly quiet. Anyway. So here I am, minding my own business doing the job and about to be done with that part of work for the last couple of hours when my replacements take over and I go do other, easier stuff. Next thing I know, I've got my hands full with extra work that arrived early, and I can hear the esteemed guests getting a blow-by-blow explanation of what I'm doing from the informal office space above my head.
Now, I spend 90% of my time at work under security cameras; I'm used to being watched. But hearing the boss of my boss describing what I'm doing and why I'm doing it is a bit much. Hey, that's all good, I can cope with that for five min- oh, good, my backup is here! First thing my backup (who arrives at this time every day and does this as her permanent job) is find a problem with something we're taking in and promptly...
asks me what to do about it.
Loudly. Apparently unaware that MANAGEMENT with extra emphasis is watching this closely. YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING ME GODDAMMIT?!??! So I have to stop what I'm doing, go and confirm what is wrong, then tell her what to do about it. She doesn't entirely understand what I want her to write on the paperwork so I do it for her, sign it, and then start to head back to my own stuff. Well, forgot to sign the second copy, that's my fault, but WHY ARE YOU NOW ASKING ME WHETHER WE NEED TO DO X WITH IT AS WELL?!?! OHGOD. Tell her what to do, again, and go back to my original work.
You would think my torment ended there. Oh, no. She goes up the other end because it gets marginally quieter and the cavalry arrive- except 'the cavalry' in this case are our two most inexperienced/useless people, barring the brand-new recruit who started on Monday. I'm about five minutes from heading up the other end and being free, but MANAGEMENT extra emphasis decided about five minutes before to come downstairs and watch me from five feet away. While getting running commentary. Including my manager's boss fixing something for me - it didn't really need it, but best to just nod and agree seeing as her logic was sound, even if the issue wasn't really an issue - and now we've gotten busy again, and you've got me, THE TEMP, being the most experienced person in sight.
So I did what any far-too-nice and considerate workmate would do, and stayed there for an extra twenty minutes almost literally handholding my two "regular" colleagues. Literally having to give them instructions on how to do THEIR FREAKING JOB. With MANAGEMENT extra emphasis watching and talking about everything we were doing.
Of course, being the multi-tasking GOD I am, I managed to talk to MANAGEMENT, answer their questions, do the regular work, get out the special work and prepare it and hand it over, while also guiding, helping, saving and generally overseeing the other two, and making it look effortless enough that I got a compliment from the top executive present.
BUT HOLY FUCK. Why do I know how to do these people's jobs better than they do? And why do I take it upon myself to save them (and our department's image, granted) from themselves? (They actually didn't recognize the guests; apparently they hadn't been told these guys were showing up, and also don't recognize their top management...goes to show how often we get visits, huh?)
Oh yeah, and my team leader drops by once the MANAGEMENT contingent has moved on, and asks me "What are you supposed to be doing now?"

Luckily he and I get on pretty well, so I just gave him a sarcastic response and explained later, but still. *sigh*
Today was supposed to be my QUIET DAY, dammit!
/end rant.