[QuickTidal]

Tiste Simeon, on 05 February 2026 - 03:02 PM, said:

Try having twins QT haha literally everything is split but it matters not. Sometimes we get two of the same thing to pre-empt any arguments but nope that's not good enough they both want the same one despite the fact that each one is identical to the other.

I feel your pain !

Right?! it's insane. They become little Lawyers analyzing every thing they get for how close it is to what their sibling got, and then calling objection the minute something is different.

[Macros]

Man, if we ever have kids they will not like Dad.

I just would not tolerate that nonsense. You got cake.

You ate cake.

This conversation is over.

( I say this fully aware I have no kids and we have rapidly gone from dog is not allowed in the bedroom to dog now gets weekend morning cuddles, but I will be the mean parents who does not tolerate it I say!!!)

[QuickTidal]

Macros, on 05 February 2026 - 04:08 PM, said:

Man, if we ever have kids they will not like Dad.

I just would not tolerate that nonsense. You got cake.

You ate cake.

This conversation is over.

( I say this fully aware I have no kids and we have rapidly gone from dog is not allowed in the bedroom to dog now gets weekend morning cuddles, but I will be the mean parents who does not tolerate it I say!!!)

I should be clear, most times when I've said no (and coordinated with my wife to stand firm; which the kids know and will often rush to the other parent to get a different more likeable answer) we can do so. But every now and again it doesn't work perfectly (in this case it was them dividing and conquering with my wife offering up half her piece to the kids who didn't need more cake on a third night), so disaster occurs.

But yeah, I come from the type of home that was "You get what you get and you don't get upset" so we try to maintain that...but yeah it's hard sometimes.

Like when my son came down sobbing to me...my heart lurched as I hate seeing my kids upset about anything....even when it's a selfish cry over his sister cutting the piece wrong...my instinct is still to hug him and tell him its okay.

[Cause]

I can only imagine the frustration but the 'nonsense' in this case is how kids learn. They cant express themselves well or necessarily even understand their feelings and this is part of growing up. Fighting over the bigger cake piece is learning about boundaries, fairness, fighting over who is loved more (neither is but the anxiety is real). The cake even though they may not have baked it or bought is nevertheless in their minds symbolic of you getting what they think you deserve, to be happy on your birthday, and them showing you love. They are upset you didn't get it and are demanding you get new cake is them expressing remorse for ruining it for you. It comes out bratty and like the cake is the big deal and yes I am sure part of it is just wanting a treat but there is a lot more going on.

Anyway that's just my two cents as someone without kids. I look back with Horror that little Cause would ask his dad for his litle hotel or airplane travel chocolate first thing when he got back from a work trip. I wanted the chocolate but his remembering the small gift was what I really wanted. It meant he thought of me as I was home alone bothering my mom every night asking him when would he be back because I missed him. My dad didnt see me the previous week though, he would have just seen me asking for a gift the moment he would come home.

This post has been edited by Cause: Today, 05:12 PM

[QuickTidal]

Oh 100% accurate. In fact the thing that I took from this most was that BOTH kids had enough empathy on display that even while fighting to get something for themselves, they were devastated that I might not get cake on my own birthday.

This tells me we are doing something right in raising them.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

QuickTidal, on 05 February 2026 - 02:12 PM, said:

But my wife had had enough of the whining and wheedling and arguing and so she took everyone's cake pieces (including mine) and tossed them all in the garbage.

Well this created an even worse uproar. My 9 year old started SOBBING uncontrollably that I would not get a piece of my own cake now and my 7 year old son opened his mouth and screamed at my wife with a demonic voice how evil she was for the fact that I would not get a piece of my own cake.

I came upstairs again at this point and tried to explain that it didn't matter to me, and cake is not as important to me as it must be to them...but both demanded my wife now buy me a NEW cake so that I could have a piece.

There was a tentative agreement that something would happen, but nothing concrete. I don't know if another cake will be bought.

I don't even really want any cake...I'm not a huge cake person. I'll eat it occasionally, but I don't mind not having any. I was happy the initial night to not have any and watch everyone else enjoy...the only reason I said no on the third night was so my kids didn't eat sugary cake three nights running.

They're demanding a whole new birthday cake just so you can have one piece? And they probably realize that you're not a huge cake person and you and your wife probably won't want to eat the whole cake yourselves?

I don't think they're consciously plotting to get more cake for themselves, but it's an all-too-human tendency to rationalize desires with moral justifications, or to fixate on possible moral justifications for those desires.

[worry]

There has to be a way to combine a "You get what you get and you don't get upset" philosophy with an all-cake diet.