[Abyss]

Tiste Simeon, on 27 January 2026 - 08:07 PM, said:

...but prepared to stand your ground. The comments he made on the phone make me think he is going to cause drama regardless of what you do. Like I said. Not planning on starting anything but being prepared for something to be started is the best advice I can give...

I find a blank stare and refusal to engage is usually effective. If they're the kind to push, a nice chill 'nah, not gonna play' is useful. People like what QT is describing usually want you to argue w them. Never give them what they want. It's not an argument you can ever win, they know you won't agree w them, the rest is wasted energy and oxygen.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

I'm sorry you have to waste a holiday with him, QT.

I can only echo what others have said above, refusal to "play" might be the best option to avoid as much nonsense as possible, but if he won't accept the refusal then I'd take yourself out of the room/go out for a bit etc. If you've tried all that and he still won't leave it, then I don't think you should have to keep your opinion to yourself to keep the peace then.

"I don't want to talk about this" is how Mr NAB deal with my dad when he's being ridiculous. It doesn't always work, but it works more often than it doesn't in terms of preserving some sanity.

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 28 January 2026 - 08:37 AM

[Macros]

He doesn't pay??
What kind of bulkshit is that???


Ive never understood that 'their money my money' in a marriage or long term relationship.

Its a partnership, one pot of money

[Maark Abbott]

car is in the garage (something has hit the back driver side bumper). seems like probably a bicycle slipped on ice and then scraped into it, but there's other stuff that this has caused to crop up so I'm getting her checked to be safe she's roadworthy.

[Tiste Simeon]

Macros, on 28 January 2026 - 07:46 AM, said:

He doesn't pay??
What kind of bulkshit is that???


Ive never understood that 'their money my money' in a marriage or long term relationship.

Its a partnership, one pot of money

100% my wife doesn't have a paying job (tradwife life anybody? 😂) but we only have one bank account. She works very hard but is not in paid employment. This is her decision and thankfully I make enough for us to live comfortably. We work as a partnership, and it's definitely the best way.

[Whisperzzzzzzz]

Have you seen the show Bad Sisters?

[Slow Ben]

Dude sounds like a fucking clown.

[Macros]

Sounds like a real Jive Turkey

[QuickTidal]

He is.

[Cause]

QuickTidal, on 28 January 2026 - 12:30 PM, said:

Thanks all for the advice, sound stuff. I'll probably take that advice and keep it as civil and ignored as I can.

Macros, on 28 January 2026 - 07:46 AM, said:

He doesn't pay??
What kind of bulkshit is that???


Ive never understood that 'their money my money' in a marriage or long term relationship.

Its a partnership, one pot of money

Yeah, the dynamics of their relationship is so strange...he treats his money like his money and when she asks for money to buy groceries or things for the kids he grumbles about it. She makes money but not anywhere near as much as he does. But of course when he wants to buys toys he's allowed (he bought a plane; crashed it [not his fault, but still], he bought a boat and assumed the place he paid to keep it over the winter would tell him he needed to winterize it [he did not, the boat is a write off now as it's destroyed])...so she's paid for the last few trips with her inheritance money from my MIL, and he's paid nothing.

And yeah, I'm with you, my wife and I have a shared pot as the marriage is a shared thing so we just pool all our money and larger purchases we discuss, I can still buy books without worrying and she can still buy skincare without worrying. I cannot fathom us having separate money and trying to manage a household...

When I tell you none of us understand how she ended up with such a selfish person...he doesn't contribute to cooking or cleaning up when we have family dinners at my father in laws...he just sits and drinks scotch. I usually cook, and almost always clean up (or help clean up) and he thinks me "girly" for doing it...so yeah my sister in law married a guy from the 1940's? I dunno. He's insufferable.

As someone who is not a fan of his ex-brother-in-law and likely future brother-in-law again I can commiserate but sadly have no constructive advice. Its painful when you feel you have a clear eyed perspective from the outside and your siter blinded by love or habit cant see the damage this person has wrought or forgives him for it. My ex-brother in law seems to have turned around quite a bit and even so I am not ready to trust him yet.

I guess I do have one piece of advice, whatever happens support your sister and make sure she knows its HIM not them. Thats a difficult line to walk of course.

This post has been edited by Cause: 29 January 2026 - 04:38 PM

[Cause]

Had a job interview today. I honestly think its a perfect fit for me. I have the right technical background, company is the right size, its a European company which I think is a positive. I think i have made it past the HR screen and into the next round, she said as much in the interview. The recruiter thinks I am 1 of 5 candidates currently.

I just do not want to get too excited. It impossible to say how things will go but at the same time I would love to get the offer from this company in particular.

[Cause]

Lucky me, I have been randomly chosen for Massachusetts RESEA program. It stands for Reemployment Services and Eligibility Assessment. Amongst other things they will confirm that I am actively looking for work. looking for the right work, someone will review my resume. They have asked me to review my skills and think if amongst others my English and math ability are strong enough to find work.

I understand why this exists, I understand its one size fits all but this will not aid me in anyway. Its literally just a burden on my time to jump through hoops. I am lucky in that the offices I will have to visit are located a short walk from where I live. Otherwise it would be a even greater burden on my finances and time as well.

[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 03 February 2026 - 01:31 PM, said:

Went out for my birthday for dinner to the Japanese place in town...there is only one. ...

As a preliminary point HAPPY BIRTHDAY, may all your dreams manifest in the coming year but not in a weird semi-sentient trying to eat your soul and replace you sort of way.

I adore Japanese food, but smaller markets just seem to default to what youre describing. TO, Mtl, no problem, spoiled for choice. Ottawa? ...dinner for four is $150+++ for mall food quality. There's some great sushi in town but forget teppanyaki or even a decent teriyaki anything. I get it, times are hard for restaurants, but they're not going to last rolling out plates like you're describing. Who cheaps out on rice???

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Abyss, on 03 February 2026 - 04:06 PM, said:

As a preliminary point HAPPY BIRTHDAY, may all your dreams manifest in the coming year but not in a weird semi-sentient trying to eat your soul and replace you sort of way.

I adore Japanese food, but smaller markets just seem to default to what youre describing. TO, Mtl, no problem, spoiled for choice. Ottawa? ...dinner for four is $150+++ for mall food quality. There's some great sushi in town but forget teppanyaki or even a decent teriyaki anything. I get it, times are hard for restaurants, but they're not going to last rolling out plates like you're describing. Who cheaps out on rice???

Not defending them at all, but a common assumption seems to be that most people in small towns populated primarily by white people don't care about most vegetables (with the exception of fried potatos) or white rice. Or anything except slathering on sweet sauce and deep frying.

Condolences QT. Guess delivery isn't an option, since you could have traveled somewhere within delivery distance? Unless it's more about not having or not wanting to spend the time to travel... but then a lot of people do care about actually going to a full service restaurant. (Wonder whether anyone has tried combining delivery with full service---you still have waiters take your order, brush the crumbs off the table, and entertain you a little with brief conversation and their knowledge of (and genuine-seeming (if not Oscar-worthy) appreciation for) the menu---and its special additions. Like The Bear, but all the food gets delivered from other restaurants, instead of

Spoiler

just... what was it, a piece of deep dish pizza or something?)

Or have the whole family put on AR goggles to transform your home into almost whatever visuals you want (perhaps from any era of Japanese history, any style), or transform yourselves (through your looking glasses) into fantasy characters (or perhaps only your clothes and face, and the bodies of other people, to avoid potentially disorienting dysphoria).

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 03 February 2026 - 04:58 PM

[QuickTidal]

Abyss, on 03 February 2026 - 04:06 PM, said:

Who cheaps out on rice???

Right? My thoughts exactly. I can't ever recall getting Japanese food (Or Korean food for that matter) where the rice wasn't abundant since it's bought in such massive restaurant level amounts.

Azath Vitr (D, on 03 February 2026 - 04:56 PM, said:

Not defending them at all, but a common assumption seems to be that most people in small towns populated primarily by white people don't care about most vegetables (with the exception of fried potatos) or white rice. Or anything except slathering on sweet sauce and deep frying.

This would be a valid comment, but I live near the largest south asian diaspora in the entirety of my province.

Azath Vitr (D, on 03 February 2026 - 04:56 PM, said:

Condolences QT. Guess delivery isn't an option, since you could have traveled somewhere within delivery distance?

Oh, we very much could have ordered in (would have cost the same and been the same food) but my wife suggested we have a nice night out, and there are other places in various places around us that are a short jaunt away. As I said, it was my decision to eat there as it was local and I liked the Katsu I had there before enough...so entirely on me. Next time we will go to one of the other Japanese places a little further afield and try them out.

I'm also the last person to complain about restaurants and food. I'm super forgiving of most places...but man this just stood out a mile to me as overpriced and bland.

[Cause]

I couldn't be whiter and I couldn't love white rice more. Is that really a thing? I hate all the additives. Freaks me out when the rice is yellow or brown.

_________________________________________________

I don't want to come across as cold here but maybe the people who phone the pharmacy/dermatology expecting urgent medical attention can just be allowed to die rather than me having to hear 'if this is an emergency hang up and dial 911' ten times while navigating an automated phone tree.

What even is a life threatening emergency that requires a dermatologist?

[Macros]

Brown rice is naturally brown?

[Tsundoku]

We had a leak in the aircon wall unit of the split system and water went onto one of the bookshelves under it. A bunch of books ended up with water damage and black mould so we had to bin them.
Including my Last Legionary Quartet omnibus by Douglas Hill. Pure 80s YA scifi fun in an edition I've never seen ever again. A bunch of Peter F Hamilton Books including A Second Chance at Eden collection of short stories. I think it had the short story that ended up in Love, Death and Robots. Also, the Arabesk Trilogy omnibus edition by John Courtney Grimwood. There was a few others but those are the ones I'm most upset about. I know they're only things, but damn.
The Mrs lost all her Kate Forsyth books and the first 3 Outlander books in an omnibus edition plus a few others.

As you may have guessed, we have ours in alphabetical order and the F,G and H section is what copped it.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 04 February 2026 - 10:16 AM

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Cause, on 03 February 2026 - 06:15 PM, said:

I couldn't be whiter and I couldn't love white rice more. Is that really a thing? I hate all the additives. Freaks me out when the rice is yellow or brown.

Almost every day for about the last four years my dinner has been just a small bowl of plain white rice. It's the only time I break my strict low glycemic index diet.

Why? First, I was influenced by watching Pachinko. The way they treated plain white rice as a delicacy to be savored shocked me. Especially since I'd always considered brown rice more flavorful (as well as healthier). So I was a little intrigued, but it wasn't allowed on my diet.

Then I read about a study which showed that eating white rice (without any fat or anything added to it) about three hours before bed helped with sleep onset (while, unlike alcohol, actually improving sleep quality).

I'd had trouble getting to sleep for many years, and I'd tried a bunch of different things (the usual medical suggestions, along with tart cherry juice and melatonin patches). But white rice three hours before bed seems to work better for me. So I stopped doing all of those, and I've been consistently clunking out at the scheduled time.

Obviously my otherwise strict low glycemic index diet probably enhances the effect.

Also, when I slowly savor plain white rice, I really do enjoy it.

Macros, on 04 February 2026 - 09:57 AM, said:

Brown rice is naturally brown?

Yeah, it's the least processed and restaurants will often serve it plain.

Technically the "yellow" rice Cause is thinking of is actually white rice that has been cooked with additives to change its color. It's still technically white rice.

Perhaps he was thinking of brown spices that are commonly added to white rice---like cumin, cinnamon, cloves, brown mustard seeds, nutmeg, etc.

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 04 February 2026 - 12:43 PM

[QuickTidal]

Tsundoku, on 04 February 2026 - 10:15 AM, said:

We had a leak in the aircon wall unit of the split system and water went onto one of the bookshelves under it. A bunch of books ended up with water damage and black mould so we had to bin them.
Including my Last Legionary Quartet omnibus by Douglas Hill. Pure 80s YA scifi fun in an edition I've never seen ever again. A bunch of Peter F Hamilton Books including A Second Chance at Eden collection of short stories. I think it had the short story that ended up in Love, Death and Robots. Also, the Arabesk Trilogy omnibus edition by John Courtney Grimwood. There was a few others but those are the ones I'm most upset about. I know they're only things, but damn.
The Mrs lost all her Kate Forsyth books and the first 3 Outlander books in an omnibus edition plus a few others.

As you may have guessed, we have ours in alphabetical order and the F,G and H section is what copped it.

Brutal! I've been there, many years ago....bottom rack of a shelf where a leak/flood occurred and enough water touched the shelf to mould everything on it, including a bunch of expensive HedKandi double albums I spent a mint on when I was a poor 20-year old.