[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

MODGOD NOTICE OF Azath - reset your inner filter, the one that stops your posts from moving from nonsense to offensive stupidity.

This post has been edited by Abyss: 18 August 2025 - 04:19 AM

[amphibian]

Cause, on 13 August 2025 - 03:33 PM, said:

When someone died my community responds in two ways:

A) You bring food to the home of the survivors, the idea being that in their grief they do not have time for the tedium of day to day chores and this is a way to alleviate their burden. Today however more than half my contacts live in different cities or even countries from me. Sending a doordash voucher doesn't seem to carry the same meaning, they could order the food that way anyway. I am just sending cash at that point. Maybe for someone who wouldn't because of the financial burden but I don't think that the case with the vast majority of people I know.

We always say 'we wish you and your family long life'. I used to think that was a common Jewish phrase but its actually rather specific to the South African Jewish community with some small use in the UK too apparently. I think to people not used to hearing it, it actually sounds strange.

So what's a meaningful gesture in this modern world to tell someone 100s of miles away that you care, and are sorry for their loss? I find just saying it feels so cheap and akward. I mean anyone can say anything, an acquutance at the coffee shop could give condolences. Showing up at prayers, a funeral, providing food are tangible gestures but they don't work long distance.

Edit-Wow unfortuante emoji coding

Sending them a grocery store delivery, gift basket, or food delivery gift card is still super legit in making things easier.

In my family and friends group, there's been long term health issues, emergencies, and the occasional "everyone is sick bc the child brought a stomach bug home and we haven't been able to grocery shop". Getting food over to them by any means that eases the burden of procuring that food does help.

It also helps if there's some level of communication that can help emotionally - whether it's to be a listening ear, someone to be distracted by, or someone to help plan things out.

Any combination of the above, even from afar, is worthwhile and is appreciated.

[BK (NTS no politics)]

The fuck is wrong with this site? I been trying to log in for over a week now. Bad gateway whatever the fuck that means.

[Abyss]

Azath Vitr (D, on 13 August 2025 - 04:06 PM, said:

MODGOD NOTICE OF Azath - reset your inner filter, the one that stops your posts from moving from nonsense to offensive stupidity.

REPOSTING AS REPLY IN CASE THE MESSAGE WAS TOO FAR UPTHREAD TO LAND.

[Abyss]

Cause, on 13 August 2025 - 03:33 PM, said:

When someone died my community responds in two ways:

A) You bring food to the home of the survivors, the idea being that in their grief they do not have time for the tedium of day to day chores and this is a way to alleviate their burden. Today however more than half my contacts live in different cities or even countries from me. Sending a doordash voucher doesn't seem to carry the same meaning, they could order the food that way anyway. I am just sending cash at that point. Maybe for someone who wouldn't because of the financial burden but I don't think that the case with the vast majority of people I know.

We always say 'we wish you and your family long life'. I used to think that was a common Jewish phrase but its actually rather specific to the South African Jewish community with some small use in the UK too apparently. I think to people not used to hearing it, it actually sounds strange.

So what's a meaningful gesture in this modern world to tell someone 100s of miles away that you care, and are sorry for their loss? I find just saying it feels so cheap and akward. I mean anyone can say anything, an acquutance at the coffee shop could give condolences. Showing up at prayers, a funeral, providing food are tangible gestures but they don't work long distance.

Edit-Wow unfortuante emoji coding

My $0.02... Condolence card, sincere handwritten message that includes that you wish you could be there to express the message in person, sent in the mail.
That you take the time to do this despite all the tech that makes instant messages so simple and fast actually counts for a lot.

[worry]

Sorry, man, that sounds awful. Your SIL should be modeling much better behavior, and is completely failing. The cousins are following her lead. Bully kids from bully parents.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

I'm so sorry QT, that sounds dreadful. Your SIL is an adult and she's letting everyone involved down by not behaving like one and modelling such to her kids.

[worry]

RIP to Graham Greene. To Canadians, he may have just been a recurring character on the Red Green Show, but to the rest of the world he was a venerable film, stage, and television actor for many decades.

[QuickTidal]

worry, on 02 September 2025 - 05:52 AM, said:

RIP to Graham Greene. To Canadians, he may have just been a recurring character on the Red Green Show, but to the rest of the world he was a venerable film, stage, and television actor for many decades.

Sad to see such a great actor die so young. He's been in Canadian Content since I was a kid. He will be missed.

[Slow Ben]

That stinks.


He was so good in everything. But he was absolutely phenomenal in his small role in The Green Mile.

[BK (NTS no politics)]

Love Bugs and meth heads..

[Cause]

Please forgive some first world grumbling, or as I have recently discovered it mockingly referred to as 'oh no my steak is too juicy and my lobster too buttery':

I have found myself over the last few weeks contemplating inflation, enshittification, shrinklfation and also the thread in the discussion forum about the west vs China.

I travel a lot for my job. I have high status with airlines, hotels and the perks that come with it.

I guess one of the primary factors that started this round of negative thinking was I recently achieved a bucket list aspiration. I was upgraded for free to a first class cabin from LA to Boston. I have always wanted to experience this and while I have been upgraded to first class before its been on domestic first class seating which is really just a bigger chair. This was a true Delta One cabin with lie flat seats, a welcome ammenity and a meal served on white linen. It was a fun experience (its not worth paying for by the way unless your closing a million dollar deal the same day you land and you need to be alert) and I am very glad I got it. I also know that Delta One is not comparable to the propaganda airlines like Emirates or Qatar which exist to advertise the opulence and wealth of their countries and bring in business and tourism. The only thing about the experience that actually was a stand out improvement was the lie flat seat whose value increases the longer the flight is. Otherwise being served a meal was nice, but I remember a time when meals were served in all cabins and I am not that old. I feel like I accomplished my bucket list goal only to immediatly feel like no I need to aim for a better experience for it to count.

It made me realize that in addition to record inflation (generally) the last few years we have of course been facing enshittification of the airline industry for decades. Whatever the reasoning or the excuse or validity of the practices we now have to pay to check bags, overhead baggage space is not guaranteed. Even for a 6.5 hour flight from east coast to west coast no longer includes a meal or even a free snack beyond a small bag of pretzels or biscoff cookies and soda. Relevant with todays headlines airlines overbook flights, cancel or delay them regularly and they feel no obligation to offer amends and now the regulation that might have forced them too has been repealed. I am not a big drinker but I have started to ask for a vodka or rum on flights to collect the mini bottles. I thought it would be amusing the next time I hosted a board game night or something I could serve everyone mini bottles from my stash. My grandfather used to collect and display these bottles form his trips. His 'bar area' had beautiful mini bottles of the whiskeys he enjoyed. They were beautiful glass bottles, with beautiful designs with gold or other bright embelishents. Today these bottles are just plastic. This one is petty I know, plastic is cheaper and less prone to breakage but also glass is just a superiro storage material. Nevertheless Ill include it as it nevertheless is worse than examples I can remeber from the past.

Hotels will award me with a free bottle of water as a loyalty bonus. A bottle of water! This used to be considered a common courtesy. From overcrowded airport lounges, to weaker credit card benefits everything I encounter in this travel space was better 5 years ago, even better 10 years ago, and best 20 years ago. A dollar gets you less not just as inflation raises prices but in the experience it buys you. The actual inflation is therefore much higher than it might even seem.

Also by contrast I have seen this week for example a 24 hour spa in china that costs 30 dollars to enter, and be provided unlimited food, drinks, and access to private pods, pools, saunas etc. It looks incredible and for the price a great way to spend a relaxing Saturday. A pod hotel in NYC on the hand still costs 250 dollars a night somehow. Now I know from my experiences with USA and south africa that different countries are not really comparable. While 30 dollars are nothing to me now, in china its presumable a different story for most who will earn less on average. I dont want to experience wonders at the cost of the toil of a working class who earns peanuts but I think this kind of contrast that you might see on social media is one of the reasons that China might be seen to be winning.

I often use the example that a cleaning service in America costs 150 dollars for an hours work whenre in south africa you could employ someone full time for 300 dollars a month. South Africa is not winning at anything.

Anyway thats my first world rant for now

[Macros]

I agree with you on everything being trimmed back on travel side (fly Ryanir if youre ever in Europe, for the highlight reel of that)

$150 for an hour would need to be a 3 person team who blitz you apartment in that time, cleaners here are £20/£30 and hour.
I will take issue with your SA cleaner comparision because its a personal bugbear of mine, the 'domestics'always make me massively uncomfortable when I'm down there or chatting to our friends/family. It's not great value, its paying a slave wage to a live in or someone who lives in a township. And the argument that its more than they would get if they had no job or you can't afford to pay them more does not fly with me, most of these people have 2 good cars, live in decent houses and eat out regularly, if you c9uld not survive on what you pay them, its not enough

This post has been edited by Macros: 07 September 2025 - 06:03 AM

[BK (NTS no politics)]

Off to get cancer cut out of me in a few short hours. Hopefully I have a large scar on the side of my face for character reasons. I wish I hadn’t people talk me into removing my other wicked scar in early 00’s.

[worry]

Hope all goes well, today and afterward.

[QuickTidal]

Same. Hope everything gets snipped well and clear in the future.

[BK (NTS no politics)]

*nods

Sore! Had to eat my sweet tater pie with a fork instead of using my hands like normal as I couldn’t open my yap wide enough and I was plastering whip cream on my face.

I got my battle scar though. Should look like I mostly dodged a knife swipe just in the nick of time. Gals love scars as I found out in the prime of my river rat chasing days. I’m approaching the end of that era and this one will not be anywhere near as attention grabbing as my old cyst scar it should still be visible and comment worthy I think.

[Tsundoku]

I believe one of Sir Isaac Newton's lesser-known early scientific proofs was that "...verily, the fairer sex doth indeed find scars aesthetically pleasing."

Try to eat a peach.

[Maark Abbott]

Briar King, on 08 September 2025 - 05:08 AM, said:

Off to get cancer cut out of me in a few short hours. Hopefully I have a large scar on the side of my face for character reasons. I wish I hadn't people talk me into removing my other wicked scar in early 00's.

Could say a big scar would leave you Gruntled.

[Nicodimas]

So my girlfriends been sick and done a bajillion tests. Mental illness just keeps getting worse for her. I have had crazy weird brain fog this last year... We have been on the whole diet and allergy pathway of all things. We might finally rooted it out and now are like how do we fix this ? They largely think it's her stomach microbiome as her GABA production is super low. I separately got treated for a cortisol disorder and have just lost fifty pounds 210--160 (on purpose mind ya). All my muscle is gone though..sad face.

However good news we found the cause OTA mold toxicity.Good news hah! However now lots more questions.did this come from food ..or the environment.we have 14 pets , we love animals if you didn't get this from me ever. I prolly like animals more than other humans lol. Then We had a plumber out that is a mold specialist around here and they said the house does not need remediation, however getting a second opinion. Me and my girlfriend both volunteer at pets rescues so around lots of animal waste/feed for a good part of life so maybe there. Or food ..and went down the decision pathway to figure out what food and have both been doing food elimination diets. What is making us sickkkkk. We work different places too. Anyone ever run into OTA mold toxicity ? I'm ripping the carpet out this weekend it's going down ...

Health is weird !

Wondering how much exposure would cause this to infiltrate you. Yes yes being treated by a specialist ..but my brain is just running trying to figure out if it's a constant exposure thing etc

Edit: Been living here 3 years ..bought house not rented* looks clean inside ..and tests did not show mold. So confused

This post has been edited by Nicodimas: 16 September 2025 - 07:41 PM