[QuickTidal]

QuickTidal, on 01 April 2025 - 06:12 PM, said:

Thanks guys. Yeah, we contacted her teacher and she said it was news to her as she thought they were friends, so she's going to speak to them both and then move my daughter to another part of the class if need be. She sounds on top of it for now.

If that solves the problem that's good, but I'll note to my wife to mention this to the principal as she knows him after a few interactions with him and he seems to be on the ball, so he's at least in the loop about the occurrences.


It sounds like this girl pretends to be friendly with my daughter but mocks her and makes fun of her privately (which I mean, every teacher I've ever spoken with about bullies said that this is their MO....they KNOW that they can't present the bully nature too loudly or they will get busted and it's no longer "There are two sides, the teacher didn't see what actually happened" and instead they will get pointed out as the instigator, so they avoid getting seen doing it.

Daughter was moved in class, both girls were spoken to by the teacher. Bully girl continues to not only be a thorn in her side, but has shifted tactics now to trying to isolate her from her friends and sever those ties by telling them she's lying about them.

So we emailed the teacher and principal and told them it has not stopped and that it needs to right away. The principal seemed to fob the job off onto the teacher who responded with a pretty milquetoast reply about speaking to them again...(Again, if I had to guess, this girl is already a PROBLEM and her parents are reportedly not really into caring about it; the girl bullies one of our daughters friends but she has a super thick skin she she doesn't let it bother her as her parents haven't heard her talk about it like ours does)

If my kid comes home with incidents this week, I will email the School Board Trustee. I have not threatened this yet to them directly, but I will copy the teacher and principal when and if I do and I will warn them ahead of time. I will not allow this to go on.

My wife chose to drive the kids to school today (they normally take bus) and stood in line with her outside and apparently the girl saw my wife standing there and knew she was my kids mom. So I hope that spooks her.

[QuickTidal]

Email I sent her her teacher and principal:


As ________’s father I feel it's worthwhile to state our stance currently, and also as someone who experienced relentless bullying during my own school years. Unfortunately, despite the transition to a new environment, it appears that moving ______ has not resolved the issues she has been facing. She continues to report troubling incidents involving the same student, and it is increasingly clear that she is being targeted with deliberate actions that cause her mental distress.

To be clear, the tactics have evolved, with this student now attempting to undermine _______’s new friendships by spreading false accusations of dishonesty. As you know, social isolation is a well-documented bullying tactic, and its effects can be deeply harmful, particularly when left unaddressed. Having witnessed firsthand how these situations can escalate into serious emotional struggles, I feel it is important to act now rather than later.

_______ is working hard to catch up academically and is striving to integrate socially, but dealing with ongoing social disruption is making this transition even more difficult. Given her shy and soft-spoken nature, she often struggles to communicate her feelings openly, leaving it to us as her parents to advocate on her behalf.
We greatly appreciate your willingness to listen and your openness to finding a resolution.

Please let us know if it would be beneficial to involve -School Trustee's name- at this stage to support a positive outcome for all the students involved.

Thank you very much for your time and attention to this matter

Sincerely,

QT

[worry]

That reads as appropriately diplomatic without any fake ambivalence about who the problem is.

[QuickTidal]

worry, on 28 April 2025 - 04:25 PM, said:

That reads as appropriately diplomatic without any fake ambivalence about who the problem is.

Thanks, yeah I'm not trying to step on toes, but I also refuse to back down on shit being done about this.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

The generative AI being used by Amazon and Google frequently gives incorrect answers. I thought asking Amazon's AI a question about a product would be faster than trying to find the answer in the product description, and when the AI told me that the description didn't contain the answer, I made the terrible mistake of believing it... and spending the next 20 minutes trying to find the answer in the included images (which I'd assumed the AI might not have been able to interpret, though there is multimodal AI that can do that) or via Google search.

Later I tried to verify a questionable claim using Google... Google's AI affirmed the claim and provided multiple citations, but none of them actually appear to support the claim. Pretty sure it's false.

Annoying wastes of time that are probably reducing productivity in net...

[Macros]

also making people collectively lazier and stupider.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

QuickTidal, on 28 April 2025 - 02:13 PM, said:

Email I sent her her teacher and principal:


As ________'s father I feel it's worthwhile to state our stance currently, and also as someone who experienced relentless bullying during my own school years. Unfortunately, despite the transition to a new environment, it appears that moving ______ has not resolved the issues she has been facing. She continues to report troubling incidents involving the same student, and it is increasingly clear that she is being targeted with deliberate actions that cause her mental distress.

To be clear, the tactics have evolved, with this student now attempting to undermine _______'s new friendships by spreading false accusations of dishonesty. As you know, social isolation is a well-documented bullying tactic, and its effects can be deeply harmful, particularly when left unaddressed. Having witnessed firsthand how these situations can escalate into serious emotional struggles, I feel it is important to act now rather than later.

_______ is working hard to catch up academically and is striving to integrate socially, but dealing with ongoing social disruption is making this transition even more difficult. Given her shy and soft-spoken nature, she often struggles to communicate her feelings openly, leaving it to us as her parents to advocate on her behalf.
We greatly appreciate your willingness to listen and your openness to finding a resolution.

Please let us know if it would be beneficial to involve -School Trustee's name- at this stage to support a positive outcome for all the students involved.

Thank you very much for your time and attention to this matter

Sincerely,

QT

I second worry - I think that's an excellent approach. I really hope there's some resolution for your daughter soon - I don't have fond memories of school for similar reasons.

[Dinivan]

Hi QT - I know I am a complete strange to you. I haven't posted here for probably a decade or so, but I occasionally still read silently.

Bullying is a topic close to me - I saw it happen to my sister, and I see it currently in my elder son's class. You are absolutely right to take it seriously and are dealing wonderfully with it.

I just want - and hope it doesnt feel to obnoxious - offer a few bits of advice:

1. Do what you have to, to make it stop. My sister got over here mental instability and insecurity, but 20 years after school, the unhealthy sugar addiction, stress eating and destroyed liver still remain. My parents had to threaten to go to the state level authorities and the local newspaper before the local school authorities and the teachers actually did something. You are probably not there yet, but if needs be... do what you must to protect your daughter.

2. Definetely keep up the Teakwondo, or another fighting sport. It will really help your daughter to build up her selfconfidence.

3. Write everything down. Everytime your daughter comes home and tells a story, make an entry in a (macabre) diary. If you can later on show a record of constant abuse it is far harder to deny that it is not "just some small fights between kids, you know how it gets" or "oh she was just feeling bad that one time".

4. If you can, try to talk to the parents of the other children that suffered the abuse (or of classmates who have seen it) and get them to work with you. It is much harder to claim "there are two sides" if there are several accounts from different sources, and much easier dealing with the school if you are several sets of parents working together.

[Abyss]

Dinivan, on 29 April 2025 - 03:47 PM, said:

...
3. Write everything down. ...

this is probably the single most important thing... you cannot remember everything and even if you do the accuracy suffers w time.
Notes, made asap, are gold when it comes to backing facts, esp when the 'other side' doesn't have them. Even better if they're prepared by two people.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

After reading about Deepseek's latest update (improved mathematical reasoning) I finally got around to trying it (it's free) and was very impressed... for about two minutes. Then it---seemingly randomly---mixed up two important symbols. On being asked about it, Deepseek called it a "typo". Bleh... granted even human mathematics professors make a surprisingly large number of minor errors like that, so error-prone generative AI might still make fewer errors than human mathematicians. But it could be so much better with rigorous logical testing---it should be able to achieve a near-zero error rate.

[Tiste Simeon]

I've absolutely knackered my knees. It's likely a combo of running, old damage from gout and other issues and also the fact that I went to the physio the other day and some of the exercises I did have exacerbated my knee tendons.

I'm in huge amounts of pain and am working from home today so I can rest with my legs up and ice on them. The doctor says they should get better soon with ice and painkillers so I'm hoping that happens quickly.

Regardless, that's any running events I was going to take part in now not feasible. Gutted tbh.

[Tsundoku]

Tiste Simeon, on 02 May 2025 - 12:50 PM, said:

I've absolutely knackered my knees. It's likely a combo of running, old damage from gout and other issues and also the fact that I went to the physio the other day and some of the exercises I did have exacerbated my knee tendons.

I'm in huge amounts of pain and am working from home today so I can rest with my legs up and ice on them. The doctor says they should get better soon with ice and painkillers so I'm hoping that happens quickly.

Regardless, that's any running events I was going to take part in now not feasible. Gutted tbh.

Do you have this stuff over there? It's pretty good. It's like Voltaren or Deep Heat except better IMHO. There's also "cold" versions and so on.

https://www.chemistw...elief-cream-70g

[Tiste Simeon]

Tsundoku, on 02 May 2025 - 01:29 PM, said:

Tiste Simeon, on 02 May 2025 - 12:50 PM, said:

I've absolutely knackered my knees. It's likely a combo of running, old damage from gout and other issues and also the fact that I went to the physio the other day and some of the exercises I did have exacerbated my knee tendons.

I'm in huge amounts of pain and am working from home today so I can rest with my legs up and ice on them. The doctor says they should get better soon with ice and painkillers so I'm hoping that happens quickly.

Regardless, that's any running events I was going to take part in now not feasible. Gutted tbh.

Do you have this stuff over there? It's pretty good. It's like Voltaren or Deep Heat except better IMHO. There's also "cold" versions and so on.

https://www.chemistw...elief-cream-70g

Nope I've not seen that stuff but I'll see if I can get it here. The doctor thinks it's a tendon issue so I dunno if that stuff would get to it.

[Tsundoku]

Tiste Simeon, on 02 May 2025 - 03:28 PM, said:

Tsundoku, on 02 May 2025 - 01:29 PM, said:

Tiste Simeon, on 02 May 2025 - 12:50 PM, said:

I've absolutely knackered my knees. It's likely a combo of running, old damage from gout and other issues and also the fact that I went to the physio the other day and some of the exercises I did have exacerbated my knee tendons.

I'm in huge amounts of pain and am working from home today so I can rest with my legs up and ice on them. The doctor says they should get better soon with ice and painkillers so I'm hoping that happens quickly.

Regardless, that's any running events I was going to take part in now not feasible. Gutted tbh.

Do you have this stuff over there? It's pretty good. It's like Voltaren or Deep Heat except better IMHO. There's also "cold" versions and so on.

https://www.chemistw...elief-cream-70g

Nope I've not seen that stuff but I'll see if I can get it here. The doctor thinks it's a tendon issue so I dunno if that stuff would get to it.

Well if you'll forgive the pun it doesn't hurt to try.

I have decent pain in my old knees at times and I find it's good for mild temporary relief.
Not sure if you can get it in Eng-er-land, but there may be some sort of local equivalent that isn't just the same Deep Heat stuff.

Another plus for it IMHO is you don't have to rub it in excessively, just ensure good coverage.

[Cause]

Random thought:

I was in a men’s bathroom today that had two cubicles but no urinals. I contemplated the lost efficiency as I was seeing a man about a horse. Now the reason I bring this up is because I realized I’ll use a urinal without any shame but the idea of using the cubicle to pee without closing the door is unconscionable even to regain the efficiency. Why do I feel this way.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Cause, on 07 May 2025 - 08:52 PM, said:

Random thought:

I was in a men's bathroom today that had two cubicles but no urinals. I contemplated the lost efficiency as I was seeing a man about a horse. Now the reason I bring this up is because I realized I'll use a urinal without any shame but the idea of using the cubicle to pee without closing the door is unconscionable even to regain the efficiency. Why do I feel this way.

Depending on visibility someone might be on the verge of rushing into the stall only to see you there. Might even accidentally knock you cock-first into the toilet as you're pissing into it. Though I'd suppose that if you're pissing loudly enough that that would alert them...

[Whisperzzzzzzz]

Presented with brief comment: Fuck.

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[QuickTidal]

Ugh. Worst. Good luck. Never fun to deal with

[worry]

Oh lord!

[Abyss]

NUKE IT FROM ORBIT