[Abyss]

Malankazooie, on 26 December 2019 - 05:23 AM, said:

I just want to go on the record and state that white chocolate is terrible and that whoever invented it should have been brought in front an international court of justice to answer for crimes against humanity for bringing that into existence. It's Satan's jizz. That is all. Continue with your Yuletide merriment.

Here's the thing. White chocolate was never supposed to be more than a topping. Maybe a garnish. A thing you add to offset other things.

By itself, it is an atrocity. In large amounts, same. People who claim to enjoy it that way are Cylons and should not be trusted.

But used as it should be, say, coating an oreo, it can totally work.

[Slow Ben]

Abyss, on 27 December 2019 - 03:07 AM, said:

Malankazooie, on 26 December 2019 - 05:23 AM, said:

I just want to go on the record and state that white chocolate is terrible and that whoever invented it should have been brought in front an international court of justice to answer for crimes against humanity for bringing that into existence. It's Satan's jizz. That is all. Continue with your Yuletide merriment.

Here's the thing. White chocolate was never supposed to be more than a topping. Maybe a garnish. A thing you add to offset other things.

By itself, it is an atrocity. In large amounts, same. People who claim to enjoy it that way are Cylons and should not be trusted.

But used as it should be, say, coating an oreo, it can totally work.

White chocolate pretzels are phenomenal.

[Cause]

When i had chemo it was only one round and fairly weak. They gave me a ton of any nausea meds and I never vomited but I did spend five days with this horrible feeling in the back of my throat like I wanted to but didn’t quite have to. All in all not a bad experience as chemo goes. Was pretty much my only experience with nausea in my life. Barring when I vomited on my 21st birthday. Generally I don’t drink.

I don’t know what causes it but every now and then that feeling in the back of my throat comes back. Can last a minute or an hour. I otherwise feel fine when it happens.

[Aptorian]

What did you have chemo for?

[Cause]

Testicular cancer in 2017, they cut out the tumor but my cat scan showed two enlarged lymph nodes. The oncologist seemed to think it was possibly a signs it had metastasized or maybe I just had large lymph nodes. So after discussing it with him, I decided better safe than sorry and did one round of cisplatin chemo. Really wasn’t too bad, just some mild nausea and for a few weeks I’d run out of breath carrying my dog upstairs or other simple things. Cisplatin kills off red blood cells. Kept all my hair. Testicular cancer is the best cancer to get, if you have to get cancer. I got lucky and self diagnosed early (even though up till then I never really checked, was a complete fluke): I told my family and friends I needed surgery. A week later the turnout was cut out. The chemo was scheduled a month after that to give my body time to heal first and bam I was cancer free. From diagnosis to end was about five weeks. Whole thing happened between me finishing my PhD and my first Job so I was also on holiday the whole time. I almost feel silly calling it cancer compared to what some people go through. I didn’t tell some people at first because I wanted to know my situation at first so only told close friends and family. Then when I realized I was gonna be okay and it wasn’t gonna be a huge deal, it seemed silly to tell people. I think a lot of my secondary friends (so to speak) don’t even know it happened.

I don’t know if my body now just associates nausea with the chemo or what causes it but every now and then I have nausea flashbacks. I felt fine last night. No stomachs problems but several times last night I had moments of that feeling in the back of my throat. Happens once a month or less maybe.

The only really memorable cancer trouble I had was a days after chemo I drove myself to the shops, I wanted some electrolytes or maybe some of nausea helping foods they recommended, I don’t quite remember. Doctor told me I’d be fine to drive. I kinda wasn’t. My reaction time was a bit off and I was a little fuzzy and when the car in front of me slammed in her breaks I didn’t stop in time and we had a minor fender bender. Swapped insurance info and it was all good.

I also had my job interview the day after chemo and I asked the dr if I should cancel and again he said I’d be fine and the first day of the chemo I felt perfect. It was actually only I woke up the next morning that I felt sick. I thought it would look bad if I cancelled on such short notice so I went to the interview. I had meant to prep the night before but fell asleep the moment I got home. So there I was feeling sick, trying not to vomit in the conference table having not done the research I normally would for an interview. They called me within the week to say I had got the job. I also remember them specifically asking if I had any illnesses to declare that might make me accepting the job a problem and I said no because technically I was supposed to be cancer free as of the previous day. However I always felt like it was a lie so never ever told anyone at work that I’d had cancer. Probably should have because my boss had stomachs cancer. Should have bonded over it

[Aptorian]

I think I remember you posting about it before.

Good job on kicking Cancer's ass.

[Traveller]

Depression bad today. Finally used that word cause I dont know what else this is

[Aptorian]

Hangover?

[Mezla PigDog]

Traveller, on 30 December 2019 - 08:04 AM, said:

Depression bad today. Finally used that word cause I dont know what else this is

How many days in a row have you spent with your family? Cos that'll do it.

Not disparaging your family of course. Just families in general. Especially ones with small children in them.

[Traveller]

Mezla PigDog, on 30 December 2019 - 06:24 PM, said:

Traveller, on 30 December 2019 - 08:04 AM, said:

Depression bad today. Finally used that word cause I dont know what else this is

How many days in a row have you spent with your family? Cos that'll do it.

Not disparaging your family of course. Just families in general. Especially ones with small children in them.

Been about 12 days now I guess.. with a few long days at work in between. Which isn't helping, also i just realised I've been there nearly 10 years and I still have no idea why.

After actually typing 'depression' I pretty much cried quietly for 10 minutes while the kids had breakfast downstairs.
I don't have anyone to talk to about this.
I don't want to talk to anyone about it either.

Anyway I took the kids swimming in the morning and we played games this afternoon which helped.

Cheers for the offer BK.

[Aptorian]

You have us to talk with about it. You are talking about it right now. That's a start.

But if it persists and it's as bad as you feel it is, it might be talk with a doctor time and not a work through it yourself situation. You've got kids you need to think about.

[Puck]

Traveller, on 30 December 2019 - 07:59 PM, said:

Mezla PigDog, on 30 December 2019 - 06:24 PM, said:

Traveller, on 30 December 2019 - 08:04 AM, said:

Depression bad today. Finally used that word cause I dont know what else this is

How many days in a row have you spent with your family? Cos that'll do it.

Not disparaging your family of course. Just families in general. Especially ones with small children in them.

Been about 12 days now I guess.. with a few long days at work in between. Which isn't helping, also i just realised I've been there nearly 10 years and I still have no idea why.

After actually typing 'depression' I pretty much cried quietly for 10 minutes while the kids had breakfast downstairs.
I don't have anyone to talk to about this.
I don't want to talk to anyone about it either.

Anyway I took the kids swimming in the morning and we played games this afternoon which helped.

Cheers for the offer BK.

Have some internet hugs, Trav. It's tough and I really hope it's only temporary, but know that the forum is always here if you do end up wanting to talk and there's nothing wrong with seeking professional help. It may seem not important enough or like there's nothing to talk about, but sometimes verbalising what you are feeling can be a relief. Try to get what downtime you can manage. All the best to you!

[Traveller]

Puck, on 30 December 2019 - 08:54 PM, said:

Traveller, on 30 December 2019 - 07:59 PM, said:

Mezla PigDog, on 30 December 2019 - 06:24 PM, said:

Traveller, on 30 December 2019 - 08:04 AM, said:

Depression bad today. Finally used that word cause I dont know what else this is

How many days in a row have you spent with your family? Cos that'll do it.

Not disparaging your family of course. Just families in general. Especially ones with small children in them.

Been about 12 days now I guess.. with a few long days at work in between. Which isn't helping, also i just realised I've been there nearly 10 years and I still have no idea why.

After actually typing 'depression' I pretty much cried quietly for 10 minutes while the kids had breakfast downstairs.
I don't have anyone to talk to about this.
I don't want to talk to anyone about it either.

Anyway I took the kids swimming in the morning and we played games this afternoon which helped.

Cheers for the offer BK.

Have some internet hugs, Trav. It's tough and I really hope it's only temporary, but know that the forum is always here if you do end up wanting to talk and there's nothing wrong with seeking professional help. It may seem not important enough or like there's nothing to talk about, but sometimes verbalising what you are feeling can be a relief. Try to get what downtime you can manage. All the best to you!

Thank you, means a lot.

Got to get through next two days at work. Getting up and going in new years day mornings not going to be easy.

[Maark Abbott]

I do wonder if I am marginally in the same boat after this year. I guess doggedly fighting on is how I deal with it, but there are days that it's definitely harder to do so.

Go safe, Trav.

[Abyss]

For what it's worth, i'd suggest that perhaps this...

Traveller, on 30 December 2019 - 07:59 PM, said:

... I took the kids swimming in the morning and we played games this afternoon...
...

...gives answer to this...

Traveller, on 30 December 2019 - 07:59 PM, said:

... i just realised I've been there nearly 10 years and I still have no idea why.

...because there are many who cannot do the former because their lives are consumed by the fact of, or lack of, the latter.

[Tsundoku]

Stupid car won't play music from my phone over bluetooth. Just when I went and figured out how to do it - my model of car only enables phone calls over BT, not playing media files.

Argh, going to have to take a stack of CDs again for the drive south to Brisvegas.

Stupid first world problems - taking my mind off the fact my Dad and his partner and their 4 grandkids they have staying with them at the moment may have to evacuate tomorrow if the fires get worse.
Which is the prediction given the really nasty forecast for tomorrow's weather. It was only March 2018 when the last fires went close to their place.

[Andorion]

Tsundoku, on 02 January 2020 - 11:54 AM, said:

Stupid car won't play music from my phone over bluetooth. Just when I went and figured out how to do it - my model of car only enables phone calls over BT, not playing media files.

Argh, going to have to take a stack of CDs again for the drive south to Brisvegas.

Stupid first world problems - taking my mind off the fact my Dad and his partner and their 4 grandkids they have staying with them at the moment may have to evacuate tomorrow if the fires get worse.
Which is the prediction given the really nasty forecast for tomorrow's weather. It was only March 2018 when the last fires went close to their place.

Does it have a USB slot?
Rip CDs to the pendrive and play it from there

[Aptorian]

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

[Abyss]

Give me a minute, i'll see whether the remote control/detonation circuits are messing with the bluetooth again.

[Malankazooie]

The daily news about the fires in Australia. Hope our members from those parts are safe and out of harms way.