[Kanubis]

QT, I doubt he's anymore a spoiled little shit than kids could be in the pre-internet generations. To us slightly more mature folk I think it just grates on us a little more when they're buried in a tablet/smartphone!

This post has been edited by Kanubis: 23 July 2014 - 04:31 PM

[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 23 July 2014 - 02:01 PM, said:

Yesterday I was on the subway when an elderly woman and what I assume was her grandson (probably 11 or 12 years old) got on and sat in front of me. The kid had a minecraft sword sticking out of his bag, and proceeded to pull out a fully apped iPhone and begin playing a game. The grandmother began engaging him in conversation. She asked what the thing was sticking out of his bag and he told her it was a minecraft sword. She asked how much it was, and he said $25, but that he had gotten two and so it was $50 altogether. She "Hmmm'd" and he continued quasi-ignoring her while he played his game. Then she asked about what else he'd gotten for "day camp" (presumably his summer activity) and he rattled off a bunch of other things of varying expense, and when the grandmother tallied them up in her head she came out and said "That's about $500 worth of things you got." And the kid shrugged his shoulders. Then the grandmother made reference to the fact that the kids parents were separated/divorced and then it started to click. His grandmother says "You are taking advantage of your mother. You know that don't you?" and he says "No, I'm not. I need this stuff. I deserve this stuff." and she tried to reiterate this and the kid basically was talking back. The kid continues to play his game, and then full on sneezes twice (no covering of his nose at all) and then pulls the neck of his shirt up and wipes his snotty nose on it. His grandmother offers him a napkin from her bag and he refuses.

Then Rob Ford got on the subway, sat down without looking and crushed him

Fixed to reflect what should have happened.

[QuickTidal]

Kanubis, on 23 July 2014 - 02:21 PM, said:

QT, I doubt he's anymore a spoiled little shit than kids could be in the pre-internet generations. To us slightly more mature folk I think it just grates on us a little more when they're buried in a tablet/smartphone!

I think you are almost certainly right. My inclination was to believe that it was I who was being older and crankier, and not that kids are any more disrespectful.

[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 23 July 2014 - 04:47 PM, said:

Kanubis, on 23 July 2014 - 02:21 PM, said:

QT, I doubt he's anymore a spoiled little shit than kids could be in the pre-internet generations. To us slightly more mature folk I think it just grates on us a little more when they're buried in a tablet/smartphone!

I think you are almost certainly right. My inclination was to believe that it was I who was being older and crankier, and not that kids are any more disrespectful.

You should have told him to get off your lawn.

[Macros]

Morgoth, on 22 July 2014 - 11:47 AM, said:

It's 29,6 degrees celcius in my office right now. How the fuck am I to be able to do work! I have three weeks of backlog to get through, it's almost 30 degrees in here and I'm in a suit.

I think I'll just pack up early and have a beer.

fuck you.
I'm on a 9 storey building and the lifts aren't in yet, its roasting and I am up and down those fucking stairs at least 10 times a day

[worry]

QT I think that's the script summary to the next Zach Braff movie.

[QuickTidal]

upworthywort, on 23 July 2014 - 07:32 PM, said:

QT I think that's the script summary to the next Zach Braff movie.

Probably. Title?

[Tiste Simeon]

Macros, on 23 July 2014 - 07:12 PM, said:

Morgoth, on 22 July 2014 - 11:47 AM, said:

It's 29,6 degrees celcius in my office right now. How the fuck am I to be able to do work! I have three weeks of backlog to get through, it's almost 30 degrees in here and I'm in a suit.

I think I'll just pack up early and have a beer.

fuck you.
I'm on a 9 storey building and the lifts aren't in yet, its roasting and I am up and down those fucking stairs at least 10 times a day

Have to wear a stab vest, thick black trousers (which are strangely inefficient at keeping the cold out in winter), thick heavy duty black boots and walk around 8 hours a day. Do I win?

[worry]

Kicked in the Shins

[Puck]

amphibian, on 23 July 2014 - 07:01 AM, said:

There's the possibility your mother is exercising a protective impulse towards your brother by being a complete jerk because she doesn't know how to express the frustration and fear in a way that you or your brother understand and would possibly change your behaviors as a result of.

People with serious communication problems are incredibly frustrating to be around - so much so that I found myself turning off my empathy, sympathy and understanding of their motives. That turned out to be a piece of the perpetual frustration machine that was me dealing with them (my father being the biggest source of turmoil). It turns out that if you understand what triggers them, how they express their feelings (appropriately/inappropriately) and what you do that really compounds the jerkish frenzy, you can lessen the rate of "bad incidents".

But having the physical distance really helps things. You're not there for them to get your goats and you can take time to carefully craft your words and presentation.

I know what you mean. Also, yeah, this is pretty much the reason she's behaving the way she is and I'm trying to take that into consideration and do what I can to not provoke anything, but there just are some things that are off-limits. What she said yesterday crossed the line, and I've endured some pretty nasty things from her. I tried to tell her I understand where she's coming from but got flat out told that she believes I have no heart, that I'm indifferent to her plight or if she drops dead or not, that I have nothing else but my own amusement on my mind.. At the same time, she expects me to stay with her and made me promise to 'not leave' her, expects me to finish uni and get a job close enough and well paying enough that I can stay and at the same time support her financially. Because that's what my brother did for our grandma, so it's my turn know.

What I'm trying to say is, yeah, communication problems I can understand, but it's not an excuse for downright nastiness. I know she's worried, but the answer to telling her that should not be 'Stop pretending, you don't care anyway'. So at some point I HAD to limit our interaction. I have stress enough without it. I have to finish uni so I can, ya know, get a job and earn money. All that while working two part-time jobs, trying to stay on top of housework and putting up with her antics. I have no private life. Never had one except maybe back when I was 16. It's a cage and it's spiraling downhill, and doing so fast. And what I'd normally should be able to talk about with my mother gets me statements like 'You're just imagining.' or 'You're taking yourself too serious.' So, yeah.

Also, she's not talking to me now, again. Yay for emotional warfare. Probably pissed because I did not deighn to come by her workplace when I was finished with work to report on the fact that I was finished with work and what does she want to eat for lunch and can I get her anything, maybe? Fuck knows. /sarcasm

Anyway, sorry for whining again. This should not be the place for that. But the only people I could talk to are just as busy as I am right now with trying to finish uni, so it's not my place to hang those kinds of things on them.

This post has been edited by Puck: 23 July 2014 - 08:34 PM

[amphibian]

Nah, lady, you go ahead and vent here. Those are nasty words your mother said from within her own misery.

You've got a tough workload ahead of you. If you can spend a ton of time at home in a separate room from your mother, that'll help with the friction.

[Silencer]

Yeah, don't worry about venting here, Puck.

Incidentally, if I didn't know better, I'd be starting to wonder if my mother and your mother are related, because all this sounds a bit familiar... XD

I will second amph's suggestion of doing in-house separation. It doesn't solve everything but it can help keep the number of confrontations down, or at least reduce them for a while. You just got to be careful not to be too obvious about it.

[Mezla PigDog]

Puck, on 23 July 2014 - 08:30 PM, said:

What I'm trying to say is, yeah, communication problems I can understand, but it's not an excuse for downright nastiness. I know she's worried, but the answer to telling her that should not be 'Stop pretending, you don't care anyway'. So at some point I HAD to limit our interaction. I have stress enough without it. I have to finish uni so I can, ya know, get a job and earn money. All that while working two part-time jobs, trying to stay on top of housework and putting up with her antics. I have no private life. Never had one except maybe back when I was 16. It's a cage and it's spiraling downhill, and doing so fast. And what I'd normally should be able to talk about with my mother gets me statements like 'You're just imagining.' or 'You're taking yourself too serious.' So, yeah.

Don't forget Puck that if it comes to it, there is no law saying you have to allow your parents to be a part of your future life. You didn't ask to be born or be obliged to provide for her in her old age, it's a 2 way contract that requires parents not to be total shits. It may not help in the short term while you are finishing uni but in the long term there is nothing to stop you from walking away. Obviously I don't know the full extent of your issues but it is an option. Having cut one of my parents out of my life it is not something that I would exactly recommend as it comes with its own set of problems, the main one being soul crushing guilt but I'd take that over emotional blackmail and uber-stress most of the time. It is also surprisingly easy in a practical sense. I wish I hadn't looked upon it as such a terrible last resort when I was going through the mill as it is one of the best things I ever did for myself.

It may sound like horrendous and defeatist advice and I'm not saying don't strive for a workable relationship but it is an option if all else fails.

This post has been edited by Mezla PigDog: 24 July 2014 - 11:33 AM

[Morgoth]

Threats of terror in Norway, if we are to believe the security aparatus. Hardly a fun prospect to begin with, and since I work in a high security building just coming and going is bound to be a serious pain during the NeXT few days.

[Tiste Simeon]

Another plane has gone missing. What the heck??

[Gothos]

Tisteon Simeonus, on 24 July 2014 - 12:49 PM, said:

Another plane has gone missing. What the heck??

[Andorion]

Briar King, on 24 July 2014 - 05:10 PM, said:

Tisteon Simeonus, on 24 July 2014 - 12:49 PM, said:

Another plane has gone missing. What the heck??

Where?

Algeria I think.

[Puck]

Probably crashed in Mali due to bad weather. There was also a plane crash in Taiwan yesterday. Seems like a lot, but possibly that's due to recent events that we pay more attention to that kind of thing

[Macros]

Idiots I have working under me.
I tell them what the principal contractor has pulled us on, and explain to them why we can't do whatever it is.
they proceed to do it anyway, and then complain when I pull them in for yet another meeting and give off to them about the shite I have to listen to over it.
then 2 of them fucked off at an hour and half early to go to the bloody pub, and got indignant when the boss sad they should take the train home

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Briar King, on 24 July 2014 - 05:10 PM, said:

Tisteon Simeonus, on 24 July 2014 - 12:49 PM, said:

Another plane has gone missing. What the heck??

Where?

If they knew where then it wouldn't be missing, would it?