Reputation: 1468
Has Done Shameful Things for Rep
- Group:
- Malaz Regular
- Active Posts:
- 9,999 (1.59 per day)
- Most Active In:
- The Phoenix Inn (2151 posts)
- Joined:
- 28-September 06
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- 75,222
- Last Active:
Yesterday, 11:21 PM
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My Information
- Member Title:
- Ribbit
- Age:
- 38 years old
- Birthday:
- November 27, 1985
- Location:
- Upstate NY
- Interests:
- Hopping around
Contact Information
- E-mail:
- Click here to e-mail me
- AIM:
-
thapaguru
- Website URL:
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http://
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Latest Visitors
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Tsundoku
27 Nov 2023 - 09:14 -
Lady Bliss
23 Oct 2023 - 13:56 -
Cyphon
30 Jun 2023 - 19:26 -
Whisperzzzzzzz
27 Mar 2023 - 21:32 -
Nicodimas
26 May 2022 - 03:09
Posts I've Made
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In Topic: So, the WHEEL OF TIME TV series is a go at Sony
Yesterday, 07:05 PM
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In Topic: What's messing with your groove?
04 December 2023 - 01:14 PM
TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 04 December 2023 - 09:43 AM, said:
We've got water coming into out loft in more than once place, as we discovered yesterday.
As a stroke of luck my dad is a builder, so he's kindly coming up today to have a look and see if we can do any temporary fixing as winter is not the time to be messing with substantial work on a roof. The house is only 30 years old so we're hoping it isn't anything huge, but it being in more than one place suggests it's more than a damaged tile or two. From an unprofessional eye it looks like perhaps the felting wasn't done particularly well as we can see gaps where the overlap is drooping away in several places (and one where we can see clearly through to the roof tiles), but if it needs to be redone that means taking the roof off.
Hoping for the best, but it's annoying. We keep finding things in this house that weren't done particularly well, or were done in such a way that prioritised cheap over sensible, but nothing to this extent. Grr.
I don't know how UK houses work, but in the US roof problems like this are possibly something that the sellers can have charged to them or the people who did the inspection possibly if it's egregious and not recent development. -
In Topic: Is it racist?
03 December 2023 - 01:52 PM
Perceived intent matters more than actual intent. Impact matters more than either.
To say intent matters more is to believe that a person always gets to define how their own actions are received, which isn't how any of us behave when we're interacting with people.
There's the classic example of a family gathering in which someone shares extremely bad news and another person starts laughing - leaving the first person very hurt. That initial hurt of "they're laughing at me" requires reparative work - perhaps an apology and an explanation that the second person is a horrible nervous laugher. Intent has to give way to impact of how the action or situation is perceived.
Being considerate of others doesn't mean that one can't discuss some truly tricky topics or express fears in the right situations. We have to use tact, recognize that being perfect isn't truly possible yet we can always act with empathy and preserve each other's dignity, plus being willing to change course when realizing that someone's being hurt is a great skill to develop. -
In Topic: Is it racist?
02 December 2023 - 09:37 PM
Lady Bliss, on 02 December 2023 - 09:02 PM, said:
Tsundoku, on 02 December 2023 - 08:43 PM, said:
IMHO speculation is fine, concerns are borderline (depending on the content/tone) and negative judgement is not.
I go back to that we don’t know WHAT was said as it’s all hearsay. Regardless, I have wondered if they might have said something that was never intended to be heard as a concern. It just made me “aware” that it could easily be a foot in mouth situation, that I definitely would want to avoid.
Intent isn't anywhere nearly as important as the impact.
I can intend only to do a funny thing, but if I throw an ice ball intending to miss you, yet slip as I throw and it hits you and damages your vision/hearing permanently, the impact outweighs the intent.
And note that my intent of a "funny thing" in that example is still a cruddy thing to do.
Focusing much more on impact instead of intent is what people who want to do good work for themselves and for others do.
I'm not going to carry water for someone who's as thoughtless and hurtful as wondering out loud to expectant parents about the body parts of their child + societal racism. Just keep it moving, deal with the fears with professionals, and give all the support one can to the new parents and the child. That's proper and loving behavior. -
In Topic: Is it racist?
02 December 2023 - 07:39 PM
You can wonder what your grandchildren will look like, but isn't the important part that you'll love them no matter what they look like? The fetishizing of certain body parts or certain ways of looking (being "blonde" etc) hurts people all the time.
What misunderstanding is happening when people with power express concern about the skin color of a future baby and how the parents will interact with the power structure afterwards?
The Royal Family should have said "We will love your child no matter what and we'll drive the racists into the stone age because you're our people and we love you." Instead it was concerns, leaks to the press, and exclusion.
I'm a half Nepali and half American person. I look white in most contexts. However, my parents always raised me to belong wherever I was and pushed hard at people who didn't go along with that. That's what a great family member does - not worry aloud about shitty treatment in a way that leaves someone else to deal with the problem.
Comments
Tsundoku
27 Nov 2023 - 09:14Tsundoku
26 Nov 2022 - 20:52Tsundoku
26 Nov 2021 - 22:43EmperorMagus
13 Apr 2015 - 21:01Terez
26 Nov 2014 - 09:15QuickTidal
29 Nov 2012 - 20:46Illuyankas
17 Aug 2012 - 16:02Terez
05 May 2012 - 04:34Terez
05 May 2012 - 04:11Greyfrog32
11 Jan 2012 - 20:26LinearPhilosopher
09 Nov 2011 - 03:48Guest
06 Jul 2011 - 14:53Have you seen Valhalla Rising?
Guest
06 Jul 2011 - 14:46HoosierDaddy
11 Jun 2011 - 06:43Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy
13 Apr 2011 - 14:24