[bubba]

very good thanks....

[Tiste Simeon]

I am but a servant of the people.

[Mushroom]

Anger Management

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn andyelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow rambler, and the car's parked right out in front." I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?" I said, "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole 1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

Then I called Asshole ..2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole," He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass," I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew. NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.

[Aptorian]

That is fucking amazing

[lokiman]

That. Was. Awesome.

[Tiste Simeon]

I am weeping. That was pure genius.

[Centzon Totochtin]

Love it!

[Lancelot]

women’s love poem

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

Mens Love Poem

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

[Aptorian]

Lancelot;323400 said:

Mens Love Poem

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

If it fits, I think I just found my new signature

[Macros]

thats brilliant.

[q21]

Zanth13;317318 said:

Shhh... Devil Woman!!

actually in my defense, (maybe not an hour but close I think)

Just reading through the thread and I saw this... did you just call be a woman Zanth?

[Raraku]

some more


A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven,
but not at all happy with his accommodations.
He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his
only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The
lawyer immediately advised that he intended to
appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting
at least three years before his appeal could be
heard. The lawyer protested that a three-year wait
was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf ears.
The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who
told him that he would be able to arrange an appeal
to be heard in a few days, if the lawyer was willing
to change venue to Hell. The lawyer asked: "Why can
appeals be heard so much sooner in Hell?"
The devil answered: "We have all of the judges."



Q: Did you hear about the new "morning after" pill for men?

A: It changes their blood type.



While leading the Friday evening services, the Rabbi noticed a member of
the congregation, Bernie, walk in with a St. Bernard dog. The Rabbi,
horrified, asked the Cantor to continue the service and went to talk to
Bernie.
Rabbi: "What are doing here with a dog?"
Bernie: "The dog came here to pray."
"Oh, come on." says the Rabbi.
"YES!" says Bernie.
Rabbi: "I don't believe you. You are just fooling around; that's not a
proper thing to do in temple."
Bernie: "Its true!"..
"Ok", says the Rabbi, "then show me what the dog can do."
"OK" says Bernie nodding to the dog...The dog proceeds to open up the
barrel under his neck and removes a yarmulke, a tallis (puts them on his
head) and prayer book and actually starts saying prayers in Hebrew! The
Rabbi is so shocked he listens for a full 15 minutes.
When the Rabbi regains his composure, he is so impressed with the quality
of the praying he says to Bernie. "Do you think your dog would consider
going to Rabbinical school????"
Bernie, throwing up his hands in disgust says,
"YOU TALK TO HIM! He wants to be a doctor!"



A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady.
He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his
cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. "No
sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," he
said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and
flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said,
handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found them in the hallway."

"Now," she said, "if only I could find my parakeet. "



How is being at the singles bar different from being at the circus?

At the circus the clowns don't talk...




An elderly couple walk into a doctor's office. The man tells the doctor, "Doctor, we want to have a baby." The doctor replies,"At your age I don't think it's possible, but I'll give you a jar, come back in a few days with a sperm sample." So the couple comes back a few days later.They give the doctor an empty jar. The doctor says,"I was afraid of this." The old man says,"No, it's not what you think. I tried it with my left hand. I tried it with my right hand. She tried it with her left hand. She tried it with her right hand. She tried it with her teeth in. She tried it with her teeth out. But we couldn't get the lid off the jar."

[Tiste Simeon]

Not sure if I have posted this before, but here goes anyway.

A couple who are about to get married die and go to heaven. A bit miffed about not having got married, they speak to St. Peter about it. "Are we allowed to get married in heaven?" they ask.
"Not sure" he replied, "but I will ask around and get back to you on it."

A year goes by (of course heaven is outside of time, but for the purposes of the joke...) and finally St Peter comes to speak to them again. "Well I found out that yes, it is possible to get married here in heaven."
The couple are very grateful, but have one more question. "Well, we've been thinking that eternity is a looooong time, and we might not want to be married the whole time, so is it possible to get a divorce?"

"Oh for crying out loud!" Peter moaned. "It took me this long to find a priest up here, and now you want me to find a lawyer!?"

[Lancelot]

Extract from the Times

1 June 2008



Royal Navy Officer Saves Life of Army Officer in Horse-Back Riding Mishap



Reading, Hants. An Army Officer assigned to the Military Academy in Sandhurst narrowly escaped serious injury recently when he attempted horseback riding with no prior experience. After mounting his horse unassisted, the horse immediately began moving. As it galloped along at a steady and rhythmic pace, the officer, Lieutenant "Cos" Cosgrove, began to slip sideways from the saddle.



Although attempting to grab for the horse's mane Cosgrove could not get a firm grip. He then threw his arms around the horse's neck but continued to slide down the side of the horse. The horse galloped along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, losing his grip, the Lieutenant attempted to leap away from the horse and throw himself to safety. His foot, however, became entangled in the stirrup, leaving him at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as his head and upper body repeatedly struck the ground.



Moments away from unconsciousness, and probable death, to his great fortune a Royal Navy Officer, shopping at Sainsbury’s, saw him and quickly unplugged the horse!:eek:

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

The twelve commandments of flaming

1. Make things up about your opponent: It's important to make your lies sound true. Preface your argument with the word "clearly." "Clearly, Fred Flooney is a liar, and a dirtball to boot."

2. Be an armchair psychologist: You're a smart person. You've heard of Freud. You took a psychology course in college. Clearly, you're qualified to psychoanalyze your opponent. "Polly Purebread, by using the word 'zucchini' in her posting, shows she has a bad case of penis envy."

3. Cross-post your flames: Everyone on the net is just waiting for the next literary masterpiece to leave your terminal. From rec.arts.wobegon to alt.gourmand, they're all holding their breaths until your next flame. Therefore, post everywhere.

4. Conspiracies abound: If everyone's against you, the reason can't *possibly* be that you're a fuckhead. There's obviously a conspiracy against you, and you will be doing the entire net a favor by exposing it.

5. Lawsuit threats: This is the reverse of Rule #4 (sort of like the Yin & Yang of flaming). Threatening a lawsuit is always considered to be in good form. "By saying that I've posted to the wrong group, Bertha has libeled me, slandered me, and sodomized me. See you in court, Bertha."

6. Force them to document their claims: Even if Harry Hoinkus states outright that he likes tomato sauce on his pasta, you should demand documentation. If Newsweek hasn't written an article on Harry's pasta preferences, then Harry's obviously lying.

7. Use foreign phrases: French is good, but Latin is the lingua franca of flaming. You should use the words "ad hominem" at least three times per article. Other favorite Latin phrases are "ad nauseum," "vini, vidi, vici," and "fetuccini alfredo."

8. Tell 'em how smart you are: Why use intelligent arguments to convince them you're smart when all you have to do is tell them? State that you're a member of Mensa or Mega or Dorks of America. Tell them the scores you received on every exam since high school. "I got an 800 on my SATs, LSATs, GREs, MCATs, and I can also spell the word 'premeiotic' ."

9. Accuse your opponent of censorship. It is your right as an American citizen to post whatever the hell you want to the net (as guaranteed by the 37th Amendment, I think). Anyone who tries to limit your cross-posting or move a flame war to email is either a communist, a fascist, or both.

10. Doubt their existence: You've never actually seen your opponent, have you? And since you're the center of the universe, you should have seen them by now, shouldn't you? Therefore, THEY DON'T EXIST! This is the beauty of flamers' logic.

11. Lie, cheat, steal, leave the toilet seat up.

12. When in doubt, insult: If you forget the other 11 rules, remember this one. At some point during your wonderful career as a flamer you will undoubtedly end up in a flame war with someone who is better than you. This person will expose your lies, tear apart your arguments, make you look generally like a bozo. At this point, there's only one thing to do: insult the dirtbag!!! "Oh yeah? Well, your mother does strange things with vegetables."

The Golden Rule of Flaming

My flames will be witty, insulting, interesting, funny, caustic, or sarcastic, but never, ever, will they be boring.

Here endeth the scriptures.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Q: How many internet forum members does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 1,331:
1 to change the light bulb and to post to the forum that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.
53 to flame the spell checkers
156 to write to the forum administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this forum.
41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames.
109 to post that this thread is not about light bulbs and to please take this exchange to the lightbulb forum
203 to demand that cross posting about changing light bulbs be stopped.
111 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we are all use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this forum.
306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty.
27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs
14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs.
3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list.
33 to concentrate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too."
12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversey.
19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three."
4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ.
1 to propose new lightbulb forum.
47 to say this is just what this thread was meant for, leave it here.

[Raraku]

and some more


What does pizza delivery man and
a gynaecologist have in common?

Both can smell it but can't eat it




One afternoon this young girl knocked on the door of her neighbor,
to chit chat the afternoon away. She walked in and said my god you
look so depressed.
She said you bet I am, look what my damm husband sent me...six
dozen roses. Now you know what that means? I'm going to have to
spend this whole weekend on my back with my legs spread.
Now that's really silly, why don't you use a vase?




Q. Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
A. It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.




What does a woman of 40 have between her breasts that a woman of 20
doesn't?

A belly-button!



An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "can
you get pregnant from anal intercourse?"

"Certainly," replies the doctor, "Where do you think lawyers come from?"




The first time I went to a drug store to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn't sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, "Compared to what?" She held up one finger and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."
Then she held up two fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that." Then she held up three fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm about that big." She put the three fingers in her mouth and said, "You're a medium."



The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern.

"Paddy," he said, " I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day."

"Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done?"

[Shiara]

All too rarely, Australian and New Zealand airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

**
On an Air NZ Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants!"

**

On landing the hostess s aid, "Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

**

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways to leave the aircraft."

**

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Auckland, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

**

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Adelaide, a flight attendant on a Qantas flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as sh** everything has shifted."

**

From a Qantas employee: "Welcome aboard Qantas Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

**

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.

**

"Weather at our destination is 32 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Qantas Airlines."

**

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

**

"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children."
**

Heard on Qantas Airlines just after a very hard landing in Hobart: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what you are all thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault ................ it was the asphalt!"

**

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

**

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying United. He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had got off except for an old lady walking with a cane.
She said," Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"

**
After a real crusher of a landing in Sydney, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tyre smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

**

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement:

"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurised metal tube, we hope you'll think of Qantas."

**

A plane was taking off from Mascot Airport After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number XYZ, non-stop from Sydneyto Auckland. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax - SHIT! AARRGHH! F***, OH, MY GOD!"
Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but, while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in economy said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

[Bhurnae]

An oldie passed to me ages by a nutty Kiwi
Last one is my favourite

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit. (This one's great, too!)
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[Lancelot]

Made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school
system.

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started
to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together .
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.


Part 2. These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

5 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'

14 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

13 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

8 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.'

6 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

5 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of
yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'

AND THE WINNER IS....

1 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here.'

[Flawed]

Ahem.........

Q: Did you hear about the comedian owl?
A: He was a real hoot.

Q: Why did the cat sit on the computer?
A: To keep an eye on the mouse.

Q: Where do American cows come from?
A: Moo York.

Q: What happened when the dog wandered into the flea circus?
A: He stole the whole show.

Q: What's faster: heat or cold?
A: Heat. You can catch a cold.

Q: Where do you go to replace a missing chess piece?
A: The Pawn Shop.

Q: Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
A: He's all right now.

Q: What happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles?
A: U.C.L.A.

Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?
A: In the ark hives.

-----

Confucius Say .......
- Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
- Man who run in front of car get tired.
- Man who run behind car get exhausted.
- Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
- Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
- Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
- Man with one chopstick go hungry.
- Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
- War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
- Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
- It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
- Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
- Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
- Man who life in glass house should change clothes in basement.
- Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
- Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
- Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.