[Aptorian]

I think it was Assail that joined the marines.

[champ]

From the Board Statistics section of the front page...

Online At Once Record
3,541
25 August 2020 - 09:09 AM

That's got to be wrong surely?

[Tsundoku]

Yeah I saw that and wondered wtf it was about. Has to be a glitch. Or the entirety of the Malazan Reddit and Facebook groups did a raid and found noone here.

[Shinrei]

RodeoRanch lost his pants
being attacked by critters most feral
being down on his luck
he returned to his truck
to seek some decent apparel.

[Abyss]

champ, on 16 July 2021 - 12:50 PM, said:

From the Board Statistics section of the front page...

Online At Once Record
3,541
25 August 2020 - 09:09 AM

That's got to be wrong surely?

Tsundoku, on 16 July 2021 - 01:38 PM, said:

Yeah I saw that and wondered wtf it was about. Has to be a glitch. Or the entirety of the Malazan Reddit and Facebook groups did a raid and found noone here.

I SAID I WAS SORRY DAMMIT

[Malankazooie]

Hey, what's going on here? I had to post this from the library on their community computers running Windows 95. When I tried to post from home a security block wouldn't let me. Something about the clock not being set correctly on the server.

At the library I had to wait for a creepy dude in a raincoat to get done with whatever he was doing on the computer. I didn't want to pry or be annoying so I just politely loitered in the area leafing through various books and magazines. He finally left and I was able to get on the forum. The mouse was yucky and sticky for some reason. He must have been eating a morning sweet, maybe a cinnamon bun? Don't know, didn't smell like cinnamon.

[Cougar]

Yeah, kids, the security certificate has expired because we forgot to put 50p in the meter. Normal shitness will resume shortly.

[Tsundoku]

Cougar, on 28 August 2021 - 07:02 PM, said:

Yeah, kids, the security certificate has expired because we forgot to put 50p in the meter. Normal shitness will resume shortly.

Reminds me of that episode of the Young Ones when they went to the laundromat and couldn't come up with a couple of coins in the end.

Washing Machine:
[spits out the guys' dirty clothes] No way!

Neil:
Oh, wow! Techno-fear! It's happening again, all the machines are ganging up on me! Vyvyan!

Vyvyan:
Get out of the way, Neil! Me and machinery have a very special understanding. Now then, don't give me any gyp, you bastard. [All the machines close on them] Oh dear! [clears throat] This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence. [to machine] Oh, la-di-dah! Look what I found in my laundry bag! All of Felicity Kendal's underwear, and it needs a good wash!

Washing Machine:
[opens up] Phwoar!

Vyvyan:
Now!

[Rick and Mike frantically load the clothes into the machine while Vyvyan and Neil hold it open]

Then the next step is "insert 2 x 50p pieces" or something and of course noone has any money ...