[Gust Hubb]

Been a while. Hello.

So now that I am a father to 4 kids (2 step) all internet gaming capable, I would like to learn more about what is new and what I need to watch over. Roblox and Minecraft are the 2 biggies I know of (and i know the latter very well), but does anyone have parenting tips to keep my kids safe?

[Malankazooie]

You're gonna get to know Fortnite better than any of us, it's unavoidable.

[Gust Hubb]

Malankazooie, on 26 March 2019 - 11:08 PM, said:

You're gonna get to know Fortnite better than any of us, it's unavoidable.

Don't I know it. One of the kids is fucking sneaky too.

[worry]

Don't let your kids use voice chat with strangers, period. Supervise (not necessarily always, but on occasion) even when they're just playing with friends. Never let them watch gamer vids on Twitch or Youtube without supervision, as best you can.

[Whisperzzzzzzz]

worry, on 26 March 2019 - 11:37 PM, said:

Don't let your kids use voice chat with strangers, period.

I think this really depends on the game and the community. Some of my most welcoming and formative social experiences when I was 11-14* were from participating in small gaming communities (Runescape, MUDs, and military sims).

The only community that was primarily voice was milsims, but they all had TS/Mumble/Ventrilo servers that I joined. And yes, there were plenty of assholes, but more nice people.

As long as you're not being annoying (and, unfortunately, as long as your voice is not very high-pitched), you can have great experiences in communities like that.

Most matchmaking-style games are a totally different story though. Those should be played with all incoming voice disabled lol.

*I wouldn't let my hypothetical kids play communication-based multiplayer games before around this age.

This post has been edited by Whisperzzzzzzz: 27 March 2019 - 01:14 AM

[worry]

Yah I can see how it depends, but he did mention Fortnite! I was thinking along the lines of Xbox Live etc. where you're not necessarily in communities. But also I thought GH's kids were still much younger than that range, but maybe my head is stuck in the past. If they're more in the 10+ age range, easing off a little is probably better as long as you still do some supervising and keep the lines of communication open (specifically asking questions you get answers to, not like "How was it?" / "Fine" type communication). You can't be perfect, kids that age are bound to do things behind their parents back, and all that kinda stuff. I'm not saying be a hardass, but be vigilant because toxicity is rampant.

Edit: Ah I see your edit! Yah I think we're on the same page.

This post has been edited by worry: 27 March 2019 - 01:21 AM

[Whisperzzzzzzz]

You raise a good question, Worry. Gust, what ages are we talking about here?

[Gust Hubb]

5 to 10. I was just unsure what exactly to watch out for and how to best restrict without being a technological caveman.

[Primateus]

My sister, who's a teacher, told me that her daughter's friends would set the alarm on their phones to 4 in the morning so they could get up and play Fortnite before school.

My sister's solution to this is simple. Only her daugther, who is her eldest child, has a cellphone, and she is not allowed to keep it in her room.

Also, obviously, her kids don't have computers capable of online gaming.

[Mezla PigDog]

Gust Hubb, on 27 March 2019 - 03:00 AM, said:

5 to 10. I was just unsure what exactly to watch out for and how to best restrict without being a technological caveman.

The reading I have done on it says to ensure gaming takes place in a communal part of the house where you can generally be around to witness any unhealthy behaviour. Good luck, it's a scary thing!

And welcome back, hope everything is going well!

[Aptorian]

Any computer is capable of online gaming and kids don't need to do own games to play them any longer.

At the library I work at kids will access mirror sites that allow them to somehow remote access sites that let them play counter strike, fortnite and other weird stuff I don't even recognize.

Doesn't matter if we try to block sites or deny programs from running on our systems, kids find a way to game.

[Macros]

personally I would simply take the power lead away at night time so they can't play outside of the hours you allow

[Cause]

Not a parent so take with a grain of salt but I am an avid gamer and have spent time with my cousins.

I think its hard to police, maybe impossible. Your kids will probably understand their xbox and game better than you so fiddling with content filters etc can sometimes be pointless.

I think 2 of the best things you could do is to play with them occasionally. Especially the younger kids. You would be amazed at how entertained a 7 year old can be with Minecraft but also have no idea how to really play the game. They will repeat the same actions endlessly. Playing with them lets you supervise, spend time with them and help explain the game to them all at once. Its also a good opportunity to do the second part in a way that seems less obvious, ask them if people are ever rude, mean, insulting etc. Remind them its just a game and the should have fun and explain to them that if they don't like the toxicity they can mute other players.

[Cause]

Macros, on 27 March 2019 - 09:58 AM, said:

personally I would simply take the power lead away at night time so they can't play outside of the hours you allow

I think there are products designed around this. Switches that can be programmed for certain times of day, remote control by an app to turn off and on. I have even seen one that takes tokens, each token is wirth say an hour of power and the idea is you reward your kid with tokens for chores etc. Always struck me a bit as experimenting on kids with operant conditioning.

[Traveller]

My daughter (8) has a kindle fire, which has the parental controls. You can allow specific sites, and we set the timer so it turns off at 8pm, as she's taken to sitting watching kids programs in bed. It's pretty robust - she can't get to anything we don't want her to.

We play switch games together, and they occasionally watch me play whatever I happen to be into, but so far the online thing isn't a problem. Early days yet for us though - my 6 yr old grabs the switch whenever he can, I find him engrossed in Pokemon or Smash Bros when I realise he's off being quiet somewhere.

I've always been against parents letting kids have tvs in their rooms - but free reign on the internet? No way. They're already being warned about things at school regarding Internet safety, and I've told them enough that my daughter already says she doesn't want her own phone (Not because she's worried, but because of the antisocial, dependent behaviour she's observed with both adults and other children.) I'm hoping that keeping them informed will help, but who knows.

(My neighbours kids are a bit older, and last summer, they had their bedroom window open, the curtains shut, and we could hear them playing something multiplayer, probably fortnite. Every day.. for weeks throughout the summer holidays. My kids are already pretty sure about my views on that!)

This post has been edited by Traveller: 27 March 2019 - 11:07 AM

[Vengeance]

Get a good WIFI router. Almost all of the new ones will allow you to disable the wifi for specific devices. No kids device should be allowed to be hardwired in. Disable the internet to their devices (this can be programed) at bedtime or whenever and then re-enable their internet access after homework is done.

I agree that games should be played in a communal room in the house where you can monitor what is being played and what is being said. Don't let them get on Youtube! Even Youtube kids is a horribly stupid place. Plus with the recent pedi crack downs on you tube kids comments it is very horrible. Just keep them away. When they get older.

[D'rek]

Maybe not at age 5, but eventually they're going to become interested in watching streamers/casters if they have friends that watch them. You can try to blanket ban it, but as Apt pointed out there are a plethora of mirrors and workarounds to get around Youtube or Twitch blocks - much easier to get around a website block than one for an installed program/app. There are family-friendly streamers/casters out there, might be worth researching some so you can guide/shape the kids' viewing rather than just stomping on it altogether and make them feel like they need to circumvent you, I dunno.

[Tattersail_]

My little girl loves to watch youtube. She asks if she can watch "silly things" which is what we call them. We encourage her to game, I let her have a go at Minecraft the other day but she's only 3 and she's never out of our sight. We wouldn't let her watch youtube on her own without us there. When she gets older she can play games or watch youtube in the living room when we are there but she's not having a TV in her room until she's past 10 years I reckon. Mobile not until she's past 13 and even then there'll be strict rules to adhere to. That phone will not be travelling with her at bedtime. She can leave it with mine downstairs.

This post has been edited by Tattersail_: 27 March 2019 - 03:55 PM

[Traveller]

YouTube is tricky - mine watch, but mostly supervised. I don't mind them watching funny cat videos and movie trailers, but if they're left to it they find all sorts of shit. My daughter, for some reason, ends up watching videos of people going down the biggest and best water slides around the world. That's pretty harmless I guess.. It's the slime making videos, or ones where two people try not to laugh while watching funny videos that bug me, just because they're so.. brainless!

Since they had a school warning about hidden scary stuff in kids videos, they just tend to stick something on netflix instead.

This post has been edited by Traveller: 27 March 2019 - 05:20 PM

[Maark Abbott]

Briar King, on 27 March 2019 - 04:11 PM, said:

I'm a horrible parent. Let mine run wild and even laugh(in a joking way not AT) at them when they're mom bust them and I find out. I don't really have to look at my sons tablet cause he is always showing me the fucking thing "Daddy look what car I just got." Etc. I don't want to look at my daughters phone. I prefer to remain under the illusion that she is still my baby girl at 15. Let her mama do the police thing on both.

Bad parent

"Daddy I just got IDW is she viable?"
"Lol son no"