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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#1521 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 09 September 2021 - 10:52 PM

'[Trump:] "Robert E. Lee is considered by many Generals to be the greatest strategist of them all. [...]"

[... Trump] went on to accuse "the Radical Left" of destroying "our culture" — [but ...] wasn't explicit as to who counts as part of "our" society.

Trump concluded, "If only we had Robert E. Lee to command our troops in Afghanistan, that disaster would have ended in a complete and total victory many years ago. What an embarrassment we are suffering because we don't have the genius of a Robert E. Lee!"

[...] Lee abandoned the United States, took up arms against the American military, and helped lead a war that killed hundreds of thousands of Americans. Lee did so, not in pursuit of honorable goals, but because he, a slave owner, believed in fighting for the South's commitment to the institution of slavery.

What's more, evidence of Lee's strategic "genius" is hard to find. He did, after all, lose after making dubious decisions. And while Trump may believe that Lee could've prevailed as a military leader in Afghanistan, Lee's only relevant experience is failing badly in a protracted land war.'


https://www.msnbc.co...ry-odd-n1278797




'Joe Biden? Really?'

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 09 September 2021 - 10:53 PM

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#1522 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 12 September 2021 - 12:59 AM

'Twenty years after 9/11, we can still hear Donald Trump's reaction to the terrorist attacks – and it was a strange one.

[...] called into the TV station WWOR to talk about the day's tragic events. Then, oddly, he turned his attention to the height of one of his properties, which he falsely claimed was now the tallest building in lower Manhattan.

[...] By the time of Mr Trump's interview, both buildings of the World Trade Center had collapsed after planes hijacked by Al Qaeda terrorists had smashed into them. Two other planes had also crashed into the Pentagon in Washington, DC, and into a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania, killing everyone onboard.

[...] Later in the interview, he complained about the closing of the New York Stock Exchange.

[...] Trump explained how he witnessed part of the attacks.

"I have a window that looks directly at the World Trade Center and I saw this huge explosion," [...]

"And even, I think, worse than that, for years I've looked right directly at the building. [...] And now I'm looking at absolutely nothing. It's just gone. And it's just hard to believe."'

https://www.independ...n-b1901790.html


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#1523 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 13 September 2021 - 08:09 PM

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#1524 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 16 September 2021 - 09:49 PM

'Conspiracy Theorists Now Believe Their Own "Justice For January 6" Rally Is A Setup By The
Government

[...] This Saturday, the far-right will congregate for the "Justice for J6" rally. [...] after their botched siege of the United States Capitol on January 6[...]


But despite the fact that the rally was created, sponsored, and endorsed by the most extreme members of the far-right, conspiracy theorists are suggesting that the event is a secret government plot to arrest more people involved with the earlier Capitol attack.


The users who frequent far-right Facebook groups and extremist forums such as TheDonald and 4chan are urging others to stay far away from the event.'

https://www.comicsan...2655044545.html

'Trump Predicts Destruction of America by 2024, Then Teases Presidential Run That Year

END IS NIGH

[...] shared his confused stream of consciousness in a Newsmax interview with former White House press secretary Sean Spicer. [...] "our country has gone really downhill in the last eight months like nobody's ever seen before," [...] "You go to these elections coming up in '22 and '24—we're not going to have a country left," Trump said. "The election was rigged, and we're not going to have a country left in three years, I'll tell you that." Spicer then frantically attempted to end the interview, but asked one last question about whether Trump will run in 2024 despite the possible nationwide apocalypse. He refused to say anything directly, but said that Spicer and "a lot of other people that love our country are going to be very happy."'

https://www.thedaily...l-run-that-year

'Jumping on the idea of Biden's reputation as "the great unifier," Trump—chatting with Spicer via phone—claimed [...] "He's the opposite[.] He's worse than Obama. Of course Obama is probably running the country now anyway, according to many."


https://uproxx.com/v...spiracy-theory/

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'Mike Lindell Repeatedly Tried to Get Ads Back on Fox. They Keep Rejecting Him.

NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS

After angrily yanking MyPillow ads from Fox in July, the pillow mogul has tried at least three times to advertise on Fox, but no matter what changes he’s made, they keep saying no.'

https://www.thedaily...rwaves?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 16 September 2021 - 09:51 PM

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#1525 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 17 September 2021 - 06:46 PM

Any story that begins with "my cousin's friend" should be given a reasonable amount of suspicion.

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#1526 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 21 September 2021 - 01:57 AM

'Pence tried every way he could to come up with a rationale to do Trump's bidding and refuse to ceremonially confirm the electoral count in the joint session of Congress on January 6th. On that morning, before the fateful rally that inspired the insurrection, Pence came to the White House to reluctantly tell his boss that he just didn't have the power to do that under the Constitution:

Gesturing at some of his supporters already gathered and shouting outside the White House, Trump asked, "Well, what if these people say you do?

When Pence demurred again, Trump mused, "wouldn't it almost be cool to have that power?"

[...] Trump watching the event unfold and being unmoved by exhortations to step in from everyone from his daughter Ivanka to House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, to whom he reportedly said, "well, Kevin, I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are."'

[... Trump:] "Our hearts and minds are with the people being persecuted so unfairly relating to the January 6th protest concerning the Rigged Presidential Election."'

https://www.alternet...1/09/trump-mob/

'Texas School Board Meeting Goes Off The Rails After Anti-Masker Starts Ranting About Anal Sex

[...] prompting the board to shut off her mic during public comment.

Kara Q. Bell previously ran for school board earlier this year. She has been known to spout QAnon rhetoric on Twitter.

She claims she is not a QAnon believer but has said Bill Gates "makes commercials promoting cannibal satanic worshippers and wants to track every move of #WeThePeople with Contact Tracing."'

[...] going off about a book in the [...] Middle School library [...] called Out of Darkness by Ashley Hope Pérez.

[...] "All right, not gonna lie, I had to Google 'corn hole' because I have the game in the back of my yard, but according to Wikipedia, corn hole is a sexual slang vulgarism for anus. The term came into use in the 1910s in the United States. It's verb form 'to corn hole,' which came into use in the 1930s, means to have anal sex. I do not want my children to learn about anal sex in middle school. I've never had anal sex, I don't wanna have anal sex, I don't want my kids having anal sex. I want you to start focusing on education and not public health."

At this point her mic was cut off.

But she continued to speak to the board through their interruptions'

https://www.comicsan...2655064783.html
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#1527 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 21 September 2021 - 04:23 PM

'Tucker Carlson claims US military vaccine mandate a "purity test" for "men with high testosterone"

Fox News host says mandates are meant to identify "free thinkers" and "sincere Christians" to exclude them from military

[...] Such people, he said, "do not love Joe Biden" and would "leave immediately".


"It's the takeover of the US military," [...]


[...] "[...] a new political purity test," Carlson said. "One designed to separate the obedient from the free. Can't have any of the latter category."


[...] Carlson also said he had obtained a US army slideshow about vaccines which he said listed "the so-called tenets of satanism which are taken from the Temple of Satanism website. So here you have the United States Army doing PR for satanists".


[...] Many observers pointed out then that numerous vaccinations are required to serve in the US armed forces.'


https://www.theguard...vaccine-mandate

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 21 September 2021 - 04:24 PM

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#1528 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 23 September 2021 - 05:54 PM

I would be embarrassed if I lived in the district this clown represents. Now that congress is back from late summer recess (fuckers sure do take a lot of time off), this carnival of dopes is probably going to dominate the news.

https://www.indy100....o-meme-b1925458
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#1529 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 24 September 2021 - 06:12 PM

'Sunny Hostin and Ana Navarro were abruptly asked to leave the stage of The View live on-air [...] just as Joy Behar was introducing Vice President Kamala Harris. When the show returned from an impromptu commercial break, Behar revealed that both co-hosts had just tested positive for COVID-19.

[...] a voice from off-camera asked Hostin and Navarro to "step off for a second." When Behar asked if should introduce Harris as planned, one producer's voice replied "yes" while another shouted "no!"

[...] "No matter how hard we try, these things happen, they probably have a breakthrough case. They're both vaccinated up the wazoo!"'

Behar promised that the vice president would still join any minute after the table had been "wiped down."

What followed was a chaotic attempt to take questions from masked audience members without microphones. "This is called live television," Behar joked as the situation further deteriorated.

At one point, the show's producer informed both Behar and her remaining co-host Sara Haines that they would be interviewing Harris "remotely"—even though she was in the building—out of an abundance of caution. But each time the show returned, she was nowhere to be seen.

[...] Asked if it's time to get "tougher" on mandates and "make life less pleasant for the unvaccinated," the vice president merely said that Americans should "be responsible," adding, "folks just need to get vaccinated."'

https://www.thedaily...kstage?ref=home

'Could Flattery Be the Legal Strategy to Preserve Roe v. Wade?'


https://slate.com/ne...e-justices.html


'Chaotic Arizona "Audit" Finds Biden, Uh, Actually Beat Trump'


https://www.thedaily...county?ref=home


'Rudy "Really Hurt" Over Being Banned From Fox News: Politico

Inviting Rudy Giuliani on air to spew his increasingly erratic stream of consciousness comes with the very real risk of falling foul of a billion-dollar lawsuit—and it seems Fox News has calculated that it's just not worth it. Politico reports that Giuliani has been banned from the network for months, but was only told about it on the 20th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks. [...] Giuliani's son, Andrew, who is running an extremely long-shot New York governor bid, has also been banned'


https://www.thedaily...report?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 24 September 2021 - 06:13 PM

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#1530 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 25 September 2021 - 12:55 AM

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#1531 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 26 September 2021 - 11:13 PM

'Trump suggested at a [...] rally in Georgia that he preferred Democratic voting rights activist Stacey Abrams to be the governor of the southern state over incumbent GOP Governor Brian Kemp.

[...] Trump reportedly pressured Kemp to work to overturn the will of Georgia's voters, but the GOP governor declined to support the former president's efforts.

[...] "Of course, having her [Abrams] I think might be better than having your existing governor, if you want to know the truth," Trump told rally attendees [...] "Might very well be better."

"Stacey, would you like to take his place?" [Trump] asked. "It's OK with me."'

https://www.newsweek...ps-kemp-1632786

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 28 September 2021 - 05:18 PM

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#1532 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 September 2021 - 05:17 PM

'Aide Would Play Trump Show Tunes to Calm Him Down: Book

Trump’s aides specifically designated a White House official to play his favorite show tunes to soothe his temper. The startling assertion has been made by Stephanie Grisham, the first press secretary in American history to hold no press briefings, who plans to release a tell-all book next week. The book[...] does not name the aide whose job it was to pipe showstoppers such as “Memory” from Cats into the Oval Office. But Grisham later identifies the official, nicknamed the “Music Man,” as her ex-boyfriend, and The New York Times reports that he is Max Miller, now a Trump-backed congressional candidate.

[...] During the leaders’ meeting, a top Trump adviser on Russia, Fiona Hill, leaned over to Grisham. Hill asked quietly if Grisham had noticed that Putin’s translator was “a very attractive brunette,” Grisham writes. “She proceeded to tell me that she suspected the woman had been selected by Putin specifically to distract our president.”'

https://www.thedaily...isham-book-says
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#1533 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 28 September 2021 - 07:37 PM

Aw man, you dropped the lead though. From that same upcoming book by that press secretary (who never did one press briefing. "Only the best people"):

Trump's Press Sec: He Called Me to Insist His Penis Wasn't Toadstool-Shaped

* link is to www.thedailybeast.com

And the batshit crazy just mushrooms < see what I did there? Posted Image.

- "Grisham writes Trump hid a colonoscopy appointment because he was worried about butt jokes."

- "Trump supposedly cuts his own hair with a massive pair of scissors."

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#1534 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 02 October 2021 - 07:29 PM

You guys read about that new pill?

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#1535 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 04 October 2021 - 08:58 PM

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#1536 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 06 October 2021 - 08:19 PM

'GOP lawmaker says COVID deaths are a Vatican plot — and vaccines contain "living organisms with tentacles"

[...] New Hampshire GOP state Rep. Ken Weyler is now facing bipartisan calls to be stripped of leadership — including from GOP Gov. [...]

[...] Weyler, 79, emailed colleagues materials full of COVID conspiracy theories, including a discredited, false report that claims COVID deaths are driven by a plot orchestrated out of Vatican City, Washington D.C. and London, [...] "It's all one huge puppet theatre, where the majority of the people — even most of those who are complicit — haven't got the slightest clue what is going on, and how everyone is being played," [...] the report says some COVID vaccines include 'living organism(s) with tentacles.'"


[...] Weyler also called the Catholic church a "criminal network" full of "Satanists" and "Luciferians" dabbling in "dark ancient spiritual practices."'

https://www.rawstory...n-conspiracies/


'"Trumpcoin" Scam From Fake Celebrity Accounts Is Fooling QAnon

FEVER DREAMS

The "Caligula"-esque coins are being peddled by faux celebrity accounts purporting to be Elon Musk, Mel Gibson, Kirstie Alley, and even Denzel Washington.

[...] puppet accounts are promising the little coins will skyrocket in value as soon as Trump retakes his rightful office, maybe to as much as $400 or even $10,000, send money now. Or, as the fake Denzel Washington account promises buyers, "THE LAST DAY IS HERE. The countdown has started. It's all part of the show, a show that will leave everyone speechless. Today is the last day and after this a lot of things will change...check the availability and order here at official Trumpcoins dot com."'

https://www.thedaily...s-fooling-qanon
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#1537 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 08 October 2021 - 04:27 AM

Holy snykees, Fox News is 25.



Remember that Glenn Beck guy? Whatever happened to him?

In the video she rapid fires a lot Fox News' biggest hits. I was trying to remember what fast & furious was about. Didn't that have something to do with military weapons being sold to drug cartels in Mexico?
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#1538 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 10 October 2021 - 06:15 PM

'Steve Mnuchin stepped in to prevent Donald Trump from appointing Ivanka to head up world bank

former Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin was forced to intercede when Donald Trump proposed appointing his daughter Ivanka to head up the World Bank.

The report notes that when the opening came about in January of 2019, Trump saw it as an opportunity to promote his fashion designer daughter.

[...] "Mnuchin often placed himself between the president and what the Treasury secretary saw as colossally counterproductive moves. His time as a Hollywood producer — making him a representative of the set whose approval Trump craved — gave him influence that others in the administration lacked."'

https://www.alternet...n-ivanka-trump/

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#1539 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 11 October 2021 - 03:59 AM

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<><><><><><><><><><><><>


'Let's Go Brandon' is the latest meme that Trump fans are using to mock Biden

* link is to www.indy100.com

This post has been edited by Malankazooie: 11 October 2021 - 04:07 AM

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#1540 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 14 October 2021 - 10:34 PM

Damn, I better empty out my savings. It's the right thing to do. But more importantly, it's the patriotic thing to do.

https://www.rt.com/u...g-text-traitor/

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