Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#461 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 19 December 2019 - 04:46 PM

'President Trump suggested that the husband of Rep. Debbie Dingell (D-MI)—the late former lawmaker John Dingell—was in hell after she voted in favor of impeaching him. [...] claiming that he gave the “A-plus treatment” when John Dingell passed away earlier this year. “I gave them everything. That’s OK. I don’t want anything from it, I don’t need anything for anything,” he said, before recalling that Rep. Dingell had called him to express her gratitude. “‘John would be so thrilled. He’s looking down, he’d be so thrilled,’” Trump claimed Debbie Dingell said, before quipping: “Maybe he’s looking up, I don’t know,” to audible groans from the crowd.'

https://www.thedaily...chment?ref=home

'[...] Trump started rambling about weak dishwashers. The president said that dishwashers don’t work as well as they once did, blaming regulations, and added that he’d found this out by talking to women. “Remember the dishwasher? You’d press it, boom! There’d be like an explosion. Five minutes later, you open it up, the steam pours out,” he said, according to NBC News. “Now you press it 12 times. Women tell me... You know, they give you four drops of water.” Trump was speaking in Battle Creek shortly after the House of Representatives voted to impeach him for abuse of power and obstruction of Congress.'

https://www.thedaily...ashers?ref=home
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#462 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 19 December 2019 - 08:14 PM

Trump's note to Pelosi and Christmas greetings.

One thing I'll concede to Trump - he has an eye for flair.

https://twitter.com/...391721539227648

Tax payer dollars being spent on this though. Trump voters, where's your outrage?

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#463 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 21 December 2019 - 07:17 PM


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#464 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 22 December 2019 - 06:57 PM

What a Christmas greeting to our dear leader.

Satellite photos show work on North Korean site linked to long-range missiles The new evidence comes as U.S. military and intelligence officials are increasingly concerned that North Korea is poised to conduct a long-range missile test in the next few days or weeks.


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#465 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 23 December 2019 - 02:19 AM

'Pro-Trump Evangelical: Sin, Not Carbon Dioxide, Is What’s Driving Climate Change


[...] On the show, Colbert said, “The devil knows what is in the word of God. I truly believe that because he knows what the word says—that toward the End Times, earthquakes, tornadoes, storms, all these things are going to happen as the birth pangs of the return of Jesus Christ—now the enemy is trying to change that narrative for the mindset of the people that this has to do with climate change, so that they can believe it’s something outside of their control that is happening.”

“The thing that man needs to do is repent,” Colbert continued. “Repentance would delay things, but because of this hard-heartedness and evil that is increasing, the birth pangs of the earth are getting worse. It has nothing to do with coal, it has nothing to do with climate change, it has to do with the sin nature that’s increasing in the earth.”

Colbert and her husband were both listed as being some of the “Christian leaders” supporting Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign.'

https://www.reddit.c...god_will_curse/
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#466 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 24 December 2019 - 12:26 AM

'When Giuliani got to his hotel in Vienna, he said it was 2:30 in the morning, and the first thing he did was search for opera tickets. [...] He sang me an aria from Rigoletto, one of the first pieces he fell in love with when he was introduced to opera in high school, as he theatrically conducted with his hands.

Over a sweater, he wore a navy-blue suit, the fly of the pants unzipped. He accessorized with an American-flag lapel pin, American-flag woven wallet, a diamond-encrusted pinky ring, and a diamond-encrusted Yankees World Series ring [...]

Giuliani, who is 75, is an informal White House cybersecurity adviser and a high-priced cyber-security contractor. [...] He accidentally activated Siri, who said she didn't understand his command. "She never understands me," he said. He sighed and poked at the device, attempting to quiet her.

[...] '"Don't tell me I'm anti-Semitic if I oppose him," he said. "Soros is hardly a Jew. I'm more of a Jew than Soros is."

[...] "If they're investigating me, they're assholes. They're absolutely assholes if they're investigating me," he said.

As he spoke, he fixed his gaze straight ahead, rarely turning to make eye contact. When his mouth closed, saliva leaked from the corner and crawled down his face through the valley of a wrinkle. He didn't notice, and it fell onto his sweater.

[...] The hostess led us through a hallway to the dining room. As Giuliani walked down the carpeted ramp, he fell over to his right and hit the wall. He kept on walking as if it hadn't happened. "My God, it's Rudy Giuliani," I heard someone say.

[...] Back in the black SUV, Giuliani directed his bodyguard to drop him at home and then take me back to my hotel. "Oh, look at those poor people," he said, glancing out the window to the park, where a man and a woman sat on a bench. "When I was mayor, by the time I was home, there'd be a call to the head of Homeless Services. [...]" The couple on the bench did not appear to be homeless.

"Do you have all three phones?," his bodyguard said as Giuliani stepped out of the car. "Yeah, I got all three phones," he said. "I gotta get down to two. I'm gonna try that tonight."

A few minutes later, as we made our way downtown, I saw from the corner of my eye the sun reflecting off of something. It was the screen of one of the phones, which he had left on the seat next to me.'

http://nymag.com/int...Is-JblyxZ7pvTCM

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 24 December 2019 - 12:27 AM

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#467 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 27 December 2019 - 07:00 PM

'Pelosi "has the right" to submit Trump to an "involuntary evaluation": Yale psychiatrist Bandy Lee

[...] "As a coworker, she has the right to have him submit to an involuntary evaluation, but she has not," Lee told Salon. "Anyone can call 911 to report someone who seems dangerous, and family members are the most typical ones to do so. But so can coworkers, and even passersby on the street. The law dictates who can determine right to treatment, or civil commitment, and in all 50 U.S. states this includes a psychiatrist.

"The advantage of a coworker starting this process is that a court can mandate a mental capacity evaluation before the dangerous person returns to work," Lee continued. "The committing physician is preferably the patient's treater, but does not have to be."'

https://www.salon.co...mXCtbzm59dkU9Lk

'inpatient civil commitment, which involves separation of a mentally ill person from society through placement behind a locked door'

https://www.ncbi.nlm...les/PMC3392176/

Shouting imaginary 'tweets' at the walls of his padded cell?...

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 27 December 2019 - 07:00 PM

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#468 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 29 December 2019 - 03:58 AM

'The president spent some of his Friday evening retweeting praise for himself, including one post from January 2018 with a picture of a man who appears to be Jesus Christ and a caption saying: "Obama kicked me out. Trump invited me back."

"I truly believe this man was heaven sent in order to save and protect the most gracious, benevolent, and in turn, prosperous country ever," the caption to the post said, referring to the president.

Mr Trump's decision to share the post follows a number of current and former Trump administration officials who have suggested the president was sent by God.'

https://www.independ...AModhZHlR3LoFvI

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#469 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 29 December 2019 - 08:38 AM

Have any of these people actually read any of the actual words of Jesus? Not sure he'd be thrilled by the republican attitude to the poor... And that's just for starters...
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#470 User is online   Tsundoku 

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Posted 29 December 2019 - 12:38 PM

View PostTiste Simeon, on 29 December 2019 - 08:38 AM, said:

Have any of these people actually read any of the actual words of Jesus? Not sure he'd be thrilled by the republican attitude to the poor... And that's just for starters...


It's called "cherry picking" and "rampant two-faced hypocrisy" Simmo. It's how most religious Americans can reconcile their country's terrible bipolar nature. That and selective blindness.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 29 December 2019 - 01:21 PM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#471 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 29 December 2019 - 12:42 PM

The Gospel of Supply Side Jesus
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#472 User is online   Tsundoku 

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Posted 30 December 2019 - 01:17 PM

Not quite Trump but fellow Antipodeans will get it:

https://www.betootaa...he-sydney-test/
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#473 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 02 January 2020 - 11:09 PM

'Navy SEAL granted clemency by Trump launches lifestyle brand

Gallagher has also opened an online shop to make fun of the Navy and the SEALs who testified against him, calling them “mean girls,” according to the Times. The Times last week reviewed and reported on footage of those who turned in the platoon leader in which they call him “freaking evil,” “toxic” and a “psychopath."'

https://thehill.com/..._Oy_Ay6fXrZnnjs
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#474 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 05 January 2020 - 06:06 AM

https://www.youtube....eature=emb_logo
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#475 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 07 January 2020 - 07:16 PM

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#476 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 07 January 2020 - 08:03 PM

'Jim Bakker To Christians: You Must Love Trump To Prove You're 'Saved'
"Trump is a test whether you're even saved," the disgraced televangelist told his audience.

That line seemed to go too far for some in his audience, who laughed out loud:'

video:

https://www.huffpost...KqCpc4DwGJNrp_c

'Lest the Muslim world think the United States had any good intentions at all, Donald Trump Jr. published photos of himself holding a semi-automatic rifle that was decorated to resemble a medieval knight's helmet, illustrated with a pattern of five crosses used by Christian forces during the Crusades, and engraved with the word CRUSADER.'

https://slate.com/ne...nnecessary.html

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#477 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 10 January 2020 - 09:13 PM

'A "confused'" Trump tried to take credit for the Ethiopian prime minister's Nobel Peace Prize

[...] "I made a deal. I saved a country. And I just heard that the head of that country is now getting the Nobel Peace Prize for saving the country. I said, 'What? Did I have something do with it?' Yeah," Trump said. "But you know, that's the way it is. As long as we know, that's all that matters."

Trump last year offered to help negotiate an agreement between the Ethiopian prime minister and Egypt's prime minister over a dam on the Nile. But Ahmed was awarded the prestigious prize for negotiating a peace deal between Ethiopia and neighboring Eritrea following 20 years of bloody conflict. Trump had nothing to do with these peace negotiations.'

https://www.business...aGm5NKuyfcQOIas
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#478 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 16 January 2020 - 03:59 PM

Question for you political wonks - did Trump ever name a new White House Press Secretary after this gem left? Or is that yet another cabinet position that Trump decided to neglect? I can't remember the last time I saw footage of a scheduled press conference. I know for sure the last time was Hucka-Sand though.


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#479 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 16 January 2020 - 07:58 PM

That is great photoshop right there.
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
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#480 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 16 January 2020 - 08:07 PM

View PostMalankazooie, on 16 January 2020 - 03:59 PM, said:

Question for you political wonks - did Trump ever name a new White House Press Secretary after this gem left? Or is that yet another cabinet position that Trump decided to neglect? I can't remember the last time I saw footage of a scheduled press conference. I know for sure the last time was Hucka-Sand though.


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Yes:


'White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham has rebuffed a recent CNN opinion piece from 13 former White House press secretaries, foreign service and military officials arguing for the return of daily press briefings.

"This is groupthink at its finest. The press has unprecedented access to President Trump, yet they continue to complain because they can't grandstand on TV," Grisham told Axios in response to the opinion piece. "They're not looking for information, they're looking for a moment. This President is unorthodox in everything he's done. He's rewritten the rules of politics. His press secretary and everyone else in the administration is reflective of that."
Grisham has yet to hold a single briefing since taking the role of President Donald Trump's chief spokeswoman in July, deciding instead to participate in interviews with friendly conservative television outlets like Fox News and One America News Network. Scrutiny over the lack of briefings has heightened in recent weeks amid escalating tensions with Iran.'

https://www.cnn.com/...onse/index.html

'Presidents and prime ministers can succeed by telling lies and avoiding any accountability in terms of public scrutiny. This is a global phenomenon – Narendra Modi, India's charismatic authoritarian leader, has never held a press conference. The White House press secretary has not held a briefing for half a year – not even in the last week, when the US has teetered on the brink of a war.

Politicians across the spectrum understand that there is little to be gained by subjecting themselves even to good faith questioning. When the Conservative government is reportedly considering no longer participating in a serious programme such as Newsnight because its new policy editor, Lewis Goodall, was active in student politics a long time ago, it is hoping to read the last rites over any type of difficult public questioning. Who would seek out this kind of scrutiny when they could just stick to their own accounts on social media?'

https://www.theguard...igns-fact-check

Of course he has other surrogates:

'Kellyanne Conway Melts Down Under Grilling by Fox News'

https://www.thedaily...parnas?ref=home

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 16 January 2020 - 08:09 PM

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