Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring Donald J. Trump & Co. - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring Donald J. Trump & Co. Laugh while you cry

#681 User is offline   Gorefest 

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Posted 11 March 2020 - 04:25 PM

View PostQuickTidal, on 11 March 2020 - 03:33 PM, said:

Bro, and this is just up to 2015:



Oh, I'm not arguing that there aren't more, I am saying that Tiste's statement is a bit optimistic. The list you give still is a large minority and doesn't cover a lot of 'civilised' countries. So there is still a long way to go.
She went and she left me like litter. She took all future summers with her. I lost all my money cuz I tried to bribe her. Now I can only afford an amateur sniper.
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#682 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 11 March 2020 - 09:37 PM

Oh no doubt. Definitely a long way to go. But to say "We want the right woman president because our enemies might mock us for having a female one" is a bit strange.
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#683 User is offline   Briar King 

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Posted 12 March 2020 - 12:16 AM

Meh how so? And I never once said “mock” you did.
Drive by bye bye king on my dumb horse
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#684 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 12 March 2020 - 04:25 AM

Posted Image
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#685 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 12 March 2020 - 06:00 AM

'The White House inadvertently aired Trump talking off-camera before giving his address, including him saying "ah, fuck" and asking if "anybody has any white stuff"'

https://twitter.com/...914103798288387



['Ah fuck. Ut oh! I got a pen mark. Anybody have any white---do you have any... white?---stuff?' So probably white out. But still, WTF....]

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 12 March 2020 - 04:25 PM

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#686 User is offline   King Lear 

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Posted 12 March 2020 - 04:18 PM

Attached File  tphoard.jpg (79.89K)
Number of downloads: 0



Very vaguely political comedy, but this is dedicated to the lady with four packs of TP in her trolley giving my partner a filthy look in the supermarket yesterday for grabbing the one (1) pack we needed for normal non-hoarding household use before she could take that too
*Men's Frights Activist*
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#687 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 12 March 2020 - 04:31 PM

OJ Siimpson is in the hoarding toilet paper game. Although, seeing him pushing a cart full of product that can absorb and clean liquids makes me extra uncomfortable ... if you know what I mean.

OJ Simpson ridiculed after stockpiling toilet paper and water amid coronavirus outbreak

Posted Image
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#688 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 12 March 2020 - 06:00 PM

'Sarah Palin Marks End Times With "Masked Singer" Performance of "Baby Got Back"

While President Trump was preparing to address the nation on a global pandemic, viewers who may have tuned in early on Fox saw a panel of judges attempting to figure out which celebrity just sang Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back” from behind a giant pink bear head on The Masked Singer.

[...] Then she delivered her rap performance one more time without the mask.

And yes the most surreal moment may have come when the show ended and Fox News anchor Bret Baier appeared on the screen. “This is coverage of President Donald Trump’s primetime address to the nation on the coronavirus, which the World Health Organization today declared a global pandemic,” he said, soberly. “Good evening. I’m Bret Baier in Washington.'
https://www.thedaily...f-baby-got-back
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#689 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 14 March 2020 - 05:42 AM

Posted Image
Posted Image


https://www.youtube....h?v=VcEnG7qxnLY


Pandumbic 2 : https://www.youtube....h?v=uxROKabhDP8
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#690 User is online   Aptorian 

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Posted 14 March 2020 - 06:21 AM

I think the font in those captions just gave me Corona virus.
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#691 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 14 March 2020 - 06:29 AM

'Health Experts Worry Coronavirus Will Overwhelm America’s GoFundMe System

[...] “GoFundMe is the bedrock of the American healthcare system, and as the number of Covid-19 cases continues to rapidly spread, we fear the servers just won’t be able to take it,” said research director Dr. Monica White, who stressed that if the pandemic were to grow any worse, there simply would not be enough $5 and $10 donations from sympathetic strangers to go around. “America’s GoFundMe system is already overburdened. There are only so many links from sick friends of friends we can share on social media before the whole thing collapses. We recommend that if anyone is suffering from minor financial strife such a medical debt from the cost of insulin or cancer treatment, you defer to those diagnosed with Covid-19.” At press time, GoFundMe employees announced they were working around the clock to ensure the health and safety of the nation.'

https://www.theonion...cERBNR_MJN0kHTk

[satire]
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#692 User is online   Aptorian 

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Posted 14 March 2020 - 06:43 AM

Okay. That onion article actually got me. Too close to home.
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#693 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 14 March 2020 - 04:21 PM

This could be the moment Trump gave himself the coronavirus (after shaking hands at CPAC):

Posted Image

Sloppily kissing the flag, he put his lips on his right hand....

https://slate.com/ne...oronavirus.html
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#694 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 14 March 2020 - 10:43 PM

Quote

Based on the total cost of President Trump's golf outings to taxpayers, he is the country's 10th-highest paid athlete. Taxpayers have paid about $152 million for Trump's golf trips, or roughly $50.6 million a year, records show. The No. 1 player in the world, Rory McIlroy, has been paid $12 million to ploay over the past two years.

-TheRoot.com

https://www.theroot....t-tu-1841793634
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#695 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 16 March 2020 - 04:50 AM

'Trump's Surprising Support in Prison
Americans behind bars tell us why they love the president.

Before prison, John Adkins, 43, didn't care about politics. He watched the news regularly but said he mostly wanted to see reports about the ongoing gang violence in Southwest Detroit, where he lived. Now, after 23 years in a Michigan prison for murder, Adkins is an ardent Republican and supporter of Donald Trump.

He credits conservative media for his political education. In prison, Adkins began watching the news again but soon grew sick of "the demonization of straight, white, Christian men on CNN and MSNBC and just about all mainstream media," he wrote, using the email system at Macomb Correctional Facility, where he is incarcerated. So he found himself drawn to right-wing shows such as The O'Reilly Factor and Tucker Carlson Tonight.'

Lol... (until Trump pardons this guy to join his martial law death squad, that is)

'The hosts' positions on key issues such as abortion (against)'

MAB (Murders Against Abortion)....

'and gay marriage (also against) won him over. But above all, Adkins says, he identifies as a conservative because he feels under attack by the left.

[... ] "Their rhetoric is what is divisive in this country, not Donald J. Trump's!"

[...] Some credited their political development to listening to Rush Limbaugh on a personal radio or watching Fox News on a shared television.

[...] picked up his political views from a Trump-supporting cellmate. [...] He considered his cellmate "very intelligent" and respected what he had to say. "He broke some things down to me. … That's when I realized I had wrong and ignorant impressions."

[...] "I also appreciate his honesty"'

https://slate.com/ne...upport-why.html


This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 16 March 2020 - 05:00 AM

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#696 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

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Posted 16 March 2020 - 08:48 AM

View PostAzath Vitr (D, on 16 March 2020 - 04:50 AM, said:

'Trump's Surprising Support in Prison
Americans behind bars tell us why they love the president.

Before prison, John Adkins, 43, didn't care about politics. He watched the news regularly but said he mostly wanted to see reports about the ongoing gang violence in Southwest Detroit, where he lived. Now, after 23 years in a Michigan prison for murder, Adkins is an ardent Republican and supporter of Donald Trump.

He credits conservative media for his political education. In prison, Adkins began watching the news again but soon grew sick of "the demonization of straight, white, Christian men on CNN and MSNBC and just about all mainstream media," he wrote, using the email system at Macomb Correctional Facility, where he is incarcerated. So he found himself drawn to right-wing shows such as The O'Reilly Factor and Tucker Carlson Tonight.'

Lol... (until Trump pardons this guy to join his martial law death squad, that is)

'The hosts' positions on key issues such as abortion (against)'

MAB (Murders Against Abortion)....

'and gay marriage (also against) won him over. But above all, Adkins says, he identifies as a conservative because he feels under attack by the left.

[... ] "Their rhetoric is what is divisive in this country, not Donald J. Trump's!"

[...] Some credited their political development to listening to Rush Limbaugh on a personal radio or watching Fox News on a shared television.

[...] picked up his political views from a Trump-supporting cellmate. [...] He considered his cellmate "very intelligent" and respected what he had to say. "He broke some things down to me. … That's when I realized I had wrong and ignorant impressions."

[...] "I also appreciate his honesty"'

https://slate.com/ne...upport-why.html




Christ
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#697 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 16 March 2020 - 09:10 AM

So basically brainwashing prisoners? Can see that ending well!

This post has been edited by Tiste Simeon: 16 March 2020 - 09:10 AM

A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#698 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 17 March 2020 - 03:10 AM

Marco Rubio's (verified) Twitter:

'Please stop spreading stupid rumors about marshall law.

COMPLETELY FALSE

We will continue to see closings & restrictions on hours of non-essential businesses in certain cities & states. But that is NOT marshall law.'

https://twitter.com/...553159154057216

His Twitter bio: 'Follower of Christ,Husband,Father, Proud AMERICAN, US Senator for Florida, #GatorNation & #FinsUp.'

https://twitter.com/marcorubio

That really is his Twitter, not a parody account:

https://www.newsweek...o-rubio-1492606

Does he leave the errors up on purpose?... to appeal to Trump voters?

'Discussing coronavirus response, Sanders accidentally calls it Ebola and Biden accidentally calls it SARS'

https://www.newsweek...alls-it-1492425

(It technically is Sars-CoV-2.)

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 17 March 2020 - 03:13 AM

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#699 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 17 March 2020 - 04:12 AM

He followed up with an apology that it was a typo and should have been marital law.

You..cannot...make...this...shit....up.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
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#700 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 17 March 2020 - 06:43 AM

Marital Law is vry vry srs bsns. It is known.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 17 March 2020 - 06:43 AM

"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

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