Malazan Empire: TOTAL FILM's list of 50 amazing films you've probably missed. - Malazan Empire

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TOTAL FILM's list of 50 amazing films you've probably missed. They're not wrong.

#1 User is offline   Binder of Demons 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 01:18 AM

Came across this link earlier today and was curious as to whether anyone here has actually seen some of these movies. Been looking through the list very slowly due to my crappy internet connection and total film's shit website, but they do seem quite obscure.

HOWEVER, some of the descriptions sound awesome.
Exhibit A

Quote

The Battle Wizard (1977)

The Plot: We're not actually sure how we're going to sum this one up.

20 years after having his legs cut-off by a warrior's laser-fingers, an evil wizard takes revenge by sending his lobster-clawed henchman to capture his enemy's son Tuan Yu, who has no interest in fighting.

Encouraged by a woman who throws snakes at people, Tuan Yu embarks on a quest to learn fighting skills.

This film also involves a scrap with a giant snake, a frog which can make you invincible if you swallow it, and a kung fu gorilla. And a wizard with metal chicken legs who can breathe fire. - someone call Illy

Why It's Amazing: Please see above.

Why You've Never Seen It: No idea. This should be the Star Wars of kung fu cinema.



I've only got as far as no 8 on the list and had to post this.

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#2 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 01:46 AM

I assume you meant to post the link: http://www.totalfilm...bly-never-seen/

I've seen one film on the list, Come and See, and it's one of my favorite movies of all time. WWII flick that follows a child soldier in the Soviet army through horror after horror. I am hesitant to call any film 'traumatizing' regardless of content, but this is the movie that brings me closest to doing just that. Really worth it though.

I did see the follow-up to #36, The Yellow Sea, and though it's not a sequel it does feature the same stars/director team. It was a fantastic true crime(ish) thriller called The Chaser. Both are on Netflix Instant, so I'm planning to watch The Yellow Sea soon.
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#3 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 02:05 AM

I never saw a god damn penny of royalties either
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#4 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 08:17 AM

This seems like a weird list. Most of them look like films that would not even have been popular when they were initially released. And at least half of them are 40 or 50 years old.

Using the words "amazing" and "classic" is probably a bit of a stretch.
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#5 User is offline   pathos 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 08:32 AM

Have seen two.... Kenshin and return of the hulk.

Kenshin was disappointing and i was about 5 when i watched the hulk?
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#6 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 08:36 AM

the list seems to include mostly trash films, horror flicks and kung fu flicks, kind of narrow a look... but some of that stuff reads pretty hillarious
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#7 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 08:37 AM

View PostMaybe Apt, on 11 February 2014 - 08:17 AM, said:

And at least half of them are 40 or 50 years old.

Using the words "amazing" and "classic" is probably a bit of a stretch.


Erm, so how is age of the films a bad thing?
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#8 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 08:56 AM

When you make a list of movies under the title "movies you probably missed" it helps if the things on the list were not all made decades before most of the audience were born.

Think of how many books, movies, music, etc. that are released every year. You'd be lucky if you had time to check out 1% of that volume. That pile only grows ever more daunting with each year that passes.
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#9 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 09:25 AM

All the more reason for someone to find these gems and share them with others, yes?
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#10 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 11:43 AM

I have seen:


THE DEVILS HAND (it's mind-blowing)

MANBORG (not all of it, but it's Canadian, and awesome)

.....and that's it.

Wow. Thems is some B-movies.
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#11 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 11:45 AM

View PostMaybe Apt, on 11 February 2014 - 08:56 AM, said:

When you make a list of movies under the title "movies you probably missed" it helps if the things on the list were not all made decades before most of the audience were born.


What? Having not been born at the time they were out is probably WHY you missed them. Some days Apt, you are a weird, convoluted brother.
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#12 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 01:12 PM

The point of my argument was that of course we missed these movies they were released some time between the 60s and the 90s. Most of them were released before VHS was a thing. They are B movies. Horror or sci-fi or kung-fu, utterly forgettable drivel that nobody in their right mind would give a toss about 50 years later.

Except for that Hulk vs Thor movie that one is okay. I remember skipping school one time so I could stay an extra day with my father and watch it on cable.

Anyway, this is just random filler that magazines and websites come up with when they have nothing else to publish that day, week or month. There is nothing amazing about that list, other than the fact that the movies made it onto a list of amazing movies.

This post has been edited by Maybe Apt: 11 February 2014 - 04:26 PM

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#13 User is offline   Spoilsport Stonny 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 02:46 PM

I've seen THE BAD SEED. And it was really good. I like that film noir stuff. Awesome list Demon Binder. Have rep.
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#14 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 04:04 PM

Seen... Vigilante, The Power, Incredible Hulk Returns... can't say they rank as 'amazing'. Retro-entertaining, maybe. Just maybe.
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#15 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 07:04 PM

Sidebar:

Here is a short film from the 1930's called THE MASCOT (or THE DEVIL'S BALL) by Ladislas Starewicz...that I saw a few years back at a cinema club I used to belong to.

It is without a doubt the BEST stop motion film I think I've ever seen, and possibly in my top five all time greatest short films.

And it belongs in this thread cause it's fucked up and b-movie-ish. And it melted my brain when I saw it.

Enjoy!




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#16 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 07:05 PM

3rd and final part.


"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

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#17 User is offline   Spoilsport Stonny 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 07:37 PM

One can see the influence this has had on the Brothers Quay. I love it immensely.
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
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#18 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 07:58 PM

The TF list refers to movies you've probably never seen. The thread is called movies you've "probably missed". You're arguing about nothing, Apt.
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Posted 11 February 2014 - 08:08 PM

Red Beard is definitely not B rated drivel.

In The Bad Seed they had to change the ending because so many people were upset by it.
Spoiler

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#20 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 11 February 2014 - 08:14 PM

View Postworry, on 11 February 2014 - 07:58 PM, said:

The TF list refers to movies you've probably never seen. The thread is called movies you've "probably missed". You're arguing about nothing, Apt.


Curse you!
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