Malazan Empire: How do you post and/or poop? - Malazan Empire

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How do you post and/or poop?

#41 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 10:00 PM

Oh hell no, you need a solid ten minutes on the toilet at least.
if there's a book anywhere in the room then longer, big toilet readers in my house.

even at work I'll be ten minutes, a chance to relax and think about the world.
then rush on to the forum to post about it.
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#42 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 10:17 PM

Also enemas in general are bad for you, coffee or not, so avoid!
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#43 User is offline   Ukjent 

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 10:27 PM

2 min to take a shit? Wow, When you take a dump at home theres always something laing around magazines and cartoons to entertain you and the time flies .
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#44 User is offline   Gust Hubb 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 03:23 AM

View PostSatan, on 15 July 2013 - 09:07 AM, said:

Morning poop. First time in years I've slept to 11am. Feels like the entire day is gone.

Also, I don't know if I've made my point succinctly enough, but I poop a lot - roughly 6-10 times a day. But my digestive system is massively fucked up, so this poop-off was rigged from the beginning. There's nothing wrong with pooping every other day BK. I would imagine you should be a bit more wary of constipation, but if you don't have any problems with that I wouldn't give it another thought. Normal people poop something like twice a day to every other day.


Sounds like worms... or giardia. Keep hydrated dude!
"You don't clean u other peoples messes.... You roll in them like a dog on leftover smoked whitefish torn out f the trash by raccoons after Sunday brunch on a hot day."
~Abyss

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#45 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 03:40 AM

Once a day, first thing in the morning before work, in and out in appr 5 minutes.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
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#46 User is offline   Obdigore 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 03:47 AM

Roughly, with little disregard for hurt feelings along the way.
Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.
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#47 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 04:18 AM

It's important to spend some time on the toilet. You get time to do stuff there that you wouldn't, couldn't or didn't want to do elsewhere. For instance, I read most of the theory for my drivers license test while pooping.

Doing my morning poop after a night on the sofa. I've never slept an entire night on the sofa. Usually when I fall asleep while watching a movie I wake up at the very end, just so that if I want to re-watch it later I now know the conclusion. Then I just shamble off to bed so I can sleep without my neck at a 60 degree angle. But not this night for some reason.
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#48 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 07:30 AM

Problem with smartphones, always something else to read...
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#49 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 12:32 PM

Just checking up on some transfer gossip whilst mid day pooping.
25 for fabergas seems like a steal in todays silly money market
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#50 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 12:46 PM

I saw that. Moyes wants Fellaini and Fabregas for 25 each. I imagine Fellaini will come, but Fabregas to ManU? Just don't see it. At least not to that price. Didn't Barcelona buy him for 24?

Afternoon poop for me.
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#51 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 02:56 PM

Sneaky afternoon poop/Malazan check at work. Too hot to be wearing a stab vest.
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#52 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 03:54 PM

I don't know what to think of you having to sneak a poop just because you don't have your stab vest on. For some reason I find that hilarious, but at the same time it is a sad state of affairs if a policeman can't take a shit in peace anymore.

After dinner shit for me. I'm home alone, so I neither sneak or announce it in any particular manner. Except announcing it here, of course.
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#53 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 05:05 PM

I was rudely interrupted in my poop earlier.
some bastard who had grief with the principal builder of the job rocked up and turned the site power off. Wanker.
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#54 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 06:33 PM

Before football poop. Always divest yourself of any extra weight before going out on that pitch. Never mind if it's just your mates, you should always play to win.
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#55 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 07:01 PM

People care about my opinion?
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
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#56 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 10:45 PM

Man that poop got awkward earlier. Got a phone call from my future employers while in the middle of it & had to answer and be professional without letting on that I was dumping. Think I managed it...
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#57 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 17 July 2013 - 11:35 AM

I love poop phone calls, especially when its a mate and pause them midsentence to tell them I'm pooping.

alas current site, the toilet has no phone signal, only WiFi so poopcalls are highly unlikely. I suppose a Skype call is possible but again, unlikely.


post lunch poop.
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#58 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 17 July 2013 - 04:35 PM

I hate talking to people while I'm on the loo. For the most part I just don't respond to people trying to talk to me then. And there must be a serious shortage of paper or reading material if I am to initiate contact with anyone. Except you guys. You guys are OK for a shit talk.

On my evening poop. Thought it would be my pre-gym poop, but I just decided it would be my pre-dishonoured poop instead.
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#59 User is offline   Ukjent 

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Posted 17 July 2013 - 04:51 PM

Remember the cozy pooptalk when I was in the army, take a shit, talk some shit. The chance of pooping alone was close to zero, ca 40 guys and 4 toilets.. . It felt natural then, but now it sound a bit strange.
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#60 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 18 July 2013 - 02:41 AM

All of the sudden I'm glad I didn't get in.

Doing my midnight poop (at half four).
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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