Malazan Empire: How do you post and/or poop? - Malazan Empire

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How do you post and/or poop?

#41 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 05:41 PM

Oh no, I'm a strictly tea-man. Nothing goes up my rectum but the the finest green tea from china.

Doing my evening poop, by the way.

This post has been edited by Satan: 15 July 2013 - 05:42 PM

Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#42 User is offline   Gnaw 

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 05:47 PM

View PostJean-Claude Van tiam, on 13 July 2013 - 06:48 AM, said:

Yeh the site is full of c**ts who dont give a shit about you or your life because theyre narcissistic, self absorbed wankstains so far up there own arses that there tonsils are wearing sun glasses.



You rang?
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#43 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 07:14 PM

6-10 is maybe a bit much I'd say I'm more of a 5-8 dumps a day kind of guy! My first morning dump normally about 25 mins though. Easily pooping the whole time too. Unless I wake up later... Strange!
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#44 User is online   BfuckinK 

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 07:50 PM

25 MINS!!!???

My God! I can get in bathroom, go, wipe, exit in under 2 mins. My friends use to time me and pick on me about that.
Drive by bye bye king on my dumb horse
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#45 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 10:00 PM

Oh hell no, you need a solid ten minutes on the toilet at least.
if there's a book anywhere in the room then longer, big toilet readers in my house.

even at work I'll be ten minutes, a chance to relax and think about the world.
then rush on to the forum to post about it.
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#46 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 10:17 PM

Also enemas in general are bad for you, coffee or not, so avoid!
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isnít me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like heís me. Look down, back up, where are you? Youíre in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. Whatís in your hand, back at me. I have it, itís an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. Iím on a quorl.
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#47 User is offline   Ukjent 

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Posted 15 July 2013 - 10:27 PM

2 min to take a shit? Wow, When you take a dump at home theres always something laing around magazines and cartoons to entertain you and the time flies .
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#48 User is offline   Gust Hubb 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 03:23 AM

View PostSatan, on 15 July 2013 - 09:07 AM, said:

Morning poop. First time in years I've slept to 11am. Feels like the entire day is gone.

Also, I don't know if I've made my point succinctly enough, but I poop a lot - roughly 6-10 times a day. But my digestive system is massively fucked up, so this poop-off was rigged from the beginning. There's nothing wrong with pooping every other day BK. I would imagine you should be a bit more wary of constipation, but if you don't have any problems with that I wouldn't give it another thought. Normal people poop something like twice a day to every other day.


Sounds like worms... or giardia. Keep hydrated dude!
"You don't clean u other peoples messes.... You roll in them like a dog on leftover smoked whitefish torn out f the trash by raccoons after Sunday brunch on a hot day."
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#49 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 03:40 AM

Once a day, first thing in the morning before work, in and out in appr 5 minutes.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
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#50 User is offline   Obdigore 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 03:47 AM

Roughly, with little disregard for hurt feelings along the way.
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#51 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 04:18 AM

It's important to spend some time on the toilet. You get time to do stuff there that you wouldn't, couldn't or didn't want to do elsewhere. For instance, I read most of the theory for my drivers license test while pooping.

Doing my morning poop after a night on the sofa. I've never slept an entire night on the sofa. Usually when I fall asleep while watching a movie I wake up at the very end, just so that if I want to re-watch it later I now know the conclusion. Then I just shamble off to bed so I can sleep without my neck at a 60 degree angle. But not this night for some reason.
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#52 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 07:30 AM

Problem with smartphones, always something else to read...
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#53 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 12:32 PM

Just checking up on some transfer gossip whilst mid day pooping.
25 for fabergas seems like a steal in todays silly money market
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#54 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 12:46 PM

I saw that. Moyes wants Fellaini and Fabregas for 25 each. I imagine Fellaini will come, but Fabregas to ManU? Just don't see it. At least not to that price. Didn't Barcelona buy him for 24?

Afternoon poop for me.
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#55 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 02:56 PM

Sneaky afternoon poop/Malazan check at work. Too hot to be wearing a stab vest.
A Haunting Poem
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For I Scream.
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#56 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 03:54 PM

I don't know what to think of you having to sneak a poop just because you don't have your stab vest on. For some reason I find that hilarious, but at the same time it is a sad state of affairs if a policeman can't take a shit in peace anymore.

After dinner shit for me. I'm home alone, so I neither sneak or announce it in any particular manner. Except announcing it here, of course.
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#57 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 05:05 PM

I was rudely interrupted in my poop earlier.
some bastard who had grief with the principal builder of the job rocked up and turned the site power off. Wanker.
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#58 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 06:33 PM

Before football poop. Always divest yourself of any extra weight before going out on that pitch. Never mind if it's just your mates, you should always play to win.
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#59 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 07:01 PM

People care about my opinion?
PUST: Go forth, Hounds of Life! Go forth and do my bidding!
CHASE: (quietly) I dunno pups... he seems to be bidding us to hurt a bunch of people.
MARSHALL: So? I mauled Mayor Humdinger's face and set him on fire that one time and he was totally fine the next week.
CHASE: Good point. (louder) OK pups, Paw Patrol is on a roll!
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#60 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 16 July 2013 - 10:45 PM

Man that poop got awkward earlier. Got a phone call from my future employers while in the middle of it & had to answer and be professional without letting on that I was dumping. Think I managed it...
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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