Malazan Empire: Malazan BBQ 2013: The Crucible of Pressure and Need - Malazan Empire

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Malazan BBQ 2013: The Crucible of Pressure and Need Rate Topic: -----

#21 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 09:54 AM

View PostStalking Stonny, on 12 February 2013 - 11:09 PM, said:

I think it would be neat if you guys shared some of your history with new people to the board and malazan. It seems like many of u have lnown each other for quite some time, and you all are pretty tight. I dont lurk on other boards, jjust this one, so i dont l know if yr on other boards but according to past coversations you guys have built up quote a near relationship. Did it grow around MBotF or another series? Also is this a result of being uK based? Or do people come from all over?

I would never presume that i would be welcome, and im kinda reclusive anyway, so my main interest in this is purely just informational. Besides my bbq ribs would blow your collective minds.


The history stems from this very forum, nobody knew each other before here. Way back in time (2003/2004 maybe) there was a meetup in Manchester. I think nearly all of the original members from that meetup are no longer with us (in internet terms, they didn't all die as far as I know) and were all UK based. A few years later there was another one which then evolved into a Christmas tradition, one or two people came from overseas. After that Hetan and Malaclypse had a lapse of good sense and invited anyone who could make it to a BBQ at their place. Since then it has become an annual thing for as long as Hetan and Mal can cope with us and the core attendees are a handful of UK people (and Morgoth who likes to sponge of Hetan & Mal's goodwill :) and Dag) and then the occasional international person who makes the trip specially or who ties it in with travelling around the UK anyway. The Manchester Christmas meetup moved to London last year since various people have migrated away from the Holy Land. We meet occasionally through the year for random events if people live close to each other or if there's a book signing or similar but I think our prime years are behind us (unless people are meeting without telling me!) - newbies are always welcome at the random events out and about, all you need is the resolve to spend a day with weirdos off t'internet and a strong stomach.
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#22 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 01:33 PM

We meet weekly and talk about you mezla, then drink Gin and laugh uproariously at your expense.
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#23 User is offline   pathos 

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 01:37 PM

Do you say things like "remember when Mez puked on the dog?"
You never have the same problem twice when you set it on fire
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#24 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 02:55 PM

Mostly we consider what traumatic experience in life has led to her being unable to put on her own shoes
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#25 User is offline   pathos 

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Posted 14 February 2013 - 03:00 PM

View PostMacros, on 14 February 2013 - 02:55 PM, said:

Mostly we consider what traumatic experience in life has led to her being unable to put on her own shoes


Hey! That is a real problem with doctors and everything okay!
You never have the same problem twice when you set it on fire
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#26 User is offline   Messremb 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 12:37 AM

View PostMezla PigDog, on 14 February 2013 - 09:54 AM, said:

The history stems from this very forum, nobody knew each other before here. Way back in time (2003/2004 maybe) there was a meetup in Manchester. I think nearly all of the original members from that meetup are no longer with us (in internet terms, they didn't all die as far as I know) and were all UK based.

I'm getting June 2004 from my photos so going to roll with that for a date. I think Mappo re-registered at some point in the last few years didn't he, but never really got into it again?
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#27 User is offline   Thelomen Toblerone 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 08:14 AM

How the bollix did I miss this thread first time round?!

I'll be there with bells on if you'll have me (and can deal with the incessant tinkling noise whenever I move) - and who knows, perhaps this year shall be the year of the bull's penis....
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#28 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 10:52 AM

Or just a recurrence of the year of the missing valuables
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#29 User is online   Tsundoku 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 11:26 AM

View PostMacros, on 15 February 2013 - 10:52 AM, said:

Or just a recurrence of the year of the missing valuables


Hence the tinkling noise when he moves ... :)
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#30 User is offline   Malaclypse 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 12:50 PM

View PostStalking Stonny, on 12 February 2013 - 11:09 PM, said:

I think it would be neat if you guys shared some of your history with new people to the board and malazan. It seems like many of u have lnown each other for quite some time, and you all are pretty tight. I dont lurk on other boards, jjust this one, so i dont l know if yr on other boards but according to past coversations you guys have built up quote a near relationship. Did it grow around MBotF or another series? Also is this a result of being uK based? Or do people come from all over?

I would never presume that i would be welcome, and im kinda reclusive anyway, so my main interest in this is purely just informational. Besides my bbq ribs would blow your collective minds.


First off, fuck off with this 'I would never presume..' bollocks - I bet you're a bloody maniac with a few drinks in you, and we're accustomed to those (looking at you Macros :)

Highlights:

Cougar always wins the arm wrestling contest and is obnoxious about it afterwards - so much so that last year, I think we collectively decided to take a "let's not and say we did" attitude towards it. Perhaps thumb-wresting is in our future.

We have somehow started a tradition of doing random stupid things as a group, completely unplanned, in the last couple of years. I blame Cougar for this as well, as the dunking one's head into the barrel of ice water and alcohol containers idea was his. Macros tried to kill the bringer of the cowsuit during this event. Last year was a fire-breathing contest which consumed my eyelashes, which is the lesser of two evils when it comes to Aquavit as far as I'm concerned ;p

Ah, the cowsuit...what a strange and wonderful thing it turned out to be. One year, my stepson showed up with a group of friends, one of whom was wearing a cowsuit - which was strange enough but Macros of course had to make it stranger - immediately upon seeing this young man he blurted something like " You're not worthy to wear a cowsuit, take it off and give it to me" - in an Irish accent this was hilariously funny. And, oddly, the lad did as instructed with no hesitation. It was weird. Dag had no recollection of the cowsuit until a photo surfaced of her standing next to Macros wearing it and then she gave up drinking :p

The cowsuit lingered in a carrier bag hung in my garage for about a year, unwashed - the original bearer of the costume turned up at the next BBQ and I endeavoured to return it to him. Mezla, however, had other plans, confronting him on the street as he was leaving, him having just accused Cougar of stealing his marijuana, and took it away from him. I would have stopped this had I known.

I have since destroyed the cowsuit as I believe its legend has run its course. Cougar still retains the travelling pink vest so perhaps we will make do with that. It's hard to judge with these people.

Two near murders as I recall, both involving Macros. You'll have to come to the BBQ to get the details :)

There was the year that Steve, his wife and his son attended. The details of that event are in sealed files.

I could go on for hours but that's all I'm motivated to share for now :p

#31 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 01:25 PM

I thought the ice bucket was illys idea to be honest.
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#32 User is offline   Malaclypse 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 01:39 PM

I'm pretty sure it was Cougar but not impossible - perhaps one of them can settle the question once and for all.

BTW, I still have your cardboard head and have thusfar been gentle with it :)

#33 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 01:55 PM

You had best continue that gentle trend Mal, you don't want to anger the hand.
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#34 User is offline   Malaclypse 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 01:56 PM

Oh, the stories your head could tell :)

:)

#35 User is offline   Vengeance 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 02:27 PM

View PostMalaclypse, on 15 February 2013 - 12:50 PM, said:



There was the year that Steve, his wife and his son attended. The details of that event are in sealed files.



Poor poor lad. Probably had nightmares for years afterword.
How many fucking people do I have to hammer in order to get that across.
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#36 User is offline   Spoilsport Stonny 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 05:59 PM

I wonder if The Sword of Truth forum has a BBQ? Maybe its breakfast at the Waffle House or something.
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
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#37 User is offline   Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy 

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Posted 15 February 2013 - 08:26 PM

View PostStalking Stonny, on 12 February 2013 - 11:09 PM, said:

I would never presume that i would be welcome, and im kinda reclusive anyway, so my main interest in this is purely just informational. Besides my bbq ribs would blow your collective minds.


[... ]and im kinda reclusive anyway [...] that's exactly why you should come. and just bring a few extra ribs, i'd help myself to one of them.
but are they worth preserving?
'that judgement does not belong to you.'
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#38 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 16 February 2013 - 10:45 AM

Man I really wanna go this year, but its looking incredibly like a no from me.
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#39 User is offline   Fid 

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Posted 17 February 2013 - 12:13 PM

View PostMacros, on 16 February 2013 - 10:45 AM, said:

Man I really wanna go this year, but its looking incredibly like a no from me.


Are you sending another cardboard cut-out to be ritually abused by Cougar, before being doused in aquavitt and cremated?
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#40 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 17 February 2013 - 02:24 PM

I had considered it, but when you put it like that, no most certainly not.
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