[JLV]

Holy shit... that guy's legs looked like chicken legs.

[Aptorian]

http://online.wsj.co...wsj_share_email

Quote

The 27 Rules of Conquering the Gym

This is the time of year when even people who hate the gym think about going to the gym. Many of us are still digesting whole floors of gingerbread houses, and jeans that fit comfortably in October are now a denim humiliation.

Sweating is a good way to begin 2012. Exercise, like dark chocolate and office meetings that suddenly get canceled, is a proven pathway to nirvana. But if you're going to join a gym—or returning to the gym after a long hibernation—consider the following:

1. A gym is not designed to make you feel instantly better about yourself. If a gym wanted to make you feel instantly better about yourself, it would be a bar.

2. Give yourself a goal. Maybe you want to lose 10 pounds. Maybe you want to quarterback the New York Jets into the playoffs. But be warned: Losing 10 pounds is hard.

3. Develop a gym routine. Try to go at least three times a week. Do a mix of strength training and cardiovascular conditioning. After the third week, stop carrying around that satchel of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies.

4. No one in the history of gyms has ever lost a pound while reading "The New Yorker" and slowly pedaling a recumbent bicycle. No one.

5. Bring your iPod. Don't borrow the disgusting gym headphones, or use the sad plastic radio attachment on the treadmill, which always sounds like it's playing Kenny Loggins from a sewer.

6. Don't fall for gimmicks. The only tried-and-true method to lose 10 pounds in 48 hours is food poisoning.

7. Yes, every gym has an overenthusiastic spinning instructor who hasn't bought a record since "Walking on Sunshine."

8. There's also the Strange Guy Who is Always at the Gym. Just when you think he isn't here today...there he is, lurking by the barbells.

9. "Great job!" is trainer-speak for "It's not polite for me to laugh at you."

10. Beware a hip gym with a Wilco step class.

11. Gyms have two types of members: Members who wipe down the machines after using them, and the worst people in the universe.

12. Nope, that's not a "recovery energy bar with antioxidant dark chocolate." That's a chocolate bar.

13. Avoid Unsolicited Advice Guy, who, for the small fee of boring you to death, will explain the proper method for any exercise in 45 minutes or longer.

14. You can take 10 Minute Abs, 20 Minute Abs, and 30 Minute Abs. There is also Stop Eating Pizza and Eating Sheet Cake Abs—but that's super tough!

15. If you're motivated to buy an expensive home exercise machine, consider a "wooden coat rack." It costs $40, uses no electricity and does the exact same thing.

16. There's the yoga instructor everyone loves, and the yoga instructor everyone hates. Memorize who they are.

17. If you see an indoor rock climbing wall, you're either in a really cool gym or a romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson.

18. Be cautious about any class with the words "sunrise," "hell," or "Moby."

19. If a gym class is going to be effective, it's hard. If you're relaxed and enjoying yourself, you're at brunch.

20. If you need to bring your children, just let them loose in the silent meditation class. Nobody minds, and kids love candles.

21. Don't buy $150 sneakers, $100 yoga pants, and $4 water. Muscle shirts are for people with muscles, and rhythm guitarists.

22. Fancy gyms can be seductive, but once you get past the modern couches and fresh flowers and the water with lemon slices, you're basically paying for a boutique hotel with B.O.

23. Everyone sees you secretly racing the old people in the pool.

24. If you're at the point where you've bought biking shoes for the spinning class, you may as well go ahead and buy an actual bike. It's way more fun and it doesn't make you listen to C+C Music Factory.

25. Fact: Thinking about going to the gym burns between 0 and 0 calories.

26. A successful gym membership is like a marriage: If it's good, you show up committed and ready for hard work. If it's not good, you show up in sweatpants and watch a lot of bad TV.

27. There is no secret. Exercise and lay off the fries. The end.

Where's my infomercial and best seller?

[Coco with marshmallows]

first session back tonight after the break.

feeling okay at present.

of course, it's tomorrow morning that will be interesting.

still, had a nice little session, deadlifts and shoulder presses.

fun fun fun.

[Anomander Rake]

Yesterday I did mainly Abs:
P90X Ab Ripper video
3x10 Leg Lifts
3x10 Ab Roller wheel thing

Today, did the P90X Back and Bicep video.

I'm what you term as a hard-gainer. But currently happy with weight, just aiming to tone up now. I think from next month I'll start doing more HIIT workouts (maybe similar to bodyrock.tv style workouts) and start doing some Yoga workouts regularly on top to try and improve flexibility.

This post has been edited by Anomander Rake: 05 January 2012 - 11:28 PM

[Captain Petepants]

Just had 90 minutes of combat circuits.
*dies*

[Sindriss]

Anomander Rake, on 05 January 2012 - 11:28 PM, said:

Yesterday I did mainly Abs:
P90X Ab Ripper video
3x10 Leg Lifts
3x10 Ab Roller wheel thing

Today, did the P90X Back and Bicep video.

I'm what you term as a hard-gainer. But currently happy with weight, just aiming to tone up now. I think from next month I'll start doing more HIIT workouts (maybe similar to bodyrock.tv style workouts) and start doing some Yoga workouts regularly on top to try and improve flexibility.

Mainly abs? How on earth do you structure a training around abs...

If you have trouble gaining, eat more. And do structured work, like making a 2 split or 3 split if you don't want to go for fullbody training when you are in the gym.

[Baco Xtath]

Just perusing and saw the P90X shout out and I have to say that it's freaking awesome. I worked out frequently for years but when my daughter was born and I became a stay-at-home dad, my gym trips became non-existent. I started doing P90X an hour a day during my little girl's nap and stayed with the routine for about 9 months and I got more ripped and bigger than I'd ever been. P90X, muscle confusion is the way of the future. Of course, doing anything is better than nothing so cheers to you all for your efforts.

[Coco with marshmallows]

Deadlifts tonight.

quite pleased, added three reps at 130 kilos to finish my session. Considering only really started deadlifting in last couple months after Apt challenged me to do them, i'm pleased by this.

[JLV]

Have any of you read Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe?

[amphibian]

JLV, on 27 January 2012 - 01:55 PM, said:

Have any of you read Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe?

Ripptoe is an ornery genius.

I love his quotes list.

[Aptorian]

I kind of want to read it but I can't get myself to pay for it. Also I find the Starting Strength programme boring. I am sure that it works, I have read the stories and seen the before and after pictures, but honestly, doing nothing but Squats and bench and Pull-ups and Deadlifts week out and week in... I'd be bored to tears. Of course, I bet the excitement kicks in when 3 months in you are breaking through every PR and rocketing towards godhood, but between that point and starting out... Yaaawnnn.

Then again, maybe this attitude stems from me borrowing some of those ideas and my body rejecting it like the weak flabby husk of a human body it is.

6 weeks of squats and deadlifts and my right hip and knee were beginning to feel like the bones of an 80 year old. A job that involves a lot of lifting combined with heavy compound exercises 3 times a week does not a happy Apt make.

I think I might return to it later and try something like a 4x10 instead of a 5x5, but for now I have cut waaayyy down on the squatting and deadlifting.

I went the complete opposite direction and I am now doing a 5 day split routine. Doesn't get much more BB than this with out working out twice a day and roiding up the wazoo.

Mon: Chest + 3-4 very light sets of squat with high reps
Tues: Back and Hamstrings
Wednesday: Shoulders and traps.
thursday: Legs + some chin-ups for the hell of it
Friday: GUNS + some very light stiff leg deadlift with high reps.

After doing heavy compound exercises with low reps for so long it has been quite fun to just go nuts and do 4-5 exercises for just one body part. ZE PUMP, IT BURNS!

I usually do my routine in around an hour after which I do some abs or lower back exercises, a bit of stretching and then I run or sprint for how ever long I can be arsed to stay on the treadmill.

This post has been edited by Aptorius: 27 January 2012 - 07:08 PM

[JLV]

I have to admit, I pirated it. I wanted to see what the fuss was about without dropping 30 bucks.

I'm pretty impressed, I really wish I would have had this 2 or 3 years ago when I started lifting. There's a lot of information that I was just never told, seeing as I taught myself to lift. I read the section on squats (holy shit, about 50 pages on squats if I remember correctly), and the last few sections about diet/results/complaints/etc. I think I'll go ahead and drop the 30, read the whole thing, and start his program.

His attitude sold me, really, and the squats advice felt like it helped this morning when I was at the gym. So I'll give this a try and see what happens. I could use a little weight, I'm at 165 lbs (75kg) right now, at 5'11".

I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh, and one other thing. He says to drink a gallon of whole milk a day. That's beyond my comprehension.

[Aptorian]

Milk is natures version of that expensive weight gainer you buy in the sports shop. Rippetoe likes to do things the old school way. When asked about diet he always refers to them in the old days just scarffing down tons of milk, tuna, eggs and chicken.

The thing about the programme, and where he gets a lot of criticism, is for it to have maximum efficiency, you need to be taking in more calories than you are burning off. Basically, he wants you to go on a bulk. Drinking a whole gallon of milk a day would certainly help you along. Problem is, there is a lot of people doing the Starting Strength programme who get really fucking strong. They also have a body fat percentage around 20. IE you're not going to look like Arnold when you hit the beach if you stick to this programme and you are not supposed to.

[tiam]

JLV, on 27 January 2012 - 07:17 PM, said:

I have to admit, I pirated it. I wanted to see what the fuss was about without dropping 30 bucks.

I'm pretty impressed, I really wish I would have had this 2 or 3 years ago when I started lifting. There's a lot of information that I was just never told, seeing as I taught myself to lift. I read the section on squats (holy shit, about 50 pages on squats if I remember correctly), and the last few sections about diet/results/complaints/etc. I think I'll go ahead and drop the 30, read the whole thing, and start his program.

His attitude sold me, really, and the squats advice felt like it helped this morning when I was at the gym. So I'll give this a try and see what happens. I could use a little weight, I'm at 165 lbs (75kg) right now, at 5'11".

I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh, and one other thing. He says to drink a gallon of whole milk a day. That's beyond my comprehension.

I did it for a while to gain the kind of mass hes on about. Went from 13 stone at the beginning of Uni to 17 stone by the end. That was with an inconsistent diet, drinking heavily, shitty sleep and not regularly training. Ive seen you JLV and, no offence mate, you could use the extra calories for training esp as your only like 17. As Apt said I wasnt lean but a guy I did GOMAD with cut his down to half a gallon a day and started upping his cardio and got pretty lean from it.

It completely accelerated my gains

This post has been edited by tiam: 27 January 2012 - 09:23 PM

[JLV]

tiam, on 27 January 2012 - 09:22 PM, said:

I did it for a while to gain the kind of mass hes on about. Went from 13 stone at the beginning of Uni to 17 stone by the end. That was with an inconsistent diet, drinking heavily, shitty sleep and not regularly training. Ive seen you JLV and, no offence mate, you could use the extra calories for training esp as your only like 17. As Apt said I wasnt lean but a guy I did GOMAD with cut his down to half a gallon a day and started upping his cardio and got pretty lean from it.

It completely accelerated my gains

Ah, good. I was looking for some kind of confirmation around these parts.

I'm good about lifting on schedule, and I should be good with eating a lot. I'm in ottermode right now, and I'd like to pack on some pounds of muscle.

So yeah, I'm gonna do this starting monday. I'll chart everything, and take a picture every once in a while to see the difference. I wonder if I can actually drink a gallon of milk..

[amphibian]

JLV, on 27 January 2012 - 10:24 PM, said:

Ah, good. I was looking for some kind of confirmation around these parts.

I'm good about lifting on schedule, and I should be good with eating a lot. I'm in ottermode right now, and I'd like to pack on some pounds of muscle.

So yeah, I'm gonna do this starting monday. I'll chart everything, and take a picture every once in a while to see the difference. I wonder if I can actually drink a gallon of milk..

Awesome. When in doubt, eat/drink more.

Part of how you'll look in a few months is dependent on your genetics. I'm about your height (180 cm for the metric crowd) and 185 lbs (84 kg) right now. I'm still looking skinny from the average person's perspective because it doesn't go to my neck or traps that much - more to my core and thighs. Could probably pack on another 20 lbs of muscle over the next year or two and not be a total musclehead.

[tiam]

JLV, on 27 January 2012 - 10:24 PM, said:

tiam, on 27 January 2012 - 09:22 PM, said:

I did it for a while to gain the kind of mass hes on about. Went from 13 stone at the beginning of Uni to 17 stone by the end. That was with an inconsistent diet, drinking heavily, shitty sleep and not regularly training. Ive seen you JLV and, no offence mate, you could use the extra calories for training esp as your only like 17. As Apt said I wasnt lean but a guy I did GOMAD with cut his down to half a gallon a day and started upping his cardio and got pretty lean from it.

It completely accelerated my gains

Ah, good. I was looking for some kind of confirmation around these parts.

I'm good about lifting on schedule, and I should be good with eating a lot. I'm in ottermode right now, and I'd like to pack on some pounds of muscle.

So yeah, I'm gonna do this starting monday. I'll chart everything, and take a picture every once in a while to see the difference. I wonder if I can actually drink a gallon of milk..

A key thing is alway have it after your meals. Milk is added to your caloric intake not replacing it. For a while id have it not long before my food and found eating the food a struggle. Always eat your meal with a glass of water then down the milk afterwards. I used to get 5 raw eggs put them in aswell and down it for the extra protein.

[Aptorian]

I've tried mixing raw eggs with stuff. It is not good. Drinking raw eggs has the texture of drinking snot or sperm. Yes, these mental images does make me retch.

[amphibian]

Cottage cheese, almond butter, the gizzards of your dead enemies. These are all things that you can eat that aren't raw eggs and have a ton of good calories.

[tiam]

Aptorius, on 29 January 2012 - 02:38 AM, said:

I've tried mixing raw eggs with stuff. It is not good. Drinking raw eggs has the texture of drinking snot or sperm. Yes, these mental images does make me retch.

drinking phlegm was actually what came to mind