Malazan Empire: THE CONTEST V - Malazan Empire

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THE CONTEST V Have you Mastery of Your Domain?

#141 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 06:13 AM

Hah, oh hell, I just don't see myself doing that, Gatekeeper.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#142 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 07:05 AM

View PostGatekeeper, on 06 July 2011 - 05:54 AM, said:

Everybody in the contest should have seen the look on the girls face that I was with the night of the 4th when I told her the morning of the fifth "sorry (insert name), I had a hellava time last night carousing and letting you thank me for being a veteran, but I can't hook up this morning because Im in a non sex contest with users on a forum based on an OCD level series of books about a fantasy land, and DarkWatch will put me on the bad list." There was a long long pause, as she stared blankly at me, while I wondered what Briar King and others demons of the forums would say. I paid for her cab, and as she left she informed me that "you don't need to put so much effort into blowing me off" . Good 4th of July.


If it was at your place (tsk, always play away games with random sport sex), then you should have logged on and shown her.

You would not have seen her for dust, but at least she would have believed you. Same net effect, slightly nicer self-esteem for both parties. Unless she has friends you want to bang and not have them find out (beforehand) that you are a geek. :no
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#143 User is offline   Gatekeeper 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 07:13 AM

View PostSombra, on 06 July 2011 - 07:05 AM, said:

View PostGatekeeper, on 06 July 2011 - 05:54 AM, said:

Everybody in the contest should have seen the look on the girls face that I was with the night of the 4th when I told her the morning of the fifth "sorry (insert name), I had a hellava time last night carousing and letting you thank me for being a veteran, but I can't hook up this morning because Im in a non sex contest with users on a forum based on an OCD level series of books about a fantasy land, and DarkWatch will put me on the bad list." There was a long long pause, as she stared blankly at me, while I wondered what Briar King and others demons of the forums would say. I paid for her cab, and as she left she informed me that "you don't need to put so much effort into blowing me off" . Good 4th of July.


If it was at your place (tsk, always play away games with random sport sex), then you should have logged on and shown her.

You would not have seen her for dust, but at least she would have believed you. Same net effect, slightly nicer self-esteem for both parties. Unless she has friends you want to bang and not have them find out (beforehand) that you are a geek. :no


Thats actually good advice. But clearly I wasnt taking the whole situation with the seriousness that others were. And, thats the point.
HAIL THE MARINES!
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#144 User is offline   MTS 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 08:08 AM

I dunno, turning down freely-offered sex does seem like you're taking this competition pretty damn seriously...
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.
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#145 User is offline   Primateus 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 08:47 AM

View PostMTS, on 06 July 2011 - 08:08 AM, said:

I dunno, turning down freely-offered sex does seem like you're taking this competition pretty damn seriously...



If I was offered sex I would lose this competition so fast it'd break the soundbarrier!

This post has been edited by Primateus: 06 July 2011 - 08:48 AM

Screw you all, and have a nice day!

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#146 User is offline   MTS 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 11:16 AM

View PostPrimateus, on 06 July 2011 - 08:47 AM, said:

View PostMTS, on 06 July 2011 - 08:08 AM, said:

I dunno, turning down freely-offered sex does seem like you're taking this competition pretty damn seriously...



If I was offered sex I would lose this competition so fast it'd break the soundbarrier!

So you're faster than a speeding bullet, eh? How sad for you :no

This post has been edited by MTS: 06 July 2011 - 11:17 AM

Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.
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#147 User is offline   Darkwatch 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 11:43 AM

@Gatekeeper:
If you don't last till the end I will be very disappointed.
The Pub is Always Open

Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.

The Sexy Thatch Burning Physicist

Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος

RodeoRanch said:

You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
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#148 User is offline   Primateus 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 12:16 PM

View PostMTS, on 06 July 2011 - 11:16 AM, said:

View PostPrimateus, on 06 July 2011 - 08:47 AM, said:

View PostMTS, on 06 July 2011 - 08:08 AM, said:

I dunno, turning down freely-offered sex does seem like you're taking this competition pretty damn seriously...



If I was offered sex I would lose this competition so fast it'd break the soundbarrier!

So you're faster than a speeding bullet, eh? How sad for you :no



Heh, I guess I kinda walked right into that one, but no, that's not exactly what I meant. What I meant was that I wouldn't stop to think about this contest.

But still.....Touché
Screw you all, and have a nice day!

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#149 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 01:48 PM

I just had to go and visit TheChive, eh? Bloody hell. Feels like I'll be the second loser today... REMAIN STRONG DAMMIT! FOR THE EMPEROR! YOU MUST FOLLOW THE QUN!
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#150 User is offline   pathos 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 02:12 PM

what is TheChive?

(bless my naivete) :no
You never have the same problem twice when you set it on fire
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#151 User is offline   MTS 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 02:52 PM

TheChive is a picture site I believe, and I also believe it has a hawt girls section, which is clearly where Gothos was spending his time. :no
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.
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#152 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 03:08 PM

View PostMTS, on 06 July 2011 - 02:52 PM, said:

TheChive is a picture site I believe, and I also believe it has a hawt girls section, which is clearly where Gothos was spending his time. :no


Probably the best site on the web!
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
0

#153 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 03:21 PM

*starts heading to the chive*
No, Simeon! It's not worth it!
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#154 User is offline   Beezulbubba 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 03:36 PM



#155 User is offline   MTS 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 03:46 PM

Is it just me or does The Chive sound like some horrible venereal disease?
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.
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#156 User is offline   Coco with marshmallows 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 05:08 PM

View PostMTS, on 06 July 2011 - 03:46 PM, said:

Is it just me or does The Chive sound like some horrible venereal disease?


Actually, it is.

The cure involves a forceps, a white hot needle, the freshly drained blood of three kittens, and a small piece of wood shaped like an elephant......

err, I mean, no, it's just you, you filthy pervert!
meh. Link was dead :(
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#157 User is offline   Mott 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 05:18 PM

View PostGatekeeper, on 06 July 2011 - 06:06 AM, said:

View PostMuttley, on 05 July 2011 - 07:22 PM, said:

I don't know about that, I can't recall being propositioned any time in the last...a long time.

I still think it's just as hard for women though (well when I say hard you know what I mean).


Hey, nice shoes, want to f###? Is that QB over there? The snake is out....you better dance.



Well consider me seduced by your subtlety...and Quick Ben references :no.
Mottfather, who art in chat, hallowed be thy name, thy empire come, thy magic be done, on wu as it is in warren. give us this day our daily cahpters, and forgive us our timeline, as we forgive yours, lead us not into goodkind, but deliver us from ayn rand, for thine is the series, the epic, the glory, I<3WJ ~ Obdi and GH
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#158 User is offline   Gatekeeper 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 05:39 PM

View PostMuttley, on 06 July 2011 - 05:18 PM, said:

View PostGatekeeper, on 06 July 2011 - 06:06 AM, said:

View PostMuttley, on 05 July 2011 - 07:22 PM, said:

I don't know about that, I can't recall being propositioned any time in the last...a long time.

I still think it's just as hard for women though (well when I say hard you know what I mean).


Hey, nice shoes, want to f###? Is that QB over there? The snake is out....you better dance.



Well consider me seduced by your subtlety...and Quick Ben references :no.




I like to call that 'The Subtle Hustle'
HAIL THE MARINES!
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#159 User is offline   Knowing 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 05:51 PM

Over the weekend I saw some chump literally try that line. I was on the sidewalk downtown waiting for the light to change with two good looking girls next to me. This asshole in his little sports car drove up and asked if either wanted to have sex that night. I instantly had a great opportunity to make fun of him but it wasn't until the next block down that I finally worded it right. "Hey, that's a good one. Is that the line that got your mother knocked up?"

I need a George Costanza moment to set that up again.


This post has been edited by Knowing: 06 July 2011 - 05:54 PM

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#160 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 07:36 PM

Should have just used the "So's Your Face!" comeback...

A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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