[King Bear]

A thread about movies that completely suck. Movies that after you've watched them you lament that 2 hours of your life you'll never get back.

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And has anyone seen Teeth? Because WHAT. THE. HELL. Why? Honestly. Why?

This post has been edited by Quickie Ben: 22 April 2011 - 03:35 PM

[Aptorian]

Teeth is sort of a mythical film to me. Much like Human Centipede the whole concept is so disturbing that I am just never going to watch it. A film about a girl who bites off dicks with her pussy? Yeah... no thanks. Just the term "Vagina Dentata" fills me with revulsion.

[King Bear]

Battle Plaptypus, on 22 April 2011 - 03:47 PM, said:

Teeth is sort of a mythical film to me. Much like Human Centipede the whole concept is so disturbing that I am just never going to watch it. A film about a girl who bites off dicks with her pussy? Yeah... no thanks. Just the term "Vagina Dentata" fills me with revulsion.

A flatmate recently downloaded The Human Centipede and was half way done explaining the premise when I told her I didn't want to hear any more, and sorry, I wasn't going to watch it with her. I only found out about Teeth today. How many more of these sick, disturbing movies are there?

[Aptorian]

Hundreds if not thousand. 90% of which made in Japan probably.

[King Bear]

Battle Plaptypus, on 22 April 2011 - 04:03 PM, said:

Hundreds if not thousand. 90% of which made in Japan probably.

May they ever remain absent from my brain.

[masan's saddle]

Battle Plaptypus, on 22 April 2011 - 04:03 PM, said:

Hundreds if not thousand. 90% of which made in Japan probably.

What's the name of that REALLY grim movie..., The Serb ??? or something like that. All about torture and increasingly sadistic forms of death and gutspilling. It came out last year or the year before, I can't remember.

On topic, Pearl Harbor.

Not even Kate Beckinsale's arse could save that Piece of Shit ^_TM

[King Bear]

masan, on 22 April 2011 - 04:11 PM, said:

Pearl Harbor.

Not even Kate Beckinsale's arse could save that Piece of Shit ^_TM

And it is a fine ass.

[Sinisdar Toste]

spiderman 3. THAT HAIRCUT, OH GOD, THAT HAIRCUT!

[Mentalist]

Cube 2.

one time in my life I wished I was high

[MWKarsa]

Completely agree with Pearl Harbor and Spiderman 3.

Add The Incredible Hulk 1 and 2, Tron Legacy, the Godzilla movie with Matthew Brockerick, Batman and Robin, Highlander 2, Caddyshack 2, all the Crow movies after the first one, Troy, Superman Returns, Red Sonja and too many to list right now.

[Aptorian]

Godzilla does not deserve the definition "Just plain bad". For its time that movie was very well made, Godzilla looked fucking amazing. It had a hell of a lot of iconic scenes in it. Also I loved the soundtrack that Puffy diddy Sean P daddy Combes did for it.

What made that film annoying was Mathew Broderick sucking things up. Honestly, I can't recall ever watching a film that I liked him in. It's like he did Ferris Bueller and Wargames and then he just never fucking changed.

Was Red Sonja that bad. I don't think I've seen that film since the early 90s maybe, but I remember it being good. Like your typical 80s action films like Conan the Barbarian.

EDIT: Oh and Troy is worse than all the other movies on that list combined. They absolutely butchered everything that was good about the Illiad. How the fuck could they take out the Gods, they are integral to the story.

This post has been edited by Battle Plaptypus: 23 April 2011 - 06:22 AM

[worry]

I've seen plenty of hokey stuff like The Room and what have you, but in terms of serious effort decent budget movies:

The Skulls starring Joshua Jackson is perhaps the worst big budget movie I've ever seen. I didn't pay to see it or anything, and it was before I knew who Paul Walker was, so I didn't know to automatically avoid it like an instant-AIDS causing cactus, so those are my excuses. Neither makes me feel any cleaner.



The worst movie I paid to see is probably Double Jeopardy starring Ashley Judd and Tommy Lee Jones. This was very much in his post-The Fugitive phase where (I must assume) he accepted boatloads of cash to play wise detectives in every piece of crap that came along (see also: Morgan Freeman post-Se7en). It might still hold the record for most cliches piled one on top another like Jenga.

The thing is, I don't usually hold grudges against actors. I don't care if Robin Williams can be super annoying or that John Travolta is a cheeseball, or that Nicholas Cage will do anything for money, or that Keanu's valley accent comes out in everything he does. None of them by default put me off a movie. But I have held a grudge against Ashley Judd ever since, and I can't get over it. Also, the same for Paul Walker, but that's not cuz of the Skulls, it's because he's genuinely the worst actor in human history.

[King Lear]

This:



Worst Film Ever. And not even in a good way.

Jennifer Lopez as a lesbian, Ben Affleck as shmuck.
This is what Wikipedia says: After a protracted battle between studio and director, a radically revised version of the original film was released. There was significant media attention and popular interest prior to its release, primarily because Affleck and Lopez, the film's stars, were romantically involved at the time. However, critical reception was extremely poor, and in the years since its release Gigli has frequently been cited as among the worst movies ever made.

Plot: Shmuck gets told to kidnap retarded kid, "lesbian" comes to keep an eye on him, romantic comedy ensues.

It's awful. In my defence, I watched it on purpose. For this reason:

[Sir Thursday]

masan, on 22 April 2011 - 04:11 PM, said:

Battle Plaptypus, on 22 April 2011 - 04:03 PM, said:

Hundreds if not thousand. 90% of which made in Japan probably.

What's the name of that REALLY grim movie..., The Serb ??? or something like that. All about torture and increasingly sadistic forms of death and gutspilling. It came out last year or the year before, I can't remember.

On topic, Pearl Harbor.

Not even Kate Beckinsale's arse could save that Piece of Shit ^_TM

You're thinking of A Serbian Film. The trailer makes Human Centipede seem pretty tame.

ST

[Illuyankas]

Anything Apt likes. Just to save time.

[Aptorian]

I think you mean everything Apt likes that other people don't like.

[Illuyankas]

I know what I said.

[Aptorian]

So lets see here, on the list of plain bad movies we should add:

The Godfather movies.
The Indiana Jones films
Star Wars
Heat
Things to do in Denver when you're dead.
Hamburger Hill
The Good the Bad and the Ugly
The first two terminator films.
Predator 1 and 2
The first three Alien films.
Blade Runner.
The Lethal Weapons films.
Blood Sport.
Big Trouble in little China

Just to name a few films that I like.

Are you saying all of these films are bad movies? Are you Illy? Is that what you are saying?

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[Illuyankas]

Yes. Conveying warnings to others of the horrors that you enjoy require sacrifices. They're being discarded for a good cause. Also, nice  emot-smug.gif (972bytes)
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[Aptorian]

You're a horrible human being.