Malazan Empire: A day out in Lunnon Towne - my thanks to SE. - Malazan Empire

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A day out in Lunnon Towne - my thanks to SE.

#1 User is offline   Hetan 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 09:59 AM

Had a great day out yesterday in Lunnon Towne.

It was a bit of an epic in some ways - blithely assuming I could rely on the satnav on my phone to work my way around - only to find that the signal is crappy in that part of town :) but at least I had my trusty compass which I used to great effect and Mal and I made it to FP in time.

There was a good turn out for the signing and it was great to see SE at the end of this 10 book series. I had 6 copies of the Crippled God for signing - Abyss, Pathos, Sombra, Cicero - you guys all owe Mal a drink coz those books are big and heavy (along with our own two copies) and he carted them half way round Lunnon Towne with good grace. You will find out shortly why he went half way round Lunnon Towne with 'em.

We headed off to the Porterhouse with SE as he said he wanted to chat with fans - nice place but man, it was really really loud and really really busy - the rugby was in full swing - *facepalm* so no chance of any conversation there. Apologies to Steve for mixing up his food order. It was funny though if you can follow my logic. He said "the pizza looks good - I'll have one with pepperoni" - then Messremb hands him a menu which he peruses and the next word I hear is "Mexican" so I think ok - one Mexican pizza comping up for my favourite author and dash off to the bar to give the order. Barman says "Mexican? you mean Sombrero?" I think yeah that sounds mexican so place the order. Go back to SE and say "pizza is on it's way shortly" and he looks at me a bit funny and says "pizza?". I nod, happy that I have organised some much-needed sustenance for my favourite author. Anyway, food arrives and he eats it - then Mal comes up to me and says "Why did you order pizza for him?" I reply "because that's what he asked for." Mal says "he wanted a Mexican burger!" I am mortified. Didn't hear what he wanted due to the noise. I don't think he minded too much but my organisational skills are obviously sadly lacking as, so far, the venue is wrong and the food is wrong.

Determined to make up for things I ask Toby to recommend a quieter pub and preferably one with no TV and Toby, being the master of all venues in cockney-land comes up trumps and it's only 10 minute walk, so we all decide to de-camp there with our favourite author in tow. Lunnon Towne is very very busy that Saturday afternoon and if I had thought about it I should have brought a rope and tied us all together, another example of my sad lack of organisational skills. So we troop off - about 16 of us plus our favourite author - and Toby sets a cracking pace - and of course the inevitable happens, we find that we've lost a couple of people because everyone's talking and chattering like a bunch of excited hamsters and no-one pays attention to the detail of who is with us. We discover that Brood is missing and Mal and Beliar's mate have gone awol. So we're standing outside the Freemason's headquarters (or it could just have been a pub of that name?) and my phone rings. It's Mal he's by the tube station and needs directions - so I tell him yes keep walking down Long Acre and you'll reach us. So he does - for about 10 minutes - only he's going in completely the wrong direction! Anyway, suffice to say we do eventually find our missing party members, and with our favourite author still patiently in tow, we continue walking, and walking, and walking - by which time we are beginning to wonder at how long a 10 minute walk can be. I'm still wondering if Toby chose that route so he could pick pockets along the way :p

Mal is beginning to get a bit testy (he's still carrying all those books) and just as he's beginning to head for Icarium territory (I can already hear the keening in my head!), Toby, like the true cockney urchin he is, pulls his trump card and we turn into a haven of peace, calm and tranquility. I shit you not, it was like walking into a warren. The City of Yorke in Lunnon Towne is now bookmarked as a great pub, a real gem. There are no tv's, no slot machines, no music - just good beer, and reasonably good food.

So we had a few beers, some food, some good conversation - even if no-one felt courageous enough to talk to our favourite author too much - I understand how that works, you have stuff to say but don't want to come across as being a dumb-ass - I feel it all the time and then end up doing exactly that :) .

After our favourite author left, and I hope he found his way back to his hotel but trust that he took a cab (when he asked how close were we to Leicester Square and everyone looked blank, it didn't bode well), we settled into squashy leather sofa's and really began to lay it down. It was great - everyone has so much to say to each other at these meet-ups and I would encourage anyone who attends one of these events in the future to come and say hi and hang out some time. At around 10 Mal and I decide that we really have to get back to the station to get our train. We make it to King's Cross without a hitch, settle into seats on the train - and promptly fell asleep. We woke up just as we were arriving at Peterborough station - (the last stop thankfully!) and about 30 miles further than we should have been. Totally missed all the stops along route and our own stop, where my car is parked. Bummer.
It's midnight and there's no train back until 3.35. The taxi back to St. Neots station cost us £60.00 - but we were blissfully happy nonetheless and had a great day out.

So I would like to thank Toby for his "knowledge" and Steve for being such a trooper - he did say it was good to stretch his legs - and to thank everyone else for making it so much fun. We had a blast and I hope you all did too. Special mention to our party members - Imperial Historian, Brood, Mezla and friend of Mezla (Hi Tim) Dag and Stone Monkey (do I hear the tiniest tinkle of wedding bells in the future? :) ) Messremb, Tremolo, STd, Beliar (and his funny friend Gary and his absolutely charming girlfriend who must have wondered why the hell she had agreed to come along) but mostly I would like to thank SE for bringing us together and for a massive achievement on reaching the end of this epic, epic, 10 book series.

You sir, are a star - a gentleman and one of my favourite people. You have the patience of a Trell, the dignity of a Tiste Andii, the wit of a sapper and I am very very grateful for all your words. Thank you Steve, for everything you have given us.

with love - Hazel.
"He was not a modest man. Contemplating suicide, he summoned a dragon". (Gothos' Folly)- Gothos
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#2 User is offline   Cyphon 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 10:38 AM

Sounds awesome. Gutted I missed it.
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#3 User is offline   Dutch 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 11:27 AM

To bad I had to miss it, great story though. Seems you all had great fun.

I hope to make it to the Malazan BBQ if there is one this summer.

This post has been edited by Dutch: 27 February 2011 - 11:27 AM

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#4 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 11:27 AM

I love youse guys. :)

Thanks so much for that, I really, really appreciate the effort you went to.

The cheque is in the e-mail ... :)

This post has been edited by Sombra: 27 February 2011 - 11:34 AM

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#5 User is offline   Fid 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 12:29 PM

That was a great roadtrip write-up Hazel. Love the description of Mal heading off for 7 dials rather than Freemason's Hall and also "the Peterborough Effect" - off topic - anyone remember the ads for Peterborough new town with Roy Kinnear as a Roman - departing Regis Crux etc. So by my reckoning those books had a price tag of an extra tenner each - I assume that you will be recovering the excess from the faithful :) but I suspect not as you are both such genuinely generous souls.

Dag and Stone Monkey sounds serious - but does DWP pay enough for all the travel I ask myself?

BBQ this year has to be dedicated to the end of one 10,000 page journey and the start of the next. Really hope it works out.
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#6 User is offline   Messremb 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 02:04 PM

Big big thanks from me too.

I also thought I could rely on sat-nav, never again shall I make that mistake in a city. Luckily I had looked at a map too beforehand so knew roughly where I was going, I didn't arrive in time for breakfast alas (I had to finish DoD before setting off as I didn't want to end up carrying too many books around and so missed earlier trains) so met up with people in FP just in time. Pleasantly surprised by how many people were along, very good to put faces to the names after all these years. Was quite a steady queue for all the time we were there and everyone got everything signed, apart from Brood who couldn't find an appropriate pen to get his shirt done.

Porterhouse is certainly better with a few less people in and no rugby but it was close by, Steve bared it quite well though for as long as it took to eat his pizza :) :) :p I wouldn't have described Tobys pace as anything above a gentle stroll, people were just a little distracted and it was pretty busy (for a small town boy like me anyway) The Citte of Yorke didn't disappoint, dark panelling, high ceilings, excellent seating and cheap beer. We had it pretty much to ourselves for a while too. Time flew and Steve had to make his way back, possibly to hide from all these scary forumites :) - I left with Trem probably about 20min after Hetan & Mal, I made the fatal mistake of getting on a tube train going the wrong direction (Trem I'm sure managed fine due to being in a strange country and needing to pay attention to where he was going) so was a little delayed, getting to Paddington in time for one train to pull out, leaving me a 45min wait for the last train of the night so got through some of TCG. Walked for 45min from the station to get home as my lift had gone to bed, buses stopped running and taxis had a queue that seemed to consist of half the train. Did anyone make it without transport issues of some kind?!

Didn't Tim (or was it someone else) come out as being Hedge?

I suspect Mezla may developing a complex about talking to SE...

Good to see everyone and I've set aside time for the BBQ this year so short of the world ending or me deciding that'd be a good weekend to propose to my other half I shall be there. Thanks again everyone, particularly Steve

:)


I think Trem shows what we thought of the day:

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"see that stranger's arm crushing the life from him - do you understand? Not an eternal prison for Messremb"
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#7 User is offline   Ceda Cicero 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 02:39 PM

I can't thank you guys enough for toting that book. Sounds like a spectacular time all in all!

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#8 User is offline   caladanbrood 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 02:56 PM

Incidentally, while Toby may be a master of pub knowledge, his navigation is awful - there was an almost straight road between Covent Garden and the pub, we could have saved plenty of time and not got lost either :)
Great to see everyone again, and many thanks to Steve for being a real gent and spending a long time with us and answering even the silliest of questions! Also amazed to hear he's a decent way through the next book already - I'd have wanted at least a year off myself!
Totally worth the 10 hours I spent sitting on buses... probably :)
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#9 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 03:23 PM

I spent this morning in the local greasy spoon eating off a mild hangover. I had a spiffing time yesterday. Nice to see everyone again and meet some new people. Me and Tim had a great time in FP in the morning looking at all of the Transformers :) Toby's pub choice was very good, and we got there eventually which is all that matters!

It was nice to meet SE properly but for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything useful to say to him and I'm not usually known for my silences. We spent half the time in the queue waiting for our books to be signed muttering "I don't know what to say to him! What are you going to say?" The other half was spent perusing the Romance book section that we had to line up in and staring at people in the line wondering if they were secret Forumites :p

Just to rub it in, my journey home was flawless. I got the tube with Toby at STd then walked straight onto a train bound for St Albans that left 2 minutes later. I was home with a cup of tea 30mins after that. Speaking of which, time to break open the chocolates from Dag and SM and brew another one :)

So thanks to everyone who came out and to SE, I don't know when to start the book since it's too heavy to take on holiday next week. Hope the people who Mal and Hetan bought books for like the little notes we left for them inside.......!
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Posted 27 February 2011 - 04:01 PM

Gutted that I missed out on all the fun. Perhaps next time, whenever that might be...
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#11 User is offline   Gatekeeper 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 08:03 PM

So happy for you all!!! Really!! Now, will there be any love for us American's? Hetan? (Hazel?! That's even....cooler) Anyway, are there BBQ's in the states? I wonder if I went home to Alaska if I could get ICE to drink with Hoosier Daddy, Salk Elan, and I. Hmmmmmmmm.....New mission.
HAIL THE MARINES!
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#12 User is offline   Sindriss 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 08:10 PM

Sounds like a happy event. Did anyone by any chance take some pictures and care to share them with the rest of us who do not live in Britain? :)

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#13 User is offline   Vengeance 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 08:14 PM

 Gatekeeper, on 27 February 2011 - 08:03 PM, said:

So happy for you all!!! Really!! Now, will there be any love for us American's? Hetan? (Hazel?! That's even....cooler) Anyway, are there BBQ's in the states? I wonder if I went home to Alaska if I could get ICE to drink with Hoosier Daddy, Salk Elan, and I. Hmmmmmmmm.....New mission.


There have been a couple of BBQ's in Chicago the last several years. HD always shows up to those... :)


Edit.. I forgot to say that it sounds like a great time. Slightly jealous. Getting lost between pubs is always a wonderful experience... Forumite bonding... :)

This post has been edited by Vengeance: 27 February 2011 - 08:16 PM

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#14 User is offline   Thelomen Toblerone 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 08:26 PM

 caladanbrood, on 27 February 2011 - 02:56 PM, said:

Incidentally, while Toby may be a master of pub knowledge, his navigation is awful - there was an almost straight road between Covent Garden and the pub, we could have saved plenty of time and not got lost either :)



What a load of bollocks, no wonder you got lost! Map and route walked attached, identify me this mystical straight road that apparently cuts through the middle of buildings.

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This post has been edited by Thelomen Toblerone: 27 February 2011 - 08:27 PM

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#15 User is offline   Whisperzzzzzzz 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 08:26 PM

How come you use 'miles' in your post if you're from the UK?
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#16 User is offline   Dutch 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 08:32 PM

 Whisperzzzzzzz, on 27 February 2011 - 08:26 PM, said:

How come you use 'miles' in your post if you're from the UK?


Because they use miles in the UK? :)
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#17 User is offline   Fid 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 10:09 PM

 Thelomen Toblerone, on 27 February 2011 - 08:26 PM, said:

 caladanbrood, on 27 February 2011 - 02:56 PM, said:

Incidentally, while Toby may be a master of pub knowledge, his navigation is awful - there was an almost straight road between Covent Garden and the pub, we could have saved plenty of time and not got lost either :)



What a load of bollocks, no wonder you got lost! Map and route walked attached, identify me this mystical straight road that apparently cuts through the middle of buildings.


Well you could have walked through Lincolns Inn fields so I would have to suggest that a straigher option did exist. We could get Jezza, Captain Slow and the Hamster to check out which route is quickest but the series just ended
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#18 User is offline   Gatekeeper 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 11:24 PM

There have been a couple of BBQ's in Chicago the last several years. HD always shows up to those... :)






Any news on one this year? I would entertain coming...How many people usually show? Is it at a private residence?
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#19 User is offline   Dutch 

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Posted 27 February 2011 - 11:42 PM

See Chicago Meet up 2010 for the one of last year.
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#20 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 28 February 2011 - 12:45 AM

 Gatekeeper, on 27 February 2011 - 11:24 PM, said:

Any news on one this year? I would entertain coming...How many people usually show? Is it at a private residence?

The exact number escapes me, but I think both years it was around 10 to 12 people (with spouses included). And a lotta booze.

Unfortunately, Bent fell into a deep bro-mance with God and presumably won't be attending any future conventions.

There's also been Canadian meet-ups now and then. But Hetan and Mal moved to England, so that hosting job has yet to devolve upon someone else.
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