Malazan Empire: funniest parts of the series - Malazan Empire

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funniest parts of the series if there's a saddest thread, why not a funniest! Rate Topic: -----

#81 User is offline   Jhag Sidean 

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Posted 10 November 2014 - 10:53 PM

Many moments with the marines, tehol & bugg, iskaral pust, and if i remember right, the was a part in RG, with the marine/halfwit bole brother, who at the time was digging a hole......

#82 User is offline   melonhead 

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Posted 18 November 2014 - 08:32 AM

This conversation has me in stitches every time. I love pores and kindly. they always crack me up

‘What do you think you are doing?’
‘Uh, nothing, sir.’
‘You’re leaning on the gunnel. At ease. Did I at any time say “at ease”, Lieutenant?’
Pores straightened. ‘Sorry, sir.’
‘That woman should be put up on report.’
‘Aye, she’s not wearing much, is she?’
‘Out of uniform.’
‘Damned distracting, isn’t it, sir?’
‘Disappointing, you mean, surely, Lieutenant.’
‘Ah, that’s the word I was looking for, all right. Thank you, sir.’
‘The Shake make the most extraordinary combs,’ Kindly said. ‘Turtleshell.’
‘Impressive, sir.’
‘Expensive purchases, but well worth it, I should judge.’
‘Yes sir. Tried them yet?’
‘Lieutenant, do you imagine that to be amusing?’
‘Sir? No, of course not!’
‘Because, as is readily apparent, Lieutenant, your commanding officer has very little hair.’
‘If by that you mean on your head, then yes sir, that is, uh, apparent indeed.’
‘Am I infested with lice , then, that I might need to use a comb elsewhere on my body, Lieutenant?’
‘I wouldn’t know, sir. I mean, of course not.’
Do you think God stays in heaven because he too, lives in fear of what he's created?Steve BuscemiSpy Kids 2

#83 User is offline   theocean 

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Posted 06 July 2015 - 01:59 PM

Please.. do resume your hesitation is the best line in terms of comedy for me. Love Kruppe punking silverfox

#84 User is offline   Herrick The Younger 

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Posted 25 October 2016 - 02:34 AM

So far my favorite funny moment is in Deadhouse Gates I think. Or perhaps Memories of Ice. Quick Ben goes to consult some old witch about Burn's Sleep. After agreeing on payment he says something like:

"Burns Sleep"
The Witch says, "What of it?"
Quick Ben says, "Why?"
Then it says she gaped at him toothlessly.

Still makes me laugh out loud every time I think of it.

Another favorite funny moment of mine is in Reaper's Gale I think. Tavore and some other Malazans are having a meeting with Shurq Elalle in a tavern. When it's discovered that Shurq is dead, the room goes silent, the tavern owner who wanted to bang her is in shock, and Pretty's eyes go wide darting around the room while he is digging his finger in his ear. Then he takes it out, then sticks it in his mouth.

In The Bonehunters there is a funny part with Faradan Sort and another soldier while everything is burning down around them and they're looking for a way out. She asks if he has any ideas and he slowly examines his shield, looks around the room then says, "No." I wish I could remember that soldier's name and what ever became of him.

This post has been edited by Herrick The Younger: 25 October 2016 - 02:42 AM


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