Gem you holding back has nothing to do with anything, you need to not post if you can't bring yourself to remain civil.
Gem Windcaster, on 24 February 2010 - 03:37 PM, said:
@ Cougar, there's nothing complex about rape - it's an act of extreme violence towards another being. And I still don't understand why people bring up rough sex - do you honestly think that people that like bondage or other rough sex won't feel just as violated if they were to be raped? Seriously? You don't see the difference in the situation? In one instance there's a controlled environment of your choosing with a person you trust, in the other instance some random person is torturing you.
Of course rape is complex, there are many motivations for the crime we call rape, in some cases it can merely be a mistake made by two people not in control of their faculties at the more extreme end of the spectrum it is an act of pure violence. Motivation can be arousal through an asymetry of power, it can merely be lust itself, rapists may be deranged, they may be perfectly rational by any other measurable standards.
Of course rape is an act of violence, no argument there, but to reduce it to that and only that makes it into a diametrically opposed binary of consensual sex and fails to appreciate the nuances of motivation and circumstance, which might help in the understanding of, prevention of or methods to deal with rape (both in victims and rapists).
The violation element has nothing to do with the level of actual physical violence and the reason I amongst others including you raised rough sex, S&M bondage or torture etc was presumably to demonstrate that consent is the central issue not the form of the act itself. Should you care to reconsider my post from this morning you'll see that after a discussion of violent sex I clearly state:
"If it's consensual, no matter how violent or sick you might think it is, it's not rape."
It is very apparent that everybody in this thread understands the difference between rough sex and rape, only you Gem are continuing to level insults about people's lack of understanding. What I am talking about is the idea that the person entering the tunnel is actually seeking an experience of what they consider to be pseudo-rape, not rape. Which would mean they did feel there was a sexual element to rape.
Take tourture for example, since you equated the two in your original post. Torture in it's purest form is designed merely to inflict pain and has no sexual element to it (unless by happy coincidence the torturers job also happens to be his hobby), however the individuals who partake in S&M, bondage etc are taking part in a consensual fantasy based on torture because at some base level they find some element of torture (or rather their own concept of torture) arousing. Do they actually want to be really tortured? of course not. It's exactly the same with our hypothetical chap who goes into the rape tunnel, he knows he will be subject to a bout of rough sex, which he equates with rape, it isn't rape, it's probably just bad sex, but the important thing is that his concept of rape arouses him for whatever reason. The whole reason this is arousing is because it blurs the lines of consent and violence.
Quote
Sure there are people that like torture, but they are usually called psychopaths.
They are
called sadists and there is no reason to believe they are all psychopaths by any reasonable definition of the word.