[D'rek]

-Traveller finally loses a swordfight after accidentally putting both his blue colored contacts in the same eye

[T'renn]

The Part where Hood takes a job as farmhand, wasn't that what Pratchetts Death did ?


What we also won't see:

-The Crippled God getting his tent/pocketwarren replaced with a trailer

- A non-EMO Tiste Andi

- Harry Potter appearing from a trainstation-like building

This post has been edited by Imperial High Mage Tayschrenn: 24 May 2009 - 08:24 PM

[tiam]

Gruntle forming a new legion and after using up riff and raff decides to name them as individual pairs. This causes the wars in the wastelands to be dominated by last stands from tango and cash and ant an dec

[Daser]

There will be no Timeline issues at all.

Kruppe will start an exercise program which instantly becomes the new fab in Djahuristan.

[Toc]

- The Bonehunters escaping from the K'Chain to Assail, only to be greeted by John Hammond who warns them of even bigger lizards.

[Tarcanus]

- Braven Tooth's odd knack for naming recruits will perish, thus leaving the Malazan Empire with soldiers named Bob, Eugene, and Jon.

- All of the factions moving towards the Wasteland will suddenly realize the truth of power-draws-power and decide that maybe a massive convergence is not where they'd rather be.

- Icarium will stumble across a hidden cache of clock-shaped cupcakes. After eating them, his memory will be restored.

- Shadowthrone decides mounted hound cavalry is an excellent idea for Cotillion and himself. The Hounds of Shadow were humiliated.

- It turns out that all Burn had to do was wake up to cleanse herself of the CG. In her comatose state her antibodies were also hindered. She comes to this conclusion in a dream and then wakes up - thus ending the CG's threat.

[Assail]

Toc, on May 26 2009, 09:33 AM, said:

- The Bonehunters escaping from the K'Chain to Assail, only to be greeted by John Hammond who warns them of even bigger lizards.

You take the cake, sir!

[masan's saddle]

Samar Dev finally allows Karsa a shot at "splitting her in two".

30 seconds later a redfaced Karsa is overheard saying, " ..i'm sorry Dev, these things happen..., I was nervous...."

[Slow Ben]

Tarcanus, on May 26 2009, 03:34 PM, said:

- Braven Tooth's odd knack for naming recruits will perish, thus leaving the Malazan Empire with soldiers named Bob, Eugene, and Jon.

This one is awesome!


Steven Erikson introduces 2 new Malazan Marines named Fluffy and AIJ who do nothing but follow around the other Malazans commenting on every discussion they have.

Fluffy is finally killed after annoying the Elder Gods one too many times.

[Eddie Dean]

Karsa's attempt to slay a god will be thrwarted when P.E.T.A. filles a massive lawsuit for killing the two Deragoth.

[Assail]

Slow Ben, on May 26 2009, 04:10 PM, said:

Tarcanus, on May 26 2009, 03:34 PM, said:

- Braven Tooth's odd knack for naming recruits will perish, thus leaving the Malazan Empire with soldiers named Bob, Eugene, and Jon.

This one is awesome!


Steven Erikson introduces 2 new Malazan Marines named Fluffy and AIJ who do nothing but follow around the other Malazans commenting on every discussion they have.

Fluffy is finally killed after annoying the Elder Gods one too many times.

This sounds like a lot of comedic reli-

[Hoods Balls]

It's revealed that The Crippled God is no one else than Kim Jong Il who takes over Wu, turn everyone into brainwashed dog eating North Koreans, thus the chain of dogs finally comes to its end

[Tarcanus]

- Crokus will leave on a quest to find the Crippled God's horcruxes.

[Cude]

Paran will replace Bruce Forsythe as host of "Play Your Cards Right"

Fiddler will use his uncanny knack with the deck to win the main prize of a car and ride into the wastelands at the head of the 14th playing "We`re on the Road Again" on the stereo

Strings ( who because he has a different name no one will know its the same contestant) will use his uncanny knack with the deck to win the main prize of a speedboat and wonder "WTF" am I going to do with this.

Captain Kindly will donate his wages to charity and replace Dear Deirdre as the agony aunt for the Sun newspaper

The Segula 1st will have been found out to have gained his rank by being the best at Scottish Highland Dancing

Anomander Rake will be found alive and well on a beach in California taking a well earned rest to top up his suntan

[Wanderer]

Tehol and Bugg decide to pit the fate of the world upon a brand new contest

Wu's got Talent.

The Seguleh 1st and Topper ( Who's just written a novel entitled " Imperial Wasteland - It ain't all bad") will do a duet of an Elton John Song.....probably " Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting ....K'Chain Che'Malle.

Fiddler ....juggles.
Bottle and the Eres'al fornicate on stage.....to Simon Cowell's delight. " This is exactly what this competition is looking for....something new, sweaty and hairy."

Nimander reads depressing, suicidal poetry.

Traveller and Karsa act out a scene from the classic play " Anomandy and Envy".....
Traveller plays Envy

The Crippled God's master plan get's interupted by Ant and Dec who inform him that, because he only got 1/3 of the public vote, he has to spend the night with Gok Wang.

Icarium get's enraged when he can't vote for Fiddler because the phone lines are too busy. Icarium destroys the competition and the Entire Lether / Kollanse continent.

Mappo arrives late dressed as a Storm Trooper .....

[Sindriss]

The Crippled god won't be killed by a holy handgranade, not even one whichhas its own religious following.

Assail is revealed to be Sir Lancelot running around killing everybody and saying sorry afterwards.

The black knight actually doesn't guard the isle of the crippled god. (and he wouldn't have been much of a success either)

[Trull's son]

The chicken one better not have been a reference to a certain other evil chicken i once had the misfortune of discovering....

[foolio]

I think this one is my favorite

Quote

- Braven Tooth's odd knack for naming recruits will perish, thus leaving the Malazan Empire with soldiers named Bob, Eugene, and Jon.

Find out that the Malazan Book of the Fallen all turns out to be Bobby Ewing's dream

The crippled god turns out to be James Brolin, thus explaining his misery.

This post has been edited by foolio: 03 June 2009 - 08:20 PM

[Use Of Weapons]

All of the English words that SE uses to name things turn out to be clues to what will happen to them.

The Perish...perish. Black Coral...becomes an aquarium. All the fists...get punched in the face by Gesler. Stormy...throws a tantrum.

[Rahvinn]

The Sword never disbanded, they met every thursday for their book club, Dassem never brought cookies so they never told him where it was held

Hellian finds Osric and runs an AA for alcoholic soldiers

Tavore announces shes had the surgery and is now just Tav

The Errant nudges a bolder which rolls the wrong way and crushes him

Cotillion and Shadowthrone have a falling out and Cotillion moves out of the Shadow Keep to the Shadow pool house

The Shadown Hounds have Shadow Puppies who are near invisible and chew up the place

Urko punches Gesler in the face and the world ends