[Aptorian]

Isn't it about time we made the list? Not just any list - I'm talking of the list to end all lists. A set of guidelines if you will, to delineate the once unwritten understanding of among the Malazan peoples? A rule book of a sort, perhaps, a kind of encyclopedia of the Malazan culture.

I propose we make THE MALAZAN LAWS. A list of things that any user of the Malazan Forums should know and never ever question. A list of the things we love. The things we hate. Hard truths and fond pleasures. Malazan Constants. Malazan Beliefs.

Below people will put forth suggestions for things to be added to the list, and we will discuss and decide what should be included. They can be bookforum related, they can be Inn related, they can be forum related, so long as they are Malazan they can be nominated and if a consensus can be agreed upon they will be entered here.

This opening post will serve as an update and summary of what has been introduced into the MALAZAN LAWS.

The growing list

Quote

THE MALAZAN BOOK OF FORUM LAWS

1 Thou Shalt Not Worship Other Authors Than Erikson and Esslemont

2 Cherish Thy Bacon, For It Is Holy (A pig is fine too)

3 Blame Brood For He Is Surely To Blame (past)

4 Damn that Cat For Brood Is No Longer Here To Take The Punishment (Present)

5 Dolorous Menhir Thinks Your Thread Is Stupid (IADMAITTTIS)

6 Do Not Anger The Gazebo (Don't)

7 I For One Welcome Our New Angry Gazebo Overlords

8 Wolverine Is Ho'd Win Unless It Be A Mage Battle For Then It is Magneto

9 BRRRAAAAIIINZZZZZZ ... All Your Inside Knowledge Are Belong To Us

10 Thou Shalt Always Ridicule the Yearded One and Dicky Rahl

11 THE TIMELINE IS NOT IMPORTANT, THE TIMELINE IS NOT IMPORTANT, THE TIMELINE IS NOT IMPORTANT.

12 Mafia is Serious Business (Just ask Mac)

13 There Can Only Be Win

14 KEEEEEEEEEEEN! Is The Last Thing You'll Ever Hear

15 Drunk posting? FUCK YEAH!

16 Rodeos Don't Wear Pants

17 Eye Color Doesn't Matter... Neither Does Your Sex, By The Way

[Aptorian]

Suggestion for the First Law of the Malazan Forum:

You will not worship other Authors than the mighty Erikson and Esslemont.

[beru]

they shalt not abuse the name of bacon

[HoosierDaddy]

Blame Brood. Always.
Dolorous Menhir will think your thread is stupid.

[Grief]

DO NOT ANGER THE GAZEBO.

[Aptorian]

THE MALAZAN BOOK OF FORUM LAWS

1 Thou Shalt Not Worship Other Authors Than Erikson and Esslemont

2 Cherish Thy Bacon, For It Is Holy (A pig is fine too)

3 Blame Brood For He Is Surely To Blame (past)

4 Damn that Cat For Brood Is No Longer Here To Take The Punishment (Present)

5 Dolorous Menhir Thinks Your Thread Is Stupid (IADMAITTTIS)

6 Do Not Anger The Gazebo (Don't)

7 I For One Welcome Our New Angry Gazebo Overlords

8 Wolverine Is Ho'd Win Unless It Be A Mage Battle For Then It is Magneto

[HoosierDaddy]

Debate with Gem in the Discussion forums at your own sanity's peril.

Edit: Also, Wolverine is going to slash you for calling him a ho.

This post has been edited by HoosierDaddy: 14 May 2009 - 06:20 AM

[Sindriss]

I understand and support most of what is already written.

but where on earth does "DO NOT ANGER THE GAZEBO. " come from? I must have completely missed that one.

Also, I never expected any ransom for it.

[Thelomen Toblerone]

BRAINZZZZZ.......

[Grimjust Bearegular]

Thous Shalt Always Ridicule Fans of the Yearded One!

[lobo the wolfman]

Readers of Twilight are to be Marked and Damned....... or at least pointed and laughted at.

and


THE TIMELINE IS NOT IMPORTANT.

[Puck]

lobo the wolfman, on May 14 2009, 02:33 PM, said:

THE TIMELINE IS NOT IMPORTANT.

This *nods*

[Gem Windcaster]

Abyss wins! Clearly.


LOL @ HD

This post has been edited by Gem Windcaster: 15 May 2009 - 12:21 PM

[bubba]

Sindriss, on May 14 2009, 04:40 AM, said:

I understand and support most of what is already written.

but where on earth does "DO NOT ANGER THE GAZEBO. " come from? I must have completely missed that one.

Also, I never expected any ransom for it.

 you_have_angered_the_gazebo.jpg (96.87K)
Number of downloads: 5

[HoosierDaddy]

Well, I might be a non-member, but seriously:

Mafia is srs business.

There can be only win.

This post has been edited by HoosierDaddy: 16 May 2009 - 06:32 AM

[HoosierDaddy]

KEEEEEEEEEEEN! Is the last thing you'll ever hear.
Drunk posting? Fuck yeah.
Midnight Tides IS NOT a stand alone novel, Wikipedia!

Edit: for Illy.

He's Torvald FUCKING Nom.

This post has been edited by HoosierDaddy: 18 May 2009 - 06:30 AM

[Aptorian]

Thelomen Toblerone, on May 14 2009, 01:03 PM, said:

BRAINZZZZZ.......

Yes. This needs to be incorporated. Allthough it has lost some of its splendor since Kallor stopped taunting us with his inside knowledge.

Grimhilde, on May 14 2009, 02:18 PM, said:

Thous Shalt Always Ridicule Fans of the Yearded One!

YES

lobo the wolfman, on May 14 2009, 02:33 PM, said:

Readers of Twilight are to be Marked and Damned....... or at least pointed and laughted at.

and


THE TIMELINE IS NOT IMPORTANT.

I don't think Twillight has yet to earn enough scorn that it deseres a place here. But seeing as they're planning to make 5 films, it'll probably make it eventually.

Timeline is not imortant added to list.

Gem Windcaster, on May 15 2009, 02:20 PM, said:

Abyss wins! Clearly.

Ha ha ha ha... no.

HoosierDaddy, on May 16 2009, 08:25 AM, said:

Well, I might be a non-member, but seriously:

Mafia is srs business.

There can be only win.

These two are gold. They're in.

HoosierDaddy, on May 18 2009, 08:17 AM, said:

KEEEEEEEEEEEN! Is the last thing you'll ever hear.
Drunk posting? Fuck yeah.
Midnight Tides IS NOT a stand alone novel, Wikipedia!

I like the first two, not sure about the last one though...

[HoosierDaddy]

Eh, I agree it's weak. But, I mean, that shot a lot of Wikipedia's credit with me. 'Cause it's so ridiculously WRONG.

[D'rek]

Your eye color doesn't matter? (Traveller/Dassem)

[Aptorian]

There Can Only Be One True Master of His Domain (A Non Touching Itself Rock)