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No seriously... the vampire doesn't actually sparkle when he gets into sunlight does he?
GOD DAMMIT I HATE MODERN FILMS/URBAN FANTASY PISSING ALL OVER THE CONCEPT OF THE MYTHICAL MONSTER THAT IS THE VAMPIRE! FOR FUCKS SAKE VAMPIRES ARE UNHOLY MONSTERS THAT FEED ON THE LIVING AND LIVE IN CRYPTS. THEY DON'T GO TO SCHOOL AND WORRY ABOUT THEIR HAIR! THEY ARE ROTTING CORPSES WALKING ABOUT PREYING UPON THE LIVING!!!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKK!!!
Ye Big Movie thread
#3082
Illuyankas 
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 04:40 PM
You know what's better? "Do I dazzle you?" IS AN ACTUAL LINE FROM THE BOOK
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
#3083
Mezla PigDog
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 06:15 PM
Morgoth, on Jan 11 2009, 04:06 AM, said:
Well you owe me a beer. remember that? I've accepted to see this movie with my little sister next sunday. I'm kinda looking forwards to it now:P
You are in for one heck of a treat, Morgy! The main theme is "sexual tension" which is portrayed using lots of slow motion shots of them staring at each other set to bizzare guitar riffs! I read a review that ended with "Imagine the Lost Boys as remade for your weird goth little sister".
Illy, you know far too much about this subject. Methinks you protest too much and are secretly a Twilight fangirl.
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
#3084
Illuyankas
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 06:22 PM
Any possiblity of me liking the series was eliminated when I saw some excerpts of the book. Oh, and the summary of what happens in the last one. If someone posts 'you'll like this, it's sweet!' with a chunk of book detailing how a werewolf 'imprints' or whatever they do, which is basically falling in love with a child, and is being a surrogate father figure to them until they grow old enough to have sex with and then he'll do so AND EVERYONE IS OK WITH THIS, then you know something is wrong. Also shit writing is shit.
Mez, I am actually enjoying hating this series so much more than if I was a Twilight fangirl.
Mez, I am actually enjoying hating this series so much more than if I was a Twilight fangirl.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
#3086
Mezla PigDog
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 06:37 PM
Aptorian, on Jan 11 2009, 02:29 PM, said:
A fuck it, I have to go find a streaming site for this. Nothing better on the tv anyway.
Be careful, you will not believe in sex-before-marriage when you are done. That or not believe in sex before vampirification......the message is so very subtle.
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
#3087
Illuyankas
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 06:44 PM
Be careful Apt, you may end up finding this sort of literature entertaining afterwards.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
#3089
RodeoRanch
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 07:52 PM
Saw "Death Race" last night.
Wow. Takes stupid to a new level.
Wow. Takes stupid to a new level.
#3090
Aptorian
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 08:18 PM
I am now watching Twilight, it is an... awkward film.
Vampire boy just showed up for the first time. He looks like he's wearing lipstick and they painted his eyebrows. Also he broods a lot.
Fuck, I can't stop chuckling at the actors attempt at portraying "sexual tension" by tilting their heads, pouting their lips and staring like a crazy person.
Vampire boy just showed up for the first time. He looks like he's wearing lipstick and they painted his eyebrows. Also he broods a lot.
Fuck, I can't stop chuckling at the actors attempt at portraying "sexual tension" by tilting their heads, pouting their lips and staring like a crazy person.
#3091
HoosierDaddy
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 08:28 PM
Aptorian, on Jan 11 2009, 03:18 PM, said:
Fuck, I can't stop chuckling at the actors attempt at portraying "sexual tension" by tilting their heads, pouting their lips and staring like a crazy person.
My manly bravado has just been flippently destroyed.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
#3092
Aptorian
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 09:03 PM
*vamp boy rips open shirt in sunlight and sparkles* "It's like diamonds... you're beautifull!" the airhead proclaims... OH FUCK NO THEY DID NOT JUST MAKE THE ACTOR SAY THAT!
Why didn't the director just make him pull out his penis in the sunlight so she could fall upon him like the little teenage harlot that she is?!
OH THE RAGE!
Why didn't the director just make him pull out his penis in the sunlight so she could fall upon him like the little teenage harlot that she is?!
OH THE RAGE!
#3093
Dag
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 09:23 PM
This just saved my otherwise boring day. 
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
#3094
Aptorian
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 10:46 PM
Okay finished it.
Some very interesting concept about there being two old familes. One native indian wolf worshippers and the vampire one who came there hundreds of years ago as hunters. This was of course not utilised at all and I now have blue balls of the lack of awesome.
There's a big vampire fight in the end which is also extremely cool and was almost worth watching the film for.
Besides this the movie is utterly forgettable.
Oh and they had to put in a vampire baseball match. Oh Look at us we are vampires and we have traditionel american family values like playing baseball together. Lets show off for the new girl how crazy we are. Bla bla bla. Fuck I wish a bolt of lightning sent by god had come down then and blasted them to cinders...
Then there was the above mentioned seen where he just barges into her house in the middle of the night and tells her he's been watching her sleep for two months, oh and he also really likes her... ooookay... STAKE HIM! STAKE HIM IN THE CROTCH, YOU SILLY COW!!!
This movie sucked (ha ha ha, see what I did there? It's a vampire film. So when I said sucked, it was like vampires drinking... oh never mind)
That reminds me, maybe I just wasn't concentrating enough on the laughable action but at no point during this film did I laugh with the film. It is utterly devoid of proper humor. How this thing can take itself serious I have no idea.
Some very interesting concept about there being two old familes. One native indian wolf worshippers and the vampire one who came there hundreds of years ago as hunters. This was of course not utilised at all and I now have blue balls of the lack of awesome.
There's a big vampire fight in the end which is also extremely cool and was almost worth watching the film for.
Besides this the movie is utterly forgettable.
Oh and they had to put in a vampire baseball match. Oh Look at us we are vampires and we have traditionel american family values like playing baseball together. Lets show off for the new girl how crazy we are. Bla bla bla. Fuck I wish a bolt of lightning sent by god had come down then and blasted them to cinders...
Then there was the above mentioned seen where he just barges into her house in the middle of the night and tells her he's been watching her sleep for two months, oh and he also really likes her... ooookay... STAKE HIM! STAKE HIM IN THE CROTCH, YOU SILLY COW!!!
This movie sucked (ha ha ha, see what I did there? It's a vampire film. So when I said sucked, it was like vampires drinking... oh never mind)
That reminds me, maybe I just wasn't concentrating enough on the laughable action but at no point during this film did I laugh with the film. It is utterly devoid of proper humor. How this thing can take itself serious I have no idea.
#3095
HoosierDaddy
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Posted 11 January 2009 - 10:50 PM
All through that post I was amazed at the fact that you actually seemed to get some entertainment out of it. Then I read, "This movie sucked", and I don't know what to think anymore.
BTW, his crotch is protected by the glare coming off of hsi diamond shine which blinds people.
BTW, his crotch is protected by the glare coming off of hsi diamond shine which blinds people.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
#3097
HoosierDaddy
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Posted 12 January 2009 - 10:03 PM
Watched Pineapple Express... 3 out of 4 stars. Entertaining, grossly over-the-top at points, and I'm sure would even be funnier to watch while stoned. Franco is awesome in this flick.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
#3099
caladanbrood
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Posted 12 January 2009 - 10:44 PM
Aptorian, on Jan 11 2009, 08:18 PM, said:
Also he broods a lot.
I deny that utterly!!
I went to see The Spirit the other day... actually good fun, and Samuel L Motherfucking Jackson is extremely good as a crazed nazi scientist genius. Not gonna make you think about anything, but I enjoyed it a lot
O xein', angellein Lakedaimoniois hoti têde; keimetha tois keinon rhémasi peithomenoi.
#3100
The Drum
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Posted 12 January 2009 - 10:58 PM
Currently watching UNBREAKABLE on ITV1, eventhough i've seen it loads of times, i can still watch it and enjoy it. Not everyones cup of tea i know , but one of my favs
Dem bones, Dem Bones, Dem Dry Bones.
