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A simple equation:
THE MATRIX > ANIMATRIX > RELOADED + REVOLUTIONS
And another:
ROBOCOP > ROBOCOP 2 > ROBOCOP ANIMATED SERIES > ROBOCOP 3 > ROBOCOP REBOOT
Ye Big Movie thread
#6361
Spoilsport Stonny 
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Posted 14 February 2014 - 03:11 PM
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
#6362
Illuyankas
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Posted 14 February 2014 - 04:05 PM
worry, on 13 February 2014 - 09:55 PM, said:
One of those "moments" was a cave rave.
Don't forget orgasm cake! If I can't, why should all of you get away with it?
Morgoth, on 13 February 2014 - 10:24 PM, said:
And if you watch them now the CGI is so embarrassingly dated. The first film doesn't suffer from that at all.
It's obscenely jarring going from live action wooden plank Neo to CGI doughy children's toy Neo. I tried to rewatch the trilogy with my girlfriend a while back and we had to stop and stare at each other during the burly brawl scene cause it was soooooo baaaaaaad
(I would have said CGI Neo had an emotionless doll's face that never changes once but then again Keanu Reeves, soooooo)
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
#6364
QuickTidal
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Posted 14 February 2014 - 06:55 PM
Spoilsport Stonny, on 14 February 2014 - 03:11 PM, said:
A simple equation:
THE MATRIX > ANIMATRIX > RELOADED + REVOLUTIONS
And another:
ROBOCOP > ROBOCOP 2 > ROBOCOP ANIMATED SERIES > ROBOCOP 3 > ROBOCOP REBOOT
THE MATRIX > ANIMATRIX > RELOADED + REVOLUTIONS
And another:
ROBOCOP > ROBOCOP 2 > ROBOCOP ANIMATED SERIES > ROBOCOP 3 > ROBOCOP REBOOT
I fully agree with the above about the MATRIX series. That's the correct order of greatness. RELOADED and REVOLUTIONS aren't a scratch on the original....but as a part of the Multimedia experience of the Matrix periphiaea...they work. For me anyways...but then I'm in the minority.
As to ROBOCOP....I've actually heard that a lot of people have been enjoying the ROBOCOP reboot since its Wednesday release. They said it does an admirable job of porting the story into 2014 as opposed to the 80's....so Drones replace Regan Era Republican stuff...ect...It's obviously never going to be the original...but if it's a decent action flick, I'll be entertained. Plus, I dig the new suit.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora
"Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone." ~Ursula Vernon
"Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone." ~Ursula Vernon
#6365
Spoilsport Stonny
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Posted 14 February 2014 - 07:08 PM
Yeah, it'll probably be fine, although incredibly unnecessary.
That was cool. Is the conclusion up yet? I want to see what they thought of it. I forgot to say this last night but I never ever get up to pee in a movie unless it's really fixing to come out. Well last last I barely felt the need to go to restroom but I was so bored I went anyway, then after I was done I decided to go make a call and smoke so I was out a good 15 mins lol.
No not yet. But if you haven't ever seen any of their other stuff, I suggest you take some time to watch their review of Phantom Menace. Its seriously the best thing ever put on the internet that isn't boobs.
Here is a link.
Briar King, on 14 February 2014 - 04:11 AM, said:
Spoilsport Stonny, on 13 February 2014 - 09:48 PM, said:
That was cool. Is the conclusion up yet? I want to see what they thought of it. I forgot to say this last night but I never ever get up to pee in a movie unless it's really fixing to come out. Well last last I barely felt the need to go to restroom but I was so bored I went anyway, then after I was done I decided to go make a call and smoke so I was out a good 15 mins lol.
No not yet. But if you haven't ever seen any of their other stuff, I suggest you take some time to watch their review of Phantom Menace. Its seriously the best thing ever put on the internet that isn't boobs.
Here is a link.
This post has been edited by Spoilsport Stonny: 14 February 2014 - 07:18 PM
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
#6367
Spoilsport Stonny
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Posted 15 February 2014 - 01:42 AM
Dude. Slint. They are the fulcrum upon which i balance musical integrity. Awesome post Worry. Your best ever.
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
#6369
QuickTidal
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Posted 15 February 2014 - 12:50 PM
worry, on 15 February 2014 - 04:44 AM, said:
You must have missed my series of "provocative" self portraits then.
That installation was in LA for one day, and it was just you sitting in an empty room taking selfies.
No one wants to pay for that.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora
"Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone." ~Ursula Vernon
"Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone." ~Ursula Vernon
#6371
Illuyankas
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Posted 15 February 2014 - 06:26 PM
Twenty minutes ago I wouldn't have understood that reference. Also, stop stealing all my material, it's a... crying shame *sunglasses the fuck up*
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
#6372
QuickTidal
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Posted 15 February 2014 - 10:39 PM
Watched the Criterion BluRay of YOJIMBO...jeebus hell...When Kurosawa got together with Toshiro Mifune and his cinematographers...he was just a fucking flat out master. Full. Stop. That film is glory itself.
Fuck.
So. Good.
Fuck.
So. Good.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora
"Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone." ~Ursula Vernon
"Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone." ~Ursula Vernon
#6374
Spoilsport Stonny
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Posted 15 February 2014 - 11:21 PM
worry, on 15 February 2014 - 04:44 AM, said:
You must have missed my series of "provocative" self portraits then.
No i saw that. Gave rep too. I was happy to finally have a visual representation of "mangina".
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
#6375
McLovin
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Posted 16 February 2014 - 12:59 PM
Saw the new ROBOCOP. It was as good as the original, but there was something about it I didn't like. Took me a while to put my finger on it. They play up the ethical and political issues, which I dug. They give the wife a bigger role, which I also dug. Murphy was also aware of his transformation and had to train up, which was all good too. Awesome supporting cast. But simultaneously they sanitized and video-gamified the humor and action to make it PG-13. (I was shocked how many small kids were in attendance at my theater, which is of course precisely why they did that. An R-rated ROBOCOP would've flopped at the box office.)
So, I guess overall as good as the original, though very different from the original. 3 bleeped-out Pat Novak rants out of 5.
So, I guess overall as good as the original, though very different from the original. 3 bleeped-out Pat Novak rants out of 5.
OK, I think I got it, but just in case, can you say the whole thing over again? I wasn't really listening.
#6376
Spoilsport Stonny
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Posted 16 February 2014 - 03:52 PM
I saw it last night, too. I didn't really like it at all, although I think it looked really good. I thought the story was stupid, and the framing device of Sam Jackson's Sean Hannity impression was corny, in a condescending way.
The whole "You have to talk to your son" thing is insulting. Lady, the guy got blown up to bits. I don't think his mental state is ripe for having a father son discussion. And his wife is no peach, either. Who allows their shell of a fomer husband to be used in a science experiment? And then she's making moral judgements on the fleshlump in a can that is having doubts about seeing his son after he suffered from serious, repetitive traumas? If we are supposed to buy into the humanity theme, shouldn't we be made to appreciate the depths to which his PTSD might be interfering with his family life? Instead, we need the wife to be the type of character that can't move on from the death of her husband, who before his accident was incredibly callous about his disregard for any potential affects of interfering in a criminal network that likely includes police officers from his own precinct. Are you even taking the kid to therapy? Are YOU in therapy?
And here is what the main problem was. As Robocop shot people, you couldn't tell whether he was killing them or incapacitating them. Its nebulous. That's a pretty big deal, though. Not knowing the difference makes it impossible to tell the quality of the humanity that he retained. Which, ordinarily wouldn't be a problem, but when that's one of the main themes of the movie and if we can't tell where the protagonist stands on it, that makes it hard to give a fuck about his convictions. But hey, when you just throw cut scenes from video games up on a screen and call it a film, what more am I supposed to expect?
Another part from the original that was cool was that as soon as Robocop was activated he went out to do cop stuff. There was no "solving his own murder" stuff. He went right out and responded to calls on the radio. Standard crime stuff: attempted rape, a hostage situation, a maniac shooting up a mom and pop and demanding to be fornicated. It gave a sense of how far Detroit had fallen and how crime-riddled it was. One of the best scenes was when the cop flipped Robocop the keys and he takes off. Nothing like that here. Just a bunch of bullshit.
No this movie was really bad, and there is no sense of the overall rate of crime. Was it all simply because some crooked cops were selling guns to criminals? Where does the need for a cyborg cop come from? Yes, I get that "the people" want a robot with humanity, but why do they need it? What is going on in Detroit that requires the use of ED209's and android policemen. Just because you have the tools and technology? That's not enough for a narrative. The city doesn't look run down. The Murphy home looks like its in a nice place and in good shape too.
And why crooked cops? That was one aspect of the original that I liked. In their version of Detroit, it was more profitable to be a criminal. Crooked cops weren't the enemy, it was a pretty brutal and sociopathic gang of criminals. Which shows that you don't have to have some convoluted conspiracy behind everything. They had nothing personal against Murphy. It was that he was a cop (good) and they were criminals (evil). I know that life is not so simple, but this a a sci-fi action movie and your're trying to get me to relate on a basic level. Its the perfect time for basic archetypes.
The whole "Prime Directives" aspect of the original was great because 1- it was foreshadowed and 2- it was a plot device that needed to be overcome for the hero to win the day. What were the stumbling blocks with the new one? His son needed him? His dopamine levels were too low? His partner needed him? OCP CEO would rather be God than make his company money? Terrible motivations from the baddies and no real reasoon to root for the good guy.
Good thing I was stoned, or I would have hated it. Instead, I spent a nice saturday watching some eye candy on the IMAX screen. Not a complete waste of money, and at least I could cut off the majority of my brain power and enjoy some visual WalMart. Seriously though, if movies like Twilight are criticized, nay! publically flogged!!! for pandering to the lowest common denominator, than we should be no different with this giant hunk of crap. It was sad and dumb and glossy.
The whole "You have to talk to your son" thing is insulting. Lady, the guy got blown up to bits. I don't think his mental state is ripe for having a father son discussion. And his wife is no peach, either. Who allows their shell of a fomer husband to be used in a science experiment? And then she's making moral judgements on the fleshlump in a can that is having doubts about seeing his son after he suffered from serious, repetitive traumas? If we are supposed to buy into the humanity theme, shouldn't we be made to appreciate the depths to which his PTSD might be interfering with his family life? Instead, we need the wife to be the type of character that can't move on from the death of her husband, who before his accident was incredibly callous about his disregard for any potential affects of interfering in a criminal network that likely includes police officers from his own precinct. Are you even taking the kid to therapy? Are YOU in therapy?
And here is what the main problem was. As Robocop shot people, you couldn't tell whether he was killing them or incapacitating them. Its nebulous. That's a pretty big deal, though. Not knowing the difference makes it impossible to tell the quality of the humanity that he retained. Which, ordinarily wouldn't be a problem, but when that's one of the main themes of the movie and if we can't tell where the protagonist stands on it, that makes it hard to give a fuck about his convictions. But hey, when you just throw cut scenes from video games up on a screen and call it a film, what more am I supposed to expect?
Another part from the original that was cool was that as soon as Robocop was activated he went out to do cop stuff. There was no "solving his own murder" stuff. He went right out and responded to calls on the radio. Standard crime stuff: attempted rape, a hostage situation, a maniac shooting up a mom and pop and demanding to be fornicated. It gave a sense of how far Detroit had fallen and how crime-riddled it was. One of the best scenes was when the cop flipped Robocop the keys and he takes off. Nothing like that here. Just a bunch of bullshit.
No this movie was really bad, and there is no sense of the overall rate of crime. Was it all simply because some crooked cops were selling guns to criminals? Where does the need for a cyborg cop come from? Yes, I get that "the people" want a robot with humanity, but why do they need it? What is going on in Detroit that requires the use of ED209's and android policemen. Just because you have the tools and technology? That's not enough for a narrative. The city doesn't look run down. The Murphy home looks like its in a nice place and in good shape too.
And why crooked cops? That was one aspect of the original that I liked. In their version of Detroit, it was more profitable to be a criminal. Crooked cops weren't the enemy, it was a pretty brutal and sociopathic gang of criminals. Which shows that you don't have to have some convoluted conspiracy behind everything. They had nothing personal against Murphy. It was that he was a cop (good) and they were criminals (evil). I know that life is not so simple, but this a a sci-fi action movie and your're trying to get me to relate on a basic level. Its the perfect time for basic archetypes.
The whole "Prime Directives" aspect of the original was great because 1- it was foreshadowed and 2- it was a plot device that needed to be overcome for the hero to win the day. What were the stumbling blocks with the new one? His son needed him? His dopamine levels were too low? His partner needed him? OCP CEO would rather be God than make his company money? Terrible motivations from the baddies and no real reasoon to root for the good guy.
Good thing I was stoned, or I would have hated it. Instead, I spent a nice saturday watching some eye candy on the IMAX screen. Not a complete waste of money, and at least I could cut off the majority of my brain power and enjoy some visual WalMart. Seriously though, if movies like Twilight are criticized, nay! publically flogged!!! for pandering to the lowest common denominator, than we should be no different with this giant hunk of crap. It was sad and dumb and glossy.
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
#6377
blackzoid
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Posted 16 February 2014 - 10:13 PM
I don't get how the lack of R rated violence is a problem personally. It doesn't have to be needlessly violent to tell the story it wants to tell. Original be damned. Vern liked it too, which is all the confirmation I need that, yes, this remake deserves to exist and has something to say. (Drones are bad.)
#6378
Spoilsport Stonny
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Posted 17 February 2014 - 12:14 AM
It was incredibly violent. No blood spatters but lotsa shooting, punching, vehicular mayhem, exlploding, burnt corpses...
It was pretty violent. But the problem is that the story it tells is dull and contrived.
It was pretty violent. But the problem is that the story it tells is dull and contrived.
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
#6380
blackzoid
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Posted 17 February 2014 - 10:04 AM
He is a film reviewer. "Life and Art of Vern"
His tastes and mine tend to sync up often so I would tend to use him as a reference, though not always. James Berardinelli too, who also gave it an ok review.
His tastes and mine tend to sync up often so I would tend to use him as a reference, though not always. James Berardinelli too, who also gave it an ok review.
This post has been edited by blackzoid: 17 February 2014 - 10:20 AM
