[Illuyankas]

At least one of those STFU's is a STFFU, for SHUT THE FUCKING FUCK UP, but that one was easy to miss so I'll let you off.

On a TMI Illy's balls note, it just hailed outside so I'm filling a bucket with hailstones and getting direct relief. If the commitee for the voting of this year's Most Refined Forum Member Of The Year show up, I'll be right back.

[Thelomen Toblerone]

I really liked it, I have to say. Except for Return of the King, ofc. That's my only real problem with the versions, I knew it wouldnt be the same as the books so I easily accepted the differences with joy. Until the end, where they completely failed to include the razing of the shire.

That's the whole fucking undertone for the books - the normally timid hobbits gained the courage and self-belief from the quest to stand up and defend their home. Not to mention the complete exemption of Saruman from the film. Complete fail.

But I loved the first two, especially the Fellowship OTR - could watch that again and again. Sean Bean was inspired casting.

[Yellow]

The razing of the shire was ridiculous and didn't even work in the book, let alone in a film.

[Silencer]

Eh. One awesome scene from the extended RotK -

The Witch-King vs Gandalf. Old man in white gets pwned by Witch-King with Fell Beast. Fuck yeah. I know, it wasn't in the books. I know that it's probably unlikely. But fuck, if you're going to have the Witch-King get pwned by a girl on a oh-shit-how-do-I-beat-this-guy note (let's face it, throughout the entire series and lore, "Man" means "Of the Race of Men" - all of a sudden there is gender distinction? wtf?) then having a scene where he ACTUALLY DOES SOMETHING kind of makes up for that.

Reason the Silmarillion is better than LotR - it's bad guys are actually pwnage and do stuff!

[Traveller]

Illy, you can ignore this, I don't want you to burst a blood vessel.

I like the extended versions, as the films are paced more like the chapters of the book - they're good to watch in installments over a few days.

Some of the changes were good - like the Moria 'steps'; some seemed totally unnecessary, scenes like Sam nearly drowning in the river; or, more weirdly, the scene in RotK where Sam turns back to go home, after all the 'I'm-not-leaving-you' through the previous films. And, for someone who likes monster movies so much, Jackson made a complete bollocks of the Shelob scene.

Helms Deep, well, wtf? Theodan totally had his thunder stolen in the films, he was responsible for the victory, not Aragorn. And, that 'drain' wasn't so much a 'small culvert' as a huge, orc-shaped gate in the wall, just asking to be breached. Pretty funny the way Theodans beard gets greener in every scene though.

Turning Sauron into a lighthouse was a big letdown. The whole 'wheel of fire' thing was what people saw in their heads; the 'eye wreathed in flame' was what people could see when Sauron was invading their minds, not a physical eye sat on Baradur shining a beam around. He could have been WAAAY better, far more evil.

The return to the Shire would have been great, with Merry and Pippin in armour, taller than the other Hobbits, kicking the crap out of a load of men - missed opportunity there.

This post has been edited by Traveller: 04 February 2009 - 09:42 AM

[Aptorian]

I'll say it again, screw the actual story, Sauron should have shown up in humanoid form somewhere during the ending. I think what originally sold the first film to us grown-up children was the intro where Sauron is swinging the giant mace and fucking up rows of soldiers. It is still one of the coolest scenes in modern film.

[Bauchelain the Evil]

Quote

The Witch-King vs Gandalf. Old man in white gets pwned by Witch-King with Fell Beast. Fuck yeah. I know, it wasn't in the books. I know that it's probably unlikely. But fuck, if you're going to have the Witch-King get pwned by a girl on a oh-shit-how-do-I-beat-this-guy note (let's face it, throughout the entire series and lore, "Man" means "Of the Race of Men" - all of a sudden there is gender distinction? wtf?) then having a scene where he ACTUALLY DOES SOMETHING kind of makes up for that.

I don't want to sound pedantic(especially since I've never really liked LotR) but it has always been debated whetever it was the woman(can't remember name) who killed the Witch King or if it was Merrywho was a Hobbit and thus if would have fulfilled the prophecy about how the Witch King couldn't be killed by Man.

[Silencer]

Quite specifically, Merry stabbed him in the leg, Eowen stabbed him in the face. He did not make dying motions/noises until after he was stabbed in his face. And let's face it, a stab to the leg wouldn't do much to a nazgul, no matter who it was.

[Mezla PigDog]

I just remembered the best scene that is included in the extended version of The Two Towers! It is my favourite bit in the book where Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas have done their epic run after Boromir got killed, chasing the Uruk's that kidnapped Merry and Pippin. Fearing that the Hobbits have come to a sticky end, they go off with resurrected Gandalf. Later they stumble across Merry and Pippin comfortably stuffing their faces and smoking Longbottom Leaf in the watery ruins of Saruman's tower.

Crap, I really am a LOTR nerd. I never knew!

[Stalker]

shhh, it is ok.

I'm a huge LotR nerd. There was this girl I went to school with and for all the releases she dressed up as an elf. Needlesss to say I was never going to stoop that low, but I love the books and have seen the movies more times than I can count. Part of it is they are on my ipod, so they are always with me.

One of my favorite deleated scenes is Aragorn and team after the Paths of the Dead when they attack the Umbar fleet going to help take Minas Tirith.

This post has been edited by Stalker: 04 February 2009 - 07:01 PM

[Macros]

Lotr Geek alert, the prophecy said he shall not fall by hand of man, so merrys stabbity in the leg is part of it imo.
Illy - STFU, I would make t bigger and more obnoxious lettering, but I can't be bothered.

LotR books - film niggles aside two things, cinematically and anti claimatically sucked -
The dead army sweeping up through Minas Tirith - horseshittery of the high level, it looked tacky and was a massive anti climax to the great battle scene outside the gates (I'm ignoring the fact that there was ogres at the 6th gate, which would mean the majourity of the populace and soldiers inside would be dead, just for you illy)
The cities, simply stupidly close together. There can be no debating that, book and maps aside. logically its fucking retarded.
Those two things really pissed me off, and more so because of the shitty look than the detraction from the books.

And once again risking Illys considerable (and terrifying) wrath, yes I know they were never going to be as good at the book, but the potential (had the story line been stuck to) for far more awesome scenes and depth was there, jackson just got a big dildo and fucked it up.

[Cause]

Minas tirith is not meant to be a city. Its supposed to be a fortress of the city of osgilith and minas morgul was its sister fort on the other side.

[Macros]

Minas Ithil was built as a fortress to guard the pass to Mordor, with Cirith Ungol its counterpart on the other side of the Mountains.
The Tower of Anor (tower of the rising sun or something) was the name of the tower built on mount (sp) Mindolline. However, the city was always a city, the 7 circles encompassed the city(Minas Anor). The whole place was renamed Minas Tirith after Minas Ithil was taken by the Nazgul, the subsequent decline of osgiliath prompted the rulers to relocate to Minas Tirith, but it was always a sizeable city. Also as a guard tower it would be totally ineffectual, the Numerenor came from the west, the dangers were in the east, osgiliath (the original capital of gondor) is east of Minas Tirith. Like I said, having Two important cities (argueably the 2 MOST important citie, 1 mile from each others doorsteps (looks less sometimes) with no homesteads between is ridiculous looking, it makes no sense.

[Aptorian]

ITT: Massive nerd knowledge.

[Macros]

Why thank you, I freely admit to being a LotR book nerd, the first epic fantasy I read and read it I did, at least 15/16 times, cover to cover, appendices, the silmarion got quite few reads as did unfinished tales.

[LadyMTL]

I own all 3 extended editions and I have to say that I looooove them...with two tiny exceptions. As Macros said, the dead army sweeping through to destroy all the baddies in ROTK just didn't do it for me. I felt it looked really low budget, especially compared to the rest of the special effects. That, and Legolas bringing down one of the elephants (or "olyphaunts" hehehe) all by his lonesome, it just got on my nerves. I know Legolas was supposed to be one of the "coolest" characters but he never did it for me and that scene just annoyed me, it felt tacked on just for the oh wow value. I was a Boromir fan from the moment I picked up Fellowship, though, so maybe that's why Legolas just struck me as very, very meh.

That said, though, I think the movies were fantastic representations of the books. I doubt very much if it would have been possible to do better, despite a few flaws and the like. There's no such thing as a perfect film, after all. As for the ending of ROTK, I know a lot of people who didn't like it and felt it was too sappy and effiminate but I felt like it was very touching, considering all that they'd been through. It would have been odd for them to just shrug it off and go back to their daily lives. It would have been nice to see a bit of the razing of the Shire but I suppose PJ had to cut some stuff out and that scene was one of them. I honestly didn't miss it all that much.

Ok, now I'll duck and cover in case Illy wants to tear my head off.

[Illuyankas]

Why would I? You're being completely reasonable about it.

[HoosierDaddy]

THAT IS BULLSHIT!



I might be wrong, but Orlando Bloom as SUPER!Legolas felt like a complete lunge at the women demographic.

[Macros]

I didn't bother mentioning orlando faghag bloom, it goes without saying he can't act, is a douchebag and they "cooled" him up with his shield surfed and woeful cgi oliphant climbing.
Pointless douchebaggery and turning gimli into a comic character was just shameless pandering to a retarded audience.

I await Illys wrath

[Illuyankas]

I see your trickery, Macros, trying to make me defend Orlando Bloom! You won't catch me out that easily.

Now the bruising has subsided, I'm feeling a lot less aggrieved so I'll cut down on the mass ranting. For the moment. But seriously, what pissed me off in the first place was the 'it wasn't the film I wanted, it's shit' I read in your first post in the thread. I am sick and tired of that crap, it happens with every adaptation ever and frankly I've lost the ability to care about them - they'll suck to some degree, no point bitching. Just imagine if you were as much of a Hitchhiker's fan as you are a LOTR fan - you'd be crying tears of BLOOD AND RAGE.