[Coco with marshmallows]

Roldom, on 05 October 2012 - 09:03 AM, said:

I wish I didnt have to work this weekend

Boss called. You're fired, so you don't have to work.

You're also being sued for negligence.

Wish i could have selective amnesia regarding books i've read, so that I could read Malaz for the first time again whenever i felt like it.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, but for every selectively forgotten novel, you are required to relive the absolute worse book you've ever read in real time.

I wish my computer was 64-bit.

This post has been edited by Gust Hubb: 05 October 2012 - 10:01 PM

[Braven's barber]

Granted! 64 bits! 1GB RAM.



I wish Charlize Theron thought I was a smoldering heap of raw manliness.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, though she really didn't need to think that hard after the gasoline fire swept through.

I wish I had my appetite back.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

You now have the munchies.

Unfortunately it was from smoking ten tons of the sticky-icky. And you're stoned into the next millenium.

I wish I didn't lose hard copies of games.

This post has been edited by Adjutant Stormy: 06 October 2012 - 04:00 AM

[Roldom]

Adjutant Stormy, on 06 October 2012 - 03:59 AM, said:

I wish I didn't lose hard copies of games.

granted, you have hard copys of every game you ever owned, wanted to own or was ever made and now cant reach your computers to play them as there are thousands of discs and cartridges in the way

I wish I had a midget butler

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Roldom, on 06 October 2012 - 08:24 AM, said:

I wish I had a midget butler

Granted. He is pure class. Unfortunately, you are 6ft and he can't reach the top shelf. No problem, you employ a giant butler to work with the midget butler. The tall butler however, suffice to say Basil Fawlty is pleasant compared to that guy. Enjoy your tea.


I wish I didn't have to learn the hard way while doing it instead by thinking about what might go wrong prior to setting up a new method/experiment.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. You are now free of worry. Unfortunately, it also means you forget all the little contingencies and failsafes you had when you were stewing with worry. So when all of your now-forgotten fears occur all simultaneously, you can do nothing but stand there in one place and squeak occasionally.

I wish that my exams were over already.

[Abyss]

Ain, on 08 October 2012 - 02:11 PM, said:

I wish that my exams were over already.

They're over. Because you can just skip writing them and go DRINKING instead. Go on, you'll feel better.

I wish i had enough free time to write a post about my coffee with SE.

[Baco Xtath]

Abyss, on 09 October 2012 - 07:28 PM, said:

Ain, on 08 October 2012 - 02:11 PM, said:

I wish that my exams were over already.

They're over. Because you can just skip writing them and go DRINKING instead. Go on, you'll feel better.

I wish i had enough free time to write a post about my coffee with SE.

Granted. You lost your job and all your friends and loved ones are shunning you, you've now got plenty of time. However, as you reflect on your coffee chat, you come to realize that you weren't chatting it up with SE but rather it was the Yearded One and having gazed into the depths of his....gaze.....and confronted the awesomeness that is his intellect, your mind rebelled, retched, and ran leaving you with the mistaken impression that you had coffee with SE.

I wish I were a better cook.

[Abyss]

Baco Xtath, on 10 October 2012 - 03:38 PM, said:

I wish I were a better cook.

Granted. You may now boil water AND make toast without poisoning anyone.

I wish i had leftover (recent, non toxic) chinese food for lunch instead of salad.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. Unfortunately, while delicious and wholesome, the Chinese food also contains a brand new additive that turns you into one of these during periods of short-tempered rage.



I wish that I could go to my friend's super-cool Marvel vs DC birthday bash this weekend, instead of...ugh, you probably know what it is by now.

[Abyss]

Ain, on 11 October 2012 - 05:20 AM, said:

I wish that I could go to my friend's super-cool Marvel vs DC birthday bash this weekend, instead of...ugh, you probably know what it is by now.

Granted! And how was it? Was it the best party EVER? Did you drink like a hero and eat like a king and make wild crazy monkey rockstar love to three diverse women all of whom lesser men would have sacrificed limbs to get with even one of? Are you a richer and better and more famous person for the experience? No? Did you at least get a cool tattoo of She-Hulk kicking Superman in the manjunk? ...no, huh? Wow... bet you wish you didn't waste your wish on that lame ass party now, huh?


I wish 'Hurricane Sandy' had a cooler name.

[HiddenOne]

granted, Hurricane Abyss proceeds to turn the Eastern half of Canada into a sand dune with snow on it and the World News has told everybody it's your fault, now you're hiding in the neighborhood cesspit waiting for a chance to hop in a truck bound for Greenland to escape the wrath


I wish this internet radio music wasn't so terrible

[Braven's barber]

HiddenOne, on 29 October 2012 - 02:32 PM, said:

granted, Hurricane Abyss proceeds to turn the Eastern half of Canada into a sand dune with snow on it and the World News has told everybody it's your fault, now you're hiding in the neighborhood cesspit waiting for a chance to hop in a truck bound for Greenland to escape the wrath


I wish this internet radio music wasn't so terrible

Granted! Unfortunatly your idea of "good" music is Korean faux-hop, causing the entire interweb to go 24/7 gangnam style, which in turn leads to a world-wide Luddite revolution that destroys all technology more advanced than a stone hammer.


I wish I'd bought more beer before the storm ate my boozer.

[Abyss]

Braven, on 29 October 2012 - 06:52 PM, said:

I wish I'd bought more beer before the storm ate my boozer.

Granted! And now you're drunker and STILL out of booze. At least you'll have a better (bigger) hangover when you have to crawl out onto your roof to get above the floodwaters.

I wish someone could do an internet-wide find/replace to switch 'Hurrican Sandy' to 'Hurricane Drunkstorm'.

[Baco Xtath]

Abyss, on 29 October 2012 - 07:04 PM, said:

Braven, on 29 October 2012 - 06:52 PM, said:

I wish I'd bought more beer before the storm ate my boozer.

Granted! And now you're drunker and STILL out of booze. At least you'll have a better (bigger) hangover when you have to crawl out onto your roof to get above the floodwaters.

I wish someone could do an internet-wide find/replace to switch 'Hurrican Sandy' to 'Hurricane Drunkstorm'.

Granted. Everyone in Hurricane Drunkstorm's path takes to the idea leading to massive over-consumption out of fear, despair, and bravo. In their inebriated states, the citizens of the coast attempt to kite surf, body surf, and make ridiculously disproportional sand castles in the face of the 'perfect storm.' The fractured and felled society left in its path are even less able to recover and assist, leading to massive deaths on a catastrophic scale unseen since the 2004 tsunami of Indonesia. Yeah, good idea.

I wish they gave hurricanes porn-star names like Hurricane Wendy Whoppers or Hurricane Deep Debra..

[Braven's barber]

Baco Xtath, on 29 October 2012 - 07:30 PM, said:

Abyss, on 29 October 2012 - 07:04 PM, said:

Braven, on 29 October 2012 - 06:52 PM, said:

I wish I'd bought more beer before the storm ate my boozer.

Granted! And now you're drunker and STILL out of booze. At least you'll have a better (bigger) hangover when you have to crawl out onto your roof to get above the floodwaters.

I wish someone could do an internet-wide find/replace to switch 'Hurrican Sandy' to 'Hurricane Drunkstorm'.

Granted. Everyone in Hurricane Drunkstorm's path takes to the idea leading to massive over-consumption out of fear, despair, and bravo. In their inebriated states, the citizens of the coast attempt to kite surf, body surf, and make ridiculously disproportional sand castles in the face of the 'perfect storm.' The fractured and felled society left in its path are even less able to recover and assist, leading to massive deaths on a catastrophic scale unseen since the 2004 tsunami of Indonesia. Yeah, good idea.

I wish they gave hurricanes porn-star names like Hurricane Wendy Whoppers or Hurricane Deep Debra..

Granted! You have to sit next to your mother and not giggle when Al Roker says "Hurricaine Ron Jeremy's surge came deep inland dropping record ammounts of moisture"

[Braven's barber]

Oh, and I wish....ummmm.....drawing a blank here......ummmm........WORLD PEACE (gimmee a minute)




OK, I wish Air France thought I was someone important and always upgraded me to first

This post has been edited by Braven's barber: 30 October 2012 - 12:29 AM

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. They do think you are "important"-as in, an important political prisoner destined for summary execution without trial. Enjoy the complimentary champagne.

I wish we could hurry up and terraform Mars already.