[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 07 September 2012 - 05:14 AM, said:

I wish Elvis was alive. And not in a scratching at the inside of his coffin way.

Granted. Ohhhh yeah- and he loves you tender and he loves you sweet and he never lets you go darling. you are his and he is yours until the end of time.

I wish i get a ticket to see tom waits when he next tours. front row.

[Abyss]

Miss Savage, on 07 September 2012 - 11:20 AM, said:

I wish i get a ticket to see tom waits when he next tours. front row.

Granted, but he will only be playing unfinished tracks from his not yet completed wants-to-be-on-Broadway musical.

I wish floss tasted like bacon.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 07 September 2012 - 04:21 PM, said:

I wish floss tasted like bacon.

Granted. It tastes so much like bacon you bite off a long thread and chew on it for half an hour and it doesn't even lose its taste! Delicioso!!
But! Oh no! All of a sudden, that thread gets wrapped around that hitherto useless thing in the back of your throat (but now, I found good use for it) with one end dangling down your windpipe and the other end tickling your esophagus. You wretch and suffocate at the same time- no good calling emergency, they hang up on you because they think you are a gurgling perv. And then, because your body is so stressed by your impending demise you get the worst case of raging herpes and scorching syphilis on top of the accident with the floss. Curtain.

I wish this game was going all the time with no breaks.

This post has been edited by Miss Savage: 07 September 2012 - 06:57 PM

[Baco Xtath]

Granted but it gets invaded by newbies that post back and forth idiotic banter non-stop and then they find their way to every thread you ever loved or liked and then those threads likewise become infested with these interzombies that post for the sake of post count until the entire forum is utter shit.

I wish my back wasn't so sore.

[Abyss]

Baco Xtath, on 07 September 2012 - 07:06 PM, said:

I wish my back wasn't so sore.

Granted. Baco Xtath. Forumite. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the Forum's first spineless man. Baco Xtath will be that man. With less spine than he had before. Better. Faster. Provided that he's falling down.

I wish someone would make a truly epic remake of the Bionic Man tv series.

[Baco Xtath]

Granted and Joss Whedon makes it beautifully but since America has shit taste it's cancelled after one show.

I wish I could go fishing right now.

[Abyss]

Baco Xtath, on 07 September 2012 - 07:41 PM, said:

I wish I could go fishing right now.

Granted. There's a pet store down the street and a nice juicy guppy with your name all over it big guy!

I wish that someone, aside from Jason Voorhees or anyone else likely to cause me harm, would bring me a nice cold beer right now.

[Baco Xtath]

Granted. A buddy of yours brings you a beer. But that android from Prometheus put a drop of that stuff from the movie in it (yeah, it's real) and you become a ...........whatever..........something bad.

I wish I was more creative.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Baco Xtath, on 07 September 2012 - 08:35 PM, said:

I wish I was more creative.

Granted. You have the true power to create. god-like. you think of something- boom. it materialises before your eyes. you touch something- boom, it comes alive. you can breathe life into things, and so on and so forth. soon, you have followers, and before you can say boom you have your own religion. unfortunately, with this kind of great power the great responsibility is the lesser of the two evils that come with it. the great madness is far worse to deal with. some nasty things spring from your sick mind and you have a few horrible thoughts about your followers, so much so that one fine day, they decide they were better off before you appeared and they make about to set things right again. The end of the great Baco Xtath.

I wish I hadn't overcooked my vegetables.

This post has been edited by Miss Savage: 07 September 2012 - 09:12 PM

[QuickTidal]

Granted. Your vegetables are now crispy, full of life and taste like excellence. It is only after you go to take a bite that you realize the reason they are cooked perfectly is because they aren't yours, are in fact on a plate in a restaurant in front of someone else...who is currently dealing you the Malocchio (or the stink eye) as you lean over the plate and drip saliva on it. You are ejected from the restaurant back onto the streets and the maitre-di throws you a hunk of stale bread...which hits you in the head and then falls into a puddle.

I wish Season 4 of FRINGE on DVD was cheaper as I'd like to catch up.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

QuickTidal, on 08 September 2012 - 12:32 PM, said:

I wish Season 4 of FRINGE on DVD was cheaper as I'd like to catch up.

Granted. It's now affordable, you buy the whole boxset and miraculously all of a sudden you are so super busy at work and socialising and cleaning your flat and doing other things you don't have time to watch it for at least six months.


I wish I wasn't feeling so miserably hungover today.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. It's been partitioned into the rest of the week instead!

I wish my hayfever would FUCK OFF

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Ain, on 10 September 2012 - 08:53 AM, said:

I wish my hayfever would FUCK OFF

Granted! It fucks off, takes half your brain with it and makes space for...... herpes!

I wish this presentation would just make itself and present all my data in the best possible way and I could go to sleep right now not worrying about it any longer.

[Abyss]

Miss Savage, on 13 September 2012 - 08:22 PM, said:

I wish this presentation would just make itself and present all my data in the best possible way and I could go to sleep right now not worrying about it any longer.

Granted. It did all that and also changed its title to 'SKYNET', but if you just ignore those heavy footsteps coming closer, you will not have to worry about it any longer.

I wish Fringe Season 5 started this week.

[Coco with marshmallows]

Abyss, on 13 September 2012 - 08:35 PM, said:

I wish Fringe Season 5 started this week.

Granted! Sadly, the entire series has been re-tooled and re-imagined and re-booted by its new executive producers:

McG,
Paul Anderson,
Brett Ratner,
Uwe Boll.

Everything you loved about Fringe is gone, replaced with a frowning Milla Jovovich trying to look tough.

(EDITED - personal note, the above may just be the most hideously evil idea in history, and I apologise for spreading its contamination into your minds via the medium of this forum)


I wish my shoulder wasn't sore.

This post has been edited by Cocoreturns: 13 September 2012 - 09:03 PM

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. But it is now bleeding and oozing with pus. What a shame.

I wish that my play was running for more than one night.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, but I guess it's over now, sorry to take so long to get back to you with that

I wish that more people were online right now.

[rhulad]

Gust Hubb, on 01 October 2012 - 01:26 AM, said:

Granted, but I guess it's over now, sorry to take so long to get back to you with that

I wish that more people were online right now.

Granted. So many are online right now the site crashed after first giving you a severe case of genital warts.

I wish I had a pet rhinoceros.

[Coco with marshmallows]

rhulad, on 04 October 2012 - 09:46 PM, said:

I wish I had a pet rhinoceros.

Granted. Sadly its in heat (you could even say its horny - boom boom!) and while attempting to mount you, your rhino actually crushes you to death.

I wish my shoulder injury was better already.

[Roldom]

Cocoreturns, on 04 October 2012 - 10:25 PM, said:

I wish my shoulder injury was better already.

Granted, you find a physio who shows you a few quick excersizes which not only complelty fixes your shoulder, but gves you super human strength! Sadly as you shake his hand in thanks, your new shoulder muscles make you lose control and you accidently throw him through the wall, killing him instantly. After spending two years living in slums, fleeing the police and obsessing with your guilt you finally give in to your despair and jump of the golden gate bridge.

I wish I didnt have to work this weekend