[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted, but it turns out you forgot to bail out that friend of yours who's stuck in Thailand and is sentenced to be executed. What a shit friend

I wish this new passport nonsense was easier.

This post has been edited by Ain't_It_Just_: 09 May 2012 - 11:54 PM

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, but the new one world government requires at least 6 body identification tattoos and 1 tracking chip.

I wish I had a pet parrot.

[rhulad]

Granted, but it is the parrot from the Monty Python sketch.

I wish I had breakfast.

[Tapper]

rhulad, on 10 May 2012 - 02:11 PM, said:

Granted, but it is the parrot from the Monty Python sketch.

I wish I had breakfast.

You have breakfast. Lovely industrial green slime, with hard crunchy bits in it that look like cockroach carapace. It tastes even worse than it looks, maybe you ought to ask for a bacon sandwich next time...


I wish I had some lovely, juicy, just about perfectly ripe pineapple at home and didn't eat it all yesterday after dinner.

[Abyss]

Tapper, on 10 May 2012 - 02:46 PM, said:

I wish I had some lovely, juicy, just about perfectly ripe pineapple at home and didn't eat it all yesterday after dinner.

Granted. And it is the bestest pineaple ever. Absolutely awesome. So much so that you feel the need to eat it naked. In public. In order to share the joy with everyone.
Your bail hearing is Tuesday.


I wish that either hot dogs would be sold in packs of twelve, or buns would be sold in packs of ten, so as to synchronize these two high interrelated foodstuffs suffering from this curious disparity in packaging.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 10 May 2012 - 07:39 PM, said:

I wish that either hot dogs would be sold in packs of twelve, or buns would be sold in packs of ten, so as to synchronize these two high interrelated foodstuffs suffering from this curious disparity in packaging.

Granted. You (obviously don't!!!!) know, it's great to eat a hot dog with one bun and two hot dogs instead of one hot dog in one bun. Thanks to you, there's no room for creativity in home-made hot dogs anymore ever since the packagings for these highly interrelated foodstuffs have been synchronized following a granted wish by Andsoonandsoforth.


I wish it was Tuesday, 15.5., 16pm.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted, but the sun goes out then as well. We all die.

I wish that this weekend was less busy.

[Obdigore]

Ain, on 11 May 2012 - 06:13 AM, said:

I wish that this weekend was less busy.

All your plans this weekend are now ended, because everyone you planned to do anything with now hates you utterly and refuses to have anything to do with you.

I wish I had a truck so I could buy some furniture and get it home from the store without renting a truck or paying them for delivery.

[Tapper]

You have a truck. However, it does only a mile to the gallon (American design), and so you'll spend all your money on petrol instead of on furniture.

I wish I knew what utterly necessary item I'll forget when packing my suitcase.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted. You can exactly pin point which item you'll forget, and it nags you the whole time you pack for your trip, and then, as usual with perfect accuracy, your brain farts and you leave the item at home on your way out, and that just makes you feel all the more of an idiot that you still didn't pack it.

I wish I had a Bag of Holding with intrinsic organization and easy accessibility.

[Tapper]

Gust Hubb, on 11 May 2012 - 09:06 AM, said:

Granted. You can exactly pin point which item you'll forget, and it nags you the whole time you pack for your trip, and then, as usual with perfect accuracy, your brain farts and you leave the item at home on your way out, and that just makes you feel all the more of an idiot that you still didn't pack it.

I wish I had a Bag of Holding with intrinsic organization and easy accessibility.

You have a bag of holding with all that. Too bad you now need to fill in form T-5672 in triple to gain access, form R-45 green for a look at the contents, and form FG 6 for withdrawal. Unfortunately, FG 6 can only be gained through desk C-9087, which requires form XC2, which you can acquire only on february the 29th between 11 and 11.30 in the morning at department Red Tape, for which you do not have the clearance.
But enjoy your Bag of Holding, putting unlimited quantities of stuff into it is most definately a pleasure.

I wish I didn't have to get up at 3 AM tomorrow morning.

This post has been edited by Tapper: 11 May 2012 - 09:30 AM

[rhulad]

Granted, you now have to get up at 1 am tomorrow.

I wish I had a replicator like the ones in the Star Trek universe, as well as a compatible power source so that I could use it.

[Abyss]

Granted. But since the Star Trek universe is entirely ficticious, it doesn't work and your power-source is equally useless. Next time ask for a batleth or something.

I wish that lemmings were the size of elephants.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted, but they also become hyper-adrenalised to the point of throwing themselves at anything in sight. Your wish has cost many lives.

I wish I could somehow stop my eyes from watering in a cold wind and my nose from going numb.

[Obdigore]

Ain, on 14 May 2012 - 06:24 AM, said:

I wish I could somehow stop my eyes from watering in a cold wind and my nose from going numb.

Granted. Now your eyes go numb and your nose waters at all times, forever more.

I wish I was Doctor Bruce Banner and would turn into the hulk when I get Angry.

[Abyss]

Obdigore, on 14 May 2012 - 07:42 AM, said:

I wish I was Doctor Bruce Banner and would turn into the hulk when I get Angry.

Granted. the purple shorts will look lovely with the straight-jacket.

I wish workplace conflicts could be resolved with laser-tag.

[rhulad]

Granted. But the laser supply company was all out of laser tag lasers, so they gave you real ones instead. Now when you play laser tag people are burned to death.

I wish I had a new chainsaw.

[Abyss]

Granted. The gentleman behind you with the human-skin leather mask would like to borrow it.

I wish Hollywood would make an ALIENS VS JASON VORHEES movie.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 14 May 2012 - 04:40 PM, said:

I wish Hollywood would make an ALIENS VS JASON VORHEES movie.

Granted. It's outstanding, really, against all odds, and even I like it. Only you die the day before it gets released- maybe from the raging herpes and syphilis, or a hairball stuck in your throat or when crossing the road to get lunch, I don't know. But it always finds a way to get us when we least expect it, doesn't it.

I wish my contract gets extended and I get this chance of a lifetime to finish this amazing work and be awarded the Nobel prize for this important discovery (which I am about to make) etc- but I would also be happy with just an extended contract.

[Abyss]

Miss Savage, on 17 May 2012 - 01:18 PM, said:

I wish my contract gets extended and I get this chance of a lifetime to finish this amazing work and be awarded the Nobel prize for this important discovery (which I am about to make) etc- but I would also be happy with just an extended contract.

Granted. Every bit of it granted. And then you decide that you hate your job, despise the people, find the work boring and meaningless and if the Nobel people called right now you would ritualistically flaggellate yourself with their freshly removed skins.

I wish i had consumed less vodka last night.