[Baco Xtath]

Granted. It doesn't come true.

I wish I had something good to make for dinner.

[Abyss]

Baco Xtath, on 15 March 2012 - 09:00 PM, said:

I wish I had something good to make for dinner.

You do, but it's frozen, the microwave is broken, and looks like its cold ramen noodles and dry toast again for you.

I wish I could go home now.

[Baco Xtath]

Granted. But it's been relocated to northern Mongolia while you were working and you're being billed for the move.

I wish something decent would come on T.V. tonight.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

QuickTidal, on 15 March 2012 - 01:53 PM, said:

Ain, on 15 March 2012 - 12:30 PM, said:

Granted. Unfortunately, your powers are kinda dumd and don't understand the difference between walls and floors.

I wish that uni started later tomorrow.

Granted. It now starts at Noon. However, with the late start it also means that your last class isn't until 10PM. Which, coincidentally, is the same time a party starts at which three girls (all vying for your attention) decide to engage in a sapphic threesome in the hopes that you shall arrive later and fulfill their foursome fantasies. The party is populated by only the most wonderful alcohol brands, a lavish buffet of all the best foods prepared by Gordon Ramsey, Jaime Oliver, and Nigella Lawson in a cook-off, the Naked & Famous are playing a gig on a makeshift stage in the foyer, and there is a pool that is both indoors and outdoors.

Sadly, when class ends at Midnight you are too exhausted to do anything but go home and flop onto your bed.

Hope you enjoyed your sleep-in.

I wish that I had an army of non-sentient robots that I controlled with my mind and could send against my enemies.

I am never sleeping in again.

GRANTED, BUT IT CUTS OUT AFTER ONE MINUTE AND TURNS INTO A SERIES OF INFOMERICALS REGARDING GENITAL HERPES. ACCIDENTAL CAPS LOCK BUT TOO LAZY TO CHANGE.

I wish that my suit pants fitted me better.

[QuickTidal]

Ain, on 16 March 2012 - 11:49 AM, said:

I wish that my suit pants fitted me better.

Granted. Your suit pants now fit you like they were tailored by the gods. The suit gods. It took them 3 hours to make them. Sadly, while you were getting fitted for those pants, another blowout party happened like the above mentioned party. The result is that those same three girls are now upset with you for missing a second party and no longer wish for a foursome, after the three chefs attended the second party they went home to England and all future party food now tastes like ashes in your mouth, the music that you will next see perform is Justin Beiber and you have to attend it to keep the girl you DID get happy. She's a vapid idiot who could trip over a cell phone cord, and her idea of intimacy is pecking you on the cheek. The same future party is what is deemed colloquially as a sausage-fest, and the pool at said party is closed for the winter due to fouling.

Oh, and the tailor, coincidentally, ran his hand up your inseam and cupped your junk with a dirty old man leer. Enjoy your tainted pants.

I wish that it was already Friday at 4:30PM instead of the morning.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 16 March 2012 - 01:07 PM

[powerclaw]

QuickTidal, on 16 March 2012 - 01:00 PM, said:

Granted. Your suit pants now fit you like they were tailored by the gods. The suit gods. It took them 3 hours to make them. Sadly, while you were getting fitted for those pants, another blowout party happened like the above mentioned party. The result is that those same three girls are now upset with you for missing a second party and no longer wish for a foursome, after the three chefs attended the second party they went home to England and all future party food now tastes like ashes in your mouth, the music that you will next see perform is Justin Beiber and you have to attend it to keep the girl you DID get happy. She's a vapid idiot who could trip over a cell phone cord, and her idea of intimacy is pecking you on the cheek. The same future party is what is deemed colloquially as a sausage-fest, and the pool at said party is closed for the winter due to fouling.

Oh, and the tailor, coincidentally, ran his hand up your inseam and cupped your junk with a dirty old man leer. Enjoy your tainted pants.

I wish that it was already Friday at 4:30PM instead of the morning.

Granted, the time rift that opens to take you to Friday at 4:30 really could have been better used to find out winning lottery numbers or something though...

I wish I didn't have to take the bus for 3 hours to get to Waterloo tonight.

[Abyss]

powerclaw, on 16 March 2012 - 05:06 PM, said:

I wish I didn't have to take the bus for 3 hours to get to Waterloo tonight.

Granted. The bus is cancelled and you're being rerouted on the double-booked bus through Barrie. It is now a 7 hour trip to get to Waterloo tonight. Have a nice ride. Also, and because you're so late, you miss your one chance at a foursome with the three girls from QT's post below who were passing through and hoping to meet you.

I wish CAINE'S LAW was already available.

[JLV]

Abyss, on 16 March 2012 - 05:31 PM, said:

powerclaw, on 16 March 2012 - 05:06 PM, said:

I wish I didn't have to take the bus for 3 hours to get to Waterloo tonight.

Granted. The bus is cancelled and you're being rerouted on the double-booked bus through Barrie. It is now a 7 hour trip to get to Waterloo tonight. Have a nice ride. Also, and because you're so late, you miss your one chance at a foursome with the three girls from QT's post below who were passing through and hoping to meet you.

I wish CAINE'S LAW was already available.

It is, and I have the only manuscript that will ever be released. But I haven't read the other books yet, so it will be sitting on my to read pile for the greater part of 10 years. No sharing.

I wish brown rice tasted good.

[QuickTidal]

JLV, on 16 March 2012 - 05:38 PM, said:

I wish brown rice tasted good.

Granted, Brown rice now tastes like ambrosia. Each spoonful of it sends you into spasms of heavenly delight. The balance to this (every action has a reaction ect.) is that now bacon tastes like feet & hot, sick, grimy asshole mixed together. This event was recorded in the annals and the world population is aware that it was YOU JLV...who ruined bacon. Perhaps you can build a fortress wall out of that delicious brown rice? No?

I wish that my shoes were go-go gadget skates.

[Baco Xtath]

Granted. But you're hiking down the worst part of Everest.

I wish I had a go-go gadget dick.

[rhulad]

Granted, but women don't want a guy with a bionic penis.

I wish it was 5:00 pm already. That's 5:00 pm GMT-7.

[Baco Xtath]

Granted. But it's 5:00 p.m Sunday and you've got a new week await'n.

I wish I had a bionic woman to enjoy my new dick.

[JPK]

Granted. Truth is, the bionic surgery hasn't happend yet and she's a pre-op tranny. They were just planning on taking care of all of it at once.

I wish my reading appetite would pick back up.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, a sudden head trauma knocks out your satiety center in your hypothalamus, leaving you permanently hungry.

I wish banana's didn't ripen so damn fast.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Gust Hubb, on 16 March 2012 - 09:16 PM, said:

I wish banana's didn't ripen so damn fast.

Granted. You have now the unique power of ripening bananas at your will. You decide to make some money on the side and start up a helpline: 0808-I-CAN-RIPEN-YOUR-BANANAS. I do not need to further corrupt your wish.

I wish I could finish this bottle of wine tonight, even though it is not particularly good, sleep in tomorrow morning, wake up to have a fantastic bacon and banana fry-up and then spend most of the day on the sofa reading.

[Abyss]

Granted, and it is just as awesome as it sounds.
And then the shakes start. And the diarrhea. And the scorching case of syphilis. And the tax audit. And fleas.


I wish CAINE'S LAW was released and I had a readable copy in my hands in an entirely safe, peaceful and non-book destroying setting.

[Slow Ben]

Abyss, on 17 March 2012 - 02:29 AM, said:

Granted, and it is just as awesome as it sounds.
And then the shakes start. And the diarrhea. And the scorching case of syphilis. And the tax audit. And fleas.


I wish CAINE'S LAW was released and I had a readable copy in my hands in an entirely safe, peaceful and non-book destroying setting.

Congratulations!! The Community Associations Institute of New England (yes its real), just revised their by-laws. Your copy will be there tomorrow!!!


I wish I had more beer.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. Unfortunately, it requires a permit to drink, and such a permit necessitates several weeks of queueing, form filling and talking to obstructive bureaucrats. Enjoy your beer.

I wish that dad would stop quibbling about my trip to Africa and just let me go!

[Gust Hubb]

Granted. He stops quibbling and decides he'll come with you to follow you everywhere you go. Have fun you two

I wish everyone was as neat and tidy as me, horrified by litterers and people who leave their dogs' droppings behind.

[HiddenOne]

Granted, you are an inmate of the cleanest ward in Sunnyvale Mental Home. Now if you'd only stop trying to resurrect those dead rats that are your constant companions



I wish I could drink a beer