[Tapper]

powerclaw, on 15 March 2012 - 02:13 PM, said:

Granted, though you really should have specified which of the desks owned by you or used by you this delicious meal appears on. Some grade-schooler somewhere is very surprised when a plate of pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup appears on the desk you used in Grade 4 homeroom. He's also deathly allergic to pancakes...

I wish that I never got sick and neither did anyone I know.

Granted, you never got sick and you know no-one. Happy happy joy joy in your little room with padded walls and no windows for the rest of your life.

I wish I could walk out of work to enjoy the magnificent weather.

[QuickTidal]

Tapper, on 15 March 2012 - 02:16 PM, said:

I wish I could walk out of work to enjoy the magnificent weather.

Granted. The magnificent weather, it turns out, was a viewscreen on the wall and when you go outside you find out that those that run your work were preventing you from being cooked alive by the rays of the post-apocalyptic sun. Enjoy the burnt smell of your runny eyeballs.

I wish some people at my work would be less goddamned impatient!

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 15 March 2012 - 02:27 PM

[Tapper]

QuickTidal, on 15 March 2012 - 02:26 PM, said:

Tapper, on 15 March 2012 - 02:16 PM, said:

I wish I could walk out of work to enjoy the magnificent weather.

Granted. The magnificent weather, it turns out, was a viewscreen on the wall and when you go outside you find out that those that run your work were preventing you from being cooked alive by the rays of the post-apocalyptic sun. Enjoy the burnt smell of your runny eyeballs.

I wish some people at my work would be less goddamned impatient!

They are less impatient, it is just you lagging behind

I WANT BEER IN THE SUNSHINE.

[QuickTidal]

Tapper, on 15 March 2012 - 02:28 PM, said:

I WANT BEER IN THE SUNSHINE.

Granted. The beer has been weakened by the sunshine and is now rather tepid Non-Alcoholic beer that more closely resembles iced tea than anything.

I wish that I could eat KFC chicken again without it making me feel immensely ill.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 15 March 2012 - 02:32 PM

[rhulad]

Granted, now it kills you.

I wish the people next to me would stop talking.

[Abyss]

Granted. Now they're screaming. But don't worry, the axe murderer will finish with them and come for you next.

I wish i hadn't spent so many hours this past weekend watching BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER reruns.

[QuickTidal]

Abyss, on 15 March 2012 - 03:28 PM, said:

Granted. Now they're screaming. But don't worry, the axe murderer will finish with them and come for you next.

I wish i hadn't spent so many hours this past weekend watching BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER reruns.

Granted. In its place it is now apparent you were watching GHOST WHISPERER reruns instead. Your eyes are now bleeding, permanently.

I wish I had a nice big turkey club and a beer right now.

[rhulad]

Granted, The turkey club works well for clubbing turkeys. The beer is warm though.

I wish that axe murderer would hurry up.

[Baco Xtath]

Granted, an axe would be quick, but he's in police custody now so his mouthy little braid tugging sister, Erika, is coming for you instead.

I wish I hadn't eaten that entire pizza.

[Abyss]

Granted. There was a quarter-piece of pepperoni that you missed. Changes nothing but don't you feel better in your soul now?

I wish i had six more dark chocolate covered espresso beans.

[Lady Bliss]

Abyss, on 15 March 2012 - 05:53 PM, said:

Granted. There was a quarter-piece of pepperoni that you missed. Changes nothing but don't you feel better in your soul now?

I wish i had six more dark chocolate covered espresso beans.

Granted. You look in your satchel and find an additional six dark chocolate covered espresso beans, that seem to have fallen out of the candy package.
Delighted by the find you eat them, not knowing that the reason they were not in their package was because back at the candy store from which they were purchased, they had become homes to alien larvae which are quickly growing and trying to escape. You now have a belly full of rapidly growing alien monsters.

I wish I wasn't in this boring meeting.

[QuickTidal]

Lady Bliss, on 15 March 2012 - 06:13 PM, said:

I wish I wasn't in this boring meeting.

Granted. You are instead at the rally supporting Justin Beiber world domination, and they play baby baby baby over and over and over. Your ears are bleeding.


I wish The Jedi religion really existed.

[Abyss]

Granted. Because it does. At least, in peoples' heads. And frankly, that requires no further corruption.

I wish i had a plate of shrimp grilled on sugarcane.

[QuickTidal]

Abyss, on 15 March 2012 - 06:35 PM, said:

I wish i had a plate of shrimp grilled on sugarcane.

Granted. You die of sucrose-sickness within minutes of eating it. Red Lobster fends off lawsuit with tasty, tasty cheesebread.

I wish I could find, eat and enjoy the perfect cheeseburger.

[Baco Xtath]

[/quote]

Granted. You die of sucrose-sickness within minutes of eating it. Red Lobster fends off lawsuit with tasty, tasty cheesebread.

I wish I could find, eat and enjoy the perfect cheeseburger.
[/quote]

Granted. And for the rest of your life you are never satisfied by another one again.

I wish these damn ants would leave my computer alone.

[Abyss]

Granted. Your computer explodes. Problem solved.

I wish I had spent more time watching BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER reruns this past weekend.

[Baco Xtath]

Granted. Now you can't distinguish reality from the show and you run around staking strangers and are sent to a mental institution.

I wish I had a new computer.

[Abyss]

Baco Xtath, on 15 March 2012 - 07:18 PM, said:

I wish I had a new computer.

Granted. Pervert. We all hope the burns heal.

I wish my phone would stop ringing.

[Baco Xtath]

Granted. Now the lottery calls but when no one answers they move on to the next on the list. Also, after weeks of receiving no phone calls, you go into deep depression and begin holding lengthy philosophical conversations with yourself and are once again taken to the mental hospital.

I wish I had four hands.

[Abyss]

Granted. But the blood stains are suspicious and the police would like to talk to you now. Get a lawyer.

I wish i had something interesting to wish for.