[QuickTidal]

rhulad, on 14 March 2012 - 03:06 PM, said:

I wish there was a more efficient way of getting coffee in the morning.

Your coffee I.V. works perfectly and you no longer have to bother with the "drinking" part. Sadly, the rest of the world is now in slow motion, forever. And it takes FOREVER to do anything.

I wish that the woman in the office next to mine didn't relish in being loud and talking to people in other offices by yelling out of hers.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

QuickTidal, on 14 March 2012 - 03:21 PM, said:

rhulad, on 14 March 2012 - 03:06 PM, said:

I wish there was a more efficient way of getting coffee in the morning.

Your coffee I.V. works perfectly and you no longer have to bother with the "drinking" part. Sadly, the rest of the world is now in slow motion, forever. And it takes FOREVER to do anything.

I wish that the woman in the office next to mine didn't relish in being loud and talking to people in other offices by yelling out of hers.

Granted. You are now stone deaf on both ears. Loud people will not bother you again.

I wish I didn't have to go to work both days this week end.

[Abyss]

Miss Savage, on 14 March 2012 - 03:29 PM, said:

I wish I didn't have to go to work both days this week end.

Granted. You're fired. Enjoy your week-end.

I wish i could change my eye colour at will.

[rhulad]

Granted, but you can only change the colour to different shades of grey.

I wish I was done this form I've been working on for the last 3 days.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

rhulad, on 14 March 2012 - 04:12 PM, said:

Granted, but you can only change the colour to different shades of grey.

I wish I was done this form I've been working on for the last 3 days.

Granted. You realise you made a mistake though and have to do it all over again. Despite filling it in with pencil first, then writing over it in ink, waiting for the ink to dry and erase it.

I wish my experiment worked extremely well, results were kick-ass data and a Nobel Prize in 20 years time. Yeah.

[wade]

Miss Savage, on 14 March 2012 - 05:12 PM, said:

rhulad, on 14 March 2012 - 04:12 PM, said:

Granted, but you can only change the colour to different shades of grey.

I wish I was done this form I've been working on for the last 3 days.

Granted. You realise you made a mistake though and have to do it all over again. Despite filling it in with pencil first, then writing over it in ink, waiting for the ink to dry and erase it.

I wish my experiment worked extremely well, results were kick-ass data and a Nobel Prize in 20 years time. Yeah.

Granted. However, those 20 years of your life were miserable because you were kidnapped by the government deported to an obscure foreign country, and had no contact with anyone you knew. You were eventually found by the world, festering on a sidewalk in the aforementioned obscure country, and were freshened up, and taken to receive the Nobel Prize. Unfortunately, by this time, you would be utterly braindead from 20 years of poverty and malnutrition. Essentially lobotomised and unconscious, you unknowingly receive the accolade you've wanted most of your life.

I wish... My House of Chains/ Star Wars blu-ray order would ship faster.

[Abyss]

the more interesting wade-newb, on 14 March 2012 - 05:37 PM, said:

I wish... My House of Chains/ Star Wars blu-ray order would ship faster.

Granted. Your order is now on a faster ship. But it would have arrived sooner if you had just stuck with the postal service.

I wish I had Pink Floyd's The Wall playing the background right now.

[QuickTidal]

Abyss, on 14 March 2012 - 07:04 PM, said:

I wish I had Pink Floyd's The Wall playing the background right now.

Granted. However, this notion was accompanied by you being set down into the B&W, 1939 Land Of Oz as well...where you were raped by a winged-monkey guard wielding the tin man's cap, repeatedly.

I wish the weather in Canada would choose to be either Spring or Winter...and not fucking both.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 14 March 2012 - 07:16 PM

[rhulad]

Granted, Canada is now only fucking spring. So it is winter outside.

I wish my dryer hadn't stopped working.

[Abyss]

Granted. Instead it became sentient and went on a killing spree. Now you have to cyberize your washer and download your consciousness into it and send it out to engage in wild epic yet curiously boring appliance vs appliance combat until your dryer is stopped once and for all. And then live out your days gargling underwear.

I wish i owned a legion of flying monkees. Non-raping flying monkees, to be clear.

[rhulad]

Granted, but none of the flying monkeys could figure out windows, and like birds continuously fly threw your living room window. Also they throw their poop at you when you aren't watching.

I wish I had an army of killer rabbits.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

rhulad, on 14 March 2012 - 08:19 PM, said:

I wish I had an army of killer rabbits.

Granted. You watch, with big round tears rolling down your face, how your killer rabbits, which you have acquired only recently from different breeders, are killing each other in the most cruel, bloody, vicious animal fights mankind has witnessed. It breaks your heart to see such senseless, meaningless violence and hatred, and you decide to become an advocate for world peace. The first act in your new life is a bumper sticker: Killer rabbits, make love, not war. (Which is what every decent rabbit does, anyways).

I wish I had a big bloody steak for dinner. With garlic and herb butter and some fresh warm bread. And a pint of some great ale.

[Abyss]

Miss Savage, on 14 March 2012 - 09:45 PM, said:

I wish I had a big bloody steak for dinner. With garlic and herb butter and some fresh warm bread. And a pint of some great ale.

Granted. Massive 24oz New York sirloin, so rare it's practically moo'ing, with all the trimmings plus a bowl of virgin hand churned artisinal garlic/herb butter and possibly the freshest warmest loaf of bread in the history of bread. And right there next to it all, yes RIGHT there, a tapped keg of prize winning microbrew ale so good it could acheive world peace if we could just strap all the politicians down and force them to drink it. And it's ALL YOURS. You can have it. RIGHT NOW. There's an official document of ownership signed by six lawyers a notary and the Pope all confirming that this is yours and yours alone. Now get in there and enjoy the hell out of that feast! We even have a masseuse standing by to rub your scalp and shoulders while you eat.

No, i'm not going to tell you where it is... why do you ask?


I wish i wasn't such a sadistic bastard.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 14 March 2012 - 10:16 PM, said:

I wish i wasn't such a sadistic bastard.

Granted. You are no longer fun to converse with, no more delectably corrupted wishes and overall, everything you contribute fills anybody who reads it with great boredom. "Oh no, not Abyss AGAIN."

I wish I had modgod powers to equal Abyss' but in REAL life. It would make a lot of things a lot easier.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted. However, in addition to having remarkable powers, you also have to attend to everyone's complaints (of which there are many with billions of people relying on you) and weed out the troublemakers in the system. Now if only you had more time, energy, and multitasking skills....

I wish I could walk through walls.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. Unfortunately, your powers are kinda dumd and don't understand the difference between walls and floors.

I wish that uni started later tomorrow.

[Abyss]

Ain, on 15 March 2012 - 12:30 PM, said:

I wish that uni started later tomorrow.

Granted. Your prof just called and he's going to start the class 3 minutes later than planned.

I wish i had some awesome bacon right here, right now, hot, crispy and ready to eat.

[QuickTidal]

Ain, on 15 March 2012 - 12:30 PM, said:

Granted. Unfortunately, your powers are kinda dumd and don't understand the difference between walls and floors.

I wish that uni started later tomorrow.

Granted. It now starts at Noon. However, with the late start it also means that your last class isn't until 10PM. Which, coincidentally, is the same time a party starts at which three girls (all vying for your attention) decide to engage in a sapphic threesome in the hopes that you shall arrive later and fulfill their foursome fantasies. The party is populated by only the most wonderful alcohol brands, a lavish buffet of all the best foods prepared by Gordon Ramsey, Jaime Oliver, and Nigella Lawson in a cook-off, the Naked & Famous are playing a gig on a makeshift stage in the foyer, and there is a pool that is both indoors and outdoors.

Sadly, when class ends at Midnight you are too exhausted to do anything but go home and flop onto your bed.

Hope you enjoyed your sleep-in.

I wish that I had an army of non-sentient robots that I controlled with my mind and could send against my enemies.

[rhulad]

Abyss, on 15 March 2012 - 01:46 PM, said:

Ain, on 15 March 2012 - 12:30 PM, said:

I wish that uni started later tomorrow.

Granted. Your prof just called and he's going to start the class 3 minutes later than planned.

I wish i had some awesome bacon right here, right now, hot, crispy and ready to eat.

Granted, the bacon is made from tofu.

QuickTidal, on 15 March 2012 - 01:53 PM, said:

Ain, on 15 March 2012 - 12:30 PM, said:

Granted. Unfortunately, your powers are kinda dumd and don't understand the difference between walls and floors.

I wish that uni started later tomorrow.

Granted. It now starts at Noon. However, with the late start it also means that your last class isn't until 10PM. Which, coincidentally, is the same time a party starts at which three girls (all vying for your attention) decide to engage in a sapphic threesome in the hopes that you shall arrive later and fulfill their foursome fantasies. The party is populated by only the most wonderful alcohol brands, a lavish buffet of all the best foods prepared by Gordon Ramsey, Jaime Oliver, and Nigella Lawson in a cook-off, the Naked & Famous are playing a gig on a makeshift stage in the foyer, and there is a pool that is both indoors and outdoors.

Sadly, when class ends at Midnight you are too exhausted to do anything but go home and flop onto your bed.

Hope you enjoyed your sleep-in.

I wish that I had an army of non-sentient robots that I controlled with my mind and could send against my enemies.

Granted, unfortunately the strain that controlling the robots puts on your mind puts you in a coma from which you will never recover.

I wish I had a plate full of pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup on my desk.

[powerclaw]

Granted, though you really should have specified which of the desks owned by you or used by you this delicious meal appears on. Some grade-schooler somewhere is very surprised when a plate of pancakes and a bottle of maple syrup appears on the desk you used in Grade 4 homeroom. He's also deathly allergic to pancakes...

I wish that I never got sick and neither did anyone I know.