[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Stalking Stonny, on 15 February 2013 - 09:10 PM, said:

Abyss, on 15 February 2013 - 08:44 PM, said:

Granted. But the runner beans pull a runner, the sauerkraut is too sour, 'schwartenwurst and gammon' aren't really words, and nobody really eats boiled potatoes. Which leaves you with the bacon, except that the runner beans grabbed that on their way out. Now you're just hungry and out a wish. Hope your mama's feeling generous.

I wish i knew what 'schwartenwurst and gammon' were supposed to be.

Granted. Bavaria's worst and least healthy comedy team died in a tragic Zeppelin and krautrock accident that is heretofore honored in a series of commemorative plates released in a 2001 limited printing by the Franklin Mint.

I wish I bought those plates.

This is what I'm on about. Only when my mum works her magic it's ten times better. And it's Swiss by the way, not Bavarian. I beg to differ.
 Berner Platte.jpg (155.93K)
Number of downloads: 0

Schwartenwurst is the greasy pork sausage and gammon - well really I meant ham. Other types of meat such as cured beef tongue can be added too.
Oh, and on this pic the sauerkraut is missing.



Granted. But you bought these plates already, mate, did you forget? Waste of a wish if you aks me.

This post has been edited by Miss Savage: 15 February 2013 - 09:49 PM

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Miss Savage, on 15 February 2013 - 09:41 PM, said:

This is what I'm on about. Only when my mum works her magic it's ten times better. And it's Swiss by the way, not Bavarian. I beg to differ.
Berner Platte.jpg

Oh my God. Drooooooooooooool.

I wish Miss Savage had wished for something so I could corrupt it.

[Studlock]

Granted! She wished for ever lasting life which we all know is a sucker games, she watches all her loved ones die, over and over till the point her biological brain can't remember anything because her head simply has to much information leading not to death by a sad existence of growing forever old yet not dying till the point she is literally just skin and bones and her entire existence is mindless pain. I hope you're happy.

I wish I could fly.

This post has been edited by Studlock: 16 February 2013 - 08:42 AM

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Studlock, on 16 February 2013 - 08:18 AM, said:

Granted! She wished for ever lasting life which we all know is a sucker games, she watches all her loved ones die, over and over till the point her biological brain can't remember anything because her head simply has to much information leading not to death by a sad existence of growing forever old yet not dying till the point she is literally just skin and bones and her entire existence is mindless pain. I hope you're happy.

I wish I could fly.

Shockhorror! I forgot to post a wish.

Granted. You fly, and fly, and fly, like an albatross. Sadly, you forgot to include in your wish the clause about landing, so now, you are flying until the moment you drop dead out of the sky.

I wish I was infallible.

[Spoilsport Stonny]

Miss Savage, on 16 February 2013 - 10:08 AM, said:

I wish I was infallible.

Granted. Your post lacking a wish was understood by all to be a thinly veiled attempt at inserting your pro-sausage propaganda on an unsuspecting, but desperately hungry group of irreverent book nerds.

I wish my boss would go fornicate himself with an iron rod.

[Abyss]

Stalking Stonny, on 16 February 2013 - 01:52 PM, said:

I wish my boss would go fornicate himself with an iron rod.

Granted. He then emails you the .vid file.

I wish i wasn't about to bugger off on vacation and ignore the internet for 2 weeks. Oh, wait, no i don't...

[Spoilsport Stonny]

Quote

I wish i wasn't about to bugger off on vacation and ignore the internet for 2 weeks. Oh, wait, no i don't...

Granted anyway. You now have 4 weeks of vacation. And double the funds. But you blew it all on malasian transvestites and bad opium. And you haven't even left for vacation yet.

Shit I didnt noticed I edited out my wish.

I wish I wasn't so full of anxiety and paid attention to my shit more.

This post has been edited by Stalking Stonny: 18 February 2013 - 05:17 PM

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted! You now smell of garlic. FOREVER.

I wish this dude would just lay off me about signing these fucking confidentiality release forms.

[Assail]

Granted!

Now that you don't have to sign all of those confidentiality papers, you now have to tell anyone you come into contact with every dark twisted foul little secret you possess while standing uncomfortably close looking them right in the eye.

I wish my enlistment was already over and that I could go grow a beard.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Assail, on 21 February 2013 - 10:26 AM, said:

Granted!

Now that you don't have to sign all of those confidentiality papers, you now have to tell anyone you come into contact with every dark twisted foul little secret you possess while standing uncomfortably close looking them right in the eye.

I wish my enlistment was already over and that I could go grow a beard.

Granted. Your back home, safe and sound, and your beard is growing exuberantly, one might even say it pullulates. Such a fine beard in fact I can't corrupt that damned wish because I love beards. Damn you Assail. No, really, damn you. I have to resort to my extra special corrosive wish corrupting agent. Sorted.

I wish I could grow a beard.

[Spoilsport Stonny]

Granted. However with great beard comes great responsibility and you've refused to clean the crumbs out of it for weeks. Insects and pests have established strongholds and refused to negotiate with outsiders. Eventually, they learn to read and write and universities and libraries are created to educate their young and house their knowledge. Millenia pass and the pests reach a higher state of consciousness, communicating with electrical impulses across the space-time continuum, thus cementing their cosmic ubiquity, eliminating suffering and altering reality to the point of mass collective hive mind social structure, not unlike that which is shared of past Real World cast members and Phish fans who've OD'd on nitrous oxide and goo balls.

I wish I got to see that Flyers game last night.

[Assail]

Granted! While watching this game you witness Claude Giroux not only turn into a blubbering, feminine little bitch, but he is smashed and crippled for life, never to play in NHL again, thus condemning the Flyers to never being remotely decent past this point.

I wish that I had a real dog, and not some bullshit shih tzu.

I also feel beyond honored knowing I was not bested at this game atleast once. I owe it all to you and our ferocious love of facial hair Savage

[Spoilsport Stonny]

Assail, on 21 February 2013 - 04:23 PM, said:

Granted! While watching this game you witness Claude Giroux not only turn into a blubbering, feminine little bitch, but he is smashed and crippled for life, never to play in NHL again, thus condemning the Flyers to never being remotely decent past this point.

I wish that I had a real dog, and not some bullshit shih tzu.

I also feel beyond honored knowing I was not bested at this game atleast once. I owe it all to you and our ferocious love of facial hair Savage

Granted but the dog is allergic to peanut butter and sneezes all over your rectum, which due to anal fissures is now infected by the bacteria laden saliva and spew.

I wish for for absolute proof of the Rare Earth theory.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Stalking Stonny, on 21 February 2013 - 05:45 PM, said:

I wish for for absolute proof of the Rare Earth theory.

Granted. But alas, we have yet to find out that previous to the publication of the single absolute proof of the Rare Earth theory a virulent disease, some said godsent, had swept over mankind and left creationists alone alive. They re-define maths as we know today, and lo and behold, with a lot of faith can deliver the absolute proof of the Rare Earth theory.

I wish I had a delicious rare steak with fresh bread, slightly salted butter with herbs and a pint of the finest ale for dinner.

[Assail]

Miss Savage, on 22 February 2013 - 08:48 PM, said:

Stalking Stonny, on 21 February 2013 - 05:45 PM, said:

I wish for for absolute proof of the Rare Earth theory.

Granted. But alas, we have yet to find out that previous to the publication of the single absolute proof of the Rare Earth theory a virulent disease, some said godsent, had swept over mankind and left creationists alone alive. They re-define maths as we know today, and lo and behold, with a lot of faith can deliver the absolute proof of the Rare Earth theory.

I wish I had a delicious rare steak with fresh bread, slightly salted butter with herbs and a pint of the finest ale for dinner.

Granted. However, you must not only endure dinner with the person you most despise in life, but entertain them for the entirety of the evening after said dinner.

I wish the rehabilitation on my shoulder would go more quickly.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. You get a prosthetic arm. It is awesome and life is infinitely more awesome because of it. However, I am consumed with jealous rage and hack it off one night. Soz, lawl.

I wish I had a prosthetic arm that I could punch stuff with.

[Grimjust Bearegular]

Granted, you get a prosthetic arm to punch stuff with, but it's possessed and punches only you. In the balls. ALL THE TIME.



I wish I could get my book published.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Bearmione TROUBLEMAKER Grimger, on 26 February 2013 - 11:18 AM, said:

I wish I could get my book published.

Granted. You go from door to door with your book, until you find a publisher that normally only deals with obscure esoteric stuff but decides to give your book a chance. It goes vastly unnoticed, never makes it to a hardback and your grandpa buys the only copy because he feels sorry for you.


I wish it was already 5pm Friday evening and my boyfriend had arrived and we spend the best ever weekend.

[Assail]

Miss Savage, on 28 February 2013 - 07:27 PM, said:

Bearmione TROUBLEMAKER Grimger, on 26 February 2013 - 11:18 AM, said:

I wish I could get my book published.

Granted. You go from door to door with your book, until you find a publisher that normally only deals with obscure esoteric stuff but decides to give your book a chance. It goes vastly unnoticed, never makes it to a hardback and your grandpa buys the only copy because he feels sorry for you.


I wish it was already 5pm Friday evening and my boyfriend had arrived and we spend the best ever weekend.

I no shit was thinking the same thing. Although mine was more or less, "You find one, but they publish a very small amount of books and no one knows about it anyway." Great minds!

[Gust Hubb]

Miss Savage, on 28 February 2013 - 07:27 PM, said:

Bearmione TROUBLEMAKER Grimger, on 26 February 2013 - 11:18 AM, said:

I wish I could get my book published.

Granted. You go from door to door with your book, until you find a publisher that normally only deals with obscure esoteric stuff but decides to give your book a chance. It goes vastly unnoticed, never makes it to a hardback and your grandpa buys the only copy because he feels sorry for you.


I wish it was already 5pm Friday evening and my boyfriend had arrived and we spend the best ever weekend.

Unfortunately, you did not specify which Friday or which weekend, so now it is your 90th b-day, and this is definitely the best ever weekend, which makes up all the crumby fridays and weekends that came before. Sadly you only have those memories and are suddenly dreadfully old as well. On the plus side, you are retired.

I wish everyone else's car would break down so I could find parking around campus in the mornings.