[Abyss]

Ain, on 30 October 2012 - 11:27 AM, said:

I wish we could hurry up and terraform Mars already.

Granted. Like ten years ago. we just didn't tell you about it because we didn't want to share the awesomeness, beer rivers and free love.

I wish humanity spent as much time and resources on space exploration as we do on social media.

[Tapper]

We do now. Space travel is being interrupted by commercials every five minutes.


I wish I hadn't poured tea in a coffee can.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. You poured it, scalding hot, down the throat of a small child.

I wish that my phone was not such a feckless layabout and would work properly.

[Gust Hubb]

Granted, your phone is now a fine tuned transformer that does everything you need and makes sure you do everything it thinks you need (daily colonoscopies for one).

I wish that there was a direct mass transit route to work.

[HiddenOne]

granted, your entire neighborhood get blasted out of a giant belt-fed cannon that perfectly aims toward your workplace. Too bad they haven't developed a way to stop and live


I wish that I could go to a killer rock show this weekend

This post has been edited by HiddenOne: 31 October 2012 - 02:41 PM

[Baco Xtath]

HiddenOne, on 31 October 2012 - 02:41 PM, said:

granted, your entire neighborhood get blasted out of a giant belt-fed cannon that perfectly aims toward your workplace. Too bad they haven't developed a way to stop and live


I wish that I could go to a killer rock show this weekend

Granted. Your neighborhood is throwing a block party and Nickelback will be playing nonstop all weekend.

I wish my daughter would share her Halloween candy with me.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Baco Xtath, on 31 October 2012 - 04:00 PM, said:

I wish my daughter would share her Halloween candy with me.

Granted. Your lovely daughter tastes every single candy by taking a bite and those she doesn't like she happily shares with you.

I wish I could take a week off -without getting fired or dying or anything- and then go back to work, recharged, super-motivated and uber-efficient and get everything done I need to do before xmas.

[Abyss]

Miss Savage, on 31 October 2012 - 06:37 PM, said:

I wish I could take a week off -without getting fired or dying or anything- and then go back to work, recharged, super-motivated and uber-efficient and get everything done I need to do before xmas.

Granted. Your boss surprises you with a week's paid vacation, in fact, TWO week's paid vacation. You get out there and enjoy your time off. By the time you return, you will be double EXTRA super motichargedfficient and get everything you need to do a MONTH before Christmas. ok, wake up now, your life still sucks and you have to go to work in the morning.


I wish someone had made a Dwyane Johnson joke in response to the 'killer rock' wish upthread.

[rhulad]

Granted, they did in fact make said joke, and it was hilarious. But a mod deleted it before anyone else could see it.

I wish this form I'm working on would act like it's supposed to.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

rhulad, on 31 October 2012 - 09:23 PM, said:

I wish this form I'm working on would act like it's supposed to.

Granted. It acts perfectly like it's supposed to for a couple of minutes, before your PC starts misbehaving. Badly. Then all of a sudden all lighting in the building goes weird. The aircon unpredictably changes between hot and cold. Power goes on and off at its discretion. This erratic behaviour of modern electrical and electronic devices drives everybody around you mad with unspeakable consequences. The only normal thing in your workplace is the form your working on. I hope it keeps you sane.


I wish I could make sense of what's going on around me.

[Abyss]

Miss Savage, on 27 November 2012 - 06:01 PM, said:

I wish I could make sense of what's going on around me.

Granted. What's going on around you amounts to the irrelevant pursuit of significance and meaning by individuals who are in denial as to their insignificant and meaningless existance in the greater scope of the universe. Now you know and it all makes perfect sense. Don't you feel SO much better?

I wish this coffee was better.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 27 November 2012 - 06:08 PM, said:

I wish this coffee was better.

Granted. Best cup of coffee ever. Only that goddamn cup has a hole and the best coffee ever is dripping on your sandals. Edit: Faster than you can drink it.

I wish I had steak for dinner.

This post has been edited by Miss Savage: 27 November 2012 - 06:21 PM

[rhulad]

Granted, the steak is from a shark. He wants it back.

I wish I had some really good scotch in my desk drawer.

[Abyss]

rhulad, on 27 November 2012 - 06:41 PM, said:

I wish I had some really good scotch in my desk drawer.

Granted. But the drawer is locked, the key is gone, and it will be a week before a new one can be acquired.

I wish i really was wearing the sandals from my upthread corrupted wish, coffee and all, as opposed to waterproof, heavily insulated, winter boots... for seasonal reasons and not for the purpose of getting frostbite.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Abyss, on 27 November 2012 - 06:48 PM, said:

I wish i really was wearing the sandals from my upthread corrupted wish, coffee and all, as opposed to waterproof, heavily insulated, winter boots... for seasonal reasons and not for the purpose of getting frostbite.

Granted. It's now the burning hot season for sandals, but you don't have any cos they all sold out over night. Here's instructions on how to make your own: http://www.wikihow.c...from-a-Yoga-Mat (I'll buy a pair off you).

I wish I had £500K and a year off to enjoy living in London- such as to be member of all kinds of institutions, go to concerts, exhibitions, museums, Kew Gardens, to check out all the new great coffee shops and get the fancy treatments and so on and so forth.

[Braven's barber]

I wish I had £500K and a year off to enjoy living in London- such as to be member of all kinds of institutions, go to concerts, exhibitions, museums, Kew Gardens, to check out all the new great coffee shops and get the fancy treatments and so on and so forth.
[/quote]


Granted, but money has turned you into a Montey Python caricature of a Tory wonk and the congestion charge on your new Range Rover Land Pig has you back to broke in no time. Where's that damned Oyster card?




I wish I had Chris Brown's sublety and charm

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. But unfortunately Chris Brown has now lost it and wants it back. He will never stop hunting you. He will never stop coming. EVER.

I wish that I could put on more weight.

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Ain, on 11 February 2013 - 12:58 AM, said:

I wish that I could put on more weight.

Granted. I donate my spare weight. It was raised organically and is packed with all kinds of goodies. No GM, no preservatives, and no trans fats!

I wish I wasn't so tired and lethargic- even with coffee.

[Abyss]

Miss Savage, on 11 February 2013 - 09:56 AM, said:

I wish I wasn't so tired and lethargic- even with coffee.

Granted. Zombies feel nothing. Even with coffee.


I wish i was feeling less conflict averse this morning.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Granted. Instead, you are the paragon of doormattery. Everybody runs over you.

I wish that my farts smelled like cinnamon.