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Battle of the sexes!
Men outnumber women a million to one...
And the forum men to, when all is said and done
What is it I hate about the fairer race
Apart from the fact they vanish without a trace
Can't live with them and can't live without them
All I want is to lie beside them
I want to jump on their bones with a will
Pumping and pumping, my seed must spill
He said battle..not sexing the sexes!
But when the drink was in he was Texting his Exs
Never a smart move and leads to much pain
And to make-up sex, now and again
Hoorah for the lucky ones! I got gyp.
depression send me to the bar, on the rip
Where I met a nice hooker called Trixie
How drunk was I? shes damned near sixty!
She taught me so much, I'll never forget!
Some may laugh, but I've no regrets
I'd say it was the best two dollars spent
she said she needed to pay her rent
Ha! They say the best things in life are free!
Thats a lie, now it stings when I pee
Pay more than two bucks is the moral told
Or you'll regret entering the fold
So we're stronger and smarter and dumber
Pitching tents in mid slumber
Get thee to the kitchen, I'll have tea
Not too much, lest I have to pee
Less of a battle and more of a scrap
Though girls seem less proud of a crap
Men consider excretion a holy tradition
reading the paper and meditation
Epic Poetry - Lets get creative First Homer, Then Virgil, Followed by Milton and now...Malazanempire
#281
frookenhauer 
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Posted 21 February 2009 - 07:45 PM
souls are for wimps
#282
Macros
- D'ivers Fuckwits
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- Posts: 9,155
- Joined: 28-January 08
- Location:Ulster, disputed zone, British Empire.
Posted 21 February 2009 - 07:51 PM
Battle of the sexes!
Men outnumber women a million to one...
And the forum men to, when all is said and done
What is it I hate about the fairer race
Apart from the fact they vanish without a trace
Can't live with them and can't live without them
All I want is to lie beside them
I want to jump on their bones with a will
Pumping and pumping, my seed must spill
He said battle..not sexing the sexes!
But when the drink was in he was Texting his Exs
Never a smart move and leads to much pain
And to make-up sex, now and again
Hoorah for the lucky ones! I got gyp.
depression send me to the bar, on the rip
Where I met a nice hooker called Trixie
How drunk was I? shes damned near sixty!
She taught me so much, I'll never forget!
Some may laugh, but I've no regrets
I'd say it was the best two dollars spent
she said she needed to pay her rent
Ha! They say the best things in life are free!
Thats a lie, now it stings when I pee
Pay more than two bucks is the moral told
Or you'll regret entering the fold
So we're stronger and smarter and dumber
Pitching tents in mid slumber
Get thee to the kitchen, I'll have tea
Not too much, lest I have to pee
Less of a battle and more of a scrap
Though girls seem less proud of a crap
Men consider excretion a holy tradition
Women think its the road to perdition
Men outnumber women a million to one...
And the forum men to, when all is said and done
What is it I hate about the fairer race
Apart from the fact they vanish without a trace
Can't live with them and can't live without them
All I want is to lie beside them
I want to jump on their bones with a will
Pumping and pumping, my seed must spill
He said battle..not sexing the sexes!
But when the drink was in he was Texting his Exs
Never a smart move and leads to much pain
And to make-up sex, now and again
Hoorah for the lucky ones! I got gyp.
depression send me to the bar, on the rip
Where I met a nice hooker called Trixie
How drunk was I? shes damned near sixty!
She taught me so much, I'll never forget!
Some may laugh, but I've no regrets
I'd say it was the best two dollars spent
she said she needed to pay her rent
Ha! They say the best things in life are free!
Thats a lie, now it stings when I pee
Pay more than two bucks is the moral told
Or you'll regret entering the fold
So we're stronger and smarter and dumber
Pitching tents in mid slumber
Get thee to the kitchen, I'll have tea
Not too much, lest I have to pee
Less of a battle and more of a scrap
Though girls seem less proud of a crap
Men consider excretion a holy tradition
Women think its the road to perdition
2012
"Imperial Gothos, Imperial"
"Imperial Gothos, Imperial"
#283
Ain't_It_Just_
- The Recidivist
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- Group: LHTEC
- Posts: 2,371
- Joined: 17-January 08
- Location:Oz
- Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
- The AIJman cometh
Posted 22 February 2009 - 09:50 AM
A New Poem At Last
The previous one was too long, time to begin again
The previous one was too long, time to begin again
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
#284
frookenhauer
- Mortal Sword
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- Posts: 1,113
- Joined: 11-July 08
- Location:England
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Interests:Women
Money
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Writing
Posted 22 February 2009 - 12:37 PM
A New Poem At Last
The previous one was too long, time to begin again
Its making me insane in the membrane
The previous one was too long, time to begin again
Its making me insane in the membrane
This post has been edited by Frookenhauer : 22 February 2009 - 12:37 PM
souls are for wimps
#285
Slow Ben
- Ranger
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- Group: Malaz Regular
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- Location:Southern Illinois
Posted 22 February 2009 - 08:15 PM
A New Poem At Last
The previous one was too long, time to begin again
Its making me insane in the membrane
It will be the finest work to date
The previous one was too long, time to begin again
Its making me insane in the membrane
It will be the finest work to date
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
#286
frookenhauer
- Mortal Sword
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 1,113
- Joined: 11-July 08
- Location:England
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Interests:Women
Money
AI
Writing
Posted 22 February 2009 - 10:53 PM
A New Poem At Last
The previous one was too long, time to begin again
Its making me insane in the membrane
It will be the finest work to date
But possibly not to everyones taste
The previous one was too long, time to begin again
Its making me insane in the membrane
It will be the finest work to date
But possibly not to everyones taste
souls are for wimps
#287
frookenhauer
- Mortal Sword
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 1,113
- Joined: 11-July 08
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Interests:Women
Money
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Writing
Posted 26 February 2009 - 07:28 PM
Welll...That went well! 
An ode to Religion
God and I sitting in a tree K-I...
An ode to Religion
God and I sitting in a tree K-I...
souls are for wimps
#288
masan's saddle
- Emperor
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- Group: Malaz Regular
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- Joined: 17-February 09
- Location:masan's horse
Posted 26 February 2009 - 07:45 PM
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G,
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G,
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Now all the friends that you knew in school they used to be so cool, now they just bore you.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
#289
frookenhauer
- Mortal Sword
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 1,113
- Joined: 11-July 08
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Interests:Women
Money
AI
Writing
Posted 26 February 2009 - 07:51 PM
An Ode To Religion
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G,
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
made me take another look at THAT book.
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G,
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
made me take another look at THAT book.
souls are for wimps
#290
masan's saddle
- Emperor
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 979
- Joined: 17-February 09
- Location:masan's horse
Posted 26 February 2009 - 08:23 PM
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G ,
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
" Wot the fuck !" says "Plat" to the big man,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G ,
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
" Wot the fuck !" says "Plat" to the big man,
Now all the friends that you knew in school they used to be so cool, now they just bore you.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
#291
frookenhauer
- Mortal Sword
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 1,113
- Joined: 11-July 08
- Location:England
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Interests:Women
Money
AI
Writing
Posted 26 February 2009 - 10:33 PM
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G ,
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
" Wot the fuck !" says "Plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion
K.I.S.S.I.N.G ,
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
" Wot the fuck !" says "Plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion
souls are for wimps
#292
masan's saddle
- Emperor
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 979
- Joined: 17-February 09
- Location:masan's horse
Posted 26 February 2009 - 11:12 PM
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
"Wot the fuck !" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry, I was stoned " says our whimsical God,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
"Wot the fuck !" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry, I was stoned " says our whimsical God,
Now all the friends that you knew in school they used to be so cool, now they just bore you.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
#293
frookenhauer
- Mortal Sword
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 1,113
- Joined: 11-July 08
- Location:England
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Interests:Women
Money
AI
Writing
Posted 26 February 2009 - 11:43 PM
An ode to Religion Stop deleting the tiltle!
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
"Wot the fuck !" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusian,
" I'm sorry, I was stoned " says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...Silly old sod!
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
"Wot the fuck !" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusian,
" I'm sorry, I was stoned " says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...Silly old sod!
souls are for wimps
#294
masan's saddle
- Emperor
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 979
- Joined: 17-February 09
- Location:masan's horse
Posted 26 February 2009 - 11:57 PM
Ode to Religeon (soz 
)
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
" Wot the fuck !" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusian,
" I'm sorry, I was stoned " says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he Fuck !" Vishnu, unsheathes his blade !
)God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
" Wot the fuck !" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusian,
" I'm sorry, I was stoned " says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he Fuck !" Vishnu, unsheathes his blade !
Now all the friends that you knew in school they used to be so cool, now they just bore you.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
#295
Slow Ben
- Ranger
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 4,791
- Joined: 29-September 08
- Location:Southern Illinois
Posted 27 February 2009 - 12:19 AM
Ode to Religeon (soz )
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
" Wot the fuck !" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusian,
" I'm sorry, I was stoned " says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he Fuck !" Vishnu, unsheathes his blade !
I say now!...Its time for a midnight raid.
)God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G.
Along came a platypus with a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book.
" Wot the fuck !" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusian,
" I'm sorry, I was stoned " says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he Fuck !" Vishnu, unsheathes his blade !
I say now!...Its time for a midnight raid.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
#296
masan's saddle
- Emperor
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- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 979
- Joined: 17-February 09
- Location:masan's horse
Posted 27 February 2009 - 01:07 AM
An Ode to Relgion
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
Along came a platypus wth a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book,
" Wot the fuck!" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry,I was stoned" says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he fuck !" Vishnu !, unsheathes his blade,
I say now!...It's time for a midnight raid.
" To the fridge Judaeo-Christian, I fancy a snack."
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
Along came a platypus wth a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book,
" Wot the fuck!" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry,I was stoned" says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he fuck !" Vishnu !, unsheathes his blade,
I say now!...It's time for a midnight raid.
" To the fridge Judaeo-Christian, I fancy a snack."
Now all the friends that you knew in school they used to be so cool, now they just bore you.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
#297
Ain't_It_Just_
- The Recidivist
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- Group: LHTEC
- Posts: 2,371
- Joined: 17-January 08
- Location:Oz
- Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
- The AIJman cometh
Posted 27 February 2009 - 06:35 AM
An Ode to Relgion
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
Along came a platypus wth a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book,
" Wot the fuck!" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry,I was stoned" says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he fuck !" Vishnu !, unsheathes his blade,
I say now!...It's time for a midnight raid.
" To the fridge Judaeo-Christian, I fancy a snack."
"I have appetite, which you clearly lack."
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
Along came a platypus wth a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book,
" Wot the fuck!" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry,I was stoned" says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he fuck !" Vishnu !, unsheathes his blade,
I say now!...It's time for a midnight raid.
" To the fridge Judaeo-Christian, I fancy a snack."
"I have appetite, which you clearly lack."
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
#298
frookenhauer
- Mortal Sword
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 1,113
- Joined: 11-July 08
- Location:England
-
Interests:Women
Money
AI
Writing
Posted 27 February 2009 - 04:37 PM
An Ode to Relgion
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
Along came a platypus wth a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book,
" Wot the fuck!" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry,I was stoned" says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he fuck !" Vishnu !, unsheathes his blade,
I say now!...It's time for a midnight raid.
" To the fridge Judaeo-Christian, I fancy a snack."
"I have appetite, which you clearly lack."
"I hef just killt mein Godt!" chortles Nietzsche.
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
Along came a platypus wth a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book,
" Wot the fuck!" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry,I was stoned" says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he fuck !" Vishnu !, unsheathes his blade,
I say now!...It's time for a midnight raid.
" To the fridge Judaeo-Christian, I fancy a snack."
"I have appetite, which you clearly lack."
"I hef just killt mein Godt!" chortles Nietzsche.
souls are for wimps
#299
Ain't_It_Just_
- The Recidivist
-
- Group: LHTEC
- Posts: 2,371
- Joined: 17-January 08
- Location:Oz
- Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
- The AIJman cometh
Posted 28 February 2009 - 06:13 AM
An Ode to Relgion
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
Along came a platypus wth a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book,
" Wot the fuck!" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry,I was stoned" says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he fuck !" Vishnu !, unsheathes his blade,
I say now!...It's time for a midnight raid.
" To the fridge Judaeo-Christian, I fancy a snack."
"I have appetite, which you clearly lack."
"I hef just killt mein Godt!" chortles Nietzsche.
His plan for world lederhosening is going peachy
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
Along came a platypus wth a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book,
" Wot the fuck!" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry,I was stoned" says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he fuck !" Vishnu !, unsheathes his blade,
I say now!...It's time for a midnight raid.
" To the fridge Judaeo-Christian, I fancy a snack."
"I have appetite, which you clearly lack."
"I hef just killt mein Godt!" chortles Nietzsche.
His plan for world lederhosening is going peachy
Suck it Errant!
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."
QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.
#300
frookenhauer
- Mortal Sword
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 1,113
- Joined: 11-July 08
- Location:England
-
Interests:Women
Money
AI
Writing
Posted 28 February 2009 - 04:11 PM
An Ode to Relgion
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
Along came a platypus wth a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book,
" Wot the fuck!" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry,I was stoned" says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he fuck !" Vishnu !, unsheathes his blade,
I say now!...It's time for a midnight raid.
" To the fridge Judaeo-Christian, I fancy a snack."
"I have appetite, which you clearly lack."
"I hef just killt mein Godt!" chortles Nietzsche.
His plan for world lederhosening is going peachy
A world without faith was much to his taste
God and I sitting in a tree,
K.I.S.S.I.N.G
Along came a platypus wth a quizzical look,
Made me take another look at THAT book,
" Wot the fuck!" says "plat" to the big man,
And here comes Dawkins with his delusion,
" I'm sorry,I was stoned" says our whimsical God,
Claims he's the only one...the silly old sod !
" Is he fuck !" Vishnu !, unsheathes his blade,
I say now!...It's time for a midnight raid.
" To the fridge Judaeo-Christian, I fancy a snack."
"I have appetite, which you clearly lack."
"I hef just killt mein Godt!" chortles Nietzsche.
His plan for world lederhosening is going peachy
A world without faith was much to his taste
souls are for wimps
