Malazan Empire: Terry Goodkind **Spoilers** - Malazan Empire

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Terry Goodkind **Spoilers** A discussion topic that will never die

#601 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 08 December 2009 - 06:20 AM

Which is sadly about 200 pages after you'd start wanting to die.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#602 User is offline   Grimjust Bearegular 

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Posted 10 December 2009 - 01:57 PM

Reasons not to Like Tairy, the Shearded Vulture:


Attached File  Terry_Goodkind_Sword_of_Truth_serie.jpg (67.02K)
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Attached File  7a4acf8f58596d9a2977634a5650bcbabaff08d1.jpg (21.57K)
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Things and stuffs...and other important objects.
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#603 User is offline   stone monkey 

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Posted 13 December 2009 - 07:34 PM

I stopped reading those after Soul of the Fire, as there's only so many times you can punch yourself in the face before you finally realise that it's a bad idea....
If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry, that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware of having no good reason for thinking as you do. If some one maintains that two and two are five, or that Iceland is on the equator, you feel pity rather than anger, unless you know so little of arithmetic or geography that his opinion shakes your own contrary conviction. … So whenever you find yourself getting angry about a difference of opinion, be on your guard; you will probably find, on examination, that your belief is going beyond what the evidence warrants. Bertrand Russell

#604 User is offline   Nostra 

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Posted 14 December 2009 - 06:24 PM

I'll have to say that Terry Goodkind reminds me an awful lot of Kane from C&C... scary stuff!

Hehe, anyway, I've read the whole Sword of Truth series and I find it a really good story, but it the way it's put forward to us is pretty... lame, all respect to Goodkind but I get the feeling when I read his books that he is either writing for a retard, or a five year old. Most concepts are extremely simplified and never told just once, but up to three, four times- often in the very same chapter. It gets very tiresome and is the reasin I didn't finish the series until just a few months ago. The end was horribly anticlimactic, I must admit, I'd much rather had seen a more agressive end than the "everyone's happy" now kind of deal, think it would have worked a lot better too.
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#605 User is online   Stalker 

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Posted 07 January 2010 - 05:14 PM

My brother got the first book of the series for Christmas. He read it quickly and liked it, so he asked me for the next books (I unfortunately have a large portion of the series in my library from my younger days). Anyway, I refused, as any sane person would do, and instead gave unto him GotM. He likes it so far, so I feel like I have done my job.
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#606 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 07 January 2010 - 09:17 PM

Has anyone attempted to read his latest Rule of Nines or whatever it's scrawled?

- Abyss, morbidly curious.
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#607 User is offline   Morgoth 

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 12:25 PM

Read a summary over at Westeros. Not a high point of modern thrillers, and in essence just a sequel to the Sword of Truth series as far as I've understood it. It would also seem that, though exceedingly simple, the plot still holds enough holes to crash land the MIR through without damaging anything of importance.

IT's telling that it's not particularly popular even at tg.net

This post has been edited by Morgoth: 10 January 2010 - 12:26 PM

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#608 User is offline   Terez 

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 02:43 PM

I had to go look. I ended up registering at their forum because they were having an argument about whether or not Law of Nines was fantasy since it still used some of the fantasy elements from Sword of Truth, and they seemed to be completely unaware of the words of their own favorite author on whether Sword of Truth was fantasy in the first place. I was going to share, and then when I registered I saw that the thread was closed.

Anyway, I just ran across an amusing quote:

Tairy fan said:

Why did he not end it better with a super happy ending with Jax returning home to the New World and a little scene where she pronounces the war is over and R.C. is dead and that she has found the love of her life and must return soon to her love in the New World that Richard created. She then does the same trick of returning to Alex's world with out a life line so she can stay as long as she wants arrives in Alex's arms as Alex sits in front of a Mirror waiting for Jax hopeful that she is to return to him as she promised. Jax appears infront of Alex and he inbraces her and every thing fades to black and the book ends.

The President (2012) said:

Please proceed, Governor.

Chris Christie (2016) said:

There it is.

Elizabeth Warren (2020) said:

And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.
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#609 User is offline   Puck 

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Posted 16 February 2010 - 12:19 AM

I've forgotten about the existence of this thread up until I recently stumbled over a tv series I watched for about ten minutes thinking 'what a total utter crap'.. That is, until I figured out the names of the protagonists and what the series was. That was the day I lost nearly every last bit of faith in tv.

This post has been edited by Puck: 16 February 2010 - 12:21 AM

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#610 User is offline   Garak 

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Posted 11 March 2010 - 05:15 PM

Just read this entire thread (meh, spare time) and I laughed so hard it hurts. I also realized something -especially after that interview. The Yearded One is pretty much the fantasy writer's version of Uwe Boll. Thanks for the laughs, guys.

This post has been edited by Garak: 11 March 2010 - 05:48 PM

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#611 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 11 March 2010 - 08:51 PM

You know it just hit me. I really miss Assail, our goodkind loving punching bag.
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#612 User is offline   beru 

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Posted 11 March 2010 - 09:00 PM

do you think he will be back? Posted Image
i want to see this world where T'lan imass kneels
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#613 User is offline   Whisperzzzzzzz 

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Posted 14 May 2010 - 02:24 AM

As it seems I've already made an impression in the Funny Picture thread, I'd just like to state here that I have no personal love for Terry Goodkind and only a minor appreciation for his series. My minor appreciation comes from the fact that it was one of the first series that I began reading when I was younger and, at the time, it seemed amazing to me. But then again, so did the Magic: The Gathering books (though, a few of the older original M:tG books actually were quite good).

This post has been edited by Whisper: 14 May 2010 - 02:25 AM

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#614 User is offline   ObsoleteResolve 

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Posted 15 May 2010 - 04:53 AM

I wish I could find a back up of my rant a few years ago about a interview Goodkind did. Suffice it to say the man is a pre-eminent egotist of the highest caliber, and spent the whole thing metaphorically pulling his flaccid dick the whole time. At least, I hope it was metaphorically. I really, really don't want to imagine that randroid slowly stroking his own cock, precum glistening from the top of his swollen member while he whispers sweet nothings to himself.

But, hey. If I have to imagine it, I want you to have to imagine it, too.
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#615 User is offline   Puck 

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Posted 23 May 2010 - 12:46 PM

I just got an icq-message from a friend, I translate:

"I just finished Goodkind's first book. That was totally disturbing. You were right to warn me, sorry that I didn't listen to you."

Made my day :)
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#616 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 19 June 2010 - 04:20 AM

Was talking with a work colleague the other day and got onto books. He knows I read a lot of fantasy and he started to tell me about this cool series he had started a while back and was up to book 4 (as of 2 years ago), but couldn't remember the title or the author, characters etc. Just that it had this guy with a sword and some chick and a cool old guy.

"OK" says I, "you've really narrowed it down". I told him I couldn't figure out what it was from that hazy info.

SO, he gets on to Google and after a while he yells out "found it!" I wander back into the office and almost fall to my knees gagging, eyes weeping blood.

There, on the screen was the wikipedia entry for "The Sword of Truth". :D

Needless to say I did the humane thing and gently told him what a terrible mistake he had made. He wouldn't listen until I told him there was a chicken that was Evil Incarnate. A casual googling of "terry goodkind evil chicken" showed him the truth as well as a site devoted to Tairy's more amusing pronouncements. He was left looking most disappointed.

I think I may have just diverted another mind away from Shit Incarnate. :p

Now all I have to do is work on his taste in movies and music ... :p
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#617 User is offline   Primateus 

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Posted 05 August 2010 - 09:52 AM

Has any of you ever seen "How I met your mother"?

There's an episode solely about how some people have bad habits but you don't notice them until they're pointed out to you.

Same thing for me with the Sword of Truth series.

Ï seriously loved that series, it was awesome, absolutely awesome. The best thing I've ever read, nothing even came close to it. In my mind Terry Goodkind could do no wrong.

Then someone on a message board ridiculed me for liking it and explained why it was bad. Obviously my first thought was "Naah, that can't be right" and I ignored him. But it still bothered me though, so I reread the books...well, the first 4 anyway.

And suddenly I noticed it and the house of cards collapsed around me. My first thought was "OH MY FRIGGIN GAWD, I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN READING THIS SHIT???"

And the rest is history.
Screw you all, and have a nice day!

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#618 User is offline   haroos 

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Posted 16 August 2010 - 03:07 PM

i know that alot of people hate him with a vengeance.

why ?

i agree that he is an arrogant person, that somewhere along his third of 4th book in his SoT series he also lost alot of
merit points as an author, but seriously , how is he any worse than quite a few others ?

i have a theory that the hate to him began during the hight of succes of WoT, when people considered him as a knockoff
of RJ's books.

i remember even once a guy writing that terry's heart surgery was an imitation of RJ's sickness (that was about 3-4 years ago).

so, my question is : aside from your views on his writing skills, what exactly do you find so loathsome about him ?
(and please, some elaboration would be nice)..



(i know there's another thread, but i'm only asking this one question).

This post has been edited by haroos: 16 August 2010 - 03:08 PM


#619 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 16 August 2010 - 03:15 PM

View Postharoos, on 16 August 2010 - 03:07 PM, said:

...i agree that he is an arrogant person, that somewhere along his third of 4th book in his SoT series he also lost alot of
merit points as an author...



You answered your own question.

And we really don't need another Tairy thread when the existing one gets into every responsive self-aggrandizing evil chicken related detail so threadmerge will be executed in 3... 2...
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#620 User is offline   haroos 

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Posted 16 August 2010 - 03:27 PM

View PostAbyss, on 16 August 2010 - 03:15 PM, said:

View Postharoos, on 16 August 2010 - 03:07 PM, said:

...i agree that he is an arrogant person, that somewhere along his third of 4th book in his SoT series he also lost alot of
merit points as an author...



You answered your own question.

And we really don't need another Tairy thread when the existing one gets into every responsive self-aggrandizing evil chicken related detail so threadmerge will be executed in 3... 2...


what about the second part of my qoute you used ?

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