[worry]

BK, I don't even know what to tell you except that if your gut tells you she needs help -- like professional help -- with an addiction (or over-self-medicating regardless of addiction), it's probably right.

[amphibian]

There's different types of seizures that can lead to absences, falls, catatonic states etc. There's also mini strokes etc. My grandmother had a few falls that resulted in broken bones and were due to medication issues that gave her dangerously low blood pressure. She still tried to wave it all off and push through even after the broken bones. Pride and fear gets us into tough situations with medical stuff.

This is incredibly dangerous stuff and she should be on the phone to the doctor immediately about this - especially after a bad fall like that.

[Nicodimas]

amphibian, on 27 December 2017 - 07:38 PM, said:

There's different types of seizures that can lead to absences, falls, catatonic states etc. There's also mini strokes etc. My grandmother had a few falls that resulted in broken bones and were due to medication issues that gave her dangerously low blood pressure. She still tried to wave it all off and push through even after the broken bones. Pride and fear gets us into tough situations with medical stuff.

This is incredibly dangerous stuff and she should be on the phone to the doctor immediately about this - especially after a bad fall like that.

Falling asleep like that screams hard Xanax use.. my buddy was in a relationship with this really nice single mom who was a good normal human being ..who got addicted to that. It’s a hard drug in my mind now. She was always falling asleep standing up...like you just mentioned. Long term benzo use and withdrawal can create all sorts of strange issues with seizures too if you remove it from the person.

She ended up ripping off about 5k cash from his bank account, sold all his videos games and valuables when he was gone at work( this story is terrible long and I probably was in near once or twice) She just got out of jail after serving 4 months for bulgary.

Benzos aren’t a joke. This was only Xanax too!

Note: on my mind as she got out a couple days back and showed up at buddies wanting to get back with him like this was all okay. She’s nuts!!

This post has been edited by Nicodimas: 28 December 2017 - 03:30 AM

[Nicodimas]

Briar King, on 28 December 2017 - 04:09 AM, said:

I thought about rooting through her meds just to see wtf she all taking but that would have looked horrible if I had been caught doing so.

Why not just ask outright ? You tell a lot about a person very quickly based off body language and their response.

[amphibian]

Asking outright to see meds is a pretty big step to make and if the person doesn't take it well, it can damage trust and a relationship. It also sets you up as somewhat disdainful of the other person if not outright scared of or disrespectful.

I suggest just telling her your concerns and asking if there's anything you can do to make going to the doctor easier or less difficult. That shows trust and involves her in a solution that she comes up with and you assist in.

This post has been edited by amphibian: 28 December 2017 - 04:40 AM

[Cause]

@BK - You need to speak to her. Better to hurt her feelings than for something to happen that cant be fixed. It may be as you say that its just too many pills or an unexpected reaction between two pills. if she has multiple doctors they might not all know what each other has prescribed. It could be a dosage error. Either way you need to make sure she has spoken about these issues with her Doctor or Doctors and they are aware of them. Its not normal to fall asleep standing up. What if she was driving, in the bath tub, on the stairs, in front of the stove etc. Incredibly dangerous. lastly I would only warn you (because I am dealing with a family member myself at the moment) that drug addiction or dependence can affect even those you would least expect. It could be as innocent as taking one more pill than prescribed to help get her through a family dinner if she thinks she needs it or as bad as a full-blown addiction.

My groove is down because I'm at work. I'm new to the job and have no leave to spare and their is no forced shutdown this time of year. So I'm at work, essentially alone. When I see another living soul I feel an intense comradery with them to know I'm not alone. Yesterday when I left I was the only at in the parking lot. I also feel guilty because its just a 3 day week between 2 long weekends. With lab work timing is crucial so I don't feel like doing anything that means coming in on the weekend and I don't feel like doing anything I cant finish. So not a productive time to be at work either. Does not help my motivation that I am in the lab alone.

[Puck]

BK, at the very least, try to get a hold of what meds your sister is taking (whether you ask her or not, I personally would despite amphs concerns, but that's up to you) and plug them all into this link or this one or something similar. The sites will tell you any possible side effects and ideally any potential unwanted crossreactions. Some meds should not be taken within an hour of each other or they cause side effects (you say she way okay until a certain point of time on one day, which to me sounds like she may have taken all that stuff at once and boom). As Cause has pointed out, depending on how many doctors she goes to (or if she buys some stuff on her own) they may not be aware of what else she takes beside their own prescription. Showing her those sites may be a first step to show you are concerned without dragging her to a doctor right away, which she may not want, but seeing potential crosseffects may be eye-opening.

This post has been edited by Puck: 28 December 2017 - 01:07 PM

[JPK]

I've been unable to talk with anyone I know about this due to the nature of the situation.

About a month ago I found video evidence of one of the employees taking money from a till while investigating a shortage. The employee in question was a pharmacy tech, and once we discovered she was taking money, we also found a couple hundred Oxycodone and Tramadol had gone missing. An investigation was launched and cameras were moved, and we caught her pocketing $40 with no ambiguity this past week. Loss Prevention finally decided they had enough evidence for termination three days ago. During the interview, she self-admitted to stealing the drugs as well as being on them while working. At this point, police were called in and she was arrested on top of being terminated. The officer decided to walk her out of the building in cuffs in front of all the employees.

Now, I know that the consequences that she's facing from all of this are due to her own shitty decisions, but I still didn't feel good about this. She's still someone I've come to know and care about while working together over the last couple of years. She's losing her job, her licence to continue working in the field, is facing criminal charges, and public humiliation in front of several of her co-workers. Charges were filed, and she was released.

Well, later that evening her daughter called because she was supposed to be at the store. We told her she wasn't here and that we'd reach out and try to get her to contract her. No surprise, she want answer any of our attempts to contact her.

This morning, we found out she attempted suicide, and was only found because the officer put the wrong date information on the paperwork and went to her house to get that corrected with a signature.

This is such a fucked situation I don't even know how to really process it.

This post has been edited by JPK: 29 December 2017 - 06:40 PM

[Mentalist]

I'm not sure if it's a breach of ethics etc, but the obvious thing seems to be to let her daughter know that the mother is not stable. If she's been doing messed up things (crimes) due to a drug habit, then she (first and foremost) needs professional help to deal with the drug habit (as well as any potential withdrawal symptoms in the immediate future). The people best capable of arranging this would be either her doctor, or next of kin.

I understand there's the potential embarassment, etc such revelations to the woman's family are likely to cause, but I feel that in this case, letting someone close to them know this is a serious issue is more important.

In any case, our thoughts are with you, JPK. It's a very messed up situation to find yourself in the middle of.

[Mezla PigDog]

I have a black eye! My son threw my phone at me - rebelling against both the No Phone rule and the No Throwing rule in one motion. I'm really self-conscious about it, I look like a domestic abuse victim.

[worry]

All you gotta do is point at the eye and say "roller derby" and everyone will be super impressed.

[JPK]

Mentalist, on 29 December 2017 - 07:03 PM, said:

I'm not sure if it's a breach of ethics etc, but the obvious thing seems to be to let her daughter know that the mother is not stable. If she's been doing messed up things (crimes) due to a drug habit, then she (first and foremost) needs professional help to deal with the drug habit (as well as any potential withdrawal symptoms in the immediate future). The people best capable of arranging this would be either her doctor, or next of kin.

I understand there's the potential embarassment, etc such revelations to the woman's family are likely to cause, but I feel that in this case, letting someone close to them know this is a serious issue is more important.

In any case, our thoughts are with you, JPK. It's a very messed up situation to find yourself in the middle of.

Yeah, her daughter knows what's going on at this point. I hope that she can get the help she needs to get past the issues that are plaguing her at the moment and that this all scares her enough to want to change. Previous experience around addicts and thieves leaves me pessimistic about the odds of that outcome though.

[Mezla PigDog]

JPK, on 29 December 2017 - 09:47 PM, said:

Mentalist, on 29 December 2017 - 07:03 PM, said:

I'm not sure if it's a breach of ethics etc, but the obvious thing seems to be to let her daughter know that the mother is not stable. If she's been doing messed up things (crimes) due to a drug habit, then she (first and foremost) needs professional help to deal with the drug habit (as well as any potential withdrawal symptoms in the immediate future). The people best capable of arranging this would be either her doctor, or next of kin.

I understand there's the potential embarassment, etc such revelations to the woman's family are likely to cause, but I feel that in this case, letting someone close to them know this is a serious issue is more important.

In any case, our thoughts are with you, JPK. It's a very messed up situation to find yourself in the middle of.

Yeah, her daughter knows what's going on at this point. I hope that she can get the help she needs to get past the issues that are plaguing her at the moment and that this all scares her enough to want to change. Previous experience around addicts and thieves leaves me pessimistic about the odds of that outcome though.

It's tough but you've got to forget about it. So long as you do the basics required of a normal decent person then that is that. Addiction fucks up everyone around them - you second guess what you might be able to do by going the extra mile but addicts aren't regular people. Give it the normalcy test - would your average Joe use this to sort themselves out (or not get to the point of stealing from their employer in the first place)? Yes? Leave them to it.

[worry]

I understand your frustration with hassles in getting the meds you need, and there are definitely addict subcultures formed around mutual enabling, but by and large addicts aren't the source of any of your problems. They've just been made an easy scapegoat that several industries in a pipeline profit off mercilessly, enabled by governments that facilitate the profit over people mindset and skim off the top, and a society that's been nudged towards easy, rather that productive, answers.

I mean, addiction is complicated, because we're bags of chemicals with weird brains and genetic makeups that are the result of millions upon millions of recombinations over millions upon millions of years. You're witnessing someone right now who is potentially addicted to medications she was taking...to alleviate pain -- a different kind of pain, sure -- in order to function throughout the day. If things are getting out of hand, personal accountability is fine for certain behaviors, but it's not the whole story. Addiction is a disease with no cure, only potential treatments and recovery.

[worry]

Yah. I mean, I understand the perspective (and resentment generated, for lack of a better word) when you witness or hear about individuals behaving badly and it affects you negatively even though you've been doing "the right thing". And maybe it's fine to resent individuals at that personal level, I dunno -- I'm not trying to say that there's no personal agency involved. I'm just saying on the wider level, there's a system we should be aiming for where both addict and non-addict get care, irrespective of one another, and without the punitive aspect for either. There are some very rich people profiting off the both of you not getting the care you really need and deserve, and it benefits them greatly to never see any blame.

[Gust Hubb]

Step mom is a real bitch, especially after a few drinks. The holiday vacation at home has been good, especially with my sis in town as well, but thanks to my father and step mom, I am seriously considering not returning next year. I am tired of all their unadult behavior, like watching a tv show with a gay sex scene while my kids were trying to eat dinner. Goddamn self centered whiney old people.

[Cause]

My brother in law has been stealing from me. I got him help with an alcohol addiction and he lives with me and my sister since he got out of rehab, he seemed to be doing really well and improving. That was because he had just changed addictions to drugs. Besides for pawning some of my sisters jewelry I have learnt that half my gaming collection has gone missing and who knows what else. In the grand scheme of things it may seem petty to complain about but it makes me so angry to know my collection is incomplete. In fact I noticed because I just bought an xbone one to replay some of the xbox360 games that are now gone.

It also means Ill never trust him to stay at my house again. I also have to wonder if everything I have ever lost for the last year or longer is not his doing. A year ago I lost my late fathers watch and tore my house down looking for it. Did he steal it, I will always wonder. Anything goes missing in the future and I will wonder.

[Aptorian]

Cause, on 30 December 2017 - 09:49 PM, said:

In the grand scheme of things it may seem petty to complain about but it makes me so angry to know my collection is incomplete.

It's not petty. You've invited somebody you trust into your home. Your safe space if you will. Never mind the theft itself. For somebody to betray that guest privilege is an affront to one of the most sacred rules we have as a civilization.

I hope your brother gets help but I also hope you realize the ground rules you have to set from here on in and I hope you discuss this with other family members and friends, before it gets worse.

[Mentalist]

I really need to realize that 30 year olds should not binge-drink the way 20 year olds do.

[Macros]

So much this.