[Illuyankas]

He's probably trying to put them on inside out.

[Morgoth]

I had nightmare about forgetting an assignment for law school, realising as I was eating breakfast.

One would think I'd stop having such dreams now, 5 years after I finished law school.

[worry]

The nightmares never end.

[Tsundoku]

Zoolanderis Derake, on 15 March 2016 - 07:03 AM, said:

The nightmares never end.

Only if you have a conscience.

There's hope for you yet Morgy.

[Gust Hubb]

German cockroaches. Found my fourth one in the last month this morning. I swear, I need a vacation to somewhere cold and desolate.

Spoiler

 20160315_052553.jpg (3.85MB)
Number of downloads: 2

This post has been edited by Gust Hubb: 15 March 2016 - 11:55 AM

[Tiste Simeon]

Gust Hubb, on 15 March 2016 - 11:54 AM, said:

German cockroaches. Found my fourth one in the last month this morning. I swear, I need a vacation to somewhere cold and desolate.

Spoiler

20160315_052553.jpg

The North of England welcomes you!

[Mentalist]

Morgoth, on 15 March 2016 - 06:59 AM, said:

I had nightmare about forgetting an assignment for law school, realising as I was eating breakfast.

One would think I'd stop having such dreams now, 5 years after I finished law school.

Would you rather have nightmares about missing filing deadlines?

[Arthur Dayne]

Gust Hubb, on 12 March 2016 - 08:44 PM, said:

Figuring out maintenance (alimony) and child support is bringing me down...

So far, the difference in our discretionary/fluctuating spending (eg food, gas, household supplies, recreation) is around $750, in her favor. I calculated this by subtracting our fixed expenses (rent, car insurance, etc) from what we both get in net income (using the current alimony/child support calculations).

I guess what is most worrisome is she will demand this be status quo... she already felt like it would be fair for me to give her 50% of my net (post tax) income this month, and using more accurate calculations, she still gets 49% of my net income. I feel like 36% is more fair since she works and brings in her own money (albeit less than I do). We'll see I guess.

Are you paying her Alimony because of a court order GH? Because unless it's ordered, typically when you split you stop paying your soon to be ex wife. Honestly (and this may just be my own jaded opinion) I don't see why you feel obligated past child support, especially considering her circumstances with the other woman. That's typically the point of divorce and settling of possessions/debts. A lawyer who is worth a crap will help you with all this and keep you from bleeding yourself dry because you still care. I hope you come out for the better in all this.

[Mentalist]

Arthur Dayne, on 15 March 2016 - 04:23 PM, said:

Gust Hubb, on 12 March 2016 - 08:44 PM, said:

Figuring out maintenance (alimony) and child support is bringing me down...

So far, the difference in our discretionary/fluctuating spending (eg food, gas, household supplies, recreation) is around $750, in her favor. I calculated this by subtracting our fixed expenses (rent, car insurance, etc) from what we both get in net income (using the current alimony/child support calculations).

I guess what is most worrisome is she will demand this be status quo... she already felt like it would be fair for me to give her 50% of my net (post tax) income this month, and using more accurate calculations, she still gets 49% of my net income. I feel like 36% is more fair since she works and brings in her own money (albeit less than I do). We'll see I guess.

Are you paying her Alimony because of a court order GH? Because unless it's ordered, typically when you split you stop paying your soon to be ex wife. Honestly (and this may just be my own jaded opinion) I don't see why you feel obligated past child support, especially considering her circumstances with the other woman. That's typically the point of divorce and settling of possessions/debts. A lawyer who is worth a crap will help you with all this and keep you from bleeding yourself dry because you still care. I hope you come out for the better in all this.

I have no idea how it works in US, but in Canada, spousal support (alimony) is not defined the same way that child support is (there's nice charts and it's 90% based on incomes). Spousal suppor is much more confusing. Basic idea is to benefit the "less well off" spouse. It a takes into account circumstance of the marriage- ex, if GH's ex abandoned her own career to raise the kids, while GH pursue his med degree, a Canadian court would put a value on the "lost opportunities" of GH's ex, and h may be expected to support her until she can be reasonably expected to achieve financial independence.

that's just on example. The system is complicated, and it's all very discretionary. One of the reasons I never had any intention of getting into family law.

Disclaimer for any Canadians: the above does not constitute legal advice of any sort, merely info recalled from second year family law in VERY rough form to illustrate how complicated the system can be. For legal advice, consult a specialist.

This post has been edited by Mentalist: 15 March 2016 - 06:42 PM

[Una]

Morgoth, on 15 March 2016 - 06:59 AM, said:

I had nightmare about forgetting an assignment for law school, realising as I was eating breakfast.

One would think I'd stop having such dreams now, 5 years after I finished law school.

I'm 10 years out of med school and I still get dreams where I've missed an exam and they won't let me graduate. Or I've been registered for a course and didn't know about it so I have not been going to class and it's too late to withdraw. I have woken up in tears.

My father is in his 70s and still has dreams where he has nothing to hand in for his PhD thesis.

Hate to break it to you, but the nightmares may not ever stop happening.

[Mentalist]

Una, on 15 March 2016 - 06:47 PM, said:

Morgoth, on 15 March 2016 - 06:59 AM, said:

I had nightmare about forgetting an assignment for law school, realising as I was eating breakfast.

One would think I'd stop having such dreams now, 5 years after I finished law school.

I'm 10 years out of med school and I still get dreams where I've missed an exam and they won't let me graduate. Or I've been registered for a course and didn't know about it so I have not been going to class and it's too late to withdraw. I have woken up in tears.

My father is in his 70s and still has dreams where he has nothing to hand in for his PhD thesis.

Hate to break it to you, but the nightmares may not ever stop happening.

Only one of those I ever get is sleeping late for an exam. Which did happen once in undergrad. Thankfully it was only one of the 4 during the year. But it was a final and I ran in an hour late.
I don't remember many of my dreams, but I do recall reliving that one from time to time.

[QuickTidal]

Mentalist, on 15 March 2016 - 06:40 PM, said:

Arthur Dayne, on 15 March 2016 - 04:23 PM, said:

Gust Hubb, on 12 March 2016 - 08:44 PM, said:

Figuring out maintenance (alimony) and child support is bringing me down...

So far, the difference in our discretionary/fluctuating spending (eg food, gas, household supplies, recreation) is around $750, in her favor. I calculated this by subtracting our fixed expenses (rent, car insurance, etc) from what we both get in net income (using the current alimony/child support calculations).

I guess what is most worrisome is she will demand this be status quo... she already felt like it would be fair for me to give her 50% of my net (post tax) income this month, and using more accurate calculations, she still gets 49% of my net income. I feel like 36% is more fair since she works and brings in her own money (albeit less than I do). We'll see I guess.

Are you paying her Alimony because of a court order GH? Because unless it's ordered, typically when you split you stop paying your soon to be ex wife. Honestly (and this may just be my own jaded opinion) I don't see why you feel obligated past child support, especially considering her circumstances with the other woman. That's typically the point of divorce and settling of possessions/debts. A lawyer who is worth a crap will help you with all this and keep you from bleeding yourself dry because you still care. I hope you come out for the better in all this.

I have no idea how it works in US, but in Canada, spousal support (alimony) is not defined the same way that child support is (there's nice charts and it's 90% based on incomes). Spousal suppor is much more confusing. Basic idea is to benefit the "less well off" spouse. It a takes into account circumstance of the marriage- ex, if GH's ex abandoned her own career to raise the kids, while GH pursue his med degree, a Canadian court would put a value on the "lost opportunities" of GH's ex, and h may be expected to support her until she can be reasonably expected to achieve financial independence.

that's just on example. The system is complicated, and it's all very discretionary. One of the reasons I never had any intention of getting into family law.

Disclaimer for any Canadians: the above does not constitute legal advice of any sort, merely info recalled from second year family law in VERY rough form to illustrate how complicated the system can be. For legal advice, consult a specialist.

As a Canadian whose parents went through a divorce (way back when I was 13), I can confirm that this is exactly how it works. My mom gave up her job when my sister and I were born to look after us, and my dad became sole breadwinnner. As a result, the court ordered him to pay child support AND spousal support (both were mathematically figured out from his income). Child support was meant to have continued until we were 18. It did for me, but at around age 17, my sister (who at the time was knee deep in teenaged trouble) left the house and my dad was not legally responsible to pay my mom for her anymore...he instead opted to pay my sister directly for the remaining year...which he did...but my mom was furious. Her spousal support was a different matter. Basically, when all the assets were divied up, the house we lived in was sold and each parent got half, the spousal support for my mom was overall minused that amount (the court considered it money that could help repay what she'd lost becoming a homemaker). So her support was for something like 5 years IIRC, which was considered enough time for her to get back onto her feet with a job that paid enough for her to live. But it all seemed both discretionary and based on wages...but it most definitely was taken into major consideration the status of the marriage and the fact that my mom was a stay-at-home mom.

[Gust Hubb]

Thanks again guys.

Yeah, the situation is of course complicated. My ex does have a job, but it is a "work-when-she-wants" type of nursing assistant. Moreover, she is going into seminary now. It's hard to say how my career impacted hers given how many times she has changed directions (sociology to premed to nursing to seminary). She has been largely a stay at home mom, but she has been fighting to get out into the working world, and made significant progress that direction when getting her certification as a nursing assistant. She also was a nanny while I was in med school.

As for the other woman, there isn't anyone for either of us, no infidelity driving this divorce or even factored in (not that it would, Colorado is a no fault divorce state). The main problem is I make enough money to survive, she doesn't, and there is a sense of entitlement since she supported me through med school (even though the debt is all mine...).

[Gust Hubb]

Tiste Simeon, on 15 March 2016 - 02:31 PM, said:

Gust Hubb, on 15 March 2016 - 11:54 AM, said:

German cockroaches. Found my fourth one in the last month this morning. I swear, I need a vacation to somewhere cold and desolate.

Spoiler

20160315_052553.jpg

The North of England welcomes you!

Oh that I were in England instead of here....

[amphibian]

You are probably going to need to be there for your kids in a big way and continuously with that level of instability.

[Abyss]

Gust Hubb, on 15 March 2016 - 11:54 AM, said:

German cockroaches. Found my fourth one in the last month this morning.

How do you know they're German?Is it the accent?

[Macros]

The goose step

[Morgoth]

Macros, on 16 March 2016 - 07:00 AM, said:

The goose step

They put all the silverfish in camps.

[Gust Hubb]

Abyss, on 16 March 2016 - 05:02 AM, said:

Gust Hubb, on 15 March 2016 - 11:54 AM, said:

German cockroaches. Found my fourth one in the last month this morning.

How do you know they're German?Is it the accent?

They are small, hardy, can live off of toothpaste and have a white streak down their back.

[Gust Hubb]

amphibian, on 16 March 2016 - 04:05 AM, said:

You are probably going to need to be there for your kids in a big way and continuously with that level of instability.

Agreed. I am already the more stable by far and the boys do well with that