Tapper, on 13 December 2011 - 11:25 AM, said:
The fact that you cannot abide them, as you put it, is really going to help them. /sarcasm.
I actually take offense at your statement. Read on for why.
I quite understand her. Sometimes, you feel just that you don't have the time or the opportunity to pursuit your dreams, or that the opportunity has passed you by without having taken it up. You can't just replace such a dream when it shatters with something else. At the same time, you also realise that to continue hoping it may one day come true is also not going to help you. I think it is a phase we all go through - look at the amount of divorces, and see the disenchantment that comes with a lot of marriages. Singles get it, too. Working people, who realise they're part of the machine now and can't quit to travel, or for whom promotion is not going to be in easy reach.
With women, there is the added time pressure of the ideal age of child birth. There is a reason why there are so many single women of 28-35 really desperate for a stable relationship: it's the clock that's ticking for them before they enter an age where child birth has increased chances at complications. I've dated girls that say at the first date that they want kids within two years. They're that upfront - better to scare off the guy on date 1 than invest in him and break up over this issue when you are emotionally committed.
And beautiful girls? Y'see, the thing is, like QT says: you think she can get any man she wants. Are you going to approach her? No, probably not, because she can get any man, why would she go for average you?
So can she get you? Not really, because you're not going to make the effort towards her as you've already disqualified yourself, and you might actually be a bit suspicious of her intentions if she approaches you.
So from whom does she get attention? Well, confident sons of bitches who see her as a good lay, and who gain more confidence (and may move on) when they get her. Dogs that want to hump her leg or drool over her to look popular with their mates. People who go for the outside. Her boss at work, who relishes a fresh little morsel. And those are also the people who will move on to the next golden maned long legged creature when she walks past. Decent stable BF who will be really, really happy with her is not going to be in her life unless she's lucky and decent stable BF-guy makes a move for her, or reacts to her show of interest, or decent stable BF-guy is also beautiful and really confident.
I know a girl who is a ridiculously beautiful redhead. Charming, talented, works at a law firm as PR agent. Completely disenchanted with life. Her boyfriends/ lovers are either high in the firm (usually married), or newly started lawyers whose heads are filled with dreams of money and the rich life, or minor celebrities who she meets at the upscale cocktail parties for the rich and famous in her network.
They all tend to be shitheads - but she dates them. Why? Because they approach her, because they pay her attention and start off by showing affection. They make her feel wanted. Most women hate her guts - I think she has very few real friends. The only guys outside of that crashing love life are those valued by her are the ones she can talk to - but she cherishes that so much that she's never going to date any of them for fear of breaking that fail safe. So yeah, vicious circle.
Now, sure, that is at the very least partly her fault for fishing in the wrong pond - but through 6 years of high school and 4 of university (perhaps more), she never found a good guy either, before the career circle started to come involved. But yeah, you'll perhaps find her in a corner of a restaurant in a city somewhere in Europe, and wonder why that gorgeous creature looks so sad and is on her own. And then you go on clubbing with your mates, having a good time.
So don;t tell me you can't abide such people. They're people too, and most people have issues. End of story.
You misunderstand, Tapper. When I say sad sacks, I don't mean people like the one QT described. She clearly has a problem, if it's that glaring to him. And perhaps I should've said, people with illnesses AND very real, very bad problems in their lives (like the ones you described) are justified. I'm not completely ignorant: I have a mate whose family more or less hates and belittles him, and if he moves out they'll disown him utterly. His mental state isn't good, he's had therapy a few times. His love life has basically been one heartbreak after another. The only reason I know this is because of his Tumblr account, where he lets all of it loose. And he is totally validated in doing so, because there really isn't another place he can vent. His life is constricting him.
Now, maybe I'm not as experienced as some, but to me, sad sacks are those people who didn't have said illnesses or problems. They are grade-A whiners. They were rife at my school, and they never got into the spirit of things or wanted to let their hair down and have fun. On school camps, they were constantly bitching and always went to bed early. They wanted to finish it ASAP. So yeah, maybe my definition was unclear, and for that I apologise. I don't presume to judge those that might have actual problems in their lives (to say nothing of the ones you listed). But yeah, just clearing that up.
Tapper, on 13 December 2011 - 11:26 AM, said:
Mezla PigDog, on 13 December 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:
Ain, on 13 December 2011 - 09:57 AM, said:
AND worry about her travelling home by herself. Oh well. It'll be ok.
I don't know about the other ladies on the board but I really hate it when men worry about me going about my normal business. Yes the world can be a dangerous place but we aren't all fragile flowers that can't get a bus/train/cab without being in danger of being sullied. Besides, being flashed at makes for a highly entertaining party anecdote.
I was going to say that in my experience, women hate patronizing bfs, but considering my rather harsh reply on the other issue I decided against it
Well, that's a fair comment, but let me assure, there's no patronising here. She's been doing this for a lot longer than I've been adding up, and I guess that means she can handle herself. But she's very small and very non-confrontational, and I honestly can't envision how she would deal with a possible problem with unwanted attention. And yeah, I'm probably overreacting. But it is solely out of concern for her welfare. If it starts to interfere with our relationship, then I'll put a stop to it
Groove is messed because I can't decide between laser-tag and mini golf. Yes, supah srs pr0bl3mz
Loki 
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